Hello, all you great people out there! It's me! Yews, this is yet another story simply for when I'm bored and not up to writing the others, but hey: at least I'm always working on something. Right? Right!
Now this is my attempt at the commonplace, "Harry Potter Reads Harry Potter". It will have humor it in. It will not follow canon because I rather like the pair of Harry with a girl-like or turned into a girl Draco along with harry being with Ginny and Luna. Well, I like the thought of him being with all three at once even better.
Some charcaters will have "crazy OCC" moments, mostly odd bounts of chipperness and sarcastic happiness. Also, Harry will have Boyish Attitude *so you have been warned!). Draco will be, well, like a proper little girl, and the others will just be trying to survive these books with their sanity still intact.
Trust me when I say, most of the facts will be like canon, but Harry and the others will point out the subtle and not so subtle differences in this story and the books they're reading.
So now without further interruption: here is a story to stp your broedom and amuse you!
Chapter 1: My Biography? Crap!
Harry Potter didn't know what to think when at one second, he was fixing his Uncle Vernon's engine trouble on his car, and the next, he was in a room, which certainly wasn't apart of the Dursley's house.
The room looked rather cozy, though. It had several couches in it, and yet no windows. There was a roaring fire in a fireplace which didn't seem to give off smoke, and three coffee tables placed in front the seven couches. There was also three armchairs, and two loveseat sofas opposite the couches. Harry looked behind him and saw that there were bookshelves and a six doors on the two walls he couldn't see while he had been sitting forward. The first door was a swinging one, since Harry couldn't see a knob or lock on it. The other all had knobs and locks, but names on them. Harry nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw that one of the doors was labeled "Malfoy", but his senses settled when he saw labeled for himself, and another with "Weasley". He didn't try and take in anymore as he slumped into the couch, though his eyes did flicker off to the staircase on the wall near the fireplace.
"Why is it that whenever something like this happens, I'm not surprised? I mean, it happened last week when I was in the garden, the week before that while I was still in Hogwarts, and the month before that while I was in the middle of Professor Binn's classroom… Actually, that last one, I'm thankful for. Hmm, maybe that's why…" Harry said to himself, since he was the only one there, as he stood from the couch he had been sitting on and moved to one of the comfy-looking armchairs.
Before he could seat his bottom into though, a flash of red and gold light blinded him as he dropped into the seat in surprise. The next thing Harry knew, Hermione and Ron were in the room with him. Hermione was standing on her toes brushing her teeth while Ron was stabbing into the air with a fork while seated on the couch Harry had just been on.
Hermione, now noticing she wasn't in her bathroom, and Ron having bitten an empty fork both looked around in surprise and shock until their wild eyes landed on Harry.
"Harry?" Hermione said, taking the toothbrush out of her foamy mouth.
"Mate? Where the devil are we? I could have swore I just eating dinner with my family at home." Ron said as he tossed aside his fork, having bitten the metal and his teeth now hurting.
"Yes, and I was just in the middle of my hygiene. Oh, and packing to go to France with my parents." Hermione said as she wiped at her mouth with the back of her sweater sleeve and spit her toothpaste into the fire, which hissed, but still no smoke or mist came from it. Harry suspected magic while Hermione turned to him with a closer more critical look, "And what on Earth are you wearing? And why in the name of Godric are you covered in motor oil?"
Harry blinked at her while she started questioning him in her famous Hermione fast talk as usual.
"Um… What? I have no clue where we are, but I do know this kind of thing needs to stop happening to me. Last I this happened, I was forced to watch a musical about-" Harry said after he blinked a few more times. He was about to rant about something, but he was interrupted by another flash of light blinding him, and his two best friends.
This time the light was an orange-y shade of red and much larger than the last. When the light died down, Harry and Hermione had to blink in surprise as Ron's family were moving about around them yelling Ron's name.
"Ronniekins! Ickle Ronniekins, where are you?" the twins yelled with mirth as they stopped upon seeing him. Ron's mother, Mrs. Weasley, stopped bellowing into Charlie's ear as she saw her son and his friends.
Harry raised a brow as he took in the entire Weasley family for the first time ever. Ron was as lanky and freckle-ridden as his brothers. The twins were only a bit taller than him, but Ginny (who was hugging the eldest brother, Bill, if Harry remembered correctly) was at least a head shorter. Her hair was longer than any of theirs, but Mrs. Weasley and Bill seemed to be not far behind in that aspect. It also seemed that of all the Weasley siblings, she had caught on the fastest of them, having turned a brilliant shade of blushing-red as her eyes landed on Harry.
"Where are we exactly? I'm missing out on dinner." George said as he and Fred sat down on a loveseat.
"I don't know, oh brother of mine, but I do know that were aren't in the Burrow anymore." Fred said causal as he and George exchanged grins upon seeing Harry and Hermione among them.
