War of Attrition
by
Agent X
The mysterious supporter of pairs!
A/N: It was a lot harder finding Chat's voice then I'd anticipated, but then once he'd started speaking it was like I couldn't get him to shut up.
"There they go again," she said, "Swarming all over the place. You know, sometimes I dread seeing them more than the Akuma."
"That's ridiculous," Chat Noir told her. Ladybug turned away from her perch on the roof to cock an expectant eyebrow at him. As always, his heart did a little summersault at the humour in her gaze. "Why, we both know that my Lady doesn't fear anything. She faces everything from malevolence to the media with all the faculty and forbearance befitting of Paris' most beloved superhero, and without a hair out of place."
"You obviously haven't seen me on Monday mornings," she told him.
"My Lady looks lovely no matter the hour or the day," he insisted.
She rolled her eyes, but there was a small smile playing about her lips as she continued, "What is it with you and alliteration lately?"
He shrugged. "I've been taking a course."
He moved closer, hoping she'd keep up their banter, but instead she turned her attention back to watching the milling journalists below, all of them out looking for a piece of Ladybug after the latest Akuma attack. They'd actually been lucky today and had managed to both track and take out said Akuma early into it's transformation. Neither of them had needed their special abilities and he found himself enjoying the rare peacetime he got to spend with Ladybug afterwards.
Even if she was spending it by paying more attention to the scummy reporters than to him.
I am way more interesting than they are. He thought petulantly. He leant back against a wide metal cylinder, checking to make sure he'd put himself on good display. Thank god for modelling. If there was one thing he knew how to do well, it was pose.
"As much as I enjoy watching those scavengers search so assiduously for their Sublime Saviour, I can't help but think there are better things that we could be doing right now," he drawled and raised his brows as she turned around.
"Stop," she said, wrinkling her nose. "That was awful. I don't need another nickname. Especially not one that sounds like it came straight out of a 1940s comic book."
Standing and moving closer, she brought a finger up to tap at the side of her face. "But you do have a point. Hmm… I think it came from the east this time. That would put it within, what, a three kilometre radius of the one from last week?" Ladybug reasoned. "We should scope it out, and I'll mark it down with the others tonight. Though it's a pity we couldn't talk to the victim."
She heaved a frustrated sigh and Chat Noir grinned. "Honestly, I'm starting to think we should just sic one of those tabloids on Papillon. With how fast they've been turning up to attacks these days, they must've gotten their hands on some form of supernatural detection."
Her lip quirked. "And how do you propose we do that?"
"Easy," he said with a dismissive wave of the hand. "All we have to do is tell them you two are having a secret affair. Papillon and Ladybug: the shock, the romance, the ratings! Ever since they got bored of the Akuma victim stories, who you could be dating is the only thing they've been writing about." And he would know. He read each and everyone of those trashy speculative articles. He may even collect clippings. Much to his chagrin, at this point very few thought Chat Noir and Ladybug were an item.
You're not an item. He reminded himself dryly.
He was startled out of his thoughts by a sound from the heroine herself. She'd stopped pacing and was looking out at the city with a morose expression that he wasn't used to seeing on her normally composed face.
"Sublime Saviour," she scoffed, the words sounding almost bitter on her tongue. "All this time and we're still no closer to finding him. Paris is in danger because of us. Because the Miraculous are here. That's hardly what I'd call a saviour." A depreciating smile twisted her lips. "Sometimes I wonder if Paris would be better off without us. Wouldn't it be better if Ladybug just disappeared?"
Her words drifted to silence.
Chat Noir kept very, very still.
For that brief moment, it was all he could do to fight down the immediate panic that such an offhand comment caused. A large part of him wanted to throw himself at Ladybug as if he could stop her thoughts, as if he could reverse time to make it so she had not just said that. But he didn't do that. Instead, it was with great restraint that he gathered himself and slowly walked over to her. He somehow managed to string together the only argument he knew could change her mind. And if he was meant to feel guilty for using her need to protect people, then he would do it another day.
"We know Papillon needs the Miraculous for something. Us not appearing won't stop him from hunting them, and it won't stop him from hurting people to get to us. All it means is that it'll put civilians in danger, and there'll be no one there to fix the damage. No one to bring back the people who've been turned."
He reached out, catching her hand gently. Even though he tried not to read into it, as always part of him warmed when he saw the small ways in which she relaxed with the contact: the loosening in her shoulders; her slow, soft breath. Though Ladybug maintained a professional distance, the nature of their work meant that they were comfortable with each other physically. He never wanted to tarnish this sign of her trust in him, but each time she allowed him near there was a small part of him hoped that maybe, just maybe…
He smiled as she met his eyes.
