Disclaimer: Not mine, Bellisario's
Visit to Grams
A tad too late, as usually, Harm drove his car unto the parking lot from JAG headquarters. He let his gaze roam the cars already sitting there and smiled. Mac's wasn't there; it seemed that she was late, too.
When he entered the bullpen his gaze slit over the TV-screens high on the wall. As always ZZN was on. The anchorman announced an accident at the beltway of Washington and warned for graphic images. This made him watch a bit longer.
Earlier that morning there had been a dense fog in several areas in the region. In that fog several cars had collided, some caught fire and in the end the accident involved over two dozen cars. There were several victims, some dead, some very seriously injured. The Beltway would stay closed for another couple of hours.
Suddenly Harm froze. Between the burned and still smouldering car wrecks he noticed a familiar looking car, a red corvette. And not just the corvette, inside was a human figure, covered in foam, clearly deceased, died a horrible death in the flames. Harm felt the blood drain from his head. 'Mac", was the only thing he could think of.
Mac had been early to work. To be fair, she was early almost everyday, this in contrast to her partner who was always a little late. But it surprised her how early she had been today, considering she had to take a cab since her car was in the garage. And considering the weather, it had been foggy, a fog which seemed to dense every hour.
After spending almost an hour in the library she decided to go to the kitchen and pour herself a cup of coffee.
On her way she met her friend Lieutenant Harriet Sims and the two women walked together, chatting about the latest antics of Harriet's son and Mac's godson Little AJ.
"Good morning, Harm," she greeted her partner, who still stood motionlessly in the middle of the bullpen. "Growing roots there?"
He turned like being stung and looked at her as if he saw a ghost, then opened his mouth to say something but only managed to utter some unarticulated noises. He reached out his hand as to touch Mac, then dropped it again before it reached its goal. Both of the women looked at him bewildered. Then he shook his head, turned and disappeared in his office, closing the door behind him, leaving Mac with her mouth open.
Harriet was the first to regain her senses. "What happened?"
Mac shook her head. "I don't know but I'm going to find out."
She was flabbergasted by his behaviour but before she could follow him Bud approached her and her attention was distracted for a moment. When she looked again to Harm's office, the blinds were closed.
Although she had made a mental note to ask Harm about his odd behaviour that morning, she didn't have a chance. Either he or she was occupied in court, in a meeting or busy interrogating a suspect or a possible witness.
Now it was the end of the afternoon and Mac stood in Harm's doorframe looking at him. Under his firm posture he looked exhausted, she thought. As was she. The previous weeks had been draining, a couple of high-profile cases which caused them to work long hours and even in the weekends. They both could do with a quiet weekend to unwind.
When he looked up she smiled and asked "hey, can you give me a ride home later on? I just got the message my car isn't ready before Monday."
Before he could answer they were interrupted by the voice of petty officer Tiner "Ma'am, Sir, the Admiral likes to see you both in his office."
Harm getting to his feet they exchanged a glance, both not expressing the same fear 'please not another difficult case.'
Entering the Admiral's office they were ordered an 'at ease', immediately followed by 'take a seat'.
When they were seated, the Admiral started "How are things going"?
"I just finished all my cases this afternoon, Sir," Mac said.
"I'm almost there, Sir," Harm added, "and the ruling in the Kidman-case will be on Tuesday."
"Good. I got word from the Pentagon this afternoon. They are very pleased with the way you two handled the Romort-case. He will be prosecuted but luckily that's out of our hands."
Mac and Harm nodded. Their CO could see the gratitude for that as well as the well-disguised tiredness in their features.
"The two of you look tired," the Admiral continued. "Since we don't have any major cases at our hands now, I'm giving you the day off on Monday. Take some rest. That will be all. Unless, that is, if the commander has something to share …" thus indicating that Harm's odd behaviour earlier that day hadn't gone by unnoticed by his CO.
Harm shook his head "No Sir."
"Very well then. Dismissed." Though the look Chegwidden pointed at Mac clearly let her know it was now her job to find out.
Out of the office, Mac looked at Harm. "You're almost ready?"
He nodded. "Just need another 30-40 minutes."
"Ok, will be back by then," and with those words Mac disappeared into her own office to make sure it was all neat and nice for the weekend.
Almost an hour later they drove out of the parking lot.
"Any plans for the weekend, Harm?" Mac asked.