"Why I never!" Percy said from where he was on the floor, near Mr. Weasley's feet. Mr. Weasley helped him up, and helped brush him off.
"You've never? What about Bill and me? We're missing from work right now. The dragons and goblins are gonna have our heads." Charlie said with amusement as he playfully jabbed Bill in the arm. Bill looked around rather put-out as he finally saw his youngest brother and said sibling's friends that he heard about in letters. Bushy hair and innocent schoolboy-like glasses. Yup, that must have been Harry Potter and Hermione Granger alright, if he remembered anything from the letters his family had sent him.
"Um, hi…" Bill greeted, his eyebrows raised to his hair-line as he continued looking about, seeing all of his family members for the first time in a long time since his getting the job in Egypt. Ginny beamed as she saw Bill, her eldest brother and most comfortable confident for all of her problems. While she loved all of her brothers very much, Bill was all-time her favorite, and his opinion and advise mattered the most to her. She squealed as she nearly ran to him and knocked him over with a flying hug.
Molly beamed as she also locked eyes on her two eldest sons, ones which she had to write to and visit if only to know that they were safe each week or so (Charlie more so than Bill, but with those goblins, you never knew…) She moved across the room and hug Charlie tightly while Fred and George were snickering at their elder brothers.
"Mum? What are we doing here?" Charlie asked as his mother shrugged somewhat worriedly since she was now thinking about the situation and not her joy of seeing her family whole again with Ron's friends there as well (but she had to admit that the two kids were like a part of the family as well to her and their family).
"I don't know, Charlie dear. I just got here same as you did. Oh I'm sorry, how have you been, dear?" Molly asked, moving to take a better look at her second eldest, who looked to be getting a rather nice tan from his workplace. He had a few burn marks on his arms, which made her shake her head in annoyance at his choice in careers. Oh, how she wished that he hadn't gone running off from home to be with dragons. Fire-breathing, giant, always hungry, and grumpy dragons!
Quidditch would of been much better than that!
"I'm fine, Mum, really." Charlie said, patting his mother's shoulder before moving to great his father, though even he had to raise a brow as he spotted his youngest brother Ron talking to the innocent schoolboy-glasses Harry Potter and the bushy-haired Hermione Granger. Those glasses and that hair were spot on from the descriptions… He sent a smile at them though, as he thought about when they had all wrote him about Norberta.
"Are you sure you have no clue where we are, Hermione?" Ron asked his bushy-haired friend as she huffed.
"For the tenth time; No, Ron, I don't. If I did I would have said so." Hermione said, keeping her voice down to a bearable tone as Harry laid a hand on Ron's shoulder smiling as though amused at him and Hermione.
"Just stop asking her, mate. I'm sure we'll find out sooner or later. Beisdes- wait, cover your eyes!" Harry said, but stopped as he saw the light start to come into being now that he was growing more used to it. Hermione and Ron did as he said while he did it too. So did the twins and Ginny, but Percy, Charlie, Bill, and the two parental Weasleys weren't so lucky as they said, "Huh?"
A flash of bright blue illuminated throughout the room as the elder Weasleys were blinded by it. When the light died away, Albus Dumbledore the Headmaster of Hogwarts was standing there in front of everyone looking as though it was right where he belonged. He was wearing pale blue and his blue eyes were twinkling behind his half-moon spectacles, even as he looked about with a certain curiosity one might find if they were guided into a place for the first time.
"Oh my, what a pleasant surprise! I believe I was just about to eat a sherbet-lemon drop, and now; here I am! In the presence of all of you! I must say, this is a wonderful surprise!" Dumbledore said, his voice full of mirth as he gazed about at all of them.
"Pro-Professor Dumbledore, sir…" Hermione asked nervously as she wasn't sure if he was behind things or not, "Do you know why we are here, by chance?"
"Ah, dear girl, I am afraid I haven't the slightest clue!" Dumbledore said happily, making most look at him oddly for his strange behavior.
"Are you sure sir?" Ron asked, looking at Dumbledore as though he was sure that the man had to know something to be so calm about it all.
"Not the slightest, dear boy."
"But sir-"
"Honestly, Ronald! Don't start that again!" Hermione scolded as Ron sighed and shut up.
"Professor Dumbledore, do you know where we are at least?" Arthur asked as he hugged his wife to his side.
"Ah, alas, I do not." Dumbledore said, his eyes still twinkling, giving many, mostly Harry and the twins, the impression that he knew exactly where they were.
"Light!" Harry yelled as everyone covered their eyes this time around right when Mrs. Weasley was about to open her mouth.
