The way you're kissing me reminds me of the days when you were mine. It's painful, because I know that you will leave soon and that your fiancé is waiting for you. But I've missed your touch so much. When we went our separate ways, I swore to myself that I wouldn't ever be with you again. But you knew that you were my vulnerability. You knew that you still made my knees weak and my heart pound. So here we are in your room where this whole mess started, your lips pressing on mine, breaking me with the guilt and the need. Your eyes don't hold love anymore, just want. And I almost want to cry. But I know that I can't because you would leave now if I did, and I don't want you to leave. This is the last time, I can tell. Your lips leave mine and trace my neck. They trail down to my chest, my ribs, and then my stomach. You don't look into my eyes the way the used to, you already know I want you, that I need you. My hand tries to make its way to you but you grab it and toss it aside. You growl, as if to remind me that you didn't want my love anymore, just my body. I glance at the rain dripping down my window as you pull my pants off. You nip a spot beneath my navel to get my attention. You look into my eyes as you pull off my underwear, not bothering to be gentle. I close my eyes for a moment, hoping I could bring back the memories of times when a kiss from you was enough to assure me that you loved me. My eyes snap open when you push a finger into me. I watch you smirk as you add another finger. You know my feelings are still there, that's why you're here. I feel so wrong, but I'm pushing it all aside because being in your arms is worth it. You withdraw your fingers and take off your pants and boxers. You push my legs apart even more with one hand and guide yourself into me with another. As soon as you're in me, the guilt and sadness hits me even harder, but I don't push you away. I turn my head away as you thrust again and again. After what seems like forever, you finish and withdraw. You lay beside me; I can feel your chest heaving. I recall when you used to cradle me after these times. But not today, maybe never again. The bed shifts when you get up. Your clothes rustle as you put them back on. Trying to keep my dignity, I pull myself up and walk you to the door. We don't even say goodbye, there's no need to. We look into each other's eyes one more time before you walk away and I close the door. I turn and lean against the door, fighting back tears. I sink to the floor and stare straight ahead, knowing I was no more than a quick fuck to you. Two words escape my lips before the tears spill:
"Goodbye Hugo."