"No, not really, doing some grocery shopping and just relax. As a matter of fact, I originally planned to go to the supermarket on my way back home, since I have hardly anything left in the fridge. Would you mind if … "
She already shook her head. "Not at all. I could use some refill of the fridge myself. Last weeks have been so busy I hardly had time to shop. Or do something else in the house."
He smiled. "What about doing our shopping, rent a movie and go to my place? I can cook for us and we'll just hang out. I'll drive you home later this evening."
She nodded and placed her hand on his. "Sounds good. But let's make it a pizza; you are tired too."
"You're not fed up with take-outs yet?"
She chuckled. "Maybe, but I don't want you to make too much fuzz now. You can cook for me another time."
He smiled and handed her his cell phone. "You're right."
As soon as they entered his loft, Harm headed to his bedroom to change, while Mac placed the groceries into the fridge, including her own to keep them from going bad.
When Harm returned he had a bag in his hands. "Mac, you forgot your overnight bag a couple of weeks ago. I washed and repacked so if you want to change too, while I set the table and wait for the pizza to be delivered?"
Mac nodded gratefully and disappeared in the bedroom, knowing she would feel much better in civvies. "Mind if I take a quick shower?" she yelled, already half undressed.
'No, be my guest. Towels are in the bathroom cupboard." When he heard the bathroom door slam, Harm let his thoughts wander for a moment. Although he was grateful for the way they managed to get their friendship back after the two years of her relationship with Mic 'Bug-me' Brumby and her stay and their fight at the SS Guadalcanal, he still wanted more. He wanted love, being together, an engagement and ultimately marriage. He had no trouble anymore to admit that to himself, but telling her he wanted to take their relationship to the next level was a different story. And what was to become of their friendship if she wasn't ready for it?
The pizza boy was just leaving when Mac emerged from the bathroom. Quickly they sat down and began to savour their pizza. His first slice gone, Harm hit the button on his answering machine to check on his messages en was gladly surprised to hear the voice of his grandmother.
"Harmon, my boy, how are you? You sounded so tired last time. And how's Mac? Too bad she couldn't have dinner with us the last time I visited you. Any change of seeing you in the near future? Anyway, call me back, yeah?"
He looked up to see the questioning and slightly hurt eyes of his friend. "Couldn't have dinner with us?" she asked, not able to ban the disappointment from her voice.
He nodded. "Two months ago, when Grams was visiting me, she asked me to invite you for the dinner she was buying me. You were TAD by then but you said you would be home for the weekend. I phoned you, I was going to ask you and that was when you told me you would be out of town for at least one more week. The Askan-case, remember. You sounded so depressed. I didn't want to make you feel even worse by inviting you for something I knew by then you wouldn't be able to attend." His eyes pleaded for her understanding.
To his relief she smiled. She vividly remembered the Askan-case as one of the most frustrating and boring cases of her career. And indeed, him asking her for a dinner she wasn't able to attend would have made her feel even more miserable.
"You should visit her this weekend," she suddenly said, in spite her self. Although she knew a trip to his grandmother would do him good, she so had hoped to spend some time with him over the weekend, especially since the admiral had given them an extra day off.
Unknown to her his thoughts ran the same path. He would love to spend a couple of days on the old farm, breathe the fresh air and chat with his grandmother. But on the other hand, it was the first opportunity in weeks he had to really spend time with Mac. An idea sparked his mind.
"Why don't you come with me? We can take Sarah, fly there tomorrow morning, fly back Monday afternoon. Grams would love to have you, too."
Mac's eyes lit up, could she do that? Then she sobered. "Harm, are you sure? I mean, it's a bit of an ambush on your grandmother, isn't it? And the extra work"
He laughed out loud. "Don't worry, Mac. Grams always keeps at least two guestrooms in order just in case and she always cooks to feed the whole street. Believe me, she will be thrilled."
With that he picked up the receiver, set the telephone on speaker mode and pressed a speed button. A moment later the voice of an elderly lady piped up. "Harm, how are you!"
"Hi Grams. I'm fine, tired but fine. And so is Mac."
"You had a busy time, huh?"
"Yeah, but now the cases we were working on are closed or waiting for ruling. And guess what, the Admiral even gave us an extra personal day on Monday so I was thinking … what about us coming over for the weekend?"
This was met by a cheer of joy and then the curious question "You said us? You mean…?"
