Okay, I am back!! I am SOO sorry about all the mix-up that this story has gone through! But now I'm back with the whole plot and new twists. Thank you so much to JazzyKnickers for helping me, this whole story is dedicated to you.

Summary : Love and hate. Hate and love. There are certain rules to them both, but for these two there is no such thing as rules. Going through a series of horrible accidents and probelms, these two will both play an important role in each others' lives. But will they make it?

Disclaimer : If I did own Loveless, it wouldn't be anything like it is today. Keh heh heh.

Ritsuka was lying stomach up on his bed, tail twitching to get out from underneath of him, ears perked up, awaiting Soubi, hands under his head with his elbows sticking out sideways, making it look like a third pair of ears. He was humming to himself as he thought.

Ritsuka's ears twitched, and he looked next to the computer. "Soubi," Ritsuka smiled, and Soubi smiled back.

"You knew I was coming," Soubi said, with a sly smile, "or maybe you were just hoping I was going to come tonight."

"I'm not going to answer that," Ritsuka said childishly, seated Indian style on his bed, making room for Soubi. Soubi took the silent invitation and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Ritsuka, do you love me?" Soubi pondered the thought.

"No," Ritsuka said flatly.

"That's a lie," Soubi scoffed.

"Yes, it is.

"But you don't care."

"Nope."

"Oh, Ritsuka, that's cold. That's really cold," Soubi looked down at his toes, face showing no expression.

"Well, maybe I care," Ritsuka said, a hint of laughter in his voice, and the older man could tell Ritsuka was playing with him. Soubi looked up at Ritsuka, "Tell me the truth, love." Soubi had a strange look in his eyes. Sadness? Ritsuka could not tell with Soubi's poker face, but he thought he could sense sadness. 'Naw,' Ritsuka thought. Soubi cocked his head to one side, staring thoughtfully at the wondering boy. "Ritsuka?"

"Wha-?" Ritsuka snapped out of his trance, his cat ears twitching. "Oh...yeah. Sorry, Soubi. Um," Ritsuka paused, scared, yet happy, about what he was going to say next. He knew Soubi loved him, and not just because Seimei told him to.

"I know what you're thinking, Ritsuka; your nose is scrunched up. I just want to hear you say it...Please," Soubi's normally grey, emotionless eyes were now dull, tired, scared, saddened. Ritsuka shivered, seeing Soubi let him in to his heart, showing him his feelings.

"S-S-Soubi," Ritsuka started, "Soubi, I...I...I love y-y-you." Soubi's eyes turned sparkly, almost sky-blue, and very, very happy. He smiled, but it didn't last long. Ritsuka blushed immensely, then realized he shouldn't. 'Why do I blush,' Ritsuka asked himself, 'whenever I'm around Soubi? Do I love him in more than my ears? In more than one way?'

"Ritsuka, thank you..." Soubi was crying softly. Ritsuka felt very uncomfortable, he had never seen Soubi cry or show any emotion besides amusement. "Soubi?" Ritsuka's voice sounded very odd.

"I'm sorry, Master," Soubi said through silent sobs. 'He's never called me master,' Ritsuka thought, 'or cried. At least not in front of me.' Soubi stood up and walked over to the corner by the computer, sliding down the wall until he was sitting in an almost fetal position. He hugged his knees up to his chin with his arms wrapped around his shins. He hid his face behind his legs and shook with silent tears.

Ritsuka started to get up, but was pushed back on the bed with Soubi's word spell. 'How can he do that? Is it possible now?' Ritsuka thought. He tried to get over to Soubi, but the word spell had him stuck to the bed like invisible glue. "Sou-"

"I'm a ghost, a lonely butterfly. My love is always illusionary, always. Seimei, Ritsuka. I'm just a lowly servant. I'm marked. I burn. I live for no reason but to fight. It's always been that way. I was born to harness power for my master. I have no soul. I have nothing," Soubi kept talking to himself, shaking the whole time. It reminded Ritsuka of how he felt sometimes.

"Soubi," Ritsuka whispered, "Soubi, Soubi? Soubi!!" Ritsuka jumped up, somehow breaking the word spell.

"No, no. He broke it with his words, no," Soubi cried. He pulled a split knife from his pocket, saying 'no' the whole time. 'I did it with my love, not my words,' Ritsuka thought.

"Soubi!! Stop it!" Ritsuka was breaking out into a teary-eyed, screaming fit. He prayed his mom had taken her pills so she wouldn't hear the two. Soubi touched the blade, cutting his finger from nail to knuckle with a smooth flick of his wrist, as if he had done it thousands of times before. Ritsuka noticed for the first time how many scars Soubi had on his hands and arms. "Soubi! No, dammit! Stop! Soubi!" Tears were streaming down Ritsuka's face. To him, it seemed like it was happening in slo-mo. Soubi staring at the bloody blade as he slowly guided it towards his chest. He carved LOVELESS on his chest one painful letter at a time. Then slowly bringing it up to his neck. He placed two, slender fingers on his neck to find his pulse, then put the tip of the blade on the spot where his fingers had just been. He carefully pushed the blade so it cut the skin. Blood trickled out of the small cut.

