Prologue

"I'm ruining my life
Dreams fading from sight
I'm running, please let me go
I need your beautiful, beautiful release
Beautiful, beautiful release"

"Beautiful Release," Honestly

I looked up into his stormy eyes. There was no kindness, no warmth, no sense of security in their depths. I never understood him. I did not understand how such sweet words could come from the mouth of such a beast. I did not understand how someone that came from such a generous, loving family could be so cruel and cold-hearted. I did not understand him at all. But, then again, I was not sure if I wanted to. I was scared.

He stood before me, his tall slender figure towering over my own. I wanted to run, scream, and cry all at the same time. But I just stood there, my feet locked in place, and my eyes never leaving his. His stare was cold. It was as if he was daring me, daring me to say any word of objection. He raised his hand and grazed my cheek lightly. An unpleasant shiver ran the length of my spine, and I shivered slightly, but quickly regained my composure. I shut my eyes and placed my hand on top of his. He slid his other arm around my waist and tugged me closer to him, his chest on mine. I opened my eyes and looked up at the mysterious man before me, the man that was now hardly recognizable. He was not the man I used to know.

What had I done? Did I just agree to marry him out of fear? Or was it something else? Was I…trying to escape my own pain? Move on with my life? Forget the past?

I could not understand what had happened to me. How could I bring myself to marry someone I did not truly love?

Or…was it because of him? The man who loved me, the man I refused to love. Whatever the reason, it was too late to turn back now. We were engaged. We were going to be married.

He slowly cupped my soft cheek in his rough hand, and, leaning in, closed his eyes. I stared at him a moment longer before shutting mine. He captured my lips with his, and gently began to kiss my inexperienced lips. I returned the kiss, but tentatively. Something was wrong. Something was missing, but what it was, I did not know.

I was so confused. I was scared. I was hurt. I was dying little by little every waking moment of my life.

I groaned slightly, and with a shudder, he released me. He reached out a hand and tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

"I love you," he whispered, grabbing a hold of my delicate hand, pressing it against his lips.

"I love you, too," I said.

The words were meaningless. I did not love him. I was lying to him. I was lying to myself. I was lying to everyone around me, my friends, my family. Everything I did or said now was a lie I was stuck inside this cruel world full of hate and anger and dishonesty. And I was a part of it. It was my life.

I was living a lie.