What you didn't read on the Honeymoon night:
I have everything figured out to a point. I know I want her to know how much I loved her, and even love might not even be the correct word. Bella is more than 'love' to me; she is my world, the reason for my very existence. I never once thought I would be grateful for being the monster I am... until now. Perhaps it was meant to be this way, I was meant to be this monster, so I could have the chance to share my life with the most perfect creature.
I picked a spot near the lake, I had brought my piano and set it near the trees that lined the meadow where we had shared so many wonderful memories. I wanted to sing her lullaby for her for the first time as my wife. My wife, I liked hearing that more and more. I was going to cover the piano with lit candles but I knew my Bella; that was an accident waiting to happen. Just thinking of how accident prone she was made me chuckle under my breath. As I waited for her I sat dreaming upright by my piano; hands on the keys remembering our first day in the meadow. How she loved me for what I was, not for someone she wanted me to be, or the person I always thought I was. Tonight was going to be a lot like that day. We were going to explore each other in a new way. As I started playing the lullaby, I felt her presence drawing nearer and nearer. I didn't have to turn around to confirm. She placed one hand on my shoulder letting it slip over my chest, slowly unbuttoning my shirt. She bent down to whisper in my ear "There is no going back now, Edward, are you sure you want me forever?" She knew the answer to that. She was taunting me. She knew I wanted nothing more than to have her, have her the way she'd been yearning for. She never realized how hard it was for me. I let out a crooked smile and I continued to play my song... trying to gain my strength, or better yet, my patience. Her delicate hand continued down my chest all the way to undo my dark slacks. The heat from her hand left a trail of burning fire on my skin.
This is when I knew she was going to test my will the most. I knew I was going to have to stay in control at all times. I didn't want to hurt her, ever. She moved ever so slowly around my body to sit in my lap. Bella's legs straddled my cold limbs. She looked up to my eyes, surely filled with my over whelming love for her. Her eyes pierced mine. At that moment I knew I wanted to read her mind the most. I wanted to give her everything she was expecting. I slowing kissed her soft warm lips and for the first time, I felt her tongue in my frigid mouth. I had to breathe to calm myself, but in doing that I was able to devour her aroma. I stared at her precious face, the face of an angel. Our kissing became increasingly fierce and I could feel her wetness begin. Still, I continued playing her song. She was wearing a sexy lingerie outfit, a white lace up corset with a bright pink ribbon, and pink lace trim. Bella's curves were exposed. I was taken aback in the way the moonlight hugged every crevice. She was beautiful. How lucky am I, to have her all to myself? Why do I deserve her? Her presence made me shutter with pure ecstasy. I was so content knowing she was all mine, yet nervous at what I knew I was no long going to have the strength to avoid. She leaned her warm body close to mine, and selfishly I didn't care how cold I made her, having her that close made me feel complete. I was on the brink on surrendering to my self control. I let my hands stop playing only to explore her soft back. I nearly forgot my strict discipline agenda by hearing her moan in approval. Hearing her in such a state set my arousal to heighten. This was going to be harder than anything I have ever accomplished. "Please touch me more," it was as if she gave me a direct order in which I was bound to obey. Not even thinking twice I started to unlace the beautiful piece of clothing that was coving an even more beautiful body. Her hands wear tarring away my collared shirt. She kissed me neck and my collar bone nibbling a little on my stone ear. It seems as if i wasn't untying her corset quick enough, so I used my expertise to finish. She smiled knowing what I had done. I smiled back, if I could blush now would be the time... she knew I was about to succumb to her. She was more love than I ever thought I would receive, or deserve. I kept looking at her with wonder, and contentment. Here was Bella completely naked in my lap, ready for me to satisfy her every need. I did it, I lost control. I picked Bella up placing her on to top of the piano; I opened her legs and stood between them. 'Take me Edward, I am yours,' her soft voice whispered. 'I hope I am everything you want me to be,' I wished. This is all new to me. Bella didn't realize she was my first. Her tiny feet rested on the piano keys, and I leaned in, 'You already are Edwa...' her voice trailed off as I started the kiss the inside of her thighs. I was trying to go as slow as I could, but I knew I couldn't hold out, I had to taste her. I buried my head, licking every drop of her sweetness. She laid back on the piano relaxing her body, giving it all to me. I continued to devour her juices. My slender fingers joined in. A slight whimper made me question if I was hurting her, I slowed my tongue... she could since my reluctance. I continued to circulate my tongue in her core, she tasted even better than I had imagined. I could feel her sit up even though my eyes were closed.
