Disclaimer: I do not own "Twilight" or its characters. They belong to Stephenie Meyer. Please don't sue...yada, yada, yada...

A/N: The only reason I'm doing this short story is because I like to challenge myself as a writer. I have a hard time doing sappy depressing pieces. I've always dealt with my angst through laughter and sarcasm. So it was difficult for me to go to this dark and emo-ish place.

I know the first two chapters are long, but I've always been one to take my time with writing. It's completely different than the last story that I wrote (The Dawn Was Already Broken). This one's much darker. Just a fair warning to you.

Prelude: Tears welled up in my eyes. I didn't care if I was branded a sissy for life. How could I not cry? I was watching my sister die. Panic. Complete and utter panic. She was dying, and I couldn't do a damn thing. I was helpless. This completely sucked.

Chapter 1:

Fuck you, World!

"Leah? Are you almost done?" Seth pounded on the door.

"Leave me alone, Seth!" I snapped angrily at my fourteen-year-old brother.

"What's your problem? Stop hogging the bathroom. I've really gotta pee!"

"Then go find a jar."

He let out an aggravated grunt as he stormed down the hallway. I laughed. Leave it to my brother to act like a four-year-old baby who didn't get his way. I wouldn't expect him to understand. I was in agonizing pain.

Nothing could compare to the heartache that I had been dealing with for the past year. I still vividly recall the day that Sam broke my heart. When Sam broke me. He'd sat me down and gone on about nonsensical crap that I didn't understand. He discussed destiny, true love, and soul-mates. I just stared at him with my mouth half open in shock.

"What are you saying, Sam?" I had swallowed a knot in my throat.

"I'm saying that we aren't meant to be." The words stung. I would have much preferred that he shove a steak-knife directly in my heart.

"How…how can you say that? What did I do wrong?" Of course it was my fault. What wasn't my fault?

Sam shook his head.

"You didn't do anything wrong." He put his hands on my cheeks. I was doing the best I could to choke back the tears. I put my hand on top of his. The heat was burning my face. Sam's skin had always been warm to my touch.

"But…you're leaving me?" I squeaked out.

"Leah, this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do." Sam looked like he was about to cry. Why should he be sad? He wasn't the one getting his heart broken. "I…I love someone else."

If I thought it were possible I would have assumed that my heart actually tore into pieces when he said that. I could not only feel the rip, I could hear it. He went on to explain about my cousin, Emily. She had apparently opened his eyes to some bullshit love. How could two people that I loved do this to me? Sam apologized over and over. He stumbled over his words. He told me that he never meant to hurt me.

My breathing increased as I started to hyperventilate.

"Does this have anything to do with why you disappeared last month?"

He sighed, but at least he was honest. "It has everything to do with that...and more…"

"Why? What happened to you?"

He wouldn't tell me. He just stared ahead and zoned out. Aw, so breaking my heart was tough for him. Well, poor freakin' Sam. I think that's when I let the bitter Leah take over. He sat there while I bitched at him. He let me bitch at him. And I had run myself out of steam to the point where all I could do was weep like a little sissy.

"One day you'll understand," Sam said as he stood up. He glanced to the door. I guess he wanted to get to an exit before I killed him.

"Do you not love me anymore?" I asked. He looked down, refusing to answer. I grabbed his hand roughly and pulled on it. "Tell me you don't love me anymore."

"I won't tell you that." Sam finally shook his head. "But I will say that I don't see you in the same light anymore." He gave me the 'let's still be friends' speech. I hissed at him to leave.

That was a year ago. A year to the day. A couple of weeks ago Emily asked me to be a bridesmaid at her wedding. At first the only thing I could think was, Are you freaking kidding me? She had the nerve to ask me that?

But I decided that fighting it wasn't going to do any good. My mom would make me do it anyway. So I'd said yes.

Ah, yes. There's nothing like a wedding to make you realize how alone you really are. How was I going to get through it? Watching all the happy little couples doting on each other affectionately. Rubbing it in my fucking face that I had no one.

I slammed the cabinet door and huffed angrily, I am unwanted. As I stood here in the bathroom staring at the circles under my eyes I couldn't even muster up a whimper. Sam didn't want me anymore. I must be unlovable. Because Sam and I were meant to be. Having your soul-mate tell you that he's in love with your cousin hurts. A lot.

