Title: Climbing Out.
By Jaye Reid
Written: 09.02.2002.
Spoilers: Season 3. If you don't want to know, stop reading NOW!
Rating: PG
Category: J/A angst, J/D R.
Summary: Will Josh finally wake up and smell the roses?
Archiving: Just ask, and I'll say yes anyway . Can also be found at 'Boulevard of Misdirection' http://users.mcmedia.com.au/~jayereid/jldmmain.htm
Disclaimer:
Apologies to L. Frank Baum!
'Come on Amy, hurry up I think it's gonna rain.'
'Rain!'
'Yeah you know... damn it *is* starting to rain.'
'Oh no J... I'm getting wet... I'm melting! I'm melting! I'm melll.....'
'Well I'll be damn... she's melted!'
Okay if I owned them... this is how I'd get rid of Amy. But as I don't I have to let AS do it his way!
Authors notes: It was Saturday and I was going to have a sleep in. A real one. Ha! Josh and Amy had other ideas, woke me up at 7 am and wouldn't shut up! I wish they would go somewhere else other than my head to argue at that time of day! (btw... I mentioned this to a friend, and she wants to have me certified).
Thanks go to my beta - Bridget - for once again making sure I make sense!
This is a stand alone from anything else I have written, and I don't want to write a sequel or continuation to this one.
I hope you enjoy it.
~*~*~
"Hey J?"
"Amy... ah... I was supposed to meet you somewhere, wasn't I?"
"Yes."
"Is it too late?"
"Yes."
"I won't be a minute. I've just got to finish this and I'm ready to go. Take a seat."
"What are you doing, J?"
"I've gotta order some flowers."
"Flowers? Really? I love carnations."
"Hmm?"
"Carnations, they're my favorite."
"Oh yeah, they're nice - I guess."
"You don't know what they look like, do you J?"
"Uh, no."
"J, if you wanted to order flowers, I think a phone book would be more appropriate than..."
"I need to find out what the state flower of Wisconsin is."
"Wisconsin? Isn't that were Donna is from? Why don't you just ask her?"
"Because then she'll know I'm getting her flowers."
"Excuse me?"
"It's our anniversary tomorrow and I want to get her flowers from her home state."
"You're kidding me, right?"
"No."
"You and Donna have an anniversary tomorrow and you're getting her flowers? What sort of anniversary?"
"Well, we have two. One is when she started working for me, which is like tomorrow. The other in April after she left me and came back."
"She left you?"
"Yes."
"*You*?"
"Yes."
"And then she came back?"
"Yessss."
"To *you*?"
"Amy!"
"Look, I'm just trying to get it straight okay?"
"Okay."
"So you have two anniversaries with Donna?"
"Yes, but she doesn't like me to remember the April one anymore, so I want to get her flowers for *this* one."
"And you always listen to what Donna says?"
"Hardly ever, but this is different. It's a long..."
"Story?"
"Yes."
"A long story involving you and Donna Moss. Imagine my surprise!"
"Huh? Look, I'm sorry I'm not quite ready to go yet... but this is important."
"Important? We had dinner reservations remember?"
"Reservations? Amy you didn't tell me..."
"No, you didn't remember did you?"
"Um, well... we don't usually make reservations. We just grab something to eat most of the time."
"Yeah, most of the time we do."
"But we had reservations?"
"Yes Josh, we did."
"Okay... I'm guessing we're a bit late then?"
"Yes, we established that when I got here. I think they would have given our table up to someone else by now."
"Oh."
"Yes Josh. Anyway, you said *important*?"
"Huh? What are you..."
"Ordering flowers for Donna is important."
"She's been..."
"Josh!"
"Yeah, okay. I know it's my fault we missed our dinner reservations, but yes, this is something I think is important. I want to get it right. If I got the state flower for Kansas, which is... apparently the *sunflower*, instead of Wisconsin, Donna would find it way too funny and have to share my transgression with Sam and CJ."
"And Sam and CJ wouldn't find it funny you sending your secretary flowers when it wasn't her birthday or Secretaries Day?"
