Think
I watch him constantly. Not from the corner of my eyes. Not discreetly when I know he's not looking. I'm fairly certain he knows. I'm also fairly certain he can feel it. I'd feel it if I was being watched. It's not that I do it because I'm some kind of freak. Well, that'd be my personal opinion there. Though I don't feel it's a freakish habit. After all, I am right behind him in every fight. My arrows are poised and ready to heal when he's jumped too deep into the enemy lineup. Some might think he's hard to keep track of, with all his flipping around and dancing the battle field like it's a party instead of a brawl. But I follow him with ease, despite these old bones.
I kid. Though I let him call me that, I know I'm not actually that old. I may feel it some times, but thirty-five isn't old anymore. While I may not be in the shape that the younger Swordsman is, I'm certainly not weak. I think he knows this. Or rather, I feel he has to know this. He trusts me with his life in the sense that he's not afraid to drop back in order to recover while I take his place.
He glances back and nods to me and I rain down arrows as if on his command. Being commanded isn't anything I'm unused to, but it's unspoken and understood with Yuri Lowell. Everything is understood. My life is technically in his hands. He is essentially my owner. In more ways than just to the obligatory mercy of Brave Vesperia.
Our battle field is left with nothing alive. That was assumed the moment he steps forward with an arrogant call to "bring it on". Fighting, is his biggest strength and his biggest weakness. He wants for a flawless performance. He is a dancer with danger and a runner with scissors. Everything about him screams some sort of warning. Do not get too close. He would rather push. Push people with potential away from him.
Estelle wants him to love her. He can't. He would break a sweet princess like her. I don't blame him there, however. She's even too sweet for this old man's tastes.
Judith…..ahh sweet beautiful Judith. She has made quite a few advances to Yuri in her time around him. It's painful to imagine he said no to such a gorgeous woman. But Yuri was just like her. She would burn him, no more than he would burn her.
Even his own best friend was subject to the wide open gap between personal connections. Yuri put him on his own plane it seems to me. Something different than him. Far away. Flynn was the righteous version of him after all.
I don't know if that makes me lucky or doomed. As we enters the town, recovering from a day of slaughtering rabid monsters and clearing a safe path for travelers to enter the same town with us, I continue to watch him. His stance is solid. He is level headed in his thinking. No matter how dangerous a path he is taking, he isn't turning back. Whether he turns into a hearty old bastard like me, or into a deadly spiral down like that Zagi fellow, was left for only time to tell.
"Hey old man." His voice is low and sultry.
"Hmm?" I reply, pulling my outer robes off, to set on a chair beside the window of our shared room. Well, my room that he tends to slip into when no one is looking.
"You did pretty good out there today." He compliments. I know that's hard for him. He's very weary to give sincere compliments to me. Not because he dislikes me. At least I think he doesn't. He's given me no reason to believe so.
"Why thank ya, Master. It's a pleasure to serve ya~" I tease him absently. He's expecting that, and I'm delivering it.
"I mean it, old man." He points at me with a smile. A typical Yuri Lowell smile. But, there's a softness in that smile that he has for me that I see absent in its delivery to others.
His arms find their way around my neck. The sparkle in his eyes as leans closer to me gives me a chill that makes me realize all the more how…smitten I am. I spend so much time watching, perhaps I some how fail to notice the distance between us closing up like a tidal wave. Hours slip into the night and I find myself facing the window, with the moonlight dancing in on the bed we share. He is asleep; his back pressed close to my chest and wrapped in the embrace of my arms.
I often wonder if I am a veil. A shadow keeping the demon from springing loose. I once told Yuri and Karol that everyone needs that kind of support to keep from falling into that madness that consumed Zagi, Yuri's once most devout fanatic. In the silence of our shared bed alone, I wonder if perhaps this is just a dream. If I had been just as crazy and unable to handle living when I knew I wasn't supposed to.
But I watch. And he stirs. He knows I'm awake. I know he's awake now. No words have to be said, and no words ever are said. I hope he knows…no, I like to think he knows. I may be a fool for it.
But I will gladly be the devil's advocate for a lifetime of this.
A/N: haha, god I love this pairing. Maybe because it's a lot more plausibly deep to me. Anyway, I guess I just wanted to toss this short piece up while I work on my longer one for this pairing. If anyone is willing to beta read a story of the same pairing. Please message me in some way!