The light died away, and from it came two individuals Harry didn't know. Though his first thought at seeing them was "groovy". The first must have been the father to the second. The father had long blond-turning-grey hair that fell to his shoulders. The second was a young dirty-blonde girl who had a dreamy expression on her face and in her silvery-grey eyes, and radish-earrings hanging from her ears. Harry smiled at her and her father, continuously thinking the word "groovy" over and over again.
"Daddy, where are we? Do you think it was the Kardashiens that sent us here?" the young blonde girl said to her father, who shrugged. Everyone looked at the odd new arrivals as her father gave his reply.
"No, my little Luna, I believe we're dealing with future beings again." the man said to his daughter, who nodded in turn.
"Yes, Daddy, you're probably right. Oh I hope my little Lorcan, Lysander, and Jason are enjoying the future!" the girl, Luna said as her father turned from her and looked about the room, his eyes settling on Dumbledore before they gave a quick glance at Harry.
"Ah, Xenophilius Lovegood, it has been awhile, hasn't it?" Dumbledore said in greeting to Xenophilius, who sent a smile at him.
"Yes it has, Albus Dumbledore. Great too see you again." Xenophilius said, nodding to Dumbledore.
"Luna?" Ginny asked in surprise, peering over at her friend from her spot next to the twins while Bill was talking with their mother, who by talking meant that she was squashing him with a hug.
Before the dreamy girl named Luna Lovegood was able to speak, Ron was he one to yell out "light", and all eyes were covered as a large yellow flash entered the room.
As Harry uncovered his eyes, he saw that from this flash came three people. A fair-haired, big-bellied man who looked to be stunned for a second before his eyes landed on Dumbledore. Next to him was a woman with a kind face, soft brown hair, and light brown eyes. Lounging on the couch next to where Charlie and Percy were talking, was a young woman with a heart-shaped face, and bright pink hair, which turned from purple to yellow, back to pink again as she looked around, her eyes finally landing on her company.
"Hello?" The soft-haired woman said as she saw her husband and Dumbledore greet each other.
"Dora?" Charlie said, making the young woman look at him. Harry and all the Weasley family raised brows at Charlie and this Dora woman.
"Is that you, Charlie Brown!" Dora said excitedly, getting off her couch as the two hugged each other.
Charlie's ears went red, as the twins smirked at him while he let go of Dora.
"Charlie Brown? Really, why did we-" Fred said through laughter as he and George were bent in doing so.
"-never thought of that?" George finished through his fit of laughter.
"If either of you two call me that, you won't live to see your N.E.W.T's this year." Charlie growled, his ears still Weasley-red.
"Nymphadora, it's not nice to do that to your friends." the soft-haired older woman said in a reprehensible tone as Dora (fully named Nymphadora, Harry guessed) sighed.
"Andromeda, give Dora a break, she's just having a bit of fun with her old school friend." the man, who must have been the husband to the woman named Andromeda, Harry and Ron guessed, said while the woman turned sharply on heel at him.
"But Ted she shouldn't be-!" Andromeda said, only to be cut off by Dumbledore.
"Ted and Andromeda Tonks, I haven't seen you two since young Miss Tonks here graduated from Hogwarts. How have you been?" Dumbledore said, defusing the situation with his sage-like presence being once again remembered.
"Yes, well, we've been better. I suppose that you've heard about Nymphadora being accepted as an Auror recently. Haven't you, Professor?" Andromeda said, her voice prideful as she gestured to her daughter, who was talking excitedly with Charlie Weasley, catching up on their time apart. Andromeda looked over and saw just this before she huffed and went to go and sit by Molly, who was occupying a couch. Both mothers started their own excited conversation about their children.
It wasn't look before the twins belted out a "light!", and all eyes were covered once again. This time the light was a green and silver one, and Harry was sure he knew at least two of the people that would be showing up. When the light died down, Harry uncovered his eyes, and smirked in amusement from being right.
Severus Snape was less than pleased at somehow being transported into a room full of people that he would never want to be with if he had the choice. Potter was standing there across the room with that damnable smirk on his face. Draco and his parents were more confused than anything, but that confusion soon turned to cold anger as they gazed about the room. Potter, and the Weasleys were in the room, along with Granger and the Blood traitor that was Narcissa's older sister.
Harry grinned at them as he waved over at them, mainly to Draco. Everyone saw the action, and turned to Draco, mainly his parents (his father in anger, and his mother with a cool brow raised). Draco himself went pink in the cheeks as he cursed Potter for embarrassing him.
"Hi, Draco! I knew you'd be here soon! Hi Lucius, Narcissa, Severus!" Harry said in a child-like greeting, but turned to the adults that were with Draco with the same.
"That is Professor Snape to you, Potter!" Snape said with a narrowed glare at Harry, who didn't look intimidated or affected at the least.
