Resolution (Reborn! - Gokudera, Kyoko, Tsunayoshi, PG13)
Disclaimer: Katekyo Hitman Reborn! is (c) to Akira Amano.
Gokudera didn't trust nor enjoy the silence.
Standing just outside the entrance to Sawada Mansion, he uncomfortably scanned the courtyard and outlying gardens. Nothing caught his eye, which bothered him enough to take a few steps forward for a closer view. Still nothing. He was a vigilant guardian, all of the guardians held this quality, but he more so than the others. He'd always considered himself the right hand of the boss, but he had been told he took it a little to the extreme - which was probably true. And taking on a little more than necessary caution, pleased him.
Mildly satisfied with the silence he ignored his better judgment to leave the rest to the lower-skilled outside guards and reentered the mansion. He'd just have to settle with making rounds inside. An idea which made his heart ache.
He very silently walked the dimly lit halls, opening rooms and surveying for any trouble. Over half of the residents lay sound asleep, unaware of his inspecting eyes. Sighing long-windedly, he rounded another corner, checked another set of rooms, and lastly stopped at the beginning of a long hall. He had skipped over it several times. But as it turned out, this was the last of the hallways in the large house to check. His reasons intertwined with the reasons he'd preferred outside guard duty than inside.
Here in this mansion lived the most important figure in his youth all the way to his tender adult life. Tsunayoshi the head of Vongola. He'd been completely smitten with the young lad since the day he met him. And since then his reverence transformed into a desperate love. He'd been watching the young boy grow through struggle after struggle, his feelings becoming stronger and stronger. And after each time Tsuna returned, beaten and bloody, but smiling so serenely, he'd felt an unknown emotion build in the pit of his stomach.
Through unconventional methods and sorted advice from those around him, he'd come to solve the puzzling feeling. It was love in its most forbidden form. The new profound sense had frightened him to the point where he made an attempt to stay as far away as possible from Tsuna. He'd succeeded, in a way. He even allowed Takeshi, the self-proclaimed rival of his youthful days, to take over being right hand man to the boss in his stead.
Tsunayoshi, in immediate action to not liking this "separation", called him out on his behavior. And with much persistence from Tsuna, Gokudera revealed his reason. He'd been completely taken back when the night of confession turned mutual. And even more in stupor when the next morning as they dressed, Tsuna asked if they could meet the next night.
Three years had passed since that fateful night and Gokudera could still not fathom why Tsuna would risk all that he loved for him. Tsuna had told him he loved him more than anyone. This was said in a moment of passion and at the time it left Gokudera floored with the meaning of those words. But when the next day rolled around, and Gokudera's head cleared, a disagreeable feeling settled in his stomach.
Gokudera didn't doubt Tsuna's love for him, but more than anyone? No, this wasn't true. Inside the Vongola mansion lived the real person whom Tsuna truly gave his heart too. This he did not doubt.
Tsuna's wife lay beyond the third door on the right in the hallway he still stood before. And her name was Kyoko Sawada. Wife to a mafia boss, mother to his children, and friend. Respected and adored by all, including her husband, it was she who'd given him such a strong dislike to inside guard duty.
Since "hooking up" with Tsuna, Gokudera had made another point to stay away from, this time, Kyoko. This was difficult to do since not only did they live in the same house, but Kyoko was partied to meetings, and her children seemed to revere him. On many occasions they'd all three come seeking his attention – jumping in his arms, climbing onto his back. And Kyoko would stand watching, a loving smile gracing her features.
This struck Gokudera painfully to the depths of his heart. He felt no shame in loving Tsuna, only confusion on why he was loved back. He'd even felt no disgust in falling in love with a man. The pain came from knowing the man Kyoko loved was the same man he loved and loved them both back.
He cringed, balling his fist inside his pants pockets. The prospect of running into Kyoko was slim. She was more than likely already tucked in bed, undoubtedly her children curled beside her. This brought a perfunctory but soft smile to Gokudera's lips, and he weighed the options and pressed down the hall. He skipped her room and after satisfied nothing was amiss in the four other rooms he returned to hers and very silently opened the door to a sliver.
The nightlight plugged into beside the door was his guide to searching the bedroom for its occupants. The room was large and contained mahogany furniture and stuffed animals scattered across the carpet. In the center was the bed where he found three sleeping faces tangled in red satin sheets, but no Kyoko.
