AN: Wow, this really sucks, but I needed to vent out my feelings after No Going Back. This (obviously) has spoilers and is rated T because of Luke's (and others) language.

One moment he was crossing the ice, the next he was slipping into a dark fate, begging for Clem and Bonnie to stay back.

Luke knew this was a bad idea. He had done plenty of risky and rather foolish things in his lifetime but he was able get through it, without succumbing to madness or death like so many others before him. Now with his bruised (hopefully not broken) ribs and a bullet wound in his leg, he knew if he crossed this lake and fell in, there was no going back.

The second he heard that alarming sound, the sudden and sharp crack, he knew he was a freaking goner. Despite knowing and even viewing the crack rapidly growing beneath him, he prayed to any freaking deity that he was imaging things again. This... Just all of this shit is has to be a nightmare, a horrific illusion. The last few years had to be a bad dream. Nick, Pete, Charlene, and his parents were all healthy and breathing, right?. And there was definitely not a crack, where one obviously was forming. Oh God, who is he kidding?

Luke made a choked sound in his throat, because this was it for him. The end. He had come all this fucking way for nothing. Everyone from his original group was dead because of him. He couldn't deny it, hell no one could.

He was soon going to be joining them.

He saw Clem and Bonnie turn around at the sound of the ice cracking beneath him. They both glanced over at each other, worry in their eyes, probably thinking among the same lines as him. He's done for.

Bonnie was preparing to run over to him without second thought, probably not realizing the ice would surely then crack beneath both of their weights and lead to their deaths.

"Don't come over here. "

Bonnie paused, again looking over at Clem.

"Hey, I can make it. It-It's fine," He said, trying to not sound worried, while on the inside he was absolutely terrified.

"You sure?" Bonnie asked, clearly doubting him.

"Yeah," Even though the only thing he was sure of was that he was going to die, because it was just his goddamn luck that he could hear walkers approaching and stumbling onto the lake. Every snap and crack echoed through out the ice and into his mind, seemingly taunting Luke as he cringed at every sound he heard.

"You got walkers on the way, let me help you-"

What Luke really wanted to say was, Bonnie don't let your crush on me get you killed, because I am damn not worth it. His actual plea was, "It's too thin for both of us," which was also true. He tried moving, but the ice snapped even more under his weight.

Okay, steady now. I, uh- I can do it! Well at least try to... "I just… I just gotta be care-FUL!"

SHIT!

The ice broke apart underneath his left leg. In a matter of seconds he went from standing shakily on the ice to being half-submerged into water. Really fucking freezing, cold water, his injured leg completely inside of the lake now, and just goddamn it all. All he could do now is make sure Clem and Bonnie didn't go after him.

"Luke, no!"

Clem and Bonnie dashed to reach him, ignoring what he said earlier.

"Stop! Stop!"

Fuck, fuck, FUCK!

He could hear the growls of the walker behind him, not caring whenever he was soon going to be half-frozen, and not lukewarm anymore. Damn why is he making puns at a time like this. All those shitheads knew was that he was live, fresh meat and that they were very hungry.

"I'm fine, I'm fine!" Luke yelled at them, because he was not going to let them die for him like his parents, and like so many of his friends had.

"No, you're not!" Bonnie cried out, panic clearly sketching her and Clem's face.

"I just gotta pull myself out."

"You need help, Luke!"

"The ice is too thin. I got it." If he could help it, no one was going to die today on his watch. Besides himself, he thought, then shook his head as if that would rid of the negative thought.

"You need to help!" Bonnie told Clem, telling her to exactly what Luke didn't want to hear.

"No! You're gonna fall through!"

"Clem, go! Go help him!"

"No, Clem, Do not!

"Clem, just go back from him. You're light. You can do it."

Goddamnit. "Stop telling her that! Clem! Look at me. Pull out your gun and shoot those damn walkers, okay? Just give me a little time."

"Clem, you can make it. But you need to go! Now!"

Clem quickly looked back and forth between Bonnie and Luke, before she decided whose advice to follow.

She took one step forward, while Bonnie started shooting the walkers.

Clem slowly made his way over to him, ignoring Mike and Kenny's cries. He tried pulling his leg out, but he knew this was it for him. All he could do now was make sure that Clem headed back.

"Just go back. Please… p-" Luke begged, yet she still kept coming towards him.

"I got you."

"Please…" He shook his head, wishing this wasn't happening, that he wasn't about to sink into the icy depths of this lake and possibly cause this valuable girl to die too.

"It's gonna be alright."

Despite his warnings, she reached her hand out to take hold of his. Just as their hands were about connect, being the stupid optimist he was, he thought, maybe I do have a chance. Then, the ice and his hopes both shattered into a million pieces.

It was cold. So fucking cold. He could feel the pressure of the water all around him, barely being able to see in this pit of death. The presence of his looming death that was now going to take him like it did with so many of his friends. He couldn't move his leg, or anything. He felt like he was frozen in time. All he could do was… think.

