Konichiwa, probably-not-Asian readers. Now, most of you saw the Family Guy episode And Then There Were Fewer Sunday night on FOX. This is the first Family Guy episode to be shown in high quality, plus I scored my first kill in a long time! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! Football!... Anyway, this was a show-changing episode. We lost a few characters.

Stephanie- Really didn't make any difference. Just another one of Quagmire's girlfriends, only more annoying.

James Woods- We shall long mourn the loss of the accomplished actor and former fake dad of me.

Muriel Goldman- The former wife of Mort's death didn't make a difference, either. I mean, she wasn't even in many episodes, she was just a… a background character.

Priscilla- She didn't make a difference, either. Didn't appear in other episodes.

Tom Tucker- Well, he didn't exactly die, he's just in jail or prison. Hey, what's the difference between jail and prison? I never could figure that out… Anyway, he's gone for a while.

Derek Wilcox- Welp, Jillian's boyfriend's dead, giving Brian another chance, you know? A little… romantic comedy. You know? Wicka-wicka-boom-boom-bb-gun!

Diane Simmons- The most show-changing kill. Plus my first kill in a while! Excitement! Click, click! Boom! Sniper rifle! All the way to the-

Brian: Stewie!

Me: Right, right, sorry. Anyway, I'm- I'm glad I left Channel 5 News when I did, you know? Lucky! Lucky luck! Lucky Charms cereal! Wait, wait, stay on track, Stewie. You can do this. Anyway, I would've been shish kebabs on Diane's grill. You know, because she was the killer. I'm lucky I'm alive. Alive. Pearl Jam- ababababababaababa! Sorry, I- I had weird-tasting milk earlier today.

This episode was funny, (like all other Family Guy episodes), plus it mixed in a little drama and mystery. Not many shows can do that so brilliantly. Plus, we found out a little something about some of our characters. You know? Diane Simmons was a murderer, Derek lifted up the Hollywood sign, and James Woods was a born-again Christian. Now, be sure to check out the next episode called Excellence in Broadcasting. It's where Brian meets Rush Limbaugh. That's followed by the episode Welcome Back, Carter, where Lois's dad cheats on his wife. Lots of… lots of drama there. Plus, one more question for all of you: Did I look good in those shorts I wore? Now, I know you're no Stacy London, but just give me your opinion, alright? Now-

Consuela: Meester Stewie, someone ist here to see you.

Me: Oh, really? Who? (Carl walk into my room and sits down) Oh, God!

Carl: Hey, Stewie, have you ever seen Copycat?

Me: (groan) No.

Carl: Well, you should see it. It's really good. Sigourney Weaver plays this doctor chick who was attacked by Harry Connick Jr., and- (2 hours later) Blah-blah-blah-blah, blah-blah-blah-blah-blah.

Me: Are you done yet?

Carl: Yeah, because my ride's here. (Carl runs outside and hops on the backseat of Chris's new tandem bike, which drives away)

Me: Um… anyway, be sure-

Consuela: Meester Stewie, you're out of Oxi-Clean.

Me: Well, that's not my problem, you could just go out and buy your own!

Consuela: No… no. You my boss, so you buy.

Me: Well, as your boss, I command you to buy it, then.

Consuela: No, no, you have more money.

Me: I'm nearly broke!

Consuela: No, no, you have plenty.

Me: (loud groan)!