SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I can't believe I'm already writing this, but since I heard this song, this idea got stuck inside my head, so I had to do it, and since my other fic got such a positive response that made me really surprised (and shocked!). So I hope you all enjoy this one, and again, I don't have a beta (don't trust them) and I'm not a native speaker. So you don't need to talk about the grammar! I appreciate it but you don't need to say it!
again, enjoy the fic ^^
Song:
Fiction - B2ST
Fiction. It was all pure fiction. Everything inside his head. Every single talk, every single touch, smile and kiss. Was just pure fiction. And that hurt too much. That made Puck suffer so much. He couldn't believe he would feel like this just because of stupid dreams and pure imagination. When it started he actually found it fun and didn't cared about it at all, but then his feelings started to be more than imagination and useless. They became real and before Puck knew it, he was in love with Kurt. And it hurt. It hurt so bad. Why? Because the life he created, the whole life he created inside his head, the dreams he had were all fake. Nothing was real.
I still can't forget you
I still can't trust everything
Even today I can't send you away like this
The hundreds of kisses, the millions of touches were just Puck's imagination and they would never be real. Kurt was now dating that Blaine guy and it seemed Kurt's world was that guy from the private school. And every time Puck thought about it, every time he would think about how he wasn't Blaine and that Kurt didn't loved him, but the midget like Puck liked to call him. That made Puck feel like his whole world would end. He just wanted to be loved. For the first time in his life he wanted to be loved, but at the same time if it wasn't Kurt loving him, he didn't wanted to be loved at all. It had to be Kurt! It couldn't be anyone else.
"But it's all in my head..." Puck whispered as he looked down to the small notebook on his desk. It was all in his head. It was like he had created a whole story in his head. His own fairy tale. He was a badass but so what? He also deserved a fairy tale like everyone else. He deserved everything. He deserved to be happy. He stopped being the bad kid he was. He stopped humiliating his own mother and was now making her very proud. So why? Why couldn't he be happy next to Kurt? He wanted it so bad. All he wanted was to be loved by Kurt. He wanted those dreams to become real, he wanted those stories to be real. If he could write or rewrite fate, he would. He would make his wish come true.
I will rewrite it again, our story will not end
I will bury fact that reality is seeping into my skin for now
I rewrite it once again, the start beginning with you and I smiling happily
In case you will leave me, the background is a small room without an exit I kiss you as if there is nothing wrong
I can't leave your sweet presence
There is no such thing as an end for us
When he first dreamed about kissing the soprano he spent the whole day smiling. Smiling so much that even made the other Glee members annoyed. Puck didn't cared. It was the best dream of his life and he refused to forget it. All he couldn't think about was how he wanted to kiss Kurt for real, how he wanted to hold the soprano. Hold him so tightly that would take his breath away. Puck wanted to see Kurt flush like he usually did when he was happy! Puck wanted it all, but then, all came crashing down. The same day he had that dream, the dream that made him realize how much he needed Kurt, he found out the soprano was dating.
It was more painful than anything anyone could imagine. He didn't heard it from anyone. He saw it. Finn and Kurt were brothers now right? So that meant Puck would see Kurt every time he went to the house to hang out with his fellow jock. He had made up his mind that day to confess, tell the soprano how he felt, but when he opened the door to Kurt's room, his whole body froze and he could swear he felt tears running down his face. Kurt...His Kurt, was kissing Blaine. He was kissing that guy the way Puck always imagined, holding Blaine the same way Puck dreamed he would be held by the soprano. It should be him instead of that midget. It should be him! But no...He should have known better. All those things he lived, were just dreams, it was pure imagination.
Like this again (Fiction in Fiction)
I can't forget you (Fiction in Fiction)
I am writing the story that will never end in my heart I will hold on to you (Fiction in Fiction)
I won't let you go (Fiction in Fiction in Fiction)
Even today, I'm in the story of you and I that hasn't ended still, in Fiction
"I'm pathetic..." Puck whispered to himself as he continued reading his precious notebook. His notebook was his most precious possession in the whole world. He would write his songs there, he would write his deepest thoughts and above all things, he would write everything he dreamed about Kurt. How it felt to touch his skin, how it felt to being able to hear that beautiful voice over and over again and above all things, he wanted to see that smile shine just for him. He wanted it so much he was sure he was about to die if he continued wishing it so bad.