'Ok, my turn to play' she teased; as she slid down the tall piano. Her eyes traveled from my eyes, down my chest, lingering on my manhood, and as she slid my pants to the floor, I was questioning her next move. I was totally exposed to her for the first time. She pushed me back forcefully, which I was not used to, but not ashamed to admit it was a turn on. "Bella, you're stronger than I give you credit.' 'That's what I have been trying to tell you, Edward' A smile spread across her face, she knew I was putty in her hands. Her delicate lips kissed my mouth once before she kissed a trail to my throbbing hard on. As I watched her slowly lick the tip her eyes looked up at me. I was in shock, I couldn't move. Bella continued to surround my once useless organ, with her tender mouth. She took all of it in as if she was starving for it, as much as I was her blood. I knew of sex, living with Rosalie and Emmett made it hard not to realize, or hear, but I never imagined it to feel like this. I closed my eyes as she worked her magic. I moan in appreciation, I couldn't help but to say her name, 'Bella...oh, Bella...' She was more perfect than I ever thought. As good as this new sensation was feeling I knew I wanted to be inside of her, to be as close to her as I could possible get. 'Please, let me inside you,' I asked not filtering anything I was feeling. Her eyes brightened, as if she was finally getting what she had been waiting for. She stood up and I pinned her against my piano, thanking myself for bringing it, it has come in handy. 'I am yours to use, use me up,' she whispered in my ear. I placed a hand on her heavenly face, kissing her softly; containing my over-zealousness to use the force I knew would come after she wasn't so breakable. I was going to make this as 'human' as I possible could. Her head tilled back as I let the tip slide in her. Her mouth open. Slowly pushing her onto myself, deeper and deeper leaning in to lick the exposed neck placed so elegantly in front of me. Feeling her burning core cover mine was beyond words. This was as close to heaven as I would ever get. We swayed in unison. She was panting and sweating, though I didn't know how that was possible. I knew how hot she felt, the opposite must be true for her. She pushed me back again, we moved to the bed Mother Nature provided. I enjoyed hearing the sounds from the piano as we created a new lullaby, but I knew this was more comfortable for her. Her tender body layed on my stone shell. 'Edward, more... harder, I need more...' Again obeying, I proceeded with caution, but increased my speed. I held securely to her perfect hip bones. Simultaneously she was bouncing. Seeing her perfect body, swaying with my motions were about enough to make me explode. I was moaning at the sensation I was feeling. I focused on her eyes and I saw a tear fill the windows to her soul, her perfect soul. My thrusting came to a screeching halt, Bella looked frightened, as if I was going to regress as usual, and stop completely. My eyes froze in terror. No words were spoken, it was as if we could read each others minds. I saw flicker of understanding in her eyes as she placed a hand on my face knowingly and said "You're not hurting me, Edward, the exact opposite actually. You don't know how much you are giving me right now, and how incredibility wonderful you feel." I needed to hear that, I had to know I wasn't hurting her. I slowly continued to rock back and forth letting every inch of my love slide in her warm center. She lean into me, our bodies were one. Her breath was short and quick. 'Edward, Edward, I am going to come....' I loved hearing Bella's sweet voice call my name, knowing I was all she needed at that very moment. I too was verging on letting all of myself spill into her. 'Bella, I love you.' 'I love you too, Edwar....' there it was, her nectar was leaking. I could no long keep my composure. I held her tightly, probably to leave bruises, as I let what life I had left in me, consume her body. She kissed my iced lips, and sweetly said, 'You should have listened to me sooner.' She rested her head on my chest, as if she was listening for a heart beat that sadly wasn't there. If only she could hear the heartbeat I felt. A sneaky smile leaked onto her face, 'we could have done this a dozen times by now.' We laughed, 'No, this was better, as much as I would have like to do this a million times, this was the right way to do it. I wanted you to know how much you mean to me before you gave everything to me.' I looked into her brown eyes. They consumed my entire soul....or my damned soul, or what ever I had in me, I was drowning by my love for her. If I still had my soul, as Bella always argued, it was gone for sure now. It was no longer mine, she now owned it.