Title: Wait, That's My Team
Summery: The new generation is kind of shocking.
"Alright, let's have a report on your new teams." the Hokage said, lighting up his pipe. The sensei were all badly beaten, making him wonder is this year was just very good, or if the jonin needed a new exam to make sure they were in shape.
"Hokage-sama... have you no idea what those teams are like?" Kakashi asked, staring. Gai frowned.
"Even my own youthful team has gone through changes."
"Every child goes through puberty-" the Hokage said. Kurenai snorted, loudly.
"Not like this."
Team Seven
Kakashi, when he walked into that room, wasn't prepared for what he was about to face.
He was prepared to face a prankster, an avenger and a fangirl.
As soon as he walked, in, he noticed not everything was quite right.
Naruto, the blonde prankster he knew from his constant watch, wasn't wearing the orange monstrosity like he normally did. Normally, a good thing, but instead he wore a pair of robes with feathers on his shoulders, his hair yanked back into a short ponytail. He was playing with an orange tabby cat, while a staff leaned next to him. His head band was wrapped around his upper left arm.
Sasuke, instead of brooding, was working on something in front of himself. His hair was not in the infamous 'duck style' as it was known among the Konoha nins, instead resembling Naruto's old style. He wore a plain white shirt, and a pair of what he thought was called 'denim' pants, a pant cloth mostly chosen by construction workers and the such for it's durability. A circle of blue glowed under his shirt. His headband was in it's proper place on his head.
Sakura was wearing a white gi-style shirt, paired with cloth pants and a grey robe over that. Her hair was pulled into a ponytail, and she had an odd cylinder like weapon on her hip, with her headband on her forehead as well.
"My first impression of you is... you're all odd." he announced, before saying, "Meet me on the roof," as he sushined away. It only took a few seconds for them to come up, Sasuke carrying a red and gold breifcase with him. Naruto set his staff against the wall, still holding the cat, as Sakura dropped into a respectful sitting position. "Introductions, likes, dislikes, the usual." he waved a hand lazily. He wasn't going to pass them, but he might at least know them. "Pinky first."
"Hai, Master Kakashi." she said, bowing her head. "I am Padawan Haruno Sakura. My likes are training in the force, meditating, and training. I dislike traitors, the dark side, and people who try and sway me from my path," here she gave a dirty look to Sasuke, who just grinned. "My dream is to become a great Jedi knight."
What the hell is a Jedi? wondered Kakashi, before he nodded to Sasuke. "Glow worm."
"Original." drawled the boy. "I'm Uchiha Sasuke. I like women, alcohol, and science. I dislike men who kill everyone you care about, and leave you alive, politicians, and my arc reactor fading. My dream is to kill my brother, and perfect the Ironman armor."
So that's what he was working on. Armor... odd armor. Kakashi nodded to Naruto, who launched into his own tirade.
"I'm Uzumaki Naruto. I like ramen, healing, cats, and pretty girls. I dislike Templars, demons and blood magic... and the Grey Wardens some of the time. My dream is to help a friend get home, and not be made tranquil.
Demons... Is he talking about the Kyubbi? He told the kids to be ready for tomorrow, and left, thinking about his team. He wasn't going to pass them... but they were kind of interesting. He couldn't wait to see what would happen tomorrow.
-0-
... How long could she meditate? He'd been watching them, and she was still just sitting there. Naruto was playing with his cat, which he carried around in a knapsack, and Sasuke was working on his armor.
"Good morning!" he said, finally showing up.
"You're late, Master." Sakura said, opening her eyes. He laughed, and shrugged.
"I got lost on the road of life." She nodded, actually accepting the excuse, as he put down a clock, along with three lunch boxes. "Now, today's test, the objective is to get these bells from me." he held up two. "The one who does not get a bell, does not pass."
"There are only two though Cyclops." pointed out Sasuke. Naruto had put his cat away, and was holding his staff. "Or are you unable to see that in your old age."
