Happiness For H: Something In White

January 11

It was almost 6:00 pm. Horatio didn't see Emily sitting at the computer, and she wasn't in the guest room. He went looking and saw her sitting on the stairs of the deck, knees drawn up to her chin. For some moments, Horatio watched her as he reflected over the last week.

They had arrived in Miami in the early evening a week ago. Upon arriving at his home, she had unpacked her things in the spare bedroom. That night she had slept in the spare room, having slipped in to bed while he was on the phone with Ray Jr. The next morning she was still asleep when he left for the office. Remembering Grandma Estin's suggestion not to wake her up, he had left her a note beside the coffeemaker, once more filled with water and her favorite vanilla hazelnut blend of beans and ready to go at a touch of a button. And so the pattern had been set. He went off to work each day and Emily kept herself busy with her Braille or visiting Jean at the Book 'n Bean. In the evening, they had dinner together and walked on the beach or watched a movie when the rain was pouring down outside. Friday evening they had gone out to dinner with Yelina and Ray Jr.

While they hadn't discussed sleeping arrangements, he had assumed she would share his bed once they arrived back in Miami, picking up their relationship where they had left off in September. But he had sensed a change in her once she had been in his home. At first he thought she might be homesick and gave her her space. But a week had passed and though Emily seemed like she was enjoying herself, she still hadn't given any indication she was ready to move any farther in their physical relationship than when they were in Minnesota. Horatio hadn't wanted to push her for an explanation, fearing she might bolt from him once again.

He came to a decision and slid the glass doors aside, stepping quietly out onto the deck. Emily didn't hear him and continued to stare out in the direction of the ocean. He sat down beside her, hands between his knees.

"Hey, I was looking for you." She turned to look at him.

"I needed some fresh air."

"Mmm… I agree. Would you like to go for a ride? I heard a rumor there's a full moon."

Emily nodded, not sure what to say. For some reason, she had felt a little shy of him ever since they had arrived back in Miami. If Horatio noticed, he hadn't said anything.

"Good, grab whatever you need and we'll go." He smiled at her and got up. A moment later she heard the swish of the door as it opened.

Twenty minutes later they were in his car, heading north. The windows were open, letting in the night air. Horatio had slipped in a CD and soon Matt Nathanson's "Come On Get Higher" could be heard from the speakers. Emily peaked at Horatio as he drove, twisting her grandmother's ring on her finger. As she listened to the song, she wondered if he had chosen it on purpose. He didn't seem to be in a talkative mood, so she looked out the window on her side, wondering where they were going. In five minutes she knew. When she looked over at him, Horatio glanced at her.

"You know?"

"Of course," she said softly, glad he couldn't see her blush in the intimate darkness of the car.

The car had left the paved highway for a dirt road and they bumped along for a few minutes until the road ended near some mangrove trees and the glistening water beyond. Turning off the engine, they listened for several moments to the sound of the sighing of the breeze in the trees and the screech of night birds looking for their dinner. Horatio got out of the car and came around to help her out. The wind from the open window had tousled his hair and when he took her hand with a boyish grin, Emily felt her knees go weak. This time, Emily was familiar with the area too, and together they carefully made their way to a small wedge of sand, their only light from the full moon above them. She could just make out the stillness of the water beyond. The loose sand was working its way into her shoes once again, and she gave a little tug to his hand.

"Stop Horatio." Her hand was warm on his chest where she put her hand, using him to balance as she pulled off her shoes. They finished their short walk to the beach.

As he spread out the beach blanket, Emily looked out over the water. Once again a full moon was above them, and she could just make out the shadow of a dolphin as it broke the surface in the path of moonlight on the water.

" Sit down Emily." Horatio followed suit, whispering softly,

"They're still here." She felt his arms sliding around her, drawing her back against his chest, his legs on either side of her.

"Relax, sweetheart. You don't have to say anything." His voice was a mere whisper in her ear, but it made shivers run through her. Slowly she did relax, as she watched the sleek animals out on the water. In the stillness she could hear the soft puffs of air as they surfaced and dove again. Once again Emily lost track of time as they watched the performance nature put on for them.

When at last the animals moved out into the bay, Emily rested her head against Horatio's chest.

"That was just as wonderful as the first time, Horatio." She could hear the steady beat of his heart in her ear.

"Mmmm… I agree." His lips were in her hair. "You …" he hesitated, looking for the right word, "seemed a little down." He felt her head move back and forth. "Are you okay?" This time he could feel the nod of her head.

"I … I just … it feels … different than before Horatio. I thought when I came back with you, things would be just like before …" Emily stumbled to a halt, glad for the cover of darkness.

"Just like before I left." She finished in a whisper. He had leaned in closer to hear her. Emily trembled as she inhaled the citrus clean scent of his skin mingling with the smell of the beach. Horatio's arms tightened around her.

Emily sighed and looked up into the sky, her eyes on the twinkling stars above them. These same stars and moon would be shining at home, but on a frozen lake and snow-covered ground. She shuddered as a picture of Josh standing over her on the snow covered ground suddenly flashed across her memory.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, glad again that he could not see her face. "When will it go away?" she wondered aloud.

"Sometimes, it never does." Horatio's voice sounded sad.

TBC