"Severus, Severus, Severus." Harry said with a wag of his finger, "We're not in class right now. It's still summer, so I can call you Severus, Sev. Or would you like to be called Sev instead? Maybe Sevy-"
"I get it, Potter! Fine, I don't care! Call me, Severus now, but if you ever utter the nickname Sevy, I'll-"
"Severus." Dumbledore interrupted as Severus sighed irritably moved over to him. Harry simply kept smiling, enjoying the fact that he could mess with people now.
"So, Drakie-"
"Potter!"
"Sorry, Draco. But, what do you think will happen this time? A musical or more puppets?" Harry said, since the fist time this had ever happened Draco had been taken with him.
"I don't know, and I'm just hoping it's not puppets again." Draco said with a shudder. Oh how he hated puppets…
"This has happened before, Draco?" Narcissa asked her son calmly as Lucius was scowling at Potter, who was walking up to them.
"Once to me and Potter, but it was only about puppets and how arrogant Potter truly is." Draco said as he cast a smirk at Harry.
"At least they made a puppet of me. Even Snape got one, but you didn't." Harry said amusingly as Draco frowned at him.
"Shut up, and go back to your friends." Draco muttered as Harry grinned at him.
"Now, now, Dracokins, don't be so irritable. Did this thing interrupt your nap time?" Harry said as he glanced at Draco's parents. Lucius was still scowling at him while Narcissa seemed to be as mirthful as he was at the mention of Draco's nap time.
"Shut up, and go." Draco said as he hid his face in his hands, his cheeks tinted pink as Harry chuckled at him and turned away.
"Fine, but we'll have to talk later. Right, Dracokins?" Harry said as he winked at Draco before walking away.
"I don't like the way he said "talk". That boy had best stay far away from us, with his ilk Weasleys." Lucius growled before he turned to his son, "You and I will talk about this later in private."
"Yes, Father." Draco answered automatically as Narcissa placed a hand on his shoulder. Draco looked up at her to see her smirking down at him and his embarrassment.
"So that's the Potter boy? He seems like a fine young man. Just two questions though, Draco dear. The first is; Why does Harry Potter know about your nap time schedule, and the second is; Exactly what type of "talking" have you two been doing?" Narcissa said as Draco groaned and collapsed into the couch directly behind him and his parents.
He did not want to answer either of those! He would rather be with his Aunt Bellatrix than tell either of his parents anything he did while at Hogwarts. Draco glanced up at his father, seeing the man sneer at Potter as the boy went back of to his friends.
"Where are we, Headmaster?" Snape asked as soon as he was in front of Dumbledore.
"The Room of Requirement, I believe." Dumbledore answered as Snape's eye twitched, but he gave Dumbledore a curt nod.
"Did you just walk over there and talk to the Malfoys?" Ron asked as Hermione rolled her eyes, but still seemed just as shocked and surprised as him.
"Yes, yes I did." Harry answered with the grin still on his face.
"Why were you calling Snape and the Malfoys by their first names?" Hermione asked, her keen eye on him as he shrugged.
"Because it annoys them. Plus, I'm guessing that while here we wouldn't have to worry about anything like being killed by them or stuff like that." Harry said as Hermione and Ron gave him a look.
"Why is it that you annoy people, only to drive them 'round the bend?" Ron asked as Harry shrugged again.
"Because it's fun. Like calling Draco by his name. His left eye twitches in the funniest way whenever I do it around people." Harry said with a chuckle as Hermione and Ron continued to give him a look.
"Cover your eyes, here comes the light." Dumbledore said as all eyes were covered when yet another red and gold colored flash entered the room, this time resulting in making Harry smile brightly as he, Ron, and Hermione ran over and hugged the person who showed up.
"Remus!" Harry said as he hugged his friend, mentor, and former teacher.
"Remus Lupin, everybody!" Harry announced proudly as he turned to the others in the room, surprising most people. Remus coughed as his cheeks went red, while everyone was looking at him.
"Umm…Where are we, and what are we doing here? Better yet, why are you so chipper?" Remus asked running a hand through his brown hair in exasperation. This boy was just like James all over again, and Remus felt that he was getting far too old for it.
"We have no clue!" Ron said bluntly, the same chipper tone as Harry. Harry was right, it was fun to annoy people and see their eyes twitch in annoyance.
As his eye twitched, Remus took a look around the room and saw some familiar faces. There was Severus Snape glaring at him beside Professor Dumbledore, who was twinkle-eyed and smiling. There was Arthur, Molly, and all of their Weasley children smiling at him. Harry and Hermione, who were still hugging him with Harry smirking like James did whenever he and Sirius planned to annoy McGonagall into turning one of them into a bird or a watch. Ted and Andromeda Tonks were smiling at him as they gave a small wave of greeting with him returning the action. His eyes lingered on Nymphadora Tonks, who glanced at him with a look of interest while she talking to Charlie Weasley. Lucius was scowling at him, Narcissa had no real reaction, and Draco Malfoy looked to be somewhat frightened of him (probably because the boy now knew he was a werewolf, but oh well).
