We're All Suicidal
Chapter 1: Destined to Die
0o0o0
I did not believe in the afterlife
That our souls –the minute is departed from their bodies–
Are destined to go in their appropriate places
Find peace, be remorseful
I did not believe in that crap
But when she came to me saying I was to die
I reconsider believing on the hereafter
So I can murder her ghost myself
0o0o0
Cars?
He knows it all
Every brand of car, tires, system, brakes, whatever thing you put in that moving tin can. Every slight fluctuation of those neon lights. Every second needed for it to fully stop. Every dent. Every tire he burst. Every skid marks he used to call art. Every humungous engine he placed in his. Everyone that can be a potential threat to his career. Every person that made history in the car universe that he is entirely jealous of. Every noise it can make, damage it can make. Goddamn it he knows it all. His life was practically made for cars and nothing but cars.
He was Uchiha Sasuke
Race car driver, one of the best. Actually, best of the best.
Just after his brother Uchiha Itachi that is.
With an entire family entering the world of racing (as they were almost celebrities) it was natural that in their blood lies the thirst for speed, for the chase, for the horde of girls who by the way just about worshiping them. They may as well call themselves the gods of race.
But still Sasuke was only second best. The top was always reserved for his brother. Always.
"Sasuke"
He knew that voice almost so well that he always act in retaliation "what?!" in an angry tone. The figure widened his eyes and giggled "keep it cool Sasuke; I just wanted to ask if you want some." The voice uttered a soft but somehow intimidating laugh and with such grace lifted his arm showing a platter full of chips "no" Sasuke replied as blood rose to his cheeks. Embarrassed, he turned his head away before the older Uchiha could even notice his discomfort. He scowled irritated that HE, again, tried to converse with him. What was he to him anyway? Nothing but a laughingstock, Sasuke presumed. At the age of 13 Itachi managed to get his first major cup—he was already a professional—at that age, Sasuke only managed to get a silver at go-carts.
And Itachi trying to be good to him irritated him more.
"Itachi dear, your uncle Madara here has a lot to tell you" Sasuke's mother, Mikoto said
"I'll be back Sasuke, make sure you don't go in a rampage now will you?" were Itachi's last words lifting his dainty hand flicking his finger on Sasuke's forehead before leaving. Sasuke turned his head once more only seeing his brother's outline then placed his fingers on his forehead feeling a small bump.
"That. Son. Of. A. Bitch."
0o0o0
During occasions or every time they felt like it, every Uchiha gathers together to talk about their never ending success. It was hell for Sasuke and heaven for Itachi. Who wouldn't want to talk to Itachi anyway? Him being the best. Sasuke as second. It was natural that they converse with their prodigy; they had no time to meddle with second best. It was almost becoming routine-like that all they speak of his triumphs and accomplishments that Sasuke's ears would seem to bleed every single time. Another prize cup Itachi? Another record Itachi? New girlfriend Itachi? Itachi! Itachi! Itachi!
Life. Was. Just. So.
"Great" he managed to say through clenched teeth as he saw an entity nearing in on him.
The person lifted her glasses and smirked at the sight of him. His eyes twitched several times trying his best to recompose himself, he needed to calm down for his cool is ebbing away "I need to be alone" he said, not wanting to start up a conversation with her. His mind replayed his encounter with Itachi over and over and at that even murmured "Itachi" within earshot. She raised a red brow at him. He then folded his arms looking at the woman right in from of him and at the sight—with Itachi in his head as a big factor—made his head just inches off from obliterating 'What does she want now?!' His thoughts were cut off as she spoke "you know, thinking about him ain't gonna help, so just… stop thinking about Itachi" said a sultry, obviously flirting voice. He winced at his brother's name but kept an emotionless façade as the figure closed in on him, wearing a long black dress with her fiery hair to match "think of other… important things…" he then met her eyes, she in turn stared more intently unto his onyx orbs. He winced; he knew he shouldn't have tagged her along "like…" she set a hand on his cheek caressing it softly.