Gokudera panicked instantaneously. He closed the door softly but with purpose. Kyoko wasn't in bed with her children. It was nearly three in the morning; she was a responsible and loving mother, she wouldn't abandon her children in the middle of the night. So where was she?
Gokudera was beyond panic and when he searched all the places Kyoko could have been he found empty silent rooms instead. The adjacent room, used for her children's piano lessons: nothing. The kitchen where she enjoyed having tea while the family chef strutted his skills: nothing. The pool where she swam to cool her head: nothing. The living room, training hall, outside terrace, even the bathroom resulted no Kyoko. He almost considered her being outside, but despite Kyoko's stubborn nature she'd never ignore the advice of her husband and the guardians and venture outside at night alone. And besides, no matter how low in skills the guards were outside (according to Gokudera's high standards), they'd inform him if she had adventured there.
He stood, nearly out of breath in an intersection of three sets of halls. he cursed the expanse of the home. 'Where are you, Kyoko.' Like God answering him he heard the subdued rustle from just behind him. The conference/meeting room. He sprang into action and burst open the unlocked door.
And there she sat, holding a piece of paper, with more strewn across the large table. He'd startled her for she nearly choked on the beverage sloshing about in her mouth.
"Goku-kun, is something the matter?" She asked, placing her cup down before she spilled it from the excitement of Gokudera abruptly spilling in.
He sighed in relief. "No, I just panicked when you weren't in your room." He stepped closer, curious to see what she was reading. It looked like plans for a development and he thought he saw the title "Italy's Sunniest Home" as a header.
"Oh," she chuckled, innocently. "I'm sorry. I just couldn't sleep and decided to get a little work done before Tsu-kun comes home."
Her soft smile warmed his heart and the idea of leaving her to her thoughts tempted him to bid her a farewell. But knowing the stubborn woman for over ten years, he knew she wouldn't allow him to just rudely barge in and walk out just like that. So he reluctantly stayed. He was overjoyed he had found her safe and sound, he could at least stay a bit longer out of courteous.
"Yeah." He said pathetically. The conversation was dead before it even started. Gokudera just couldn't find any ground to interact with Kyoko since he and Tsuna had began having an affair. It was easier before he'd discovered his feelings. They weren't the closest of friends but he'd comforted her when her brother had been injured, and she returned the comfort when he'd been injured himself. She'd fixed his meals, cleaned his clothes – sewing them as well - and supported him during battles. He'd appreciated it, though he never showed it much.
And now, years later, he was sleeping with her husband and couldn't find any words to lay some ground work between them. Truthfully, there were no words to comfort her, but he struggled anyway. He didn't wish to cause her pain. She was the kindest most beautiful soul – outside of Tsuna – he knew. Unbeknownst to her, but known to all the guardians and members of the Vongola Family, she was the glue that kept Tsuna intact. She was more keen than most gave her credit for. She'd spot a troubled look from across the table and nine times out of ten hit the nail on the head on what was causing the look. She truly was the perfect woman.
"Goku-kun, what's the matter?"
Her soft voice shook him from his pyramid of thoughts. He'd forgotten he was standing in a room alone with the object of his admiration."Huh? Oh, its nothing." He gave her a feeble smile. "Shouldn't you be getting some sleep? Tsu- I mean the boss will be home in a few hours." He glanced uninterestedly at the clock. Anywhere besides her eyes.
But she was vexing. He looked back and she was staring at him. He was good in the way of reading others, with the exceptions of Hibari and Tsuna, but the look Kyoko was giving him was unreadable. No, it was expressionless. Unlike her. Her mouth seemed almost non-existent. Her eyes, the color of honey-brown glowed slightly with a fiercer edge than her stubbornness brought. She almost looked as if she was judging him. It certainly felt that way when she leaned back in her chair and placed her hands on her elevated knee.
'What was going through her mind?' Gokudera was more than a little concerned. His thoughts began to cause a wave of anxiousness throughout his body, evident in the way his fist balled at his side. Did she know of the affair? One of the Sawada children had actually caught them together. They'd lied, telling her they were just practicing wrestling moves and like all children she merrily skipped away. Had that child gone straight to her mother? Did she divulge the lie without thought or care during a drawing session? The child believed the lie because she didn't know any better, but Kyoko would easily decipher the lie into its unvarnished truth.
And then what would happen? He'd played the scenario over and over in his head of Tsuna kneeling before his wife, probably holding her hands because she'd be shaking so badly, and telling her that he had had an affair. And not with just some girl, but with a man and with Gokudera. He could almost feel the sting on his cheek after her hand would swipe across it. The hateful look, tears, and the fading image of her leaving them.
