I fell asleep after watching Relics (series 6 methinks) and this story is how my dream went afterwards. I guess this could be a missing scene from the episode if you want it to be =)

Disclaimer: If I own Star Trek then you are the Captain of the starship I'm serving on. In that case, I'd better get up to the bridge - my shift starts in two minutes!

A Tad Tipsy

"Captain, are you drunk?"

Picard stopped spinning in his chair and turned to answer his first officer.

"No, Number One, I am not."

Riker raised a knowing eyebrow at him and Picard gave up quickly.

"Oh OK, I may be a tad tipsy, but it takes more than a couple of glasses of whiskey to get me drunk, Will!"

Riker grinned. "Whiskey, Sir?"

"Yes," Picard agreed with a nod "I was on the bridge drinking to old times with Captain Scott – now him, Will, he was drunk."

Riker frowned slightly. "But I've been on the bridge for a while now – I'm sure I would have seen two drunk Starfleet captains running around."

"I am not drunk!" he exclaimed loudly before settling down as if nothing had happened. "We were in the holodeck on the bridge of Captain Scott's Enterprise."

"Ah, I see, and how many drinks did you have after you got back from the holodeck?"

"Not that many, Will, why are you so interested?"

Riker scratched his beard and looked at Picard with an amused smile. "Because it's my duty to look after your welfare, sir, and to tell you when you're wearing your uniform backwards."

Picard looked down at himself to see the back of his shirt at the front of his body – not where it was supposed to be.

"Ah, it seems I had more to drink than I thought."

"Definitely."

"I suppose I'd better call sickbay and get myself, what's the word?" he thought for a moment "ah yes, un-drunk."

Riker chuckled to himself and nodded as Picard hit his comm badge.

"Picard to Crusher."

"Yes Captain?"

"Beverly, I'm wearing my uniform backwards, it appears that I may need a hypospray of some sort."

"Of course, Captain, I'll be right there." She replied with a chuckle.

Picard turned back to Riker, who was giving him odd looks.

"What?"

"Nothing, Sir, nothing at all."