Even though we had been apart for a year now I could still recall the break up like it was yesterday. I remember crying after he left. I remember curling up into a ball and sobbing uncontrollably. I remember how I had stayed like that until my mother found me. When I saw the panicked look on her face I decided that I didn't want anyone to worry about me. So I had been going along like everything was fan-fucking-tastic. I was putting on that brave face so I wouldn't have to deal with everyone's pity around me. But I couldn't stand to lie anymore. Lying to those around me was easy. But I couldn't lie to myself anymore. If Sam didn't want me then no one could have me.

I'd been thinking about this ever since Emily told me that she and Sam were getting married. Of course, it was still pretty far away. Emily wanted to have a long engagement. For what reason I couldn't say.

But when I saw the ring on her finger my heart broke again. I couldn't continue to face my heartbreak. But what other option did I have?

That's what I was standing here debating to myself about right now. I didn't want to feel my heartbreak anymore, so the only logical thing to do was to take out the source of my pain. And since I would never dream of hurting Sam and Emily, I had to stop my heart from pumping. Because that was the only way to get rid of the pain. To kill it. But how should I do it? What would be the easiest way to get out of this hellhole?

I heard my mom and dad laughing downstairs. I sighed. This would be hard for them. I had thought that far in advance. It would be difficult for my parents. And maybe even my soft-hearted little brother. But no one else would give a crap. Ever since I graduated high school I hadn't seen any of my friends. They all moved on to bigger and better things. And here I was locked in my parents' bathroom contemplating how to off myself.

Mom and dad's laughter echoed the house again. Maybe it would be easier on them if I just left a note stating that I was running away. Then maybe I could use the woods for cover and just slice my wrists out there. Or maybe I could just swallow a bunch of pills and go to sleep in the rain. That sounded like the easiest thing to do. And it wouldn't be as messy to clean up. I huffed. As if keeping it clean would actually matter. And freezing to death didn't seem like a bad way to go. Plus if I froze to death then I would still be able to donate my organs. I let out a sour laugh. I felt bad for the SOB that wound up with my heart. The poor sucker would end up with a heart more messed up than the one they originally had. I could just see some sixty-year-old transplant recipient calling his nurse, "Um...excuse me, can I get my old busted heart back please? This one is too damn depressing..."

I slunk out of the bathroom and into my room. I laid on my bed contemplating whether or not I really wanted to go through with this. The rain was really coming down out there tonight. I walked over to my window and cracked it. The cold air nearly took my breath away. Yes, tonight would be a perfect night to die.

After putting a little more thought into it I decided that I would take a cold shower first. That way my body temperature would already be low, so it wouldn't take me as long to freeze. Seth was pissed when I took over the bathroom again. But I wasn't in there very long this time. I stood in the shower and let the cold droplets roll down my back. After a while my teeth started to chatter uncontrollably. I threw a towel around myself and made a mad dash for my bedroom. I had left my window open, so the room was filled with freezing air. I could see my breath as I pulled on a shirt and some exercise shorts. I sure as hell didn't want to die naked. Like I wanted my tits to be the cover page for the next ten years?

Looking out the window I noticed that the rain had turned to a heavy snow.

"Excellent." The fates were working with me tonight. Guess I really was destined to die.

In the end I decided that with the snow I wouldn't need much else to kill me. All I had to do was go outside in my underwear and I'd freeze to death rather quickly.

I scribbled a note to my parents. All it said was, "I've gotta get out of here for a while. I love you" and then I gingerly climbed out my window. I let my bare feet hit the snow that was covering the ground.

I screamed in my head, Holy shit, that's freaking freezing! But I knew that with nothing covering my feet my body temperature wouldn't stay normal very long. I had barely gotten out of my yard by the time I'd lost feeling in my toes. I turned around and looked at my house one last time and let out a sigh.

"I love you. I'm sorry."

I pushed myself to keep going even when I couldn't feel anything below my knees anymore. My hands were trembling so badly that the movement from watching them was causing me to get motion sickness. I had gone at least a couple of miles into the woods. But I had to keep going. It still wasn't far enough away. I wanted to make sure that if anyone came looking for me, they wouldn't find me in time.