Harm chuckled. "I'm trying to convince Mac to come with me, but she's afraid it will be too much of a burden to you."
"That silly girl! Is she there? Give her to me!"
Harm handed the receiver to Mac, who started with "Good evening, Mrs. Rabb…." but was quickly overruled by the elderly women. "First of all, I'm Grams, not Mrs. Rabb. And secondly, what nonsense is that about being a burden? Surely my grandson told you I always keep the guestrooms ready for use and I love cooking. You're coming, I won't take no for an answer, do you understand!" At those last words her voice raised till she was all but yelling.
Mac had to bite back a laugh and gave the only answer possible "I love to come, Grams."
"Good, that is settled. Now give me back my grandson, please."
When Harm had the receiver again she went on "What time will you arrive?"
"Guess it will be about noon, Grams, if that's ok with you."
" Good, I'll meet you at the airstrip. I'll be in the village anyway. We have a fair tomorrow afternoon, not that big but nice enough. If you like, we can go there."
After that they said their goodbyes and Herm dropped the receiver.
"So, did I say too much?"
They had a quiet evening, sitting on the couch with their feet on the coffee table, drinking tea and watching the movie. Despite that Mac couldn't help to shiver once in a while. The weather had taken a turn for the worse, it was raining heavily and ever so often the thunder rumbled. Mac hated thunderstorms and being the thought-as-nails Marine she was she as much hated to admit her fear of it.
After the movie was over Harm rose, brought the dirty cups to the kitchen and placed them in the dishwasher. Then he looked at Mac. "Do you want me to drive you home now?" He arched an eyebrow. Mac knew he was aware of her uneasiness with thunderstorms. "As you have an overnight bag, you also could stay the night. We can drive by your apartment tomorrow morning so you can pack a bag. I have to pick you up anyway," he continued.
A flash and a loud clap made her make up her mind quickly. "If you don't mind, I'll stay."
He smiled. "Well, you go and prepare for the night. I'll have a quick look at the weather channel to check on the forecasts for tomorrow."
When she came back she was surprised to see the TV still on and him standing motionlessly staring at it.
"Harm," she said. He didn't react, his eyes still glued to the screen, looking at what seemed to be a newsflash about a terrible accident.
"Harm", she tried again to get his attention. In vain. She took the remote out of his hands and pushed the button. The screen went black but that still didn't make him move.
Now she started to get concerned. Gently she ushered him to a chair, forced him to sit down, then sat herself on the armchair, her arm around his shoulder.
"Harm, what happened?"
At last he reacted, releasing the air he had hold for a while. To her surprise he turned towards her, resting his head against her shoulder but still saying nothing. She decided to let him take his time. After what seemed an eternity, he lifted his head.
"It was really nothing; I feel so stupid …" he started and made an attempt to stand up.
"For something what was 'really nothing', it left you pretty shaken," she interrupted pulling him back into the chair, "Harm please, tell me."
He reluctantly obeyed. "This morning when I came in, I saw the TV-screens. There was that chain collision on the beltway, this morning in the fog. About thirty cars involved, a fire, a couple of casualties, lots of injured people. I hadn't seen you yet, hadn't seen your car in the parkway. I forgot it was in the garage. And there was that image of a red sport car, a corvette covered in foam, a burned body in it…." He clenched his teeth to control his emotions. "I … I thought … I wanted to scream ... I didn't understand …"
During his words Mac had tightened her grip on his shoulders. Now his odd behaviour of this morning made sense. She all too vividly remembered how she felt when he made his plunge in the Atlantic a couple of months before, how she would have felt if she had lost him for ever.
She too took a deep breath. "Harm, it's not stupid." She cupped his yaw, prodding him to look at her. "If it had been me seeing what I thought was your car with your burned body in it …" she shuddered. "It is not stupid," she repeated lamely.
For a moment they sat still. Then he rose, pulled her up too and into his arms, burying his face in her hair. "No, it wasn't stupid," he agreed after a while, taking another deep breath. After a last gentle squeeze he let go of her. "Now you take the bedroom and I get a blanket and a pillow and sleep on the couch."
She shook her head. "No, the couch is more my size. Your back will be broken by tomorrow. And besides that, if you are going to fly me to Pennsylvania, I want you well rested."
He sputtered "I'm not going to let you take the couch, Mac."
"Then we can both sleep in the bed." And before he could make another statement, she placed her hand firmly on his lips. "I trust you."