"Me—"
"You know I told you specifically to keep your distance" sternly he said as she looked deeper unto his deep dark pools of black suddenly turn red. He gripped on her hand almost bruising it saying "your purpose is to accompany me and that is all"
In fear she managed to say nothing in return but a simple nod before backing away.
0o0o0
Karin, one of his crew, liable for getting info about Sasuke's competitors. He didn't hate her nor like her, She was—like the others who were mere instruments to winning his matches—supposed to do her job and not engage in anything other than that—period. Along with Juugo and Suigetsu, they make Sasuke win all his races. Of course, except when Itachi is joined.
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, ITACHI always ITACHI
It was always about his brother. Because he's better, more good-looking, more victorious, more mature, more everything. Even his own father lectures him that he should be like him. He doesn't want to be a mini Itachi. How gross would that be? He didn't want to think about. He wanted to be himself. The Sasuke who CAN be better than him.
"Sasuke dear, dinner is in a few minutes, you better hurry or else your seat beside Itachi will get occ-u-pied" Uchiha Mikoto said, letting the last parts of her sentence come out more playfully. Sasuke twitched a bit mentioning his name again. She then tucked a strand of his bangs away from his face "oh you boys are growing up so well" she said in a very motherly voice "hn" he grunts. Her face lightened and gave a wide grin "oh, you seem to talk like Itachi now."
Again, Itachi. And… what—BITCH!
"Alright I'll be right there… just a few more minutes" he then refrained himself from strangling his own mother. "alright" his mother replied laying a wrinkled hand on his shoulders "don't be late though, I made a special tomato dinner just for you" then a tad bit though, his face lit up "thanks" he uttered until his mother walked away towards the dining area.
'Alright, I'll let those bitches get settled in first…'
After his mother and mostly everybody were long gone, he decided to have a bit of 'me' time, all of them might just be chatting about Itachi again anyway. 'Itachi, Itachi, you should also try modeling or maybe acting, the girls would just totally drool over you! I think you should give out autographed underwear Itachi, that would supply you enough for nine lifetimes!! Itachi, a shampoo commercial would be great you know, I see it now… your name, Uchiha Itachi in LIGHTS!!' He thought sarcastically mimicking all those idolizing his brother. His face then turned sour as he made a disgruntled look, disgusted of just how they treat his brother as if he. was. god. 'Why won't they just stick a pole up in their ass?'
Then, he heard sudden rumbling from the bushes.
He looked to see what caused it… nothing. He shrugged it off as he turned to the opposite direction to walk towards the mansion. Then he heard it again. Quickly, he turned around to see what caused it, but to his dismay saw nothing but bushes. There was no way that plants could possibly move by it selves either does 'the Sasuke' admit to be seeing things, so it MUST be something.
Something… black.
At the corner of his eyes saw a cat… a green-eyed cat. He stared at it as if waiting for it to talk but it didn't, instead… its eyes turned white.
"What the—"
Before he could even finish, it ran. He ought to follow it but knew better. First, he goes wacko when he sees Itachi, Then, FOLLOWS cats? That'll be great. Another reason as to why they all are more in favor of Itachi because at least he isn't the one who's retarded. It'll totally ruin his hard-earned image.
Headlines: Uchiha Sasuke, the absurd race car driver of all time, who would have known he's related to the Uchihas?
Wow.
0o0o0
A few minutes after the odd encounter he then walked until he reached the glass doors of their humungous dinning area, lifting his pale arm to open the knobs he decided to pause for a while, to think at least. He knew that his seat was of course empty and is beside Itachi's—for Itachi would always reserve the seat next to him for Sasuke, though reason unknown—people thought it was… cute. The two brothers always… together, stuff like that. But for him IT. WAS. NOT. CUTE. If sitting next to your source of hate and jealousy is what people nowadays define cute. Then it is cute. Cute enough for him to gag and run off to a better place like hell that is.
"Itachi, you should start our dinner with a thanksgiving speech, after all, we all are here to celebrate your recent victory against that lad, Kakashi." Their father, Uchiha Fugaku said. Lifting his wrinkled yet elegant hand motioning Itachi to start.