After another hour of walking my chest started to feel heavy. I finally gave up. I couldn't go any further. I was way past sluggish. I slid down against a tree and let out a sigh. My entire body was numb. At this rate I wouldn't have to wait very long for the sweet release of death. I couldn't wait until my heart, like my fingers and toes, went numb. Then I wouldn't have to hurt over Sam Uley anymore. I glanced at my feet. They were cut and bleeding from all of the walking I had been doing. My eyes started to burn as the wind picked up.

As I shivered in the cold dark forest I thought about my life. My entire life I had never had anyone to care about…until Sam. He made me love life. But like everything else in my life...that wasn't going to last. Some people are never meant to have friends...or love. Some people were meant to be alone forever.

I sighed. I was born alone. And so it was only fitting that I should die alone.

Seth's POV:

My life was kind of in the crapper at the moment. I was constantly getting ragged on in school for being such a nice guy. And home life wasn't much better. Leah pretty much did everything she could to make my life a living hell. It's what big sister's do I suppose. I couldn't hate her for being angry. The thing with Sam was kind of a raw deal for her. When he broke up with her she turned into a bitter angry shrew. And even though she took some of her misplaced rage out on me I still wanted to beat the shit out of Sam Uley for hurting my sister. And one of these days...after I gained like forty pounds of muscles and a set of testicles...I just might do that.

I fell back on to my bed, bored as hell. Ever since Jacob stopped wanting to hang out I didn't really have much of a life. It was the same thing every night. TV, dinner with my parents and Leah…if she so felt like gracing us with her presence, and then I'd disappear into my room and either play video games or read comic books.

Hmm, which would it be tonight? After a moment I decided that I was a little tired of the same old video games. I could beat them all with my eyes closed at this point. I pulled out a stack of comic books and started to thumb through them. I sighed. Leah was right. I was a loser. It was a Friday night, and I was sitting at home reading comic books. I could hear my sister's voice in the back of my head taunting me, "You are a NERD!"

There was a knock at my door.

"It's open." I really should consider locking my door. It's a good thing these weren't nudie magazines. I couldn't imagine the shock on my mother's face if she found her precious little baby boy drooling over centerfolds of hot naked women. Hold that thought for a later date. I nodded to myself.

My father peered in. "What are you up to?"

Being a worthless loser because my only friend is acting all menopausal. Jacob's mood swings were completely irrational these days. I couldn't figure out what was going on with him. I knew he was spending a lot of time with the Swan girl lately. And I didn't blame him. She was pretty cute.

"Just glancing over some old comics."

He winked at me. "That's my boy." He got all excited and started babbling on about some of the comics that he'd read growing up. Okay, so he was to blame for my "nerd" gene. Thanks, dad. Couldn't I have just inherited diabetes or something else from you instead?

As he was standing up to leave I saw him scratch his head. "Oh, I almost forgot about the reason I came in here."

To mock me for having absolutely no life?

"Have you seen your sister?" he questioned.

The question caught me off-guard. Wasn't Leah in her room drawing pictures of Sam headless and dying on the ground? That's usually how she spent her Friday evenings. I seldom heard her crying anymore. At first it was hard for me to deal with my sister's pain. I'd much rather have her screaming at me and calling me an idiot. I didn't do well when girls cried. I got all freaked out and didn't know what to do.

"Haven't seen her in a few hours. She was hogging the bathroom," I explained. I saw my dad's face crinkle with worry. "Why? What is it? Is something wrong?"

His face went back to normal as he let out a smile. "No. Nothing to be overly-concerned about. You know Leah. She likes to cause drama…"

Boy, did she ever. I rolled my eyes. No one could throw a tantrum like my nineteen-year-old sister.

"Your mother and I are just a little worried about her. She left a note in her room about leaving for a little while. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?"

I had no idea what went on in Leah's brain. I don't think that Leah knew what was going on in Leah's brain.

"Nope. She's probably just blowing off some steam."

"That's what I said. But I think your mother would feel better if someone went out to look for her…"

"And?"

"You know her better than we do." Not that much better. "We figured you would know where she might go."

"You want me to go after her?" I questioned.

"If you don't have any other plans." Of course I didn't have any other plans. It had already been established that I was a LOSER!

Why the hell was he asking me to do this? He was the man of the house. I sighed. Lately his heart hadn't been faring too well. If someone had to go sludge through the snow to look for my bratty sister, I guess I was the perfect candidate. Whoop-dee-do for being young and healthy.

