Allen concludes he is a masochist.
Voyeur, too, perhaps, although he is not at all interested in that woman sprawled over the bed. His attention is focused solely on the man.
His master whispers something to the woman
(slut, slut; all of them are, and he hates them)
and she laughs then moans when his master starts a different, quicker rhythm. Her legs wrap around him and her nails leave marks on his backs.
On his master's backs. Allen forces himself to remain still. He watches from the shadows, watches them with helpless jealousy and hatred. Yes, definitely hatred.
Even if he loves master, he can still hate him for this.
(stupid slut, how dare she…)
Allen closes his eyes that burn with anger and quietly retreats to his room, where he punches pillows in frustration, though it doesn't make him feel better. Not at all. Because his master is there, two rooms and a corridor away, fucking another woman he deemed worthy enough of his attention.
(the only thing that comforts him is the fact that, in the morning, she will be discarded, just like all of them had been; he is the only one permited to stay beside the master; maybe, he will have time to make master realize that…yes, he loves him)
Ah, those pretty women. The ones capturing his master's attention, the ones separating them, the ones who cry when Cross leaves in the morning and never returns. Stupid women who believe they can make him stay.
(he secretly fears that one day, someone will manage to do that, and he won't be able to stop it. Or worse, he won't even try to stop it, stupid masochist he is)
Allen believes he is irreplaceable – he is the one making money to pay off the debts, and he is the one dealing with unpleasant aftermaths, he is the one who does everything master orders him to do.
He doubts there will ever be a woman ready to do even ounce of things he does.
(and still, still…)
He doesn't really want to go to Order. Not if it means he will be separated from master. He is just masochistic like that. And in love with womanizing bastard, yes.
(and perhaps Cross knows that, considering he knocks him out and runs away while he is still unconscious. Perhaps. He wouldn't really bet on that, but then again, his master has always been peculiar one)
Allen concludes he is a masochist. Maybe a misogynist, too.