After overhearing this, Sasuke turned his heel and ran towards the gates of the Uchiha complex. He needed to get out of there. Another Itachi speech? Can't handle it. He needed to get away. Where? Anywhere BUT here!
He needed a drive.
All trusty Mercedes here comes Sasuke! He ran towards his car parked near the complex's gates. He rummaged through his coat looking for his keys. "God, oh god, where is that damned key?!" he said talking to no one in particular. He looked through his pockets and found no key. Back pockets, side pockets, there was no sign of where his key is. Then in desperation, searched his coat once more. Then a glint coming from the bottom of the coat's right pocket drew his attention. Albeit hidden from pieces of candy wrappers, it was highly recognizable. It was his key.
"There is a god!"
Quickly, he opened his car door and started his engine. As he heard the sounds of his car rev up he felt as if he tasted a bit of heaven. 'Yes, take me anywhere they're not' he hastily sped towards the gates leaving the complex go crazy over Itachi without him. 'Well, whatever, do your thing and do Itachi whatever, I'm getting out of here'
He then drove and drove, feeling the damp, cold wind brush against his skin. Oddly, he felt at home as if the road was his home. The lights he saw as he passed, comforted him. He didn't care where he was or where he's going, though there was some weird attraction forming before him... it was a fact that he didn't care where he's going and that would mean he'll be driving around without any routes or ways to follow but something pulls him to go to the direction he's heading, as if he was being… magnetized. He just shrugged off the idea. Who cares anyway? He's back on the road.
Only if he knew that he was about die then maybe he would care.
Everything was going fast; he thought he was in control but no. Apparently, he wasn't. A speeding car hit his own in a head-on collision, Sasuke was on the right lane, the other was too, but seems to be in a haste and was actually speeding up enough to earn him a ticket. In desperation, the Honda Civic tried to overtake the beetle car up in his front—even though aware of the sharp turn ahead—but ended up being smashed into Sasuke's Mercedes instead. Instantly killing him.
And Sasuke? Coma.
0o0o0
After his family came to the scene, and after police left, and after everyone did the same leaving the cleaners fix the pile-up. Tow truck and everything. News spread:
Famous racer Uchiha Sasuke involved in car crash, now in coma.
He lifted up his seemingly heavy head but failed. He squinted as an array of bright lights attacked him. Those goddamned lights seemed to be blinding him. When his eyes got accustomed to the environment. Sasuke began to take things in. white walls. Weird dying odor. Beeps coming from what god-forsaken machine he did not know of. The white sheets. Yup, hospital. He wasn't unfamiliar in the hospital. He's been a frequent visitor—er—patient, broken bones, sprains, skull fractures. All due to his hell of a career. He didn't care though, all the pain was worth it. He loved racing. He took a deep breath, good thing is he can still enjoy it, he's still not dead!
He spoke too soon.
He shifted his eyes and saw a familiar outline sitting right beside him. Black hair tied up in a ponytail. Arms folded, kept his composure. His usually serene face somehow showed stress as if he was very tired. His skin paler than normal, even paler than Sasuke's own. But even though sleeping, had this gracefulness around him. There was no need to ask, it was so obvious.
Itachi was sleeping beside him.
So maybe he was dead. And what's worse? He's in hell.
He felt like fainting.
Then everything seemed to be just so blurry. His eyelids fluttered like crazy. But then suddenly a blur of… pink went noticed by his fast eyes. "Hey wait! Don't go dying on me!—" the blur called out to him. He wanted to keep himself awake but couldn't (for him to know what was it that he saw of course, not for him to see Itachi right next to him, his mind insisted unto thinking so.) He blinked his eyes for one last time, he saw same bright green eyes as with the cat he saw before and then that was all he managed to see before fully blacking out.
