Just something I found lying around my document manager. Previously only published to The Magnificent Alliance of Joe Obsessed Revolutionaries. (The M.A.J.O.R. Yes, we were around before the promotion.)

Opening Scene from Episode 3x07: Common Ground

I have a tendency to do well under pressure.

This fact has been discovered and ruthlessly exploited by members of the SGC and here on Atlantis, causing me to be set up time and time again to be expected to save out sorry hides.

While most of these situations are impossible, I manage to pull off every one, (with almost no help, I might add), causing me to be even more underappreciated. These miraculous feats are passed off with a "Nice Going, Rodney," or "I knew there was a reason we kept you around," or, in a few particularly infuriating instances: "Cutting it a little close, aren't you?"

Let me set something straight: While I often do cut things, 'A little close,' this is by no means a way to set myself up as a hero, as is believed by many. Trust me, if there are fifteen minutes to disarm a bomb, that, if detonated, would take me with it, I will Not wait fourteen minutes and fifty-seven seconds to disable it. That way, if by some miniscule chance I was not able to deactivate it, I would spend the rest of the fifteen minutes getting as far the hell away as I could.

Anyway, the pressure was definitely on by myself and every other member of my team to once again save our asses by dialing up Atlantis and getting us out of the ambush we had waltzed into. I, unlike the other members of my team, am not an athlete. (To be completely honest, my secret shame is that I graduated High School with only a 4.85 GPA. I got a B in my music classes and Ds in Gym.) So when told to "Go Faster," I don't know why my ego permitted me to blurt out an admission to my own lousy performance.

Yet, when at a moderately fast rate, I managed to reach the DHD and being dialing yet another order to pick up the pace annoyed me to the point of snapping: "As if the bullets whizzing past my head weren't encouragement enough!" This proved to be one of my less brilliant ideas as it only drew more fire in my direction.

Snarking is another tendency I have to relive stress under pressure. I have noticed several great SG team leaders, such as General O'Neill and Colonel Sheppard (Don't tell him I said that), also possess this quirk, so I view it mainly as a virtue. However, my form of snarking, unlike that of the previously mentioned men, tends to annoy people.

Anyway, valiantly ignoring the deadly missiles screaming past my head, their only objective to put me out of my miserable hell of an existence as an unappreciated genius, I managed to open the gate and run for my life. Once on the other side I looked around for the kudos I knew would not come. So, as expected, not finding applause or even the courtesy of a 'Thank You,' I turned to receive my insult from Sheppard.

But Sheppard wasn't there.

I really hate being right all the time.

Someone once told me that I wrote Rodney's Character so well, they were almost positive I was channeling David Hewlett. The thought scared me so much that I haven't seen, let alone written SGA since season three was over. …I'll get back to it this summer if I have time, but honestly! They kill off Carson and expect me to watch?! And after they destroyed SG-1 after say…season 5 was its peak? But it became unwatchable when Jack left, I lost all faith.

Someone want to give me a reason to start watching/writing again?