He thought of all those dark times. The ones when he felt like ending his life could make him happy, not having to worry and kill all the time just to survive this horrendous world. To just be free in the bliss of the unknown of whatever was waiting for him, beyond this hell-ridden universe. All of those thoughts seemed so dumb now, because he didn't want to die.

He saw what depression did to people. Finding Nick in the shed one night about a year ago, pressing a gun to his temple, with streams of tears and apologies flowing from him. Only being able to stop him by having to coax him for an hour, explaining his mother's death wasn't his fault, fuck no one was or would ever be held accountable for Charlene's death.

Bonnie sobbing into his shoulder, in a dingy closet at the back of Howe's, after telling him about that 'good-for-nothing Leland,' and so many traitors, regrets, and broken promises throughout her lifetime, even before the apocalypse.

Clem telling him about her chilling conversation with Kenny, about him seeing his close to death encounter as some sort of sick form of relief, only wanting to be free of the thoughts of his past family and girlfriend.

He was fucking terrified, because even though at times he wanted to just end it all… He didn't want to die. Sinking slowly, because damn it all he couldn't see well and needed to a find a… Oh my god, there was the spot he fell in through, if he could get there fast enough, he could get someone to help pull him out-

But wait.

Where was Clementine?

He wasn't going to leave her behind, like he cowardly did with Sarah, which almost cost her life. Just thank god Clem was able to get Sarah to move, or he didn't know how he could live with himself. Not that he did much better later that day, as his fooling around with Jane caused them to be unprepared for the horde, which did lead to her demise.

But fuck... he didn't want this. All he truly desired was to see the light of each new day, smiles on everyone's faces, and hear the glorious sound of laughter that they had all experienced the night before.

And in that moment Luke realized he wanted to live, no doubt about it, because even though the world may be shit, it's all he's got and all he'll ever receive. In life there are no refunds, and even if something is crappy there are always small things you can appreciate.

Like friends, family, the possibility of love and hope, and if you're lucky enough, a true reason to live. Or in this case, just being able to take breath of air without his lungs filling up with water just seemed like a dream, as he looked around to find the girl who came back for him.

He forced himself to suck it up (not literally) and move, which he did, turning around to see Clem trying to kick a walker that was holding her leg. Luckily she was victorious in her task and started to swim up towards the surface when a walker was swimming towards her, about to grab her.

Oh shit.

Luke dived forward, clutching the walker and pushing it down, away from Clementine. Then all he saw above him was a sunlight coming from the hole Clem created, and for a second hope warmed his insides because he wasn't going to die, thanks to C-.

His rise upwards was interrupted, as a weight pulled him down. He could feel the bony hand clutching his ankle, taking away his chance of living for at least another day. His lungs burned, as he tried desperately to swim upwards and take a much needed breath of air. The corners of his vision were turning blurry; the only thing in his eyesight was Clem staring in shock at the scene, staying frozen as she watched Luke get pulled into the murky depths.

He couldn't think clearly, he couldn't breathe. Only one thought raced around in his mind.

Please look away, please look away, you don't need to see another-

Luke could only see darkness and feel the pressure of water around him, literally sinking his soul.

Water. Freezing cold. Surrounding him. Killing him.

He desperately tried to take a breath in a last-ditched effort. There was no air though, only emptiness.

...

Luke lurched up coughing, gasping for a breath of air that he quickly found. He clutched the blanket on his body-

Wait a second. What the hell?

He looked around him, and he didn't see not the bottom of a frozen lake or his and Nick's room at group's cabin He saw the last place he thought that he would never see again.

Why... Why was he in his house?

He was in his living room, and there was no signs of the rotten corpses nor the blood of his undead parents.

He put his fingers up to neck, breathing slowly to check for a pulse that was supposed to absent.

Except it wasn't.

Luke heard a noise from the other room, and froze, expecting a walker or a bandit to come waltzing in and murdering him on sight.

He wasn't expecting to see Nick standing in the doorway, his signature cap on his head, his blue eyes locked on Luke.

How? Clem and Jane told him he was dead But wasn't he as well? Yet he had a pulse, and he was pretty damn sure that he didn't have a pair of wings on his back and a shining halo.

"N-nick?"

"Hey asshole."

Ah classic Nick. He'd missed that. Even though it had only been a few days since he had last seen Nick alive, breathing a bit heavily from his wound, but ready to assist in finding the other members in the group, it felt like a lifetime ago.

"Um... Nick... Are we in hell?"

Nick chuckled. "Why in the hell would you think that?"

"We're both dead... and you're here soooo..."

Nick walked over and sat down next to Luke.

"First of all, are you okay? I've known things have been shitty, but-"

Luke sighed, "I swear I'm not crazy! I-"

"Luke, I know you're not... well, not entirely. What I don't know if were actually 'dead' or not, but we died. F-Fuck we died. I can still sometimes feel the bullet piercing my skin or those bites... Just fuck, I don't know, man."