She knew what time it was – her inner clock never failing her – before she realised what woke her up. But then she heard it again, a low moaning, like someone being in pain. She switched on the little light on the nightstand and turned towards Harm. He was clearly in the grip of a nightmare, his eyes wide open but seeing nothing, his face and even his hair damp with sweat, his body rigid. Another moan escaped his lips.
She carefully touched his shoulder to wake him up. It didn't work so she took a grip and shook him gently. "Harm, Harm, wake up. You're having a nightmare."
That seemed to have the wanted result. It took him a while but slowly he started to wake up, his body relaxing, his eyes blinking till he was able to focus again.
"Mac?" he said with a drowsy voice, trying to sit up and make sense of his surroundings.
"Yes," she whispered back, "ssshhh, it's alright. I'm here. I'm right here. You're in your own bed, you had a nightmare."
He let himself fall back into his pillow.
Mac slipped out of the bed, headed to the bathroom and returned with a glass of water and a damp washcloth. Tenderly she wiped his sweaty face, then handed him the glass. He greedily gulped the cold liquid.
"What was your dream about?"
He shrugged, clearly not eager to speak about it but then decided to talk "about today, the chain collision, the fire … I was there, Mac, standing there, I saw it all, saw the flames reaching your car, heard your screams. And I couldn't move, like I was nailed to the ground. I couldn't help you; I only could watch you die." He took a deep breathe and shook his head to get rid of the images.
She took his hands, rubbed his cold fingers. "It was just a bad dream. I'm alright."
He nodded wearily "Yeah", then stepped out of the bed and went to the bathroom. Mac slipped back under the blankets and heard him use the toilet, then wash his hands and face. When he came back, his hair damp and tousled, she held the blanket up for him. After he had lain down she hesitated for a brief moment, then snuggled in and laid her head on his chest. Immediately he wrapped his arms around her to pull her even tighter and gave her a light kiss on the top of her head. She sighed contently and shifted to the most comfortable position.
A couple of minutes later they were both asleep again.
Almost two hours later Mac was awake again, this time by a call of nature. When she came back from her little trip to the bathroom she wondered what to do. Should she lie on her 'own' side of the bed of snuggle back in? Had she a right to do that? As soon though as she crawled under the covers the decision was made for her. A strong arm pulled her straight back to a broad chest and a sleepy voice asked "Where were you?"
"Nature's call" she whispered back. He was back to sleep in an instant but now it took her more time. Her thoughts went to the weekend ahead. She wanted to go with him, she really wanted to but at the same time she knew they would be seen as a couple, maybe even as engaged, and despite that was her deepest wish, they were not. Could she deal with that, with the looks, questions maybe and most of all, with hiding her true feelings for him? She knew she should be happy with their regained friendship but she wanted so much more.
Mac woke up from what appeared to be a very soft touch, a kiss maybe, to her forehead. Lifting her head, she looked into two bright blue and smiling eyes and a rough voice said, "Good morning, beautiful."
She smiled back, then rested her head on his chest again. "G'morning," she murmured. "Do we have to get up already?"
She more felt than heard his soft laughter. "No," he said, "we can stay like this for another 10-15 minutes." His hands rubbed in slow circles over her back. Still half asleep she sighed her contentment with his ministrations while her hands slipped under his T-shirt and started an investigation of their own, playing around his bellybutton, then slowly crawling up towards his chest.
Suddenly she realized what she was doing. Letting her hands wander under his T-shirt in search of his nipples was way out of line. Like she had burnt herself she yanked back, rolled over and jumped out of the bed. Facing away from him, she headed for the bathroom, hoping on a little time to compose herself before she had to face him.
His voice stopped her. "Mac?"
He too had got out of the bed, standing a few feet away from her. He sounded uncertain.
"Mac, I'm… I'm sorry. Did I… was I….?" he stepped a bit closer. "Did I say something wrong? Did I overstep the line? Did I do something to you while asleep?"
For some reason Mac had a frightening flashback to a certain star filled evening on a ferry in a far away country. Back then she had taken the first step and she was turned down. It had taken her a long time to overcome that rejection, it had even driven her into the arms of another man. And here she was, as much as, if not more in love with this same man.
She looked at him, his face showing more concern by de second, panic creeping into his eyes.