"Umm, can you three let go of me?" Remus asked as Harry grinned.
"Why?"
"Don't you dare start that. James and us invented that, so let me go, or one of you is getting turned into a football and kicked around." Remus said as Harry and his two best friends let the man go. Remus smirked at them as he straightened his shabby clothes and walked over to Molly and her husband Arthur.
As most of the people fell into peaceful conversation, Bill suddenly yelled light, and the flash blinded Remus as it broke everyone from whatever they were talking about.
McGonagall, Neville, Madam Pomfrey, and at least three Slytherin students were in the room. Draco seemed to recognize the three immediately as he attacked the dark skinned boy one with a flying hug. Harry recognize the girl as Pansy Parkinson, and the other boy as Theo Nott. The one Draco was currently hugging must have been Blaise Zabini.
"What in the name of Merlin is going on here? Mr. Malfoy, please detach yourself from Mr. Zabini." Professor McGonagall said sharply as she glanced about the room. She moved quickly to Dumbledore and found out everything he knew before she sighed and took a seat on one of the couches with Madam Pomfrey and Remus next to her.
Greetings and like were exchanged as they all talked a bit while waiting for another flash to come.
"Blaise you dog you, Theo my man, Pansy you lovely babe, glad you could make it. Welcome to the party." Harry said as he swaggered up to them coolly. Blaise seemed to catch onto Harry's joke as he shook Harry's hand with a grin.
"Glad to be here, Potter you old sea salt. So dude, what's the occasion?"
"There is none that we know of yet, but please make yourselves at home. Draco babe, will you please be a doll and escort them to their seating area." Harry said as though he were the owner of some popular nightclub while Draco narrowed his eyes at him.
"Don't call me babe or doll ever again in public, Potter." Draco said before he led his friends over to the couch next to the one he and his parents were sitting on.
"You weren't saying that last month when we-"
"Don't you dare, Potter!"
Harry chuckled in amusement, but he was interrupted as Ron yelled out "light" from his spot next to Hermione and his family. Harry covered his eyes as a white flash of like lit up the room. When the light died away, Harry was surprised to see a harmless looking letter fall from above him and onto the table he had been standing in front of in the middle of the room. No one moved to get it, so with a shrug, Harry picked it up only to have it snatched from his hand and thrown onto the table. Harry looked up in surprise the see Dumbledore, Remus, Snape, and McGonagall all right beside him or behind him with their wands drawn and pointed toward the letter while muttering incantations to themselves as spells circled the sheet of parchment.
Reaching out, Dumbledore grabbed the note from the table. His eyes quickly scanned it before he nodded to himself.
"Well what of it?" Lucius snapped impatiently while Narcissa placed a calming hand on his shoulder. She glanced over at her disowned sister, who smiled sadly at her before they both looked away.
"It only says that someone is to be meeting with us soon." Dumbledore said as he gave the note to Harry, who folded it and pocketed it for reasons he didn't know.
Soon enough, a swirling vortex of light came from in front the staircase. No one covered their eyes as a teenaged boy walked out of the vortex, looking very annoyed if his stomping was anything to go by. The thing was that he looked like Draco, except for his emerald green eyes and dirty-blond hair. Harry and Draco exchanged silent looks as Harry shrugged with a grin and Draco blushed lightly.
"Blimey, he looks almost just like you, Malfoy." Ron blurted out as Hermione thumped him.
"Shut it." Draco grumbled as his mother and father looked at him with raised brows.
"Except for his eyes. They look exactly like yours, Harry." Fred said as George nodded in agreement.
"I can't believe those morons. Playing 'Not-It' is not an acceptable form of choosing someone for something this sensitive. Besides, they could have at the least given me a warning." the boy grumbled in a very Draco-like manner as he held a clipboard in one hand and a pen in the other. He stomped out of the vortex as it closed behind him. He seemed very irritated as he glanced about the room, but he sighed in defeat as he held up his clipboard while jotting some things down on it.
"Greetings, everyone. I am Gabriel Alain Potter, and you are all here for one reason: to help change the future for the better, and blah, blah, blah. Alright then, I'll call out your names and I want you to tell me if you're here." the boy, Gabriel said as everyone besides Harry simply gaped at him.
"Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Ginny Weasley, Luna Lovegood, Remus Lupin, Nymphadora Tonks, Draco Malfoy, Severus Snape, Albus Dumbledore, Andromeda Tonks, William (Bill) Weasley, George Weasley and Fred Weasley, Charlie Weasley, Molly Weasley, Arthur Weasley, Xenophilius Lovegood, Ted Tonks, Lucius Malfoy, Narcissa Malfoy, Minerva McGonagall, Poppy Pomfrey Blaise Zabini, Pansy Parkinson, Theodore Nott, and Neville Longbottom." Gabriel said as they all croaked out their "here" while never blinking, trying to understand how a Potter ended up blond. The boy seemed to catch their thoughts as he sighed and put his clipboard at him side.
"Yes, I'm blond. Yes, I'm a Potter. Yes, my father is Harry Potter, right there, and yes I have other siblings. Yes, you're here to help the future. Yes, the future. Why? Because we thought it'd be fun for half of you not to end up dead or depressed. Yes, some of you, mainly two of you, die. Yes, death, oh scary." Gabriel said as they continued to gape at him despite his crisp tone. He put his pen and clipboard down as he flicked his wrist, his wand coming out from his robe sleeve as he gave it a swish. The clipboard and pen began writing in midair.
"Now then, we've-" Gabriel was saying but he was cut off by Dumbldore.
"We?"
"Yes, we. My brothers, sisters, cousins, parents, and everyone else we know, including some of you in this very room, have sent you all here to read about the truth, and change the future while you do so. We know that this isn't looked upon as fun, but the future we live in is not a very good one anymore. It started out all fine and dandy, but about two years ago things went back to unicorn crap."
"Language, Gabriel." Harry said with mirth as he wagged a finger at the blond. Gabriel sputtered nonsense for a second before he turned around and waved his wand with muttering to himself. The vortex opened again and another boy fell out of it and onto the floor.
This boy looked exactly like Harry, but without any glasses. The boy got up, and dusted himself off while he glared at Gabriel.
"Not cool, Gabe." the boy said as Gabriel (nicknamed Gabe) glared at him and pointed his wand at the boy's neck.
"Don't call me that, James! You got me into this mess, so now you explain to them why our time is fu- I mean, messed up. And Father over there is being… well, himself!" Gabriel said as he pointed directly at Harry, who waved a little and grinned.
"I love it when Dad's like this. It's always so much more funny than when I do it." James said as Remus, Snape, and other adults were thinking the same thing.
"James/Potter!" they thought as they looked at him. Aside from the emerald green eyes, the boy looked exactly like James (and Harry) did, and his name said so much.
"Hey wait, I thought Sirius was supposed to be here too." James said as Gabriel checked his list while everyone gaped.
"J-James?" Remus called as James turned to him.
"James Sirius Potter, at your service. I am in fact not my dad Harry Potter, nor am I my gramps James Potter. I am better than them because I am Sirius; all the time." James said with a raised fist as Gabriel smacked him upside the head.
"Idiot. And you're right, so fix it." Gabriel said as James grumbled while he pulled out his wand. He simply gave it a slow delicate wave as the air he waved past burst into a bright light. When the light died away, Sirius Black was there dancing with his eyes closed.
"It's just a bit of give and take! You can't take my love! No, you'll... just… Where am I?" Sirius said as he opened his eyes and stopped dancing, not hearing the music he had been dancing to.
"James?" Sirius said as he stared at the boy in front of him.
"James Sirius Potter. I'm from the future." James said as he put his wand away. Sirius pondered this for a moment before raising a brow.
"Isn't messing with time illegal?" Sirius asked as everyone in the room had to agree that the question was a good one.
"Aren't you supposed to be in prison right now for a crime you didn't commit?" James countered as everyone had to admit that it was a good response.
"Good point. I'll be good." Sirius said as he turned away from James and walked over to Remus, greeting him and Harry happily before they all turned back to the two siblings from the future.
"Good, now then, I think all of you are in need of a change in clothing. Gabriel, if you would." James said as Gabriel nodded.
"If only to get Father out of those rags, and from being covered in motor oil…" Gabe muttered as he raised his wand and waved it about few times. Sparkles seemed to change the teens in the room from head to toe as Harry found himself clean and in his Gryffindor school robes. Harry looked over and saw that all the other students were in their respective school robes as well, though he noticed that he had a ring on his finger and so did Draco, Ginny, and Luna.
"Umm…" Harry said, about to point out the ring, but James winked at him while Gabriel smirked a cool smirk.
"Thank you for changing him. He was truly an eyesore in those muggle rags, Gabriel. Now he's just a normal eyesore which comes with being himself." Draco said as Gabriel smiled and nodded. Harry clutched at his heart in a fake heart-breaking manner.
"Where's the love…?" Harry asked as he collapsed to the floor and played dead. Many eyes rolled and a few chuckled as people ignored him and his antics.
"You're welcome. Now then, here is your reading material." Gabriel said, and with another swish of his wand a book showed up on the table, "That's merely the first of seven. While reading, please feel free to point things out and be yourselves."