"Nick..." He took a deep breath "I am so fucking sorry. I know you'll never be able to forgive me, fuck I wouldn't blame ya! I was so stupid to think you were gonna be fine, I didn't even notice you got shot. I'm-"

Nick quickly moved closer to Luke, pulling him into a hug.

"Don't blame yourself for the inevitable. "

Luke let out a shaky breath, clutching to Nick, terrified that if he let go that all of this would disappear.

"I've missed you. Nothings been the same since... you know..."

"I've missed you too, asshole."

Luke released his grip on Luke, smiling slightly. "I guess one bonus in all this crazy shit being able to see you again."

"Hey, are you telling me that seeing me is not always a bonus?"

"Maybe..." Luke teased, wiggling his eyebrows.

Nick grinned, "This is just like old times..."

Luke grinned back at him. "Ah yes, I remember the days of our youth, getting drunk off our asses and trying to blame it on each other. Very good times, to be honest," His tone dripping with sarcasm.

"The absolute best." Nick replied.

"On the topic of better days, where is everyone else?" Luke jolted up, rising off couch and motioning Nick to follow him.

Nick did, scratching the back of his head nervously. "Um... I haven't seen anyone from the group, besides, you know... well, you in a few years..."

Luke choked on air (which he would much rather do than freezing water)."YEARS?"

"Yea... I've been here for a while. I don't think people get to come wherever the hell we are until their brain is destroyed, or their reanimated form is killed."

"So my reanimated form didn't get killed until recently?"

"That's what it would seem like. I've been here awhile because of Clem..." Nick trailed off.

Luke looked shocked. "H-How do you know that? You were dead already when she killed you, right?"

"Yea... I already turned by the time she found me. I know because I watched it." Nick pointed to the T.V. "We can watch any event in the present or past that involves Clem on there. We're able to see all of her thoughts and memories... it's like we're directly connected to her."

"That's kind of strange... but does that mean she's still alive?"

"Yea, the little midget sure did grow up... well she's still growing, fifteen years and counting."

Luke sighed in relief, "That's great to know. What about the others?"

"Mike, Bonnie and Arvo ditched the group the night you... you know... Clem shot Kenny after he tried to kill Jane because he thought she lost the baby in a snowstorm. She was actually just trying to prove to Clem that Kenny was dangerous. Despite her plan almost backfiring on her she did convince Clementine and AJ to travel with her to Howe's. They've built a community there. Been staying there for a few years with a large group of survivors, with Jane and Clem as co-leaders."

"She killed Kenny? She was so damn loyal to him, despite the mistakes he made... but wow."

"Yea, but on the other note I saw you got yourself a girlfriend in my absence."

"So you saw Clem finding Jane and I finishing up our..."

"Fucking. Yea, I saw. Which was funny as shit, but it did end up getting Sarah killed. That was not cool."

"It's not like i wanted Sarah to die! It's just... fuck man, my feelings were overwhelming, everyone we were traveling with died within a few days because of me! Pete. Alvin. Carlos. Sarah. Rebecca. You... I-I could have done something, but I didn't. I'm a coward who just wanted a distraction, even if it was stupid."

Nick sighed. "We've all made mistakes, but... we'll talk about this later... No need to ruin this 'magical' moment. Anyway, you have to meet some of the people here. There's a grumpy, old guy who never shuts up about his daughter, a pretty nice woman and her son... They were Kenny's family. That guy Clem talked about a lot and his girlfriend... " Nick and Luke started walking to the front of his house, with Luke glancing around in amazement. The last time he had been in his house was when he had to kill his undead parents, but now there was no blood splattered on the walls or rotting corpses staring at him with soulless eyes. "There's apparently more people as well, but this land is freaking huge. It's everywhere Clem has ever been, which is like half of America. I've tried for years to find anyone from the group, so when I saw you on the couch with that stupid face of yours that you make when you're confused... I... I thought I really had gone insane, maybe seeing an illusion or some shit like that."

Luke stopped, staring at a picture of him and his family on the tan wall. Nick continued walking and talking, before noticing that his best friend wasn't by his side. He turned around and approached Luke slowly, whose back was facing him.

"Luke?"

"You said only anyone connected to Clem is here, right?"

"Yea..." Nick answered, unsure of the direction this was heading to.

"Then my parents... they're... they're not here. I won't get to see them again... apologize for all of my crazy shit."

Nick gently placed his hand on Luke's shoulder. "No.. they're probably not. My mom isn't here either. All we can do is hope they're also resting in peace somewhere."

He turned around to face Nick, his usually bright eyes darkening a bit. "Yea... yea... Um, let's go. I'd rather not stick around this place. Anyway we've got a meet and greet to attend." He said with a slight laugh, attempting to cover up the frown that was previously occupying his face.

They both headed out the front door, with one hiding his trying to hide his pure joy, the other his sorrow.