"Besides, Paris loves you. They've never blamed you for this. Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if some of your most devoted fans tried to fill the void. Can you imagine that Bourgeois girl moonlighting as Ladybug? Not that I'd be fooled. There is only one Lady that I love."
She froze.
Oh crap.
Immediately he knew he'd said the wrong thing. He felt it like a spear of dread. Ladybug stiffened up, all traces of openness falling from her expression. She slipped her hand from his.
He had meant it to be joking and overdramatic, yet the words had slipped out before he could censure them. They were soft and heartfelt and entirely too honest for the delicate balance that Ladybug and Chat Noir had unspokenly established. While she was happy to play along with his jokes, she always withdrew whenever he got too close. For whatever reason, his sincerity scared her. She took a step back, crossed her arms over her chest and tucked her dainty hands out of sight. Which was just a twist of the lance for the cat; he loved her hands.
There was an awkward silence. Feeling numb, he waited. Waited for her to go; to run, to do the usual "I need to leave" or "We should call it a day" routine. Mentally kicking himself all the while for scaring her off.
But then she didn't. She didn't do that. She didn't say that. What she did was much, much worse.
"Chat… don't you ever get tired of it?"
He thought his heart stopped for a second.
"Of - of what?" he asked. He knew. Knew what she meant but didn't want to understand. So he did the only thing he could think of, and played dumb.
"Of this. Of me."
He couldn't even formulate a response to that.
He was aware she often found his flirtation excessive but after all this time together he thought she'd realised he wasn't a mindless philanderer. It wasn't just part of his personality; it was her. He might joke, but he always meant what he said. Chat Noir cared for Ladybug.
She'd started talking again and Chat had to force himself to pay attention. "-physique, a sense of humour (however warped) and, though you act like an idiot, I know you're not stupid. You're not a bad guy. Someone like you would probably be pretty popular in my school, for example." She paused. "In… in your real life, surely there is someone else?"
No one. Never. As Adrien - as a model and as a student - he'd met many perfectly nice girls. Too many, perhaps. But none like her. None that knew him, accepted him, challenged him the way she did.
She was waiting for an answer and even now he felt the need to reassure her. So he slapped a grin on his face and said, "Why my Lady, thank you for the compliments. I'm touched to see you've been paying so much attention to me. And it's true, I am indeed amazingly popular even when I'm human."
'When I'm human?' she mouthed, eyebrow rising.
"But despite that, I'm heartbroken to have to tell you that you're wrong. While I know plenty of very lovely ladies in my other life, there is only one I could ever follow. I could never look away from you. Why would I even want to?" He was trying not to panic. She wanted to talk. She wanted to talk about them. She was acknowledging there was a 'them'. That's progress, right?
"I have someone that I like."
He panicked.
Of course. Well, of course. He'd suspected that. Prepared himself… okay, no he hadn't. He'd thought about it (grudgingly), but no matter how much energy he'd put into thinking about Ladybug and all the imagined facets of her mysterious life, he would never be prepared enough to hear that.
"Who is he?" He was surprised at how flat his voice came out, but couldn't be bothered to care.
"You know I can't tell you that." He thought she'd be angry, but her tone was gentle.
"How long?" Tumbled out next.
"… A while."
Silence fell between them. Questions fought to the tip of his tongue: Why tell me this? Why now? Why am I not good enough? What's so special about him?
Out there, somewhere, was a boy Ladybug admired. Someone she thought of, someone she needed more than him. A person that gave Ladybug something that Chat didn't. If she had chosen them, then they were probably someone spectacular but...
But...
Chat clenched his fist.
Ladybug was his partner, and he was hers. He'd stood by her, watched over her, laughed with her and fought with her. He'd seen how amazing she was: brave, clever, driven and loyal. He'd always joked around her, had kept his attentions light and playful because he was afraid: afraid of shattering what they had; afraid of losing her. But now things were changing anyway and she thought she understood the extent of his attachment.
Well, Chat could be brave and Chat could be honest. Chat could even be serious, if that's what it took. Whatever she thought he was, Chat could be more. He'd played around in this battle of wills but it was his game. He'd been in it from the start and she had finally acknowledged that it was on. He might have terrible luck and the odds stacked against him, but he wasn't giving up. Not yet. Not even if his opponent was Ladybug herself.
A cheshire grin slowly split across his features. He stepped away lightly, putting some distance between them.
"So you're saying your heart is taken?"
Ladybug seemed thrown by the sudden change of tone. She hesitated, wary. "Yes."
