Disclaimer: I most definitely do NOT own Harry Potter (Or Batman). I only entertain myself with these twisted stories that I write.

Story Summary: Harry spends long years trying to find his animagus form, only to discover that he's a fly. What the Boy-Who- Buzzed to do? Torture his enemies, of course!

Italics are Harry's thoughts.

Animagus Adventures:

Animagus Gone Wrong

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Harry had done it. He was finally an animagus.

But he was a frigging FLY.

Sucks for him.

Well, it did have its advantages though, he mused.

"Buzz."

He was currently flying around Snivil…Snape's greasy head.

He really does need to use some shampoo every once in a while, the great slime-ball. He thought to himself. Obviously to himself, seeing as you can't do leglimency on a fly. Sheesh, what are you, stupid. Anyway…

"Buzz!"

So far, he was being ignored.

But…there it was!

His eye twitched violently, causing one of his inhumanely large eyebrows to look oddly like a black, fuzzy caterpillar having an epileptic seizure on his forehead.

Ah, the wonders of nature.

The mischievous fly buzzed once more before landing right on top of his nemesis's head. Time for some serious –Literally, Sirius style—payback. Well, possibly James style, but who really cared as long as it was hilarious and slightly violent? Exactly, no one.

Hmmm, let's see. Maybe I can make him hit himself. Ha-ha. He'll break his own nose. Whee!

Harry began swirling around through the air near his beak-styled nose.

Maybe he should get muggle plastic surgery to fix it. Harry guffawed inside his tiny fly brain. He needs a nose job. Really, it's not that hard to see what first years are always afraid of him. I wonder what it looks like when he sneezes.

Snape finally cracked and started to wave frantically at the fly.

"Gah! Stupid, Infernal--"

20 minutes later Snape's office was sadly lacking in organization.

On the plus side, Harry's vocabulary had rapidly expanded. If he so wished it, he could now swear with all the proficiency of a sailor. Snape is good for aomething after all.

Snape was shooting curses and hexes galore at the gleeful insect. While Harry, (in all his supreme fly-ness), was having the time of his life.

The time with Ginny in the broom closet on the third floor not withstanding of course.

"You—"

Whoa, Harry giggled, Maybe I should go buy a ship when I'm done.

For the

Grand Finale

Harry swooped down through the air and landed right on the tip of Snivelleus's hooked nose, causing him to freeze and slowly go cross-eyed. Harry the fly buzzed to tune of the muggle theme song Batman.

WHACK!

Blood spurted across the room, out of a hook-nose geyser while its owner cursed fluently. (In a few different languages, too!)

The fly zoomed out the open window, the perfect picture of innocence. The enraged professor stomped over and violently slammed it shut to keep him out.

"Damned fly." He sneered, causing more blood to drip out of his broken nose. "Good riddance." He muttered sullenly as he went about cleaning up his (now destroyed) office.

Harry the fly floated down by his friends, who were waiting for him to exit the tower.

--Pop—

He burst into his human form about three inches behind the pair. "Hey guys!" he laughed.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" they shrieked like cats getting their tails trodden on by Hagrid.

(A/N: Poor kitties T.T)

He had a long explanation to give. Moving out of their way, he swiftly grabbed his book-bag from under Hermione's arm and made a run for it.

When his friends caught up with him, he was already a fourth of the way through eating his dinner.

"Honestly Harry," Hermione gasped, out of breath, "How were you able to run so fast?"

"Bloody hell, mate." Ron groaned as he collapsed into the bench.

"My newly-found animagus form is a fly. I made Snape break his beaky nose and demolish his own office. It was so fun! You should've seen the look on his face! Priceless!" he cackled evilly.

"Really?" Ron looked interested.

"Yep, I also learned enough new vocabulary to be a sailor."

The muggle-born students in the vicinity began to cackle evilly along with him, while the pureblood students just looked confused and slightly disturbed.

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Review for sequel or Sanpe's point of view!!