"—I haven't… even introduced myself…"
0o0o0
PLOP
After seeing his brother, he suddenly… dropped somewhere. He remembered being in the hospital. And then, feeling himself falling from his bed—supposedly— to somewhere deep and he knew it wasn't just the hospital floor. Where could he have dropped? He did felt like he was falling and also felt himself touching the ground. Oddly, his landing was amazingly… soft. But unlike the hospital, where he is now must be on lines of being in a desert and underwater. Cold, yet dry. His body felt damp but his throat seemed otherwise. Even though closed, his eyes were burning but felt the bitter wind brush against him, though he can't tell where it came from. He wanted to know where he was and fast. He pry open his eyes and…
All he sees now is black.
Everywhere he went it seemed like an eternity as only the black substance kept him isolated. He ran. But, he seemed to be running in circles, everywhere he went the pitch-black universe seemed to be following him or rather, he was running around inside the endless world as if it itself was continuously expanding. The darkness wrapped itself around him. And slowly he too, was turning like the walls around him. Disappearing, being one with the shadows. Then he heard hissing. He frantically looked around and without warning his body suffered asphyxiation. He felt slimy scales rub against his exposed skin, incessantly constricting him more and more. A snake was draping around his fragile body. Bit by bit strangling him. It's head came face to face with its own, he saw its eyes… it's eyes had slits and was in a shining color of gold. He tried to fight it, but it was futile, the snake just… laughed.
"Sasuke-kun… do not be afraid." It said, giving chills run through his spine. "I have come here to give you what you always wanted…" it continued as it tightened itself around his already weak body.
The snake snickered. "You won't be second any more…"
Sasuke's mind tensed. It was true. He didn't want to be second anymore. He won't just be Itachi's shadow. He wanted to get the attention of everybody. He wanted the attention of his own family. Most of all, he wanted to get Itachi's attention. He wanted his brother to recognize his strengths. Efforts. Achievements.
He wanted Itachi to recognize him.
"Yes, Sasuke-kun… all you wanted, I promise I WILL give to you…" the voice interrupted his thoughts. Slowly, the snake's head went nearer until it's damp putrid breath fill his nostrils, it whispered in his ear.
"…in exchange for your soul"
"LET GO OF HIM!" he heard someone say. Then he felt the added weight around him being shifted off forcefully. Quickly, his eyes searched for whoever tries to free him from the serpent and what shocked him was that beneath the strength he witnessed lies a petite…
Girl?
The graceful sway of the girl's peculiar hair seemed to draw his attention, as her hair flew against the non-existent wind, prying the snake off of his straitened body. She took hold what was a snake before—and upon fully leaving the touch of the snake's victim—burst into black flames slowly transforming of what he could make of as a man. A man that greatly resembled the serpent at least. "You devil!!" she cried as the said entity grabbed her hand and lowered his head, she winced as the man took hold of her wrist and contorted it whispering "please, you're making my life complicated. Let me have my meal, at least?" it had asked so fluidly yet managed to make his words no less than threatening.
"Hell's descent, for the sake of this soul, and for the hierarchy above, I do not ask but demand YOU leave."
As she had completed her sentence the serpent-turned-man quickly was engulfed in black flames same as when it shape-shifted, leaving the dumbfounded Sasuke sprawled across where the girl and serpent previously were. She took slow languid steps towards the young man, afraid to scare him "I-I'm a friend" she said as she extended her pale arm towards the lad. He eyed it from her finger, to her upper arm until his line of vision reached her face. He saw her lips form a sweet smile same time her eyes glistened in delight. He then recognized her familiar jade orbs. He have seen it before though not within a girl, but in a cat.
He took the girl's offer and reached for her hand, he managed to say "whe-where am I?" and then all of a sudden he was back in the hospital.
"hey" A deep voice said. Sasuke instantly looked up, he was so accustomed of that voice. He slowly rose up, wincing a bit due to a pain in his upper back. He looked into the eyes of the man before him. 'Itachi'. Before he could even speak, the man enveloped him in a warm embrace though very gently afraid to cause him pain."You bastard. You scared the shit out of me." And then Sasuke called him what he haven't called him for years. "N-Nii-san…" the older brother widened his eyes as he continued and patted his back "good to have you back"
Itachi gave him the sweetest smile he can possibly do in his lifetime.