"Yes, because some of you are way too uptight. In here, there will be no sides, no house stigmas, and no animosity toward each other. Like Dad here always says in the future-" James said as he and Gabriel smirked at each other before turning to everyone.
"Love, peace, and shagging!" James and Gabriel said excitedly as the twins, Harry, and Blaise burst into laughter.
"Harry, mate, you are going to turn into one cool guy with those kinds of mottos." George said as Fred smiled with a nod.
"They're right, Potter. Shagging? And who will be your first victim as the Lord of Shagging, the Shag Master, the-" Blaise said.
"Enough!" Molly, Andromeda, McGonagall, Pomfrey, and Narcissa all said loudly, blushing slightly at teens saying such things in their womanly presence. Had they no shame…?
Probably not…
"Don't worry, me and Gabe here are examples of his greatness in the sacred art of 'Gettin' Some'. Then there's Jason, Al, Anna, Lils, and baby Scorp has just made his second birthday. There are more, but trust me when I say that if I talked about them to you guys, they'd kill me. Anyways, I'm the eldest of all the Potter kids, and Gabe here second to me, so you can guess what that means." James said, slightly ranting as Draco's mouth fell while Luna giggled, and Ginny blushed while trying not to look at Harry. She had always want to name one of her kids Lily. Harry's mom having that name only made it a bonus.
"Stop calling me Gabe, dammit!" Gabriel said with a glare as James ignored him, even though a wand was poking him in the neck.
"Anyways, like Gabe here said; the future started out all peaceful-like, but now it's just gone the way of crap; down the toilet and flushed into disgusting darkness. So, we decided that messing with the past wouldn't be so bad if we kept you guys from botching it up." James said as he gestured to the book that had been forgotten about on the table. It read "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone".
"I give up, you git! Anyways, as you can all see; everything starts with Harry Potter, and ends with him as well. We would tell you all what's happening in the future, but-" Gabriel said as James finished for him.
"Dad will get that disapproving look in his eyes that we all hate so much, and then Mom will be all furious with us." James said with a bowed head while Gabriel scoffed.
"Speak for yourself, James. Your mother will yell at us, but my mother will be taking away everything we even remotely care about for a month. So, we're not telling anyone anything more about our time." Gabriel said with a wave of his arms before he crossed them. Everyone glanced at Harry as the two boys exchanged looks.
Harry had more than one woman in the future? Now that was shocking, and every male below the age of thirty in the room hated him for it.
"Yeah, but hopefully what your all about to read will strengthen the bonds you all have, foster peace, and all the rest of that jizz. That and make you a united front against evil. At least that's what Dad said." James said as Gabriel nodded beside him.
Harry gulped as he thought about the future, and what it had to do with him. He was probably the one to mess it up. Neville was having similar thoughts as the room grew silent, and everyone felt their stomachs drop. They were all wondering what could have possibly happened in the future. Was it because Voldemort was back like Harry had said?
"Oh, and just so you know, an Oracle and a Seer will make this book and the other six about three years from now. Oh, and I was supposed to tell you that our year is 2017." Gabriel said as James scoffed, but took on a more serious look as he stepped forward.
"Anyways, we need everyone here to stay strong, and to please not act recklessly as you read these books, because what you read will not be pretty all the time. There will be death, and pain, and things that you will wish not to happen, but must. The really important things will happen no matter what you do, but they're for good reason. So, try to stay cool, calm, and collected while you read." James said, his voice strong and confident as he picked up the book on the table and handed it to Harry, who nodded as he took the book in hand.
"We're giving you guys the chance to change things for the better. Don't make us regret it only to come back and wipe your minds clean. Secrets will be revealed, both in the books and of your own accord, but try and understand." James said as he cast a hardened look at everyone in the room before he smiled and patted Harry shoulder. While walking back to his half-brother's side, James was asked something by Harry
"Hey, I have a question; are you the ones that keep doing this to me? I mean teleporting me from wherever I am to watch some puppets, a musical, or read stories." Harry asked as James looked over his shoulder at him.
"Nope, that's Merlin just having a bit of fun with you. He still does it, even in the future every now and then." James said with a cheeky smirk. James stopped at his brother's side, not turning around as he opened the portal to the future behind Gabriel's back.
"Staying, Gabriel?" James asked as Gabriel cast a sideway glanced at his brother without uncrossing his arms.
"No, we'll get someone from our time to stay with them during the next book when they read it with the whole school present." Gabriel said as he finally turned around to to the vortex and took a step in before he turned back to say something, "Have fun, joke, laugh, and be merry, because these are some of the final days you'll have to do so before the real trouble starts. Then after that you'll be getting jobs, marrying each other, and having us to take care of. Enjoy yourselves…"
A uncomfortable silence filled the room as young Gabriel and James walked through the vortex and it (with them inside) disappeared in a purple flash of light.
