Summary: The walls have ears, the walls remember, and no matter how hard we wish, some things can never be forgotten. The sin, the torture, the wrongness of it all - was enough to want to burn the fucking palace to the ground. Rewrite told from Zuko and Azula's perspectives.

Warnings for this chapter: metaphors (?) and spoilers if you haven't seen Sozin's Comet.

A/N: This is a rewrite, obviously, of Escape the Hell, one of my very first fanfics. It's also an apology for brashly deleting the fanfic. Below is my formal apology to former readers and my reasons for having deleted it. This is told from Azula and Zuko's perspectives (third person because I absolutely cannot stand first person) to make it more cohesive with my current style and add a further level to it while being more grammatically correct. (why does english not have a third person gender neutral singular possessive?)

Author's Apology: I am truly sorry to all of those that were hoping I would finish Escape the Hell, I wasn't even aware people read it still. I unfortunately no longer have it on my computer but I'm willing to rewrite it, however it won't be exactly like the original. This time around I won't be in as much of a writing trap and hopefully it reflects more of my current writing style. I'll try to keep it more écriture feminine like the original was, but my style has conformed to the phallogocentric academic writing style. (This means it's going to be more linear than it was before).

The main reason I stopped writing Escape the Hell was because I felt utterly uncomfortable with the subject matter and I no longer knew where I was going. I had written myself into countless traps and it just didn't sit with me well anymore. I was ashamed of the grammatical errors and I was horrified by how callously I treated everything involved in the subject matter - thank you College for putting that into perspective. (Though I do love reading stories where Zuko gets completely fucked up emotionally, physically, and mentally – I just have a harder time writing it now that well…being in the real world that shit can happen to you)

Truth be told, I wrote the original when I was fourteen and I disassociated sex from all of its real life implications. I've grown up much since then, and from the last update I think it was fairly clear how uncomfortable I was about writing sexual scenes.

I'll do my best to recreate it with this new focus, however much of what was explicit in the original will be implied now. Again, I apologize for deleting that so brashly, I suppose I could have asked if anyone wanted to adopt it or something.

Again, I apologize ~ with much love and sincere apologies, depressedchildren

Prologue

Zuko didn't think, he just reacted - so he jumped in front of the lightning streaming toward Katarra, who still hated him. He didn't think before he acted, yet now, as the lightning coursed through him, he could think of a million things. The thoughts surged through his mind like the electricity boiling his blood and destroying his organs.

Through his darkening vision, he imagined his sister looked horrified before the waterbender began to attack. Perhaps it was his imagination but he could have sworn Azula was crying… Ever since the Boiling Rock incident, he knew his sister was becoming more and more unhinged. He always wanted to protect her, but sometimes he wondered if he had only damaged her more.

He could feel his stomach cramping and blood beginning to pool around him. Part of him felt the pain but the rest of him was so far away, so far away from it all. His vision completely blotted out and he could no longer hear the sounds of fighting, yet still his thoughts whirled around inside of his mind.

Everyone knew now, everyone but Uncle, and perhaps that was for the best? Zuko liked to think it was for the best, at least. The Spirits knew too, of course, that was why they cursed him. They knew Zuko was never going to escape this twisted, dark thing – it could never be called a relationship – so they "blessed" him. The Spirits must have known all along through some sort of spiritual foresight.

He just hoped he could explain it to Azula; to help her understand better because he wasn't lying to her, and he never meant to hurt her. He wanted to protect her from what he had been through, but also to protect her from what hurt Mother about it all. He could see the disgust and pity on all of their faces, "all" meaning the Avatar's group, but he had only seen hurt and confusion in Azula's eyes – for she was too good a warrior to express such emotions blatantly.

Zuko hoped this wasn't the end, there was so much that needed to be done, especially if Aang succeeded. If Avatar Aang succeeded…Fire Lord Ozai's reign would come to an end along with this Spirits-forsaken war, and a new Fire Lord would have to help restore the balance in the world. Uncle told Zuko he would have to become the new Fire Lord, that there had always been conflict between great good and evil within him. Uncle told Zuko he must be the one to lead the Fire Nation out of this darkness, he was to be the new face of the Fire Nation, the face that had been scarred by their element as much as the rest of the world.

Zuko prayed to the Spirits that he would wake up soon, that he would fulfill his destiny and not die here. There was so much he needed to do, even though he had desired to die in the past, he needed to hold on now. They needed to let him live. He knew Katarra would do all in her power to keep him alive despite her hate/disgust for him, especially after he saved her life. He just hoped the Spirits allowed it.

His thoughts were slowing down now. They plodded to the surface like lumbering badgermoles, and like the dirt badgermoles accumulated around them in their ascent, memories began to surface as well.

A Suivre

A/N: Again, I apologize for deleting the original. However, I'm not sure how often I can update this, especially with rewriting and trying to make it as grammatically correct (excluding stylistic quirks) as I am currently am capable of making it. I have an 18 credit course load, and I'm in a play, plus there are two other fanfics I'm really working on. I will try to update it with my other two that I'm focusing on but no true guarantees. You can guilt trip me if you like, that will probably work, but who knows about the quality or quantity. I really do apologize to former readers. ~ With love, depressedchildren