"Point one. No Sam and CJ, nor any of the Senior Staff for that matter, would find it strange. They all know that Donna is important to me. Secondly, for what must be the millionth time, Donna is my *Assistant* and not a secretary."
"And you want to get her flowers."
"Yes."
"For your anniversary?"
"Yes, haven't we been through this already?"
"The flowers from her home state like in that movie?"
"Yeah... Donna likes that movie."
"I'm surprised you have any knowledge of a movie like that. Not exactly the sort of film I would have figured Joshua Lyman to watch."
"Donna got it when she was staying with me after, you know... Rosslyn. She told me it was a movie about politics."
"Got caught out on that one."
"Yeah, but it's a nice movie."
"Donna stayed with you after Rosslyn?"
"Yeah, for a few weeks. I wasn't too good on doing a lota stuff for myself after I got out of the hospital. So she was there..."
"How is it that you remember the date she started working for you?"
"I'm... I guess I'm just that kinda guy. I remember things like that."
"You do?"
"Yeah."
"What date did *we* start going out?"
"Um... it was... hang on..."
"Come on J, admit it. You've got no idea."
"Hang on give me a chance. I wasn't expecting a pop quiz tonight."
"Speaking of which..."
"What now?"
"What day is it today?"
"Um... my calendar here on my desk says - Thursday?"
"Yes, but what date?"
"Um... it's not your birthday is it? Because I don't remember you telling me what date that was."
"No J, today is February 14th - it's Valentine's Day today."
"Oh, that's why there were people with flowers all around the office. Hey, someone got CJ flowers. I'll have to ask her about that tomor..."
"J."
"Yeah... um... you wanted *me* to get *you* flowers? This is also what dinner was about? C'mon Amy, you of all people? You wanted me to participate in an activity designed purely to help increase the massive profits of the greeting card companies and those who benefit from such a commercially money-making day?"
"I don't want any damn flowers, J."
"But you just..."
"It's not about the flowers, it's about everything."
"I'll get you some if you... Hey... found it! *Wood violets* are the state flower of Wisconsin!"
"Well hurrah for that!"
"Amy..."
"I don't want any flowers! Don't you listen to me? No, don't answer that... I know the answer already."
"What? Are you saying I don't listen to you? I gotta tell you Amy - that's not true. We've been talking here for at least ten minutes now."
"This isn't working."
"What isn't working?"
"Us."
"Us?"
"Yeah, this is not working for me."
"What? Why? Look I'll take you to dinner on Saturday and I'll even buy you flowers okay?"
"No."
"Why?"
"It's just not important enough to you. I'm not important enough to you."
"Yes it is. You're important."
"Just not enough."
"That's not true. Look I said sorry."
"No, you didn't actually... but this isn't about you being sorry. It's about... J, where do I fit in on the ladder?"
"Huh?"
"The ladder... the people who are important in your life. On the rungs, where do I fit in?"
"Amy, don't do this."
"Yes J - where?"
"I refuse to do this."
"Okay, I'll do it for you."
"Amy..."
"I fit in there somewhere after Donna. And really that could be almost anywhere, because basically Donna is firmly entrenched on that top rung. I think Donna is basically on top followed by perhaps your mother, Leo or the President, the Senior Staff and then perhaps I might slot in there somewhere between them and the Cook down in the Mess."
"Amy, you're just being ridiculous now."
"No, I think I'm making more sense than I have for a while."
"Amy, don't..."
"What? Do this? This wasn't going to work. It was never going to work. I'm going now. Look after yourself, okay."
"Look Amy, I'm..."
"Don't say you're sorry okay. Just don't. There's nothing to be sorry about. Just name your first born after me."
"I don't think Donna would appreciate... shit."
"Yeah, deep in denial there J. But it looks like you're beginning to climb out before you drown."
"Amy, I'm really..."
"Yeah, sorry... I know. Give her a call, go - hire a movie. Just don't mess up. I'd hate to think I'd let you go only to find you'd messed this up."
"Amy... thanks, you know..."
"Don't mention it, just - good luck."
"Thanks Amy."
"Bye J."