"No!! I don't want to see another die! I don't want to! Soubi! Stop it! I can't take it! Stop! You're not a ghost! Soubi! Soubi!!! Soubi, I love you! SOUBI!!! I LOVE YOU! NO!!" Ritsuka's screams tore straight through Soubi. 'Word spell? Ritsuka can do word spells?' Soubi thought, 'No, he can't. He is the sacrifice. Now that he is marked, he can't.' Soubi gasped as his hand stopped moving. The blade stuck into his throat, but he couldn't move it any further. He just couldn't move. Ritsuka crawled over to Soubi. "Soubi, Soubi, I love you! Please don't do this to me!" He put his head on Soubi's blood-stained shirt, tears mixing in with the metallic taste of blood. He coughed on the mixture of blood and salty tears, crying himself to sleep with Soubi sitting there, stung to the point where he couldn't move by Ritsuka's words.

Ritsuka fell asleep within the hour, Soubi still not able to move. "Maybe," Soubi whispered aloud to himself in the darkness, "Maybe it wasn't word spells. Maybe it was...it was love. Maybe..." Soubi passed out.

Ritsuka woke up very early the next morning, looking at the clock to see if the alarm was on. He got up to turn it on so he could go back to sleep, but his shirt was stuck on something sticky. He looked at his side and his jaw dropped as he remembered what had happened earlier that night.

Soubi was out cold. Ritsuka's heart started to thump loudly in his chest. He put a soft finger on Soubi's wrist to find his pulse, if he had one.

Ritsuka let out a breath he hadn't even known he was holding when he found a soft, but steady, pulse. He leaned back against the dried blood on Soubi's chest and slipped out of his sweater. He stood up, shivering. Not of the cold, but of the shock. Ritsuka walked over to his closet and grabbed another sweater. He walked over to the bedside table and opened the drawer, looking for his pocket knife.

Ritsuka picked up the small knife and walked back over to Soubi. He sat down and began to pick at the dried blood between his sweater and the small piece of fabric that was stuck on part of his sweater that had once been Soubi's shirt. After about ten minutes of doing this, he finally got the two pieces apart. Ritsuka was thinking of a way to get his sweater off of Soubi to care for the wounds, but couldn't think of any way that he could do that without cutting Soubi in the process. He finally decided with getting some baking soda to rub on the crusty, maroon-colored blood.

Ritsuka was rummaging through the cabinet when he heard a thump coming from his room. He grabbed the baking soda he had just found and ran upstairs to his room.

"Soubi?" Ritsuka hadn't even reached his room and that was the first thing that came to his mind. "Soubi? Soubi?"

Ritsuka was in the doorway to his room. "Soubi! Ohmigod! Don't ever do that again! You scared me!" Ritsuka was crying at seeing his true love trying to sit up, still alive after what he had done.

Soubi smiled weakly, "Was that...an order?" he whispered.

"Yes." Ritsuka quickly walked over to the blonde-haired man and hugged him gently. "Soubi, we have to get you to a hospital so they can take that knife out. If they don't, it'll never come out." Another white-hot flash of reality raced through Ritsuka's mind, like it had when he had found Seimei dead.

"No."

"What? Why not?"

"If we do...they'll ask how it...happened. We can't...tell them it was...me. I'd be sent...to a...a mental institution...If we tell them someone else...did it...we'd have to...describe the...person and someone...innocent...would be hurt."

"What should I do?"

"Call...Kio."

"Well, only if he'll help," Ritsuka was thinking about Kio, whom he didn't really care for, taking care of his precious Soubi. "OK, Soubi." Soubi gave Ritsuka Kio's number, and asked him to come help.

"Oh shit!" Kio said as he walked into Ritsuka's room. Ritsuka was glad his mother had left before he had even woken so she'd make her flight for her trip to America to visit some relatives for the week.

"Hi to you, too, Kio," Soubi said quietly. It was surprising he could even talk.

"Sorry," Kio said, even though he and everyone else knew he didn't really mean it. Kio looked from Ritsuka, to Soubi, and then back to Ritsuka. "How did that," Kio pointed to Soubi, "happen? Somebody better start explaining or ain't pulling any damn thing out of anyone."

Soubi looked at Ritsuka with a question of truth-or-not smile. Ritsuka nodded, signaling truth. Soubi looked back at Kio and said weakly, "Ritsuka...But, it wasn't...his fault. It was...mine. My throat hurts, I can't...talk much."

Ritsuka finished for him, filling in the details. When he finished, Kio scoffed, acting tough, but in his eyes was a deep pain. 'Is he hurt for his friend, or because he has proof now that Soubi loves me?' Ritsuka was deep in thought.

"Soubi," Kio stated, trying to keep his cool, "this kid really made you do that? Does he really mean that much to you?" Soubi tried to nod. Kio continued, "Then, I guess if it's a friend who needs relationship help, then that's what I'm going to do, you silly bastard." Kio smiled.

Soubi sat up with a little help from the swivel chair near the computer. 'He's being way too nice,' Soubi thought.

"BUT DON'T DO THAT EVER THE HELL AGAIN!!!!" Kio screamed.

"I was right, he wasn't happy with this," Soubi muttered under his breath. Kio walked over, asking Ritsuka for the baking soda that he was still holding on to. Ritsuka rolled it over to Kio. Kio opened the bottle and poured some of the liquid into the cap, swirling it around as he did so. He poured the baking soda slowly onto Soubi's neck, who was now cringing through the masochistic part of him.