I looked at my clock. It was 8:00. What better way to spend the start of my weekend than going on a wild goose chase in the snow after my punk sister?

"Sure. Why not?" I made my way to the phone. If I had to go out searching for Leah I didn't really feel like doing it alone.

I dialed a number. I hadn't seen Jake in a while. I had to wonder if he had plans. He probably did…with Bella. But at this point I wasn't going to be picky. I'd tell him to bring her along. Whatever. As long as I didn't have to brave the cold alone.

It rang forever. I was about to give up when I finally heard a husky voice answer.

"Jake?" I questioned. He sounded different. Older. More full of angst.

"What's up, Seth?" His tone stayed flat.

"How've you been? I haven't seen you in weeks."

"I've been busy," he said. It sounded like he was angry.

"Oh. Okay. Well, uh, you haven't seen Leah by any chance, have you?"

"No."

"Cuz she took off and my mom and dad are worried…"

He cut me off, "I got my own problems, kid." Wow, he was in a crappy mood tonight.

"Oh." I looked down at my feet. What was his problem lately? "Well I'm going to go look for Leah and I just thought it might be more enjoyable with some company or something…"

Jacob sighed, "Sorry. I didn't mean to be snappy with you. It's just…there's a lot going on lately."

"Anything I can help with?" I didn't like to hear Jacob so worn down.

He was quick to respond.

"No! No, you can't help." He said that like he didn't want me involved in whatever he was up to.

"Fine. Forget it. I'm going to find my sister," I snapped.

"Seth, wait..."

"Yeah?"

"If you don't want to go alone…" Well, he had killed my idea of wanting to go with him. I would much rather Jacob not come if he was going to keep up this attitude.

"No. I get it. You're busy with your own life," I said. I could be a jerk, too.

"I'll give Embry a call." Jacob was still being an asshole.

"Great. Bye."

"Bye." Click. He hung up pretty damn fast. I wonder if he would even call Embry. He didn't seem very interested in what was going on in the Clearwater household. I tried not to let it bother me. I threw on some warm clothes and walked out the door.

I made my way to Embry Call's place a few blocks away. Even with the snow coming down as hard as it was I could still see Embry's place from a mile away. His mother was very crafty when it came to decorating her yard.

Just as I was getting ready to knock on the front door it opened. I stood there with my hand still in a fist ready to knock on the door. I undid the fist and waved.

"Hey, Embry." Holy shit. He had gone through one hell of a growth spurt. I looked like a puny midget next to him.

"Oh, Seth. Hi." He looked confused...and a little annoyed. "I was just on my way to your place…" Well, he sure wasn't dressed for this kind of weather. The only thing he had on was a pair of sweatpants. He was practically naked. How was he not freezing his ass off? The wind blew and I got chilled. I shivered.

"So, you're going to help me look for Leah?"

Embry nodded. "Let's go."

"Uh, aren't you forgetting something? Like…clothes?" I questioned.

"I've been running a fever lately. I'm hot." Embry shrugged.

"At least put on a shirt. You're making me cold," I complained. Plus, I don't feel like staring at your damn chest for two hours.

"Fine." He disappeared and then reappeared a few minutes later wearing a shirt.

Embry and I walked in silence for almost half an hour. He looked so different. And he was acting weird, too. It's like he had become a completely different person. It was actually a little scary. It reminded me of the way Jake was acting.

"Hey, do you know what's up with Jacob lately? He's been really moody."

"I haven't noticed," Embry said. That was a lie. I wish he would have just been honest with me. Embry couldn't lie. And when he did he looked like a jackass.

"Right. So, the mood swings are all in my head?" I questioned.

"He's a sixteen-year-old guy. We're moody." Embry played it off coolly.

"Yeah, but it just seems like it's more than that. Ever since you guys started hanging out with Sam…"

Embry stopped me.

"Don't talk about this, Seth. You don't know the first thing about the situation. Trust me." So, he was admitting there was a situation?

"You guys can trust me," I said quietly. I hated not being in on secrets.

"We couldn't say anything even if we wanted to." Embry let out a bitter laugh.

I huffed angrily and shoved my hands into my pockets as far as they would go. I knew I was way too old to be sulking about this, but I didn't care.

