Disclaimer: No copyright infringement is intended. Harry Potter is the property of J.K. Rowling and I am in no way affiliated with her, and I definitely am not her.
Damn Near Impossible
See, my only real issue with Gryffindors is that they don't like Slytherins very much. So making them fall in love with you? Damn near impossible. This is all Blaise's fault, the git.
He was all, "I'm the Slytherin Prince!"
And I was like, "Yeah, no, that'd be me."
And he was all like, "Well I'm the Slytherin Sex God!"
And I was like, "Dude you're a virgin. We sleep in the same dorm."
And he was like, "Well, you're a whore!"
And I was like, "No I'm not!"
And he was like, "Yes you are!"
And so I was all, "Your mom's a whore, Zabini!"
And he was like, "Take that back!"
And I'm kind of a badass, so I was like, "Make me!"
And he was running out of ideas, so he was like, "Go snog a Mudblood!"
And so I was all spiteful, like, "Maybe I will!"
And he gave me that look and was like, "Maybe you should!"
And I realised I was probably gonna have to, so I was like, "Maybe I don't know any!"
And he was all, "What about Granger?"
And I kinda missed what he was getting at, so I said, "What about her?"
And he totally knew what he was getting at, so he said, "Betcha can't snog her!"
And asking questions defiantly makes you look cool, so I asked, "How much you wanna bet?"
And he's loaded to he was like, "Thirty five thousand galleons!"
And I was like, "Ok, and if I don't I'll give you..." and then I had to think about it for a minute, and I said, "A pair of Ginny Weasley's underpants!"
And he started cracking up and shook my hand.
And then I realised that I'd just agreed to something.
God, Zabini's mom is such a whore.
~x~