I Get A Hot Guy For My Birthday – Oh, And I Can't Touch Him
Author's Note: This is my first Kane Chronicles story, so I hope you enjoy it! If I write any thing wrong, please pardon me. I haven't read Serpent's Shadow. It is quite short. Sorry 'bout that.Everything recognisable is RickRiordan's. Thank you for reading! And please review! By the way, to those who reviewed the first draft, sorry for all the mistakes. I didn't have time to proofread before I put it online, and my computer had some problems with capital letters... I've corrected them now.
IT'S SADIE KANE here. Some of you may remember me from the Apophis thing, but I swear, it was Set who caused that major shutdown on Washington. We succeeded in stopping Apophis, and... That snake we're talking about? It's not him. It's, well, something worse. From another place. [Carter says it's called a dimension, like I care.] But I'd better start at the beginning. I don't want to freak you out too much.
I slumped down on my bed, switching on my old iPod. "My fourteenth birthday, and nobody's around except for Khufu," I grumbled. "Wonderful." When I woke up, Amos had just called to wish me a hurried happy birthday, and hung up with some magician yelling about some stupid tsunami in Japan. Maybe Sobek was messing around with me just to get back at me for the crocodile incident a few years back.
Even seeing Walt these few days had been... Tense. Yeah, tense. Ever since he'd started dating Jaz, I'd been having weird dreams about strangling him. I mean, full-out throttling. Though maybe I shouldn't have said that with my goody-two-shoes brother. [Ha! Missed me!] Hmm, I think my aim's better than Carter's.
Anyway, thank God Walt and Jaz's gone out for today. I wasn't sure I could get within a few feet of him without Ha-di'ing him into a million peices.
Our other trainees... Well, they were away pursuing their own interests and quests. Great. Even Philip of Macedonia, our friendly resident protector-crocodile-shabti-thingy, was off with Alyssa to get polished.
The TV in the Great Room was on, with Khufu watching ESPN and barking a lot. I think he was cussing, which bothered me. I mean, the understanding-baboon-speak part. If I was starting to get his language, I was going to puke.
Bast was out scouting, while Carter was engaged in progress for his pitiful love life. Basically, dating Zia.
I was so lost in my thoughts, I almost jumped out of my skin when I felt a hand on my shoulder.
"Sadie."
I whirled around, wand flying out of my pocket into my hand, and came face-to-face with a tall, pale boy, with black clothes and gorgeous brown eyes. He held up his hands. "Whoa!"he said.
"A-Anubis?"I stammered, dropping my wand and very aware that I was dressed in ratty clothes that probablyy didn't compliment his image of me. [Carter says I always look like that. Thank you Carter, now will you just shut up, or do I have to close your mouth for you?]
Where was I? Ah yes, Anubis. My heart thudded as I stared into his beautiful brown eyes. Was he here to wish me a happy birthday, maybe whisk me off to see a funeral? Hmm.
He put down his hands. "Happy birthday."
"W-Why are you here?"
His eyes darkened, and he said sombrely,"Osiris sent me."
"Oh." I still had trouble visualising my dad, Julius Kane, as the all-powerful, somewhat-alive god of the underworld.
Anubis sat down on my bed. I shifted, uncomfortably conscious of how close we were to each other. " I bring you a quest from your father."
I groaned. "No, I've had enough with the whole Apophis fiasco. Anyway, how am I supposed to go alone? I'd get -"
"I'm coming with you," Anubis interrupted my rambling, and in the blink of an eye, we were in the Hall of Judgement.
Dad looked surprised, but probably not as surprised as Ammit, his pet monster, whom I crashed right into. His head whipped up, and he would've taken a chunk out of me were it not for Anubis, who snapped his fingers. Ammit scampered towards him, growling at me for good measure.
"Thanks!" I said to Anubis. He grinned.
"Can't have Ammit falling sick after being poisoned by contact with your flesh, can I? He has a job to do."
I rolled my eyes. "Oh, very funny." I stood up and dusted myself off. Then I noticed a young boy standing beside my father's throne. "Who's that?"
Anubis' smile vanished. "this is Yadun. He's taking my place here while I help you,"he said in a dangerously calm voice.
Yadun bowed and faced me. He looked about eleven years old, with long, thin fingers and ice-blue eyes. His skin was the colour of oiled teakwood, and his hair was silvery-gold. It could have been a trick of the light, but I thought I saw his eyes gleam as he looked at me.
