Party fever

I'm in love with Gil Grissom. I wouldn't believe it either but over the years it became so natural that I didn't even notice being in love with him.

It begin with innocent thoughts like He has a cute smile or Man…he's really sexy. These were thought every woman had from to time. When you walk on the streets and there's a really really good looking guy you think also He's hot, but it's not like you're going to jump or marry him the next second. It's just a fact. And that's the same it is with Grissom.

Was. It was this way with Grissom. Now it's different. When he smiles I imagine what it would be like if I woke up next to him and he smiles at me like this. When he sticks his tongue out I want to kiss him senseless. When he bends I want to jump him right there. When he tells me some stupid things about his bugs I can't stop smiling because his eyes shine like the eyes of a little boy who plays with his favourite toy. When I go home I want him to come with me. I want him by my side every time.

The moment I knew I loved him was simply and nothing special. Of course it was special to me but it was nothing spectacular. I was late and ran to the break. Gil was also late and jogged there too to hand out the assignments. He came left around the corner and I right. When we bounced into each other we fell to floor, so that I was buried under him. I felt so hot and when I saw his eyes locked into mine I could swear that I saw desire…and maybe love. My heart jumped up and down I couldn't hear anything else and the butterflies in my stomach turned into planes crashing into each other. He was so shy and nice, like a real gentleman and helped me up. He couldn't look me in the eyes the rest of the day.

Shift's almost over and I'm going to ask him if he wants to go to the Christmas party this weekend with me. He always refuses to go but this year he won't, not if it's a date.

"Hey Catherine, how are ya?" Nick came around the corner; he asks me the whole week if I had a date the party. I smile wildly. Now I have a date, almost, but I'm sure he says yes when I ask him.

"Hey Nicky, really good. You want something?"

"No, not really. But you know the Christmas party is this weekend."

"Yeah I know Nick"

"So, who's gonna be your date?"

"I won't tell you his name. You'll see him at the party."

"Who sees who at which party?"

Gil stood suddenly beside us and looked curios from Nick to me.

"We're going to see Catherine's date at the Christmas party this weekend."

I would have killed him right there and then. But then Gil would be a witness and I had to kill him too. Nick was lucky I loved Gil so much otherwise he would be dead right now.

"Really? You didn't tell me you had a date."

For a second he looked hurt and disappointed but in the next he looked like it didn't matter to him. After Sarah leaved for good we decided to fix our broken friendship and Gil opened up more and more to me. It was as if I had my best friend back again. But then there was a lot more than friendship and I tried harder to fix everything, hoping we would get closer than before.

"I…Nick….he…I mean…he…he didn't quite understand what …what I wanted to say."

"You want to explain it?"

"No…I mean yes, Gil…but…could we speak over breakfast?"

He looked unsure what to say but sensed that I had something important to say.

"I've got no time for breakfast but if you want to speak we could speak in my office. While Nick goes back to work on his case."

Nick looked like the cat that caught the mouse. But when he saw Gil's death glare he vanished in no time.

"Shall we?" Gil asked me and I felt how m knees disappeared. I almost tripled but Gil held me close so I wouldn't fall.

"Everything okay, Cath?"

I loved it when he called me Cath. It was something only he was allowed to. I caught the worried glance he threw me and tried to remember what he had asked me. He was so close I couldn't breathe or think.

"Cath? You okay?"

"Yeah of course. Let's go to you office."

Once there he closed the door and I felt my head spinning. How can he do this without even touching me?

"You never told me you had a date. I thought we wanted to tell us everything, no more secrets. Remember?"

"I know, Gil. But…It isn't the way you think it is."

"I think you have got a date for the Christmas party and haven't told me about him. If you're taking him to the Christmas party where every friend and colleague of us will be it means you're serious with him?"

I could sense that he was uncomfortable. He was jealous and I could smell it. It made me smile thinking about that he must really feel love for me if he was jealous talking about someone who doesn't even exist. But he read my smile wrong.

"So he is special to you. Why didn't you tell me sooner? Is it Brian? The one you went out with some weeks ago?"

"No, Gil! It's not Brian. I told you that I wouldn't continue dating him."

"Then who's this mystery guy?"

You. My mind screamed. You are this mystery guy. But my mouth said: "Nobody."

"Nobody?"

"Yes. Nobody."

"Ah…I understand. You're embarrassed because you've got no one and instead of telling Nick you lied to him."

"Yeah...kind of."

I could have told him there because he knew there was something I didn't tell him, but he didn't say anything and so didn't I.

"But you know that you have to come with somebody now that you told Nick you had a date."

"Yeah I know."

"You know…you could…I mean…I would…if you want…I….you know…"

"What do you want to say, Gil?"

I don't hear him stutter often but I think it's kind of cute. He does it often when he's nervous. And he's blushing! He is so adorable when he blushes and stutters.

"I mean….maybe we could go together."

"Where?"

"To the party."

My jaw hit the floor and I'm pretty sure I'm dead because my heartbeat was so high I'm sure it just flew away. And it took my breath with it.

"It isn't a real date of course. Just that you're not alone if you don't find someone there. We could go there together and leave together. You don't have to be by my side every time."

Now I'm sure I'm dead. Was this a gentle rejection of him? He wanted us to go as friends but not as lovers.

"Just if you're okay with it. I'm sure you can find a date in no time."

Take what you get Catherine. You can make it a date at the party.

"No, no….I mean yes…I mean...of course I would go with you. It's really nice of you. I didn't even think that you would want to go there."

"Hey, what are friends for? I'm just saving you from a humiliation of Nick."

He smiled again his boyish smile which makes my knees go weak and leaves his office. Said something about a report he needed from Hodges and left.

The party is in three days and till then I'm going to make him mine forever.