He continued looking to his notebook and saw a small sketch of Kurt's profile. He wasn't that good at drawing, but he had to admit it came much better than he expected. He drew it when he was in one of those horrible days. He was missing Kurt so much that day he didn't resisted and started drawing. He was incredibly lucky no one noticed what he was doing. Kurt shouldn't be on that stupid private school. Kurt should be there with them, singing and above all things, Kurt should be there with him. He should forget all about Blaine and be with him.
He continued reading the stupid stories he wrote on that notebook. It wasn't in his character to do something like that, but since that first dream, he couldn't be the same Noah Puckerman he usually was. He wasn't being the sex shark anymore. He gave no attention to the Cheerios or to the MILF's. Just thinking about them made Puck feel grossed out and think how in the world he was capable of doing such a thing. Was he so desperate for attention that he did that just to have people noticing him? But...those stories made him so happy. Even if it was just for moments, it made him happy because for moments, for minutes, Kurt would be his and would love him back with the same passion.
Right now, there are only happy stories here
The very happy stories of just the two of us (Different from reality)
Is written here, it's slowly filling up I run towards you and embrace you
I can't never let you go from my embrace (I can't)
There is no such thing as an end for us
What would Puck give to have Kurt run into his arms. Say he didn't cared about Blaine, that it was all a mistake and that in reality he loved and always did loved Puck with all his heart. "Stories...stupid stories I created inside my head!" He was so frustrated. Now more than ever. And no one noticed how he was. He was being completely depressed in school, he wouldn't even come up with his usual comments to make people around him uncomfortable. He would go to school with his mouth closed and would just open it to eat.
Even with the football practices he was acting like a ghost. Finn even asked him if he was sick. Puck assured him everything was alright. After all, what could he say? "Nah, I'm alright. I'm just in love with your brother and since he's dating another guy I'm going emo." He couldn't say that. He was sure Finn would have the biggest freak out on earth and would say some unpleasant things, even thought Puck was sure he wouldn't really mean them.
One time Puck got a really good scare. He had one more dream about Kurt and when he woke up he could swear he had seen the younger one sleeping peacefully, with his flawless skin a little flushed and the most innocent look in his face. But as soon Puck rubbed his eyes, he saw it was all his imagination and nothing else. After that moment, the jock was sure he was going insane and was about to have some sort of brain problem.
I will say this again, one more time
Right now you are next to me
I'm believing like that I'm the writer who lost his purpose
The end of this novel, how am I supposed to write it I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I keep writing these 3 words (Everything is Fiction) Setting the warn out pen on the old paper strained in tears (Everything is Fiction)
This story can't be happy or sad
What was Puck suppose to do. All the memories he kept replaying inside his head, all the touches and kisses, all of those sweet words, were just stupid dreams, stupid plots he created inside his head and now they were taking over him. He wanted to hold on to those memories and believe the were real, at least once. He wanted to believe that he and Kurt had something, at least for a while. "But would I be happy? Of course not." Puck said and continued touching the worn out pages. He lost count of how many times he had read everything he wrote, he lost count of how many times he started smiling when he read those things involving him and the soprano. He lost count of how many times he cried at night knowing that the soprano belonged to someone else that wasn't him. "I would make you so much happier...I would do anything for you and I would always be there."
Puck whispered while looking to a small picture he had from the Glee members, his eyes focusing on Kurt. He couldn't believe he was acting the way he was. This wasn't the Noah Puckerman he knew! This was some guy who had no self love. A guy who acted emo about the most stupid thing in the world. So Kurt didn't loved him! Big deal! He shouldn't care right? He wasn't Finn for god's sake. He wasn't a girl! He was the sex shark, he was the the biggest stud that town has ever seen! "That's right...I was!" He thought and he continued reading the small notes he wrote. He once was all those things, but now he was a guy who was completely in love with Kurt and beyond that. He was living on that dream world he created. That world here he was happy, incredibly happy but just for mere seconds. What should he do? What was he suppose to do? "I've to do something before I go crazy."
Could he tell Finn? Quinn? Mercedes? Would they help him or would they think he just lost it once and for all and would just make fun of him? What was he suppose to do? Puck was started to get desperate. He couldn't do anything. He wasn't someone Kurt would fall for. He was just a guy. A guy Kurt hated and didn't cared about at him. It was all in his head. He was just imagining everything. But why couldn't those feelings be imagination as well? Why did they had to be real? It was so painful. Puck looked to the notebook and just read the last lines he wrote. They were simple, but they said everything and they were more painful than any insult in the world. "It's all fiction..."