*
The end.
By Jaye Reid
Written: 09.02.2002.
Spoilers: Season 3. If you don't want to know, stop reading NOW!
Rating: PG
Category: J/A angst, J/D R.
Summary: Will Josh finally wake up and smell the roses?
Archiving: Just ask, and I'll say yes anyway . Can also be found at 'Boulevard of Misdirection' http://users.mcmedia.com.au/~jayereid/jldmmain.htm
Disclaimer:
Apologies to L. Frank Baum!
'Come on Amy, hurry up I think it's gonna rain.'
'Rain!'
'Yeah you know... damn it *is* starting to rain.'
'Oh no J... I'm getting wet... I'm melting! I'm melting! I'm melll.....'
'Well I'll be damn... she's melted!'
Okay if I owned them... this is how I'd get rid of Amy. But as I don't I have to let AS do it his way!
Authors notes: It was Saturday and I was going to have a sleep in. A real one. Ha! Josh and Amy had other ideas, woke me up at 7 am and wouldn't shut up! I wish they would go somewhere else other than my head to argue at that time of day! (btw... I mentioned this to a friend, and she wants to have me certified).
Thanks go to my beta - Bridget - for once again making sure I make sense!
This is a stand alone from anything else I have written, and I don't want to write a sequel or continuation to this one.
I hope you enjoy it.
~*~*~
"Hey J?"
"Amy... ah... I was supposed to meet you somewhere, wasn't I?"
"Yes."
"Is it too late?"
"Yes."
"I won't be a minute. I've just got to finish this and I'm ready to go. Take a seat."
"What are you doing, J?"
"I've gotta order some flowers."
"Flowers? Really? I love carnations."
"Hmm?"
"Carnations, they're my favorite."
"Oh yeah, they're nice - I guess."
"You don't know what they look like, do you J?"
"Uh, no."
"J, if you wanted to order flowers, I think a phone book would be more appropriate than..."
"I need to find out what the state flower of Wisconsin is."
"Wisconsin? Isn't that were Donna is from? Why don't you just ask her?"
"Because then she'll know I'm getting her flowers."
"Excuse me?"
"It's our anniversary tomorrow and I want to get her flowers from her home state."
"You're kidding me, right?"
"No."
"You and Donna have an anniversary tomorrow and you're getting her flowers? What sort of anniversary?"
"Well, we have two. One is when she started working for me, which is like tomorrow. The other in April after she left me and came back."
"She left you?"
"Yes."
"*You*?"
"Yes."
"And then she came back?"
"Yessss."
"To *you*?"
"Amy!"
"Look, I'm just trying to get it straight okay?"
"Okay."
"So you have two anniversaries with Donna?"
"Yes, but she doesn't like me to remember the April one anymore, so I want to get her flowers for *this* one."
"And you always listen to what Donna says?"
"Hardly ever, but this is different. It's a long..."
"Story?"
"Yes."
"A long story involving you and Donna Moss. Imagine my surprise!"
"Huh? Look, I'm sorry I'm not quite ready to go yet... but this is important."
"Important? We had dinner reservations remember?"
"Reservations? Amy you didn't tell me..."
"No, you didn't remember did you?"
"Um, well... we don't usually make reservations. We just grab something to eat most of the time."
"Yeah, most of the time we do."
"But we had reservations?"
"Yes Josh, we did."
"Okay... I'm guessing we're a bit late then?"
"Yes, we established that when I got here. I think they would have given our table up to someone else by now."
"Oh."
"Yes Josh. Anyway, you said *important*?"
"Huh? What are you..."
"Ordering flowers for Donna is important."
"She's been..."
"Josh!"
"Yeah, okay. I know it's my fault we missed our dinner reservations, but yes, this is something I think is important. I want to get it right. If I got the state flower for Kansas, which is... apparently the *sunflower*, instead of Wisconsin, Donna would find it way too funny and have to share my transgression with Sam and CJ."
"And Sam and CJ wouldn't find it funny you sending your secretary flowers when it wasn't her birthday or Secretaries Day?"