She knew she had to make a move, had say something. She couldn't let him take the undeserved blame, let him beat himself up for what he not has done. It would seriously damage their new-found friendship, maybe even destroy it. She swallowed, opened her mouth, then had to moisten her lips before a word would come out.
"You did nothing wrong, Harm, you said nothing wrong." His eyes were locked to hers. "If anyone overstepped a line it was me …"
He still looked puzzled. "But then, why…?"
She swallowed again. "It is this… us. When I lay in your arms tonight, woke up by your kiss…" her voice wavered, not sure if it really had been a kiss, but he nodded and she continued, "your arms around me, it felt so good, so right, so incredible well. And spending the weekend with you, visiting your grandmother, it will be like make believe, a fairytale. But we will come back on Monday and Tuesday we will be in the office and everything will be as usual. We will be just colleagues and friends again. And I don't know if I will be able to do that," she ended in an almost inaudible whisper, looking down to the floor now.
It took him a second to react. "You won't have to."
Her head snapped up, eyes widening.
"You won't have to because you mean so much more to me than just a colleague, much more than my best friend. I…," now it was his time to hesitate, before continuing in a firm voice "I love you, Sarah, so much. I have loved you for years. And if I even still had a shred of doubt about it, yesterday taught me otherwise."
She couldn't move, could only stare at him, not believing her ears and at the same time desperately wanting to believe.
He smiled, then reached out to caress her cheek. "I love you, Sarah," he repeated.
This jolted her out of her reverie. She launched herself at him, causing him to step back. When his legs hit the rim of the bed, he fell backwards and landed with her on top of him.
"I love you, too, Harm. I do, I love you!" she squealed before she kissed him with all her might.
Their kissing threatened to develop into a full blown lovemaking when they were interrupted by the penetrating beep-beep of the alarm clock. He hit the button, then rested his forehead against hers, panting heavily. She raked her hands though his thick dark hair.
"Sarah, it's not that I don't want to make love with you, I do, but I want us to take our time, I don't want it to be quick because of ..." She silenced him with a finger on his mouth.
"I know. I want that too, and we have your grandma to visit."
He smiled and with a last quick kiss he rose. "You go and take a shower while I make breakfast. Then I'll shower, pack and we can be on our way by 8:00."
At 10am they were airborne, both still in awe about the events of that morning. After showers, breakfast and packing Harm had made a phone call to the small airport at Leesburg where his plane Sarah was sitting. Then they had driven to Mac's apartment to enable her to pack a bag as well. When they reached the airport Sarah was already pushed out and fuelled. Harm did the last pre-flight checks. The mechanic had asked if he was taking his girl for a flight and Harm thought answering "Yes" never had felt that good before. His girl, Mac, Sarah, his girl.
Before noon they arrived at the little airstrip near Bellville and were met by an ecstatic Grams who first hugged Harm several times and then pulled Mac into her arms. "I'm so glad we finally meet."
Mac blushed. "Me too, Grams, me too."
Walking to her car Grams started to speak "there's a little change of plans, I'm afraid. I told you we have our fair this afternoon and since I helped making preparations, I was free this afternoon. But a friend sprained her ankle this morning and now I have to fill in for her. But don't let that bother you, feel free to spend the afternoon as you like. You can take the car if you want; I always can arrange a ride back home."
"What is your planning, Grams?" Harm asked.
"Well, I go to Ruth's house – she is the friend I mentioned –, have lunch there and then her husband will drive me to the fair with the last boxes of supplies. She invites you for lunch as well but no offence if you have other plans."
Harm and Mac shared a look. They had always been good at that silent communication. "We like to join you and your friend for lunch," Harm said. "Then I can drive you and your boxes to the fair. I want to show Mac around in the village, show her where I spent my childhood vacations and later on we come to the fair too."
So said, so done, and at 15:00 Grams was standing behind the market stall with jams and chutney and Harm and Mac were watching the mayor opening the fair. After that the crowd spread out to visit the different booths or try their luck at the wheel of fortune or at one of the other games.
Harm and Mac decided to first walk the booths and then go for some games.
There were market stalls with all kinds of crafts, homemade bakery, jam, chutney and wine but also farmer's products and heaps of pumpkins.
After been given a silk scarf, a quilted potholder and some lavender sachets Mac had to forcefully stop Harm since he wanted to buy her a gift at every booth. She herself purchased some cinnamon scented candles and homemade soap, knowing Harriet would love them for Christmas. Harm bought a couple of jars with homemade pasta sauce and some died herbs. Together they picked up some nice pumpkins for carving.