He get's hit first. Kakashi thought, as he smiled. "Ah, that means one of you will be going back to the academy... and I eat you're lunch in front of you." No stomachs growled. He blinked. "You all ate?"
"Grey Warden stamina means I drain about twice the calories you do." Naruto said, shrugging. "I have to eat consistently, and with what I've seen... well, I doubt anything can be worse then a Broodmother."
"I can go for days with out food." Sakura said, standing up. "It was part of my training."
"I'm a narcissist. I don't play well with others, nor do I take orders well." Sasuke said cheerfully.
"Alright... come at with me with the intent to kill. We begin... now!" Sakura yanked her weapon off her hip, a buzz noise coming as she pressed a button, and a pink beam of light appeared. Sasuke put out his hand, and his armor formed around him, while Naruto made the first move.
"Choke on a fireball!" before a huge ball of flame came at him. He moved out of the way, slightly shocked. How did he know any fire jutsu?
"Engaging target." an accented voice said, and he was forced to duck again, as a beam of blue light came from the hand of Sasuke, who actually was flying in his armor. Sakura lifted her hand, a piled of rocks copying her, and she flung them at him.
Then, she came at him with her glowing sword. He used a bushin to get away, and watched as it cut cleaning through the bushin, making an odd sound, not unlike a hulahoop being swung around.
It really hurt, when the information on the death gets relayed back to him, but he was to busy avoiding Naruto flinging lightining, ice, fire and earth attacks at him. How the hell was he doing this? it all came from the staff... was it perhaps, a conduit that could change chakra into blank information, and all it took was his mind to make it into elemental chakra?
If so, where the hell could he get one?
He ducked the next cut from the blade, moving out of range of the blasts from Naruto... and making a bunch of bushin so Sasuke had target practice. Hiding in a tree, he quickly thought through a few strategies... before Sakura attacked with her blade, actually cutting through the tree made by the first Hokage.
"HOLY!" he dodged another ice bolt from Naruto, and an energy bolt from Sasuke. This... this was odd.
-0-
An hour later, he was beaten. Sakura held her blade to his throat, unnecessary since Naruto had frozen him solid from the neck down, as Sasuke held the bells.
"It was about teamwork." Sakura said, looking right at him. "Piting us against each other, you hoped to cause discord, and to see who is truly ready to serve Konoha."
"Correct... and you all pass." Though, why did he get the weird ones?
"Here, let me heal you, sensei." Naruto said, before he held up his staff and a green light enveloped him, as Sakura cut the ice away. In an instance, he was healed, completely. He stared at Naruto, who looked a little ashen, as he dug around, pulling out a blue bottle, and downing it.
"Didn't you say that lyrium was addictive? You downed four bottles during the fight."
"Five a day is my limit." said Naruto, taking a breath. "No more then that, or I'll wake up in my small clothes on a ship headed for Kiri." he grinned a bit, looking sad for a second.
"As long as he doesn't go crazy and try to kill us, I say let Feathers do what he wants. Now, how about you and I go-"
"Relationships are forbidden among the Jedi. To put someone above the others, is to court the Dark Side." snapped Sakura. Kakashi slipped away then, heading to the Hokage tower to make his report.
Hokage Tower
"He healed you?" Kakashi stood, and gestured to the ripped and marked uniform he wore.
"I don't even have a bruise." Asuma whistled.
"Wow... that's kinda cool."
"He'll make a great support ninja. Sakura's Jedi stuff makes her a good shock trooper... and Sasuke is perfect for front line combat." he said, nodding.
"Asuma, how was your team?" asked the Hokage, wondering what on Earth happened. Seals in his office prevented any ninja from lying to him directly during a report, though they didn't work on ex-ninja, so he knew Kakashi was telling the truth... but how the hell did this happen?
"At first, I was thinking we had to fire the guy who made the profiles..."
Team Ten
Asuma sat across from his students, staring. Shikamaru was the only one like his profile, leaning back in his seat bored. His clothes were kind of plain, a long black jacket and a blue scarf. His headband was around his upper right arm.
