Telling Vs. Showing
This was an activity our teacher in creative writing had us do back in the 9th grade. He gave everyone a paragraph that was exclusively telling and had us write a passage with the same story except we had to show what happened.
Telling:
There once was a man who had a problem. He was out one night in a bad part of town and got mugged. In the process he was knocked unconscious. He woke up at two in the morning on the sidewalk and staggered home. The next morning he felt weak. The sunlight coming in through the window bothered him. He found two ragged holes in his neck. this is when he realized that his "life" would be changing, and not for the better.
Showing:
The cool night air caused goosebumps to form on the nape of my neck. Moonlight pored into the gloomy alleyway. Only old newspaper littered the ground.
A long shadow loomed infront of me and I looked up. The cloaked figure seemed to be chanting quietly while staring down at the ground. Heavy footsteps resounded off of the walls and I spun around. A second cloaked figure was running towards me at full speed. Just as he reached me, the other figures chanting grew loaned and more rhythmic, like the beat of a mad drum.
Suddenly, the running figure's arm collided with my throat. Pain shot through my lungs as the air escaped them. In the daze, I lost my footing and my head smashed into the ground. Darkness invaded my mind and the feeling slid from my limbs. "Am I dying," I wondered as the last bit of warmth escaped from my flesh.
The loud clang of a trashcan startled me and I woke from my slumber.
"Ugh, What the hell happened?"
My words echoed around me, causing my head to throb. Rising cautiously, I stumbled, catching myself against the wall. Getting home was not going to be fun. It had to be around two or three in the morning.