"Sasuke-kun!" It was his mother's turn now, as she too hugged him as fat tears kept falling. "my boy, I-I'm so happy you're alive" and then followed by his father who was mentioning about always being safe and all that. And it occurred to him right at the very moment his eyes seemed to clear up a bit… he realized… that his whole family was there, butlers and maids too. He saw as people coming in and out of his hospital room, greeting him, hugging him. Cheers of "don't scare us like that again, please!", "you're alive that's all that matters" was all that he heard over and over. It was chaotic really.
But never before was he this… loved.
He liked the attention yes, but would never admit to it. He still had his pride you know. But all the people taking let's say, interest on him has been getting on his nerves and it is taking a toll on him. He never knew that he'll get tired of being noticed. He was used to the fangirls but this was a different case. Unlike the fangirls, he just couldn't throw these people away. could he?
"Uhmm.. m-my head's still hurting. I-I want to get some sleep." He murmured. As he saw people going out on his already crowded room hearing calls like "ok, have some rest first", "call us if you need anything" and the such, he smirked at his triumph. He may just get used to this.
0o0o0
Letting his long arm fit snuggly inside his beige trench coat, he readied himself. A long, long walk. He told himself, that was what he needed right now. A week after his two months of hospitalization, he was fierce about the slightest idea of getting out. And now, he can.
He didn't bother using his car he would just walk to the nearby park, a humble little park, his childhood 'headquarters' as he not-so-long-ago called. As he strolled the familiar brick pavement, he felt eyes guarding his every move. He hid his clenched fists inside his coat pockets, prepared to strike when the enemy attacks, if there's any that is.
"BOO!"
"I know you've been following me you son of a—" Instantly, Sasuke removed his hands from his pockets and gave a full power packed blow only to see it hit the twenty-five degree Celsius cold air surrounding him and everybody of the bustling city of Konoha. "—bitch." Shocked, he flopped down the nearby bench. If anyone had seen him they'll think he'd gone insane. Air Punching? That isn't good for his reputation.
"hey! That's mean of you Sasuke-kun!" he turned his head around. For a split second he thought maybe one of his fangirls had seen him punch nothing and is going to blackmail him unless he strips or something. As his head made a one hundred eighty degrees turn, he began to reconsider his sanity once more. No one was there. Of course, no one would be around this park that just happens to be still in the Uchiha vicinity, and it's fucking four o' clock. No one. No one would even dare come to his headquarters. It was HIS.
Deciding that maybe it was his hormones pushing him, making him hear voices so that for once he can get laid, he closed his eyes, trying to relax reminding himself that he's all alone. Sigh. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale…
"hey, Sasuke-kun. Are you still there? Talk to me."
He quickly opened his eyes as a transparent hand waving across his face was in view. "oh good. And here I thought you were dozing off, okay, introductions— " then the voice looked at him at his dumbfounded form. "Sa…S-Sasuke-kun…?" and there Sasuke sat rigidly, with a priceless expression on his face, as the minute that he saw the voice's pale hand in front of his face it seemed that he suddenly forgot how to breathe. "Sasuke-ku—"
And right there and then Uchiha Sasuke almost fainted.
"BREATHE! SASUKE-KUN! BREATHE!!" the voice yelled as soon as she noticed that the person in front of him had stopped breathing, pale hands grabbed him by the shoulders. "w-who—W-WHAT THE FUCK A-ARE YOU?!" Sasuke yelled making her back away a bit. "hey, it isn't nice to curse." The figure pouted releasing her grip on the boy. "who fucking CARES?! I'm asking you! WHAT. ARE. YOU?!" the figure stood in silence. Sasuke took his time to examine the entity. Long pink hair. Red kimono. Black obi… and stunningly bright viridian eyes. He stared at her familiar eyes thinking. 'SHE WAS THE FUCKING CAT!'
"I'm a suicide, Sasuke-kun."