Osiris nodded to him. He bowed again and backed out of the room. My dad turned to me and smiled. "Welcome, Sadie, sweetheart."
"Child of Thoth," Anubis murmured.
Dad nodded. "I brought you here for a reason, Sadie." He opened his hand, and a golden cube and a silver cube materialised in front of me. I took a step back. The ghostly image seemed to glow with power.
"These are the cubes of Osiris,"he told me. I took a closer look, and noticed that there was a familiar hieroglyph on it, the symbol of Osiris. "Isn't that the Jedi, or something..." I muttered. Then I realised that I'd just exhibited my vast knowledge of Egyptian mythology... Not. Dad coughed.
"It is called the djed, the spine of Osiris," he reminded me. "Oh, yeah," I muttered, but, seriously, isn't having one Wikipedia for a son quite enough? I wasn't ready to be a dictionary like Carter.
"The cubes were made to contain the power of Osiris. They're very much like the old relics this way." He paused, and looked at me. A memory passed between us – the Rosetta Stone blowing up; the incident that had started this whole mad Egyptian adventure. "They are like... Storage bins, I suppose you could say. I deposited power into them." I arched an eyebrow. "So?"
"They're missing." Dad dropped his bomb.
"What?" I gasped.
Anubis nodded seriously. I looked at him, and I was so anxious, my heart didn't even flutter. "So you're telling me... Is it Set again?"
"Might be," Dad said carefully. "But then again, it might be someone messing around to make us think it was Set."
"So where do I start?" I questioned. "Should I get Carter?"
For a moment, Dad's eyes betrayed guilt, then it vanished. "No, he has... Another part to play." He said the words bitterly, as if regretting something. "Anubis will go with you. You will need the powers of a god now that you're not with Isis anymore, and his powers may prove handy. You should go to Thoth. He may help."
"H-Hang on," I stammered. "Why can't you ask Horus or Isis?"
Dad stiffened. "It is... importunate that we keep this a secret from the other gods. It would not bode well if they knew I was weak at the moment. And Horus has... his own troubles." [And no, Carter, I didn't know importunate means important, but I didn't need the dictionary definition!]
Before I could ask any more questions, Dad cast an uneasy glance at Anubis, then waved his hand. "Go back and get ready. I will deal with Carter." A portal appeared on the far wall, and it sucked me and Anubis right inside.
I really hate portals. Portals of time, portals of transportation, portals into the Duat, whatever. And I especially hate sand all over the floor of my posh Brooklyn room!
Thank whichever god oversaw embarrassing incidents that could totally ruin my life that I saw my open closet door before Anubis did. I slammed it shut, thereby hiding the poster of him in jackal form.
Anubis landed on his feet. How unfair is that? I crashed down onto the floor in an undignified heap of sandy black clothes. He glanced coolly around my room, as if nothing had happened, then stepped outside and said over his shoulder,"Call me when you're ready."
I heaved a sigh of relief and stripped off my ugly, one-size-too-small suit, pulling on a brown T-shirt with the words,'God, You're Stupid', and caramel tights. I buckled on a leather belt and a velvet jacket, then pulled on my signature combat boots, brown this time. Now I was all set if I needed to camouflage in a muddy bog. Or maybe a muddy caramel bog.
I pinned a note to my bed, telling Carter where I'd gone, and reminding him not to steal my apple toffees. Boy, did he love them. Sadly, he'd run out. Unfortunately for him, the only ones left in the house were those I kept in a glass bowl on my desk. I counted them carefully to make sure I'd know if any were missing, told myself not to act like an ass – Sorry, a donkey – and opened the door.
Anubis was looking at a painting I'd hung outside my door. It had my name in English and hieroglyphs, and was (badly) decorated, with swirls of colour and baboon footprints, where Khufu had tried to help in his own baboon way.
He started as I opened the door and stared at him. "Ready?" I asked sweetly, just to tell him that I did NOT appreciate people who lollygagged around.
Anubis nodded, and we hopped into the 5-second express train to Almost Certain Death.
Requests: Can anyone who knows Arabic (Whoops, sorry for the previous mistake! Thanks, Choeunmee!) think of a good name for the evil villain? And I'm a big girl, so don't hesitate to give bad reviews! Though good reviews are accepted. Yes, definitely accepted. ;)
Author's Note: This is my first Kane Chronicles story, so I hope you like it! Thanks for reading!