This is a song fic…. It's rated m for a small reason. I went for the feelings more than the smut in this one. It uses the song Alone, by Heart.

I hear the ticking of the clock,

I'm lying here,

The room's pitch dark,

BJ stares at the ceiling of the imprisoning tent, shadows creeping down every fold in the canvas. Charles's alarm clock ticks slowly, like the beating of a heart.

I wonder where you are tonight,

No answer on the telephone,

He is alone in his solitude. Hawkeye is away, at the 8063rd evac. The lines were down, and they had had a long session in OR. Without Hawk, they were down one surgeon. BJ is exhausted.

And the night goes by so very slow,

Oh, I hope that it won't end though,

Alone

BJ cannot find rest because of his worry for Hawkeye. He hopes that haw will be back tonight, and silently prays for his safety.

Till now,

I always got by on my own,

I never really cared until I met you,

And now it chills me to the bone,

How do I get you alone,

How do I get you alone?

He can see the memories of his friendship with Hawkeye. Funny how a time apart makes everything seem so different.

You don't know how long I have wanted,

To touch your lips and hold you tight, Oh!

He touches himself, like a sex starved child, as he watches Hawkeye strip himself and starts to stroke BJ's aching cock. With a muffled grunt, he cums into his blankets. He feels dirty, gross , wrong, and begins to sob.

You don't know how long I have waited,

And I was going to tell you tonight,

BJ writes another love letter to a manwho will never read them.

'Hawkeye, you are the only one,

My all in all, I love you more than life itself,

I would sacrifice my life to you without thinking, my god,

I want to feel your body next to mine,

Your lips on mine,

I love you Hawkeye….

But the secret is still my own,

And my love for you is still unknown,

Alone

He pours himself a drink, sitting up in bed to sip the sour liquid. Ooh, it had a good kick. Like radiator fluid. He really stopped caring about his health. The letter is forgotten, open on the floor.

….Till now,

I always got by on my own,

I never really cared until I met you,

And now it chills me to the bone,

How do I get you alone,

How do I get you alone?

-Hawkeye walks into the swamp, slightly inebriated and very tired. He nearly collapses on his bunk before noticing the paper on the floor. Curious, he picks it up. It is in BJ's handwriting.