We walked a few more minutes in silence and then I whined, "Can't you just give me a little hint?"

But Embry wasn't paying attention to me anymore. Something else had caught his attention. I looked around, but didn't see anything. I looked at Embry. He was bright and alert. His head was angled up as if he was sniffing the air. What was he? A dog or something?

"Embry, what is…"

"This way." Embry didn't even let me finish as he broke into a jog. I ran along after him through some trees.

When he stopped I nearly bowled him over. I quickly stepped to his side and my heart jumped into my chest. There was a lump leaning up against a tree. But it wasn't just a lump. It was a person.

Leah was covered in snow. I ran over to her. Embry followed.

"Leah?" I questioned. I breathed a sigh of relief as she looked up at me angrily. Still my pissy sister and not a dead body. That was a plus. But the moment I took a closer look I could see that she wasn't in good shape. The snow around her feet was stained a light red color from all of the scrapes on her legs.

"How long did you say she's been missing?" Embry asked calmly. How could he be so calm about what was going on?

"I don't know. A couple hours maybe?" I guessed. I tried to think about how long it had been since we were yelling at each other at the house. I'd seen her close to five. She had skipped dinner tonight, though. Had she been sitting out here for four hours freezing to death while I read comic books at home?

"She doesn't look so hot." Embry bit his bottom lip in concern. He looked around the woods as if he were searching for something.

"Damn it, Leah! Get your ass off of the ground right now!" I grabbed her arm and tried to get her to stand up. When I touched her I realized just how cold she was. She felt like a giant block of ice. I leaned down as I softened my tone. "Leah?" I felt her cheeks. They were frozen. It was then that I realized that she was in serious trouble. She was shivering. I knew it didn't have a thing to do with the cold weather. Her body was shutting down.

She was so weak she could barely even form a response. Her voice was distant as she moaned to me. "Go away, Seth."

Jesus. Her fucking lips were blue. I started to freak out. I didn't want my sister to die. I shook her to see just how coherent she was.

"Hey, look at me, Leah!"

She groaned as she opened her eyes long enough to look at me. The glance wasn't long. I saw her eyes roll back in to her head.

"Oh, no. No, you are not going to do this to me. Wake up!" I panicked as I took her shoulders and shook her again. This time she didn't respond. My heart started to race as I looked up at Embry. "Embry, can you go get my mom and dad?" I was fighting total mental breakdown here. I had to keep some kind of brain-capacity. I had to keep my sister alive. I quickly tore off my jacket and put it around her exposed arms. She groaned uncomfortably. Her hands were purple. I took them in mine and tried to warm them up.

He shook his head. "We don't have time for that." He looked around again. What the hell was he looking for? "I'll be right back. Keep her warm." Embry jogged away.

"Where the hell are you going, man? My sister is dying!"

"I'm going for help!" I heard Embry call out to me as he disappeared into the woods.

Leah was completely out. I could see her muscles twitching as she succumbed to the cold weather. I did the only thing I could thing of. I crawled next to her and wrapped myself around her. I don't know how much good I was going to do. I was frozen stiff myself. Out of habit I started rocking back and forth gently. If Leah were conscious she would probably be making fun of me by saying something like, "What are you? A mother rocking her infant child to sleep? Grow a pair, you sissy" Oh, what I wouldn't give for my sister to be nagging me and teasing me at this very moment.

"Please hold on, Leah," I begged.

I was surprised when I got a response, "S…seth?" she stuttered. So she wasn't unconscious yet.

"Just hang on. Embry went for help." I hugged my sister tightly. I was freaking the fuck out.

Her words were jumbled as she mumbled, "D…don't want t-t-to…" She shivered. "I-I-I'm sorry."

What the hell was she apologizing for? It's not her fault that her body couldn't handle extreme temperatures.

"D-d-don't tell S-s-sam." As Leah slipped into unconsciousness again, I sat there like a grade-A moron. I had no clue what to do.

I heard a low howl in the distance. Great, as if this night wasn't bad enough already. Now we were going to get eaten by wolves. I had never been a religious person, but as I watched my sister slowly slipping away I closed my eyes and whimpered out, "Please don't take her from me..."

Another howl.

I pulled Leah closer to me and continued to hope against hope that miracles really did exist.