"Are you sure?"
"What do you mean 'am I sure'?" She asked suspiciously.
"Well, are you married?"
"Chat."
"Are you?"
"Don't be stupid, of course not. I'm the same age as you."
"People can marry very young."
"We're still in school." She said with a withering glower. He mentally scratched 'early elopement' off his extensive fantasy list.
"So, he's your boyfriend?"
Her lips pursed and Ladybug put a hand to her yoyo. "I'm not doing this."
She shifted abruptly, making to leave the exact same way she had dozens of times before. Before he even knew what he was doing, Chat Noir grabbed her wrist. Ladybug turned to him with shock written in her gaze and he hastily let go. Backing off, trying to maintain an image of nonchalance, Chat clasped his hands behind his head. He watched her carefully with a sidelong glance.
"You started this conversation, my Lady." He reminded her gently, tone slightly challenging. "I really hope you're not trying to run away. Not when I just want to clarify what you mean."
She hesitated. Heart thudding, he saw the uncertainty running through her mind. She was watching him. After a few seconds her expression firmed and she turned to face him fully and Chat couldn't hide his fond smile. This was the Ladybug he knew. Determined, ready, looking like she was about to face down an army.
"Is he your boyfriend?"
A strange mixture of emotions warred across her face before she finally bit out, "No."
"You just started dating?"
"No."
"You've been seeing someone casually?" He suggested. She gave him an appropriately scandalised response.
She took a threatening stomp towards him, face almost as red as her mask. "Chat Noir."
"Okay, okay," he said, hands up in a placating gesture, his stupid grin the only sign of the giddy relief rushing through him. Heart fluttering, he started sidling in closer. "So you've just confessed to him?"
She looked uncomfortably at the ground.
"… and he rejected you?"
She glared.
"Ah," he said with clarity, "So you haven't even confessed."
"Well…"
"Have you ever even talked to this guy?"
Ladybug huffed. "Not that it's any of your business, but yes."
"More than once?"
She gave one of her soft growls, the ones that let him know when he was starting to get on her last nerve.
She's so cool.
"May I make a suggestion?"
"I can hardly stop you." She sounded resigned.
"You should confess."
"What?" Her head whipped up so fast he thought she'd get whiplash.
"You. Should. Confess." He sang. He patted her head with each note for emphasis.
She waved him off irritably, creating distance. "That is not what I thought you would say." She peered distrustingly at him. "And why are you grinning like that?"
"Ladybug, I respect you. A lot."
"Thanks?"
"Which is why I'm telling you, if you are serious about this boy then you should tell him." He approached without dropping his gaze. "Because every moment, every second you are not together, is a moment your heart can change, and every day you are without him is a day I will try to change it."
He moved closer.
"You know I have feelings for you, but you never dug too deep and I never tried to clarify. I don't want to scare you, but you need to understand: I love you. This is not a crush and it's not a joke. It's... it's not even a feeling, really. It's more like a connection. Like there's a string tying me to you, hooked completely inside me. And every bruise, every fight, every victory we share; all the pain and the exhilaration and the quiet moments together; your touch, your laughter. Everything just pulls it tighter.
And it's not easy. Sometimes the bond is so taut that I think it will break me. Sometimes it's so stretched it physically hurts. But mostly, it's warm and weightless and dazzling because... because it's you: your strength, your courage, your crazy ingenuity... your smile. Every day I wake up and think I can't possibly love you any more than I already do and then I see you and know that I'm wrong."
His tone gentled. "So, this is it. My notice, my declaration. I just... I want you to understand. I want you to know the truth. But more than that, I want you to know that no matter what happens, I won't leave you. You don't have to worry. Whenever you need me, I'll be here. Every time you call, I'll be here. Always. No matter what, I will follow you anywhere. I will always follow you."
Ladybug stared.
Chat took a breath. "So, there's this boy that you never talk to. Maybe he's sweet. Maybe he's cool. Maybe he'll like you back. Maybe he won't. Who knows? But if you really feel that way then tell him. Because until that time, I have to try."
He stepped closer.
"And I can tell you, I am not going to lose to some boy who's too stupid to even notice you're there."
One more step.
"In the end it comes down to whose heart is stronger."
He leaned in close, pulse drumming. Just a whisper away. All he could see were her bright, mesmerising eyes.
"Because your heart might be decided, my Lady. But so is mine."
So this fic was originally established to create a simple comparison between Marinette's regard for Adrien and Chat's regard for Ladybug. And then it kind of decided it was going to run away with the plot and became this thing. I'm not sure quite what it is, but anyway.