They dropped their purchases with Grams and went on to the next attraction. They tried their luck at the Wheel of Fortune, only to be left with another quilted potholder, which Mac presented with a smirk to Harm, commenting that he spent the most time in the kitchen. They threw balls at towers of empty cans, tossed some rings, tried to catch floating ducks, laughed at the dunk tank and ended at a shooting gallery. Some kids looked longingly at the prizes.
Mac looked at Harm. "Dare to…?"
"Of course, Jarhead."
They both got a rifle and started shooting at the metal ducks. While Harm only hit one in two targets, Mac didn't need long to "kill" all her ducks. Which her reward, a giant stuffed plush duck, in her arms she throw him a smug look. He pulled a face to her, than wrapped his arm around his shoulders. "I should have known better to start a shooting contest with a Marine."
Mac just chuckled. Then she looked to her duck again. "Do you know what to do with this "little" fellow? I don't think your grandmother would appreciate him."
Harm laughed. "No, I don't think so either."
Mac looked around, spotting the kids. "Hey, you there. Do you like ducks?" They eagerly nodded and with a "Then here you are," Mac got rid of her 'new best friend'.
After their little 'shoot-out' they went for the final attraction. On a small platform a square-dance was going on. A man in a black suit and a bowler's hat with a fiddle yelled directions to a group of 16 dancers. Mac pulled Harm towards the podium. "Let's join them." He wasn't too keen but didn't want to spoil her fun. One of the couples made way for them and they took the open space. Not used to this type of dancing they had some difficulty to follow the instructions but once they found the rhythm, they both enjoined it very much. With a last direction, 'Gents, now grab your partner at the hips, ladies, kiss your sweethearts on the lips', the dance ended and Harm helped Mac from the podium.
To his surprise she didn't comment on the dance, in fact, while they were walking she was very silent, answering absentmindedly when he asked her something.
After a while he couldn't take it anymore. He quickly pulled her behind some bushes, safe from prying eyes, then tilted her head so she had to look at him. "What is it, Mac?"
The love and concern in his voice and on his face brought a lump in her throat. It took her a couple of seconds before she was able to answer. "It's nothing, Harm." He didn't look convinced. She wrapped her arms around his neck.
"There's nothing wrong. It was just when the leader of the dance said 'kiss you sweetheart on the lips' when it hit me. You are my sweetheart and I love you and you love me and I have every right to kiss you. It's like a miracle and I still hardly can believe it." She pulled his face towards her for a tender kiss. He sighted relieved "you're right, it's like a miracle."
When they emerged from behind the bushes, Mac's lips a little swollen, they saw Grams beckoning Harm. Mac gave him a gentle push "you go and find out if she needs any help. We'll catch up later."
While Harm went to his grandmother, Mac wandered further over the fair. At last she found herself at a small market stall, belonging to a goldsmith. To her surprise he had quite a collection of jewellery with him, chains, bracelets, earrings and rings. Watching the beautiful pieces her eye felt on a splendorous narrow gold ring, three tiny emeralds embedded in a Celtic knot motive. She longingly touched it with one finger, then picked it up.
The goldsmith smiled at her "What size do you have? This is a size seven." She nodded; it was her size. She sighed. It was exactly the engagement ring she had dreamed about, but she was not going to push him, not even drop a hint.
When she felt Harm coming back, she quickly replaced the ring on the tray and shifted her eyes to a tray of earrings, pretending she had been looking at them for the whole time. A moment later he was behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. "Already picking your Christmas present, Jarhead?"
She turned to be able to put her arms around him too, thus not noticing that he raised his eyebrows to the goldsmith in a silent question. The other man understood and pointed with his chin to the tray with rings. Harm noticed one of the rings lying slightly ajar, like someone had replaced it in a hurry. The goldsmith smiled and nodded again.
Suddenly Harm had to swallow a lump. He knew what he wanted but wasn't it too soon?
The man behind the table gave him an encouraging look and he made up his mind. Without releasing her he reached for the ring. Mac felt his movement and looked up, just in time to see him pick up the jewel. She froze, this couldn't be happening. Slowly her eyes went to his face.
Harm had to swallow again, so overcome by his emotions he couldn't utter a word. He held up the ring for her to see and tried to let his eyes speak for him, show all the love, devotion and longing he felt for her. After a moment he managed to whisper "Sarah?"