He cringed. Sasuke-kun? With the added suffix he thought even with mystical beings he STILL has fangirls. "care to explain what that is?" he asked with his usual impassive voice. As he finally calmed down, he sat comfortably staring at the figure before him which he assumed was a girl—A fangirl no less— and the fucking cat who drove him nuts.
"I guess I'm what you call as a…" the girl paused trying to think of a fitting word. Crossing her elegant arms she pouted a bit still having the particular word clinging at the tip of her tongue. "ghost." She finally said as she looked at his black eyes, smiling sweetly at him "yeah, you call US ghosts" Sasuke then took in the information. A ghost is talking to him.
"ah, I get it." He proudly said. There was absolutely no way he was seeing, hearing and even TALKING to supernatural beings. "Really, Sasuke-kun?!" the girl's head shot up. This guy sure was fast. "I see, Naruto, yeah, he's the only one stupid enough to try and trick me" he murmured, talking to no one in particular. "excuse me?" the pink-haired girl asked. Maybe he's talking to himself she thought, after all it was a shock to her side that he wasn't disbelieving her or something. Maybe he's just trying to think. So the rosette gave her time. "oh, I was just thinking." Sasuke said as he gave her his signature smirk.
"ah, okay then Sasuke-kun." She smiled sweetly but the raven-haired boy wasn't giving her his attention, instead he kept talking to himself saying "I have to admit, he planned this really well, ghosts eh?…"
Few minutes of Sasuke talking to himself… "Sasuke-kun, are you done talking to yourself?…"
The girl's voice interrupted his thoughts "…even calling me Sasuke-kun. I see, he's trying to test me…" the girl raised a fine brow and asked in a worrying tone "Are you alright?" and at the minute her words were spoken Sasuke laughed.
"ahaha! I-I can't believe this! This is s-so real!"
He managed to say in between his laughs. The girl got worried thinking that even before she could even introduce herself, her supposed partner had gotten insane. "S-Sasuke-kun?" his eyes suddenly darted towards her shaken up form. The girl shuddered, he had such eeeeeviiilll aura that just screams DEATH. Thoughts of her being stabbed continuously to death, beaten to death, banging her head to death, choked to death and even stared down to death flooded within her. She kept saying over and over the words 'I don't wanna die' in her head until it came to her that she already was. "hn. I—finally—know what you are and why you're here."
And there Sakura proclaimed Uchiha Sasuke a genius.
"REALLY? I-I MEAN YOU KNOW?!" She said with pure excitement, running his hand through his silk black hair he answered "yeah, I do." He remained as stoic as ever "wow. And that's even before knowing my name. I think you can read minds! That's great Sasu—"
"Stop. I don't want to listen to your machine-altered voice Naruto. I'm pretty sure you're hiding here somewhere talking in that mic of yours making me think that this… this THING is talking to me. Well, one thing's for sure Naruto, you ain't gonna fool me." He said as he glanced around looking for a specific blonde-haired—as he would call it—idiot.
"but Sasu—" she said sweetly as she moved her hand to touch his shoulders but was quickly cut off as he swatted her hand—even though it just passed through—and shifted his head to face her.
"You're just a hologram."
0o0o0.:author's notes:.0o0o0
Ok that was the first Chapter. Like it? Hate it? Have to pee? Say it all when you press that little review button over there. I have to admit that this chapter was chaotic. It was all unorganized and even un-understandable (that's not even a word, but it goes well with the confusing story) oh well. The retarded authoress would like to say…
No reviews. No updates.
That's right. I fear for this fic. I think it would… crash. So tell me beforehand if you like the plot. (even though I haven't given you guys much of the actual plot) I like to make this story as unique as possible because I think that—considering almost every second there's Naruto fics—if I don't this would just be another clichéd story. So I hope you guys would actually comply and review. Make me happy please?
Disclaimer: why is this at the end? Well, I just thought you guys would forget. I DON'T OWN NARUTO.
Misspelled words? Wrong grammar? Yeah, it's part of the story.
Kaila-chan