She would be shattered. And all because of his and Tsuna's love for one another.
"Goku-kun." He gulped at the tone. No trace of the sweet Kyoko was found in her speaking his name. Replaced was a firm, steady voice laced with something he dreaded. "I'm actually glad you came to find me. We never seem to be alone. I've been receiving complaints from the staff that you've been making quite a racket late in the night."
He stood confused. He looked down at the table and then back up into her eyes. "I'm not sure I follow." He was scared of the response, so much so that he was formulating delicate contrivances to evade the subject matter.
She stared for a moment making him sweat inside his T-shirt and black jeans. She began, "The noise you and my husband have been making."
"..." He was sure his heart skipped three beats. He froze stiff, his mouth slightly open to release a stunned gasp. She knew. And she looked unabashed by it. How long has she known? If for a while, why hadn't she accosted them?
"K-Kyoko... I-I," he stopped. Looking down at the table he searched for an answer amongst the papers. "I can explain." Truth be told, he couldn't. He still couldn't wrap his head around the answer himself, and certainly couldn't dish out another lie to appease Kyoko and draw fire away from himself and Tsuna.
But Kyoko beat him. "I'm sure you can, Goku-kun. But there is no need. I'm already aware of the reason behind your actions, as well... as my husbands." He watched the first crack in her stone facade fall. Her tone cracked and he finally saw the trembling of her lips. She was falling apart right in front of his eyes. Each piece of her life that she'd so painstakingly created and sustained was chipping away. And he was the primary cause of it. His love for Tsuna had caused the quiver in her chin to increase and her shoulders to begin shuddering.
"Kyoko..." He stretched a shaky hand out towards her, but instead of reaching her it balled and moved back to his side. "I'm sorry. I didn't... I didn't mean to do this to you and your children. I swear to you I never meant to hurt you."
"I know that, Goku-kun." She says through the tears that have made their way down to her lips. "Underneath that tough exterior you're a kind person who'd never hurt someone he loved." She wiped the tears away and exhaled deeply, slowly regaining herself. If he wasn't so much of a coward he'd be kneeling before her to comfort the grieving woman. But she'd just deflected his thoughts of himself with the most unselfish compliment. He couldn't go over to her. He couldn't soil her with his filth. No matter how badly he wanted to hold her against him.
"But Goku-kun, you have hurt me. More deeply than you'll ever know. You've become the sharpest weapon in anyone's arsenal and have pierced through my heart"
He freely cried. Hearing the truth spoken from her mouth, the crushing guilt of his forbidden love finally hit him fully. He has plain and simply murdered Kyoko Sawada. And no amount of searching for a way to rectify this will change. He loves Tsuna. He loves Kyoko and her children. But he loves Tsuna.
"I'm going to be okay." She places a hand against her chest and smiles through what he knows is ever crushing pain. "I'd like to be alone, if it's all right. Tsuna will be home in just a few moments. I'd like to fix this ghastly face of mine before he returns to us."
He stared, unwilling to move himself from her presence. He watched as she frenziedly wiped the remaining tears from her cheeks and swallowed down sobs. He needed to leave her be, no matter how much his better judgment protested against that.
"Of course. Anything." He gave a terse nod and left the room in silence.
Kyoko remained seated in her chair, her face ruined from tears, she glanced up at the hanging clock.. Her husband would be returning in an hour and she needed to prepare. But her body was still reeling from the encounter with Gokudera. When he had first burst into the room she'd been momentarily surprised, but that surprise quickly turned into a mission of sorts. She knew the truth of what was going on in her house. She wasn't blind to the fact her husband loved Gokudera and certainly believed her children when one day one of them told her that daddy and uncle Gokudera were practicing moves with their shirts off underneath the sheets. So when he appeared before her, alone, she applied herself wholeheartedly in confronting him.
She hadn't thought it all through, though. The flash of sheer pain crossing Gokudera's face and authentic guilt watering his eyes caused the forgiveness to flood her. But he had betrayed her. They both had. They started something they both knew would cause only anguish in the end. And that was unforgivable. She couldn't blame them for loving on another, but they had butchered the happy, secure life of three innocent children.
She swallowed and wiped the last tear from her red eyes away. She stood up and started to the bathroom. She'd straighten herself, talk to her husband, and then grab her children for a "vacation" to aunt Haru's house.
In approximately fifty-four minutes she would welcome her husband home for the last time.