Mac too wasn't able to say something. Silently, her eyes full of tears, she held up her shaking left hand and nodded, one, two times.
Tenderly Harm slipped the ring around her finger, kissed her hand and then held her in a tight embrace. Finally finding his voice back, he whispered "I love you, Sarah, more than life itself," then kissed her.
They came back to earth when they heard the cheers and whistles from the bystanders. Mac blushed and hid her face against his chest. Harm on the other side just flashed a wide smile. "She said yes", he proudly announced, thus earning a round of applause, cheers and congratulations from the bystanders and a poke in the ribs from his now-fiancée.
The evening was spent with a delicious meal - a pot-roast Grams had prepared that morning -, cheerfully chatting and watching some photo albums with pictures of Harm's childhood. The matching stories though made him cringe now and then and he was relieved when at 10:00pm Grams called it a night. "I'm tired. Harm, will you…."
"Yes Grams, I'll lock up and make sure the fire is out."
He threw a new log on the fire, then sat back on the couch, his back against the arm, legs stretched out. Mac snuggled in with her back against his chest. He played with her left hand, admiring the ring again.
"It wasn't too soon, was it?" he suddenly asked.
"No, it was perfect!" Mac declared resolutely, knowing what he was thinking. "I even wouldn't mind if we were marrying tomorrow."
"I would," he said to her surprise. She turned to look into his eyes.
"I would mind," he repeated, "because I want us to have a proper wedding. I want my mum and Frank and of course Grams present and as many of our friends as possible. I want you to wear the most gorgeous dress you can possibly find. I want either Bud or Sturgis or Keeter as my best man and Harriet as your maid of honour, if you like her to be. I want the admiral to give you away, if that's what you want too. I want a wedding album we can look at in de years to come and we can show to our children and maybe grandchildren …" he had to stop for a breath.
She smiled, her eyes brimming with tears. Emotionally she whispered, "I want that, too," pulling his head towards her for a kiss.
After a few minutes he continued, "I want us to take our time, Mac. Time to date, you deserve some proper courting. I want to take you out on diners, go dancing, visit a theatre."
He chuckled "I love to see you in fancy dresses."
Then he sobered. "I want us to take our time. Friday taught me a lot, Mac. I thought that I knew how I would feel if you weren't a part of my life anymore. If you had married Mic …, I thought I could cope with that. That you were happy would be enough." He laughed wryly "I would have had to cope with that. But losing you completely …" She could feel the tension in his muscles and tenderly caressed his cheek, waiting for him to continue.
"I did some thinking today. During these years we had our share of miscommunication. I have never been good with words. I'm not good in expressing my feelings …, keep things to myself ...
I rather let my actions speak and then expect the other to understand, to fill in the gaps."
Knowing she had contributed her part to the miscommunication Mac interrupted "I tend to jump to conclusions, don't give you enough time, don't wait for you to speak out."
He nodded thoughtfully. "We both did things wrong. Mac, I want this to work; I can't … if, God forbid, it doesn't work out, I don't want to have to look back and say: if only we had taken more time to learn to know each other. I wouldn't know how to cope with that, with loosing you for the course of a stupid misunderstanding ..." He took a deep breathe. "I want us to take our time to learn to talk, to be open."
She slid her hand through his hair. "You are right. We should take our time."
The next day, Sunday morning, they went to church. Grams attended the Mennonite church nearby and she liked Harm and Mac to accompany her, giving her the opportunity to gloat with her handsome grandson and his beautiful fiancée.
After the service there was the opportunity to drink a cup of coffee or tea before Sunday school classes started. Remembering how Mac had admired her quilts at home Grams took her to the basement to show her the quilt they were working on with the women's group. It was a beautiful 'Jacob's stairs' pattern in dark green and yellow.
"Most of the quilts we make are for charity", she told. "They are sold for MCC", and on Mac's puzzled look, "Mennonite Central Committee. They use the money for all kinds of projects. But once in a while we make something for ourselves. We just finished this one," and with that she opened a cupboard to reveal a magnificent king-size quilt with a pattern of rings. "It's a wedding gift for the Ruth's youngest granddaughter. Before we made them for our children when they got married, now for our grandchildren."
She looked again to the quilt before restoring it to the cupboard. "I never thought I would have the opportunity to make one for my grandson," she beamed at Mac. "I'm so happy you and Harm found each other. I have known for years he loved you."