"S-Should we really read it? I mean bad things happen to wizards that mess with time." Hermione asked, terrified about what would happen and what they would discover.
"Yes, Miss Granger, I think we should. Those two children risked a lot by coming here to tell us things properly, so we shall not squander their visit." Dumbledore said, getting a nod from just about everyone.
Dumbledore gestured to Harry, who was still slightly shocked to see two of his kids walk back to the future. Harry jumped a bit as he glanced about the room. Snape and Lucius were glaring at him to begin, while Draco and Ginny were avoiding his gaze, both blushing lightly as Luna twisted the ring on her finger with a dreamy smile on her face, looking at Harry as though she knew him her entire life.
"Huh? Oh, right… Umm… Everyone, please sit down." Harry said as he sat in a loveseat by himself with the book.
"Harry, my boy, I think for a group this large normal reading methods simply won't do." Dumbledore said lightly as Ron and some of the others looked at him oddly.
"What do you mean, sir?" Ginny asked as she sat with her family on the two couches. Ron and Hermione took a loveseat near Harry while Blaise, Pansy, and Theo were in the last loveseat near Malfoy couch. Snape, McGonagall, and Pomfrey sat with each other on a couch as the Tonks family took up the fifth couch. Neville, Luna, and Luna's father Xenophilius took up the sixth couch while Remus, and Sirius took the last. Dumbledore was the only one in an armchair, his being positioned near the fire.
Everyone listened as Dumbledore seemed to make himself comfy before he opened his twinkling blue eyes, giving everyone the feeling that he was their kindly old father or grandfather as he settled his hands over his stomach and prompted up his feet on the footrest in front the chair. Before Harry knew what was happening, the book in his hands floated out of them while he watched it go to float to the middle coffee table.
"Reading it ourselves would be little more than tedious, from continuing to switch readers to us stopping reading only to make comments or point things out. A good spell will solve that problem for us, don't you think" Dumbledore said as they all gazed at the title of the book. Harry's stomach was in knots about what it could reveal about his first year, since that must have been what the title was alluding to.
"What? There are spells that can make books read themselves to us?" the twins asked in their usual unison as Dumbledore smiled at them and nodded, "Then why have we never been told this? Do you know how useful that is?"
"We at Hogwarts like for our students to persue reading themselves to get answers like that. Had you actually wanted knowledge for knowledge's sake, then you would have realized that in your Standard Book of Spells, Grade 1 that the spell is located in the book on the first page of the final chapter. I trust that at least some of you knew this." McGonagall said curtly to the twins, who blushed while closing their gaping mouths. McGonagall looked about the room only to see Harry, Draco, and Hermione's hands raised while all the adults were looking anywhere but her gaze.
"I found out after Harry pointed it out to me." Hermione and Draco said in unconscious (and completely unintentional) unison as they looked at each other in surprise, and then looked away with grimaces.
"And how did you, Mr. Potter, find it?" McGonagall asked as Harry shrugged lightly.
"I was sorta skimming through my books after Hagrid and I got them, and saw it. I had forgotten about it until our last day of First Year, and that was when I asked Hermione about it. We practiced it on the train while Ron was eating, and we got it down. I showed Draco it while we had detention that one time in Second Year." Harry said as McGonagall smiled at him.
"Well then, Harry my dear boy, why don't you do the honors of cracking open your book and charming it for us. Think of it as an example to all of us that a little reading is never a bad thing, especially when done on our own time." Dumbledore said as Harry nodded, pulling out his wand from his robe's pocket (surprised for a second, because he knew he hadn't had it on him when he was in his muggle clothes) and waving his wand over the book.
"Omnia Recitess…" Harry said clearly as he moved his wand in a simply wave over the book. The book snapped own of it's own accord, and flipped it's pages until it got to the first chapter page.
"Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, Chapter One: The Boy Who Lived" the book read in a clear and smooth female voice, which vaguely reminded Harry of one of his primary school teachers.
"Wait a second, I just realized something!" Ron said loudly as everyone looked at him before he pointed a dramatic finger at Harry, who they turned their eyes to, "This is like your unofficial biography. That means we'll get to, like, know what you think about stuff, and practically everything you do."
Harry thought about it, and remembered key things over the years that he wanted no one to know about. Like the Dursleys, that incident with Quirrel at the end of First Year, that Chamber of Secrets incident in Second Year, his and Hermione traveling through time to save Sirius, and what really happened in the graveyard just last year in Fourth Year. Plus, the later books would be showing things that hadn't even happened yet, and those kids said that the really important things would happen regardless. So that meant…
"Crap, and unicorn turds!" Harry said as he slumped back into his loveseat.
This was not going to go well: Not at all…