A/N: Ooo, i've been a busy bee haven't i? Oh, that's a rubbish title, don't use that title... ANYWAY! Crack!Fic, Bloopers, What ever you want to call it I'VE DONE IT. This shows the extent of my boredom it 1:15 am.

Disclaimer: I'm writing fanfic for enjoyment. Really.

Midnight, Ep 8, s4. ACTION!

Scene 3, take 1.

DOCTOR: I'll be back for dinner. We'll try that anti-gravity restaurant. With bibs.

DONNA [OC]: Its a date.

DONNA: Well, not a date. Oh you know what i mean. Oh get off!

DOCTOR: I never said anything...

DONNA: Alright, i'm done. *drops phone*

DOCTOR: Wait, Donna! You can't leave yet, you have to wait until i've been on a life threatening trip and return deeply affected by the events, in which you later comfort me—

DONNA [OC]: QUIT WHINING MARSHON BOY AND COMFORT YOURSELF.

DOCTOR: I TOLD YOU, I'M NOT FROM MARS—Oh you know what, just, just forget it.

DIRECTOR: Well done Doc, that's what, the fifth time this week?... can someone get her back? Please? I-I don't know what to do, I just direct things, I DID NOT DIRECT THIS. *Begins sweating nervously*

Xx

Scene 9, Take 1.

DOCTOR + SKY: Just stop it, all of you. Stop it, please. Now then, Sky. Are you Sky? Is Sky still in there? Mrs Silvestry? You know exactly what I'm going to say. How are you doing that? Roast beef. Bananas. The Medusa Cascade. Bang! Rose Tyler, Martha Jones, Donna Noble, Tardis. Shamble bobble dibble dooble.

DOCTOR: Oh, Doctor, you're so handsome—Wait, wait a minute, she's not repeating! She stopped! OH MY GOD, SHE STOPPED I FIXED IT, I AM EXTREMELY CLEVER!

SKY: Who said you fixed it?

DOCTOR + SKY: Y-you stopped! Wait, that's not right... you'd stopped you can't just not stop, that's not fair! SHE'D STOPPED! Fine fine, Oh Doctor—

DOCTOR: —How'd you get such amazing hair—

DOCTOR + SKY: —SHE STOPPED AGAIN. What you- I- WHAT! STOP ITT. OH MY GOD STOP IT, I'VE NEVER BEEN MORE INFURIATED, JUST STOP. STOP. NO. STOPPPPP.

*Doctor screams in irritation. He's hit breaking point. He pushes the open button on the door, leaps out, and it shuts behind him. Everyone stares after him silently.*

DIRECTOR: So, yeh, he just leaped into Xtonic sunlight, probably won't regenerate and— What sorry? *Presses finger to earpiece* Its alright guys we managed to get him out before to much damage was done—Hmmm, ah ok.—Ok, so we had to drug him and yeesh, have you ever seen a Timelord high? No? Well you're about to see—

DOCTOR: I'MMM BACK! YOU MISS ME?

DOCTOR + SKY: COURSE YOU DID—Ohhh, SKYYYYY I MISSED YOU THE MOST!

*Runs up to sky and grabs her in a very tight hug.*

SKY: H-HEL-L-LP-P.

DIRECTOR: Yeh, urm can we get some help over here? Urm— *Two really big security guards pry The Doctor off sky*—Yeh, thank that'll do just, just put him down there, yep.

SKY: I'M OUT, NOPE. I CAN'T.

DONNA [OC]: I FEEL YA GIRL.

DIRECTOR: No, sky! Come on! Wait! Remember that mimosa I bought you that one time? Sky? SKY!— CAN SOMEONE GET HER BACK HERE?

DOCTOR: Youu guyyyysss. You crack me up. *Starts regenerating*

DIRECTOR: OHHH SHIIIIT. No, nooo, nope, someone stop that aswell! Doc, it's about 6 episodes to early for that honey— OH FOR GODS SAKE I HATE MY JOB.

Xx

Scene 9, take 2.

DOCTOR: How are we? Everyone alright?

*A flash, a glimpse of — ROSE. To CAMERA. Desperate, mute, but mouthing 'Doctor!'*

PROFESSOR HOBBES: ...Earthquake must be..— Wait, Doctor did you just see that?!

DOCTOR: What? *Turns to TV screen— Its blank.* There's nothing there!

*As soon as he turns away, it flashes back onto Rose.*

DEE DEE: That! There was like, like a girl! I- I think she was calling for you, it was on mute...

DOCTOR: *Looks back at TV screen, as soon as he does it flashes off again. Turns back* THERE'S NOTHING THERE!

*TV screen, Flashes back onto Rose. This time full volume.*

ROSE: DOCTOR! DOCTORRR!

DOCTOR: *He looks back to TV screen but again its blank.* Ok, who's messing with me? Is this some kinda sick, human joke? Did Nerris set you up for this? Hang on, she's not my friend...

HOSTESS: OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD— WE'RE TRYING TO SAVE THE SOULS OF MILLIONS OF FANGIRLS WHO WILL BE SCREAMING THE WORDS ROSE TYLER DESPERATELY AT THEIR SCREENS, DOCTOR—

ROSE: *TV screen again* —DOCTOR, WOULD YOU JUST TURN AROUND— NOPE, nope I'm done, Donna gimme the dope I'm in

DIRECTOR: Oh my god, again, really? Do you all just hate me? I have toiled to reach this height in my career, and this is the respect I get– wait. *Presses finger to ear* Actually it's ok, she doesn't show up until near the end of this season so—

RIVER: Spollliiieerrrrrs!

DOCTOR: Wait is that— RIVER? YOU DIED! I SAW YOU DIE— WHAT THE HELL! GUYS! IT' !

RIVER: *Rolls eyes* Can we just skip to season 5 now?

DIRECTOR: Yeh, urm, speaking of, River you're not actually supposed to be here— Wait how'd you even get here?...

RIVER: Sp—

DIRECTOR: OH NO, NO, WE GET ENOUGH OF THAT FOR 3 SEASONS.

DOCTOR: Spoilers.

*Everyone stares at him*

RIVER: Did you just steal my thing?

DOCTOR: I'm just saying, technicall—

SKY: OH MY GOD, IT'S MOVED ONTO HIM, HE REPEATED HER!

*Everyone starts panicking, hiding under seats, prying at the walls.*

DIRECTOR: Wait, that's later, la-la, later! Guys, save it for. Oh forget it.

RIVER: I, I don't have anything to say—

DIRECTOR: Oh surprise! Go home River.

*Another TARDIS materializes*

DIRECTOR: What it the name of—

ELEVENTH DOCTOR: Helloooo! Ah, River, knew it was you who left that etching in the windscreen out there. Come along Pond!

AMY [OC]: OI, I THOUGHT THAT WAS ONLY FOR ME— Oh wait shes my Dau—

RIVER, ELEVEN AND DIRECTOR: SPOILERS!

DIRECTOR:*Calmly but obvious she's fuming* River, why is the Doctors Eleventh self here?

RIVER: *Shurgs* You told me to go home... my future self made that easier for you

TEN: Is that supposed to be me?

ELEVEN: Ooo now, that's spoilers. *Grabs River* Come along dear!

*TARDIS De-materializes*

DIRECTOR: *Cries*

SECURITY GUARD: Ma'am, would you like us to call a wind screen repair for your car?