Mac raised her eye brows in a silent question.
"Well, if a man has a picture of a beautiful woman, tucked deep down inside his wallet … At first I thought it was Diana but I soon realised the girl on the picture wore a different uniform. Of course I wasn't meant to see it, so I never told Harm."
After lunch Grams announced she was going for a long nap. The days before had been tiring. She told the two of them to go out, enjoy the weather while it was still nice – rain was predicted for the second half of the afternoon – and don't be back before dinnertime. Harm and Mac looked at each other and decided to do as ordered. After all, Harm had been looking forward to show her around in his childhood's paradise.
Hand in hand they wandered the premises of the old farm, Harm telling about catching fireflies, horse riding and playing hide en seek with his friends in the summer and sledding, skating and building snowmen during winter. Mac loved to listen to him, hearing more about his childhood, which had been so different from her own.
It was shortly after three o'clock when Harm noticed the rain clouds coming in. Knowing how quick the weather could change he headed for the fastest way home, but still the clouds seemed get the better of them.
"Run", Harm yelled.
Just when the first drops started to fall, they reached the old large barn, about 80 yards from the house. Inside they were greeted by the two horses, poking their heads out of their boxes, begging for attention.
While petting the animals, Harm started to share some other childhood memories. "We used to play here, when it rained. Pet the animals, back then there were also cows, sheep and two goats. We even had our own ..." He grabbed Mac's hand once again and pulled her to the ladder, prodding her to climb up "… castle up here in the hay." He chuckled. "The one thing though which was strictly forbidden was fire. Flashlights ok, but no matches, no candles." He chuckled again. "In hindsight, Grams was right of course. Fire and hay is a lethal combination. But anyway, one time we did take some candles with us and when she found out … Grams didn't get mad very easily but … well, let's say I needed a pillow on my chair for over a week. Needless to say I didn't get one."
Mac laughed out loud. She clearly got the image. That thought brought her attention once again to his now mature and very sexy six. Her laughter faded away and she could only stare at him. Suddenly the air seemed to thicken.
He stared back and then they were in each others arms, kissing like madly. After some minutes Mac withdrew herself just enough to get some air and panting she asked "What time does Grams expects us back?"
"Diner is six o'clock, so about 17:30. Why?"
"That gives us over two hours," she whispered, slipping her hands under his sweater and starting to pull his T-shirt out of the waistband of his pants.
He moaned at the implications of her words, then lifted her up to carry her to the hay stack, before kissing her again.
Suddenly he stopped. "Wait," he said. "Don't move."
For a second he disappeared, she heard him descend the ladder, then climb up again and a moment later he was back, carrying two horse blankets and began to spread them out on the hay.
On her quizzed look he started to explain, "My friends and I always begged Grams to let us sleep in the stable for a couple of nights. At first hay seems very soft but after a while it starts itching and there's always a straw poking in your back …" he trailed off. "I want you to know you're the first girl though …" He chuckled. "I won't deny I thought about it, after all I was a normal teenage boy but I never …" He rose to his feet and scooped her up to place her in the middle of the blanket.
Mac smiled. "You took your girls to a more comfortable place," she teased.
Harm stopped dead in his movements and she knew instantly what she had said wrong.
"Harm, I don't need that extra comfort, I want you, now."
He didn't seem convinced so she pulled him towards him to kiss him fervently.
"I … want … you … now …," she repeated, underlining each word with another fierce kiss. "And you know what they say about marines: either give them what they want willingly or else they will take it."
He chuckled and lowered his body on top of her, pressing his groin to her thigh so she could feel his arousal. "I am willing, Mac. Boy, am I willing!"
They made it to dinner in time, but only just, thanks to Mac's internal clock. The evening went pretty well like the one before. After Grams went to bed, Harm and Mac stayed behind, cuddled up on the sofa and discussing their next move. They decided to talk to the Admiral first thing Tuesday morning, but ask him to keep their new found relationship a secret for a while. They wanted to steal some time together before announcing their engagement to the world, even though it meant that Mac had to hide her ring for now.
At 11pm Harm raised and stretched his muscles, then reached out for Mac. "Let's call it a night." She let him pull her up and gave him a peck on the lips. "Yes," she said. "We've got a lot to do tomorrow ... and the next week … and the rest of our lives."
The end.