The Day I died

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summary: a oneshot of Snape finding Lily dead. His view.

I'm sorry if my English isn't always that good...

I don't own the characters, creatures and all other stuff of the Harry Potter world - it all belongs to JK Rowling.

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I have done this. I have told the Dark Lord about the prophecy. I didn't know, it would be hers. I couldn't even imagine…

I have ask him to let her go. To not kill her. And he promiced me. He did. But did he really give a damn about my thought? Did he care? Did he even listen to me? There is just one way of finding out. He has left an hour ago. I have to go there – I have to see.

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Now I'm here – Godric's Hollow. That's where the headmaster had promised me to hied her. It's a rainy and stormy night. I see the house an – oh no! What's that? A whole in the roof? What happend?

I enter he house. The door has been open. It's so cold in here… Fast I walk up the stairs just to find… Potter. He lies there on the floor – dead. I've seen dead bodys before – but I never knew the people that lay there – sleeping a sleep with no more waking up. I have to swallow. I never liked this guy – but seeing him like that. His eyes still open – looking at me.

I try not to worry about. It's totaly scilent – and I have a bitter feeling what this could meen. I pass Potter just to enter the child's room and…

Oh my… What has… Lily! This… This can't be. THIS CAN'T BE! NO! Lily … LILY! I lose my balance – fall against the wall. For God's sake! What… What have I done? What… what has he done? Didn't he hear me beging – beging just to let her alive. Oh Lily – my dear – my beauty – my love – my life.

I look around. So many things are broken in hear. Lily laying on the floor. Dead. And there… there is… the boy! The boy. What? … He is… just sitting… there. Watching his mother. How could he? How could he still be alive?

I try not to worry that much about him. I can't stand up completely – so I just crawl over to her. Oh Lily – what have I done? I sit behind her – take her into my arms. Her body - cold – lifeless. What did he just do to you? I press her body on mine and I just can't hold back the tears anymore. I start crying loudly. Lily my dear – I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for all I've done.

My whole body is shaking. What's that? LIFE? That's not fair! Life isn't. Why did it happen to her – why couldn't I stop it? I changed sides and I would have done everything to protect her – and now? Is this just life happening? Then I don't want to live anymore. No Lord – I want to die. Please Lord, let me die! What's life without her? How should I live on? Knowing that she doens't – knowing that she just can't – knowing that it all is my fault! I don't want to live anymore – I want to die!

I just sit there for a while that feels like forever, as the boy starts to babble. He looks at me – tears in his eyes. Crying quietly. I still hold his mother close to me. Than I hear something. What's that? Sounds like… someone's entering the house. „Hello?", I can hear a voice and know immediately that it's Rubius Hagrid. I suppose that the headmaster sent him hear.

I have a last look at Lily. „Lily, I love you. I love you so much!", I tell her and give her a last kiss. I take her body and lay it down on the floor – I close her eyes completely. Fort he last time I take her hand. „I love you Lily – I really do.", tears run down my cheeks. I leave a kiss on her hand. Put it on my heart. „I always loved you – and I always will."

That was the last thing I told her before I kissed her hand once more and then placed it on her heart. I stood up – had a short look at her son. „Goodbye Boy", I told him and disappear.

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Back home I am standing in the bathroom. I shore up to the washbasin and look at myself in the mirrow. All the times I did this before I just saw myself – not looking that good – not looking that bad – but now? I'm looking at myself and I just see a stranger, starring back at me. No emotions behind his dark eyes. No feelings on his lips. Not even a propper color in his face.

I'm just standing there and looking at myself – seeing myself – being dead.