Good day. Just a couple of things I need to say before I get the ball rolling. First, I'm not new to fanfiction, but I am new to Naruto fanfiction (although I have read a few). Secondly, and this is quite important: I read the manga and watch the English DUB.
Collective gasp!
So if Naruto believes it, dang it, he believes it. As the summary says, my self-insert is an Anti-Sue, the opposite of a Mary-Sue, whose sole purpose is to be so annoying that every character she interacts with finds it virtually impossible not to kill her. In short, she's trying to die. With that said, let's get started!
I don't own Naruto or any of its characters.
Execution: with Shikamaru
It took Phen-chan a couple of hours to navigate through these thick forests, but with her inhuman perseverance, she was able to find her first target. Shikamaru was standing in one of the few clearings of the forest, hardly moving as he stared at the sky. Upon noticing him, Phen-chan gave an awful shriek and went barreling toward him. Shikamaru, although a little startled, chose to ignore this, hoping she would just pass him by. Unfortunately, this wouldn't be the case.
"Hey! Hey you!" Phen-chan screamed, waving her arms wildly. Shikamaru squeezed his eyes shut, as if bracing for impact. "Hey!" She tapped him on his right shoulder. He turned in that direction as she moved to the left. "Over here, buddy! I have something to tell you!" She was waving right in his face now.
"…What is it?" Shikamaru cautioned after a few tense moments.
"Something huge! Gigantic! Um, really big!" Phen-chan explained, almost bouncing off the trees.
"Okay…"
"You're never going to believe it!" she continued.
"Try me."
"It's amazing! Incredible!"
"Right…"
"It pertains to you!"
"So what is it?"
"It's so-"
"Out with it!" Shikamaru found himself screaming. Phen-chan looked at him curiously. He waited a moment before he did something he would regret. "Good heavens, you give 'troublesome' a whole new meaning."
"You have no idea," she said quietly, then picked back up her overzealous delivery of a message. "But anyway, there's something really-"
"Please, just tell me what it is," Shikamaru interrupted quickly.
Phen-chan now looked somewhat serious. She only stared for a few seconds, then said, "What in blazes are you staring at?"
Shikamaru scowled, angry beyond words. "I really want to kill you right now," he said finally.
"Do you?" Phen-chan replied, "Well, okay. But…" she added, piping up again, "If you don't, I'll be so grateful that I'll hang out with you and follow you around forever and ever and-" She was silenced with a kunai to the heart.
Shikamaru waited for her to fall to the ground in a lifeless heap before removing his kunai and looking at a watch. He sucked his teeth upon noticing the time. "Just great. I've done more before 3 p.m. than I intended to do all day." He stalked off to find a better place to gaze at the clouds.
Ha ha! Ho ho! So how was it? I'm not expecting a lot of reviews, but if you feel compelled, do it! I personally can't stand regular self-inserts, which is why mine is so distorted and meant to die—several times. She'll be killed by most of the main characters at least once. Thanks for reading!
Oh! And I have some IY fics, if you're interested!