His friend, Chouji, was dressed simply, wearing a pair of glasses on his face. He looked nervous, constantly looking around, and figiting. His own headband was around his forehead.
Ino had a set of robes on, a crest made of blue and bronze with an eagle on it. She had a dazed look on her face, and was playing with a stick. Radishes hung from her ears, and she was humming under her breath. Her headband was around her neck.
"...Care for introductions?" he finally asked. Ino went first, smiling.
"I'm Yamanaka Ino. I like my friends, thestrals, and crumple-horned snorkacks! I dislike nargles, traitors, snakes, and people who are cruel. My dream is to find a crumple-horned snorkack!" she smiled, and started humming under her breath.
"I'm uh... Chouji. I don't like stressful environments, the Other Guy, being called a weapon and being treated less the human. I do like reading, science, and talking science with Sasuke and Shikamaru. My dream is to find a way to get rid of the Other Guy." said Chouji.
"Dull." Shikamaru said, rolling his eyes. "I'm Shikamaru. I like solving crimes, experiments, and puzzles. I dislike things being boring, being told I shouldn't do an experiment-"
"You were going to blow up my house!" Chouji said, sounding annoyed.
"It was perfectly sound." Shikamaru said, rolling his eyes. "My dream is to simply be entertained."
"Alright." Asuma said, before he was interrupted by Shikamaru.
"You're Sarutobi Asuma. You're currently courting the female sensei of our age group, and you smoke almost all the time. You're a wind user, and you use chakra blades. You're favorite food is sausage, and I believe soba is as well." Asuma stared at him. "Oh, it's obvious!"
"Are you a Genti?" Ino asked, staring at him. "They can read minds, and tell our deepest darkest secret."
"What? No." Shikamaru snapped, looking annoyed. "Asuma-sensei has a bruise on his neck, in the same shape as a pair of lips. It's recent, with a small residue of lipstick around it, red lipstick. Kurenai-sensei had red lipstick earlier, slightly messed up. They were five minutes apart picking us up, so for the bruise to be that recent, it had to have happened within five minutes. He's currently smoking, but from the hint of old tobacco on him, he often does so. You can see the holsters, but you can tell he's wind natured as he does not have the typical burns on his hands from fire natured, nor does he have the typical wet clothes. But he does seem a bit windswept as well."
"And the food?" Asuma asked.
"I've seen you eat at the barbecue place. You always get sausages, and sometimes soba." Shikamaru said. "Now, on to the test you will be giving us..."
Hokage Tower
"He figured out the test, told me I was stupid for trying to do it on them, and then said unless we gave him a real challenge, he'd much rather go off and see what being a missing nin was like." Asuma said, sighing. "I would much rather have him not a villain."
"Well, that answers the bet." Kakashi said, accepting the money from Gai. "I knew you two were dating." Kurenai scowled at Asuma, who blinked, before he realized he'd just admitted they were dating.
"..Sorry." he whimpers.
Grandbabies! The Hokage thought, hiding a grin with his pipe.
"Kurenai?" he asked his son's girlfriend. She sighed in recognition.
Team Eight
...Kurenai stared at the group in front of her. The Hyuuga, who was suppose to be shy, had her head shaved. Tattoo's and scars covered her body, her shirt was just a harness. She wore a pair of baggy pants, and a pair of black combat boots. Her head band was wrapped around her waist.
Kiba wore a fur coat, and was leaning against... a dragon. An honest dragon- a white one with brown ears. Kurenai quickly cast a dispel but it was still there. Kiba had one brown boot, and a fake leg on the other leg, and his headband was around his head.
Shino wore a red and black body suit, with two swords upon his back. His headband was around his head.
After Kurenai introduced herself, she waited for the others.
"I'm Hinata. I fucking hate Cerberus, pussies and the Main Branch. I like Red Sand, fighting, and vandalism. My dream is the destory Cerberus." Hinata said, scowling at Kurenai.