"Point one. No Sam and CJ, nor any of the Senior Staff for that matter, would find it strange. They all know that Donna is important to me. Secondly, for what must be the millionth time, Donna is my *Assistant* and not a secretary."
"And you want to get her flowers."
"Yes."
"For your anniversary?"
"Yes, haven't we been through this already?"
"The flowers from her home state like in that movie?"
"Yeah... Donna likes that movie."
"I'm surprised you have any knowledge of a movie like that. Not exactly the sort of film I would have figured Joshua Lyman to watch."
"Donna got it when she was staying with me after, you know... Rosslyn. She told me it was a movie about politics."
"Got caught out on that one."
"Yeah, but it's a nice movie."
"Donna stayed with you after Rosslyn?"
"Yeah, for a few weeks. I wasn't too good on doing a lota stuff for myself after I got out of the hospital. So she was there..."
"How is it that you remember the date she started working for you?"
"I'm... I guess I'm just that kinda guy. I remember things like that."
"You do?"
"Yeah."
"What date did *we* start going out?"
"Um... it was... hang on..."
"Come on J, admit it. You've got no idea."
"Hang on give me a chance. I wasn't expecting a pop quiz tonight."
"Speaking of which..."
"What now?"
"What day is it today?"
"Um... my calendar here on my desk says - Thursday?"
"Yes, but what date?"
"Um... it's not your birthday is it? Because I don't remember you telling me what date that was."
"No J, today is February 14th - it's Valentine's Day today."
"Oh, that's why there were people with flowers all around the office. Hey, someone got CJ flowers. I'll have to ask her about that tomor..."
"J."
"Yeah... um... you wanted *me* to get *you* flowers? This is also what dinner was about? C'mon Amy, you of all people? You wanted me to participate in an activity designed purely to help increase the massive profits of the greeting card companies and those who benefit from such a commercially money-making day?"
"I don't want any damn flowers, J."
"But you just..."
"It's not about the flowers, it's about everything."
"I'll get you some if you... Hey... found it! *Wood violets* are the state flower of Wisconsin!"
"Well hurrah for that!"
"Amy..."
"I don't want any flowers! Don't you listen to me? No, don't answer that... I know the answer already."
"What? Are you saying I don't listen to you? I gotta tell you Amy - that's not true. We've been talking here for at least ten minutes now."
"This isn't working."
"What isn't working?"
"Us."
"Us?"
"Yeah, this is not working for me."
"What? Why? Look I'll take you to dinner on Saturday and I'll even buy you flowers okay?"
"No."
"Why?"
"It's just not important enough to you. I'm not important enough to you."
"Yes it is. You're important."
"Just not enough."
"That's not true. Look I said sorry."
"No, you didn't actually... but this isn't about you being sorry. It's about... J, where do I fit in on the ladder?"
"Huh?"
"The ladder... the people who are important in your life. On the rungs, where do I fit in?"
"Amy, don't do this."
"Yes J - where?"
"I refuse to do this."
"Okay, I'll do it for you."
"Amy..."
"I fit in there somewhere after Donna. And really that could be almost anywhere, because basically Donna is firmly entrenched on that top rung. I think Donna is basically on top followed by perhaps your mother, Leo or the President, the Senior Staff and then perhaps I might slot in there somewhere between them and the Cook down in the Mess."
"Amy, you're just being ridiculous now."
"No, I think I'm making more sense than I have for a while."
"Amy, don't..."
"What? Do this? This wasn't going to work. It was never going to work. I'm going now. Look after yourself, okay."
"Look Amy, I'm..."
"Don't say you're sorry okay. Just don't. There's nothing to be sorry about. Just name your first born after me."
"I don't think Donna would appreciate... shit."
"Yeah, deep in denial there J. But it looks like you're beginning to climb out before you drown."
"Amy, I'm really..."
"Yeah, sorry... I know. Give her a call, go - hire a movie. Just don't mess up. I'd hate to think I'd let you go only to find you'd messed this up."
"Amy... thanks, you know..."
"Don't mention it, just - good luck."
"Thanks Amy."
"Bye J."
*
The end.