"I am Inuzuka Kiba." Kiba said, sounding nervous. "I like Akamaru," he petted the dragon, which purred. "Inventing and uh... not dying? My hobbies are inventing with Sasuke Shikamaru and Chouji, and flying with Akamaru. My dream is to figure out how to tame every dragon there is."
"I'm Shino! I don't really know why the authoress is even writing this- she isn't even sure! I like chimichangas, Golden Girls, and doorknobs! I dislike the fact the authoress is lazy! My dream is to finally be with Death!"
...i'm not getting paid enough for this.
-0-
Kurenai ran like hell as Hinata glowed blue, throwing things around with it, laughing. Kiba was riding his Akamaru who was blowing fire at them all, and Shino was coming at her, laughing. He caught on fire once, but simply rolled around and regenerated.
"I do not get paid enough!"
The Tower
"Needless to say they passed."
"...Well you definielty have the worst team." said Kakashi, before the Hokage turned to Gai.
"And your team?"
"They changed drastically..."
Team Gai, Earlier
"GOOD MORNING-" began Gai upon reaching the training spot, only to stop. Tenten was wearing a red scarf around her neck, and had on an odd brown jacket, with a strange contraption around her waist. Her headband was on her head, but her hair was down, and shorter.
Neji wore a scowl, and had the same suit as Tenten, but with no scarf. His hair was much, much shorter. He had this distasteful look on his face as he looked at Lee- though that was normal.
Lee wore the same outfit, no scarf, and he looked much more determined.
"YOSH! YOU HAVE EMBRACED THE POWER OF YOUTH!" Gai cried out, thinking about where to get the same outfit. It would be prefrect to wear so he could be part of his team.
"NOW WE MUST TRAIN!"
-0-
Turns out the contraptions enabled them to more or less fly- prefect he could work with that. The blades, he could get.
Lee turning into a giant... yeah, that was harder.
"...THIS IS SO YOUTHFUL!" Gai cried out in joy. Or maybe it wasn't for Gai. "YOU MUST TELL ME WHERE YOU GOT THESE POWERS! LEE YOU MUST TRAIN YOURSELF DILLIGENTLY! WE ARE GENIUSES OF HARDWORK!" Tenten and Neji just trained with their blades, as Lee got a workout in by Gai attacking him, and learning how to dodge.
The Tower
"... Well, I can say that this is going to be an interesting crop."
"Can we have a raise?"
"...Yeah, you probably deserve it."
I was bored. And I have writers block for the novel I'm writing... so yeah.
Anyway, this was kind of one of those 'Extreme Power-up' things.
Sasuke- Ironman. Why? I thought it funny.
Sakura- A jedi. Originally, she was going to be Jack from Mass Effect, but I already had my heart set on Naruto as Anders, and I didn't want to do two Bioware characters on the same team. Also, it's a bit of a 360, a calm Jedi, who won't fall in love, as it is a path to the Dark Side.
Naruto- Anders from Dragon Age. Why? Anders is a blonde man who jokes around...and has a demon inside of him. Why the hell not? I did combine DA:A and DAII for him though.
I was originally just going to do Team Seven, but I thought: Why not, let's have fun! So, here we are!
Ino- Luna Lovegood. She was the first one who popped into my head, and I just went YES! Yeeeees!
Shikamaru- Sherlock Holmes. Geniuses, both relatively unchallenged. The only thing that is different is that Sherlock likes to run around and do things.
Chouji- Bruce Banner- Aka, the Hulk. Because, why not?
Hinata- Jack. Because I love Jack and shy hinata turned into fucking crazy Jack... just yes.
Kiba- Hiccup (And Akamaru to Toothless) Why? Because I thought it would be fun, and it was the first thing that came to me. ANd because DRAGON!
Shino- Deadpool. Because I could not leave the Merc with A Mouth out of this. Just, no.
Tenten- Mikasa. Because both are BAMF women.
Lee- Eren. Because Mikasa was screaming in my head that Eren had to be there.
Neji-Levi. Because it was just to perfect.
Hope you enjoyed this!