Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, even though I very much wish I did. I tell you what, if I could meet them, I totally would.
"Why do you always have to be right, Catherine?" I yelled, placing my hands on her desk and leaning over while she stood up and mirrored my actions.
"I'm your superior, Sidle," she yelled back, her blue eyes full of rage, "if I say do something, you do it!"
"I'm not your damn monkey; if you tell me to jump I'm not going to ask how high!" That wasn't exactly true. I was in love with her and in normal cases, I would gladly do anything she asked me to… but not this time. Not this case. But to be honest, I don't even remember what we were arguing about when we started, but I couldn't let her know that. These fights are the fuel for my fantasies and you'd have to be crazy not to want to fantasize about Catherine Willows.
"You know what, Sidle?" she spat, coming around her desk and stopping in front of me while I turned to her, crossing my arms, "if you didn't get so damn upset from domestic violence cases like this, we wouldn't be having this conversation."
All the rage in my eyes and the color in my face drained as I stood there, staring at her in disbelief with my mouth open. But she didn't take that as a cease fire.
"What's your problem anyway?" she questioned, poking my chest with her finger and placing her other hand on her hip. "Did you have daddy problems?" The rage was back. "Or mommy problems?" That was it. I balled up my fists, trying to resist the urge to shut her the fuck up myself.
"You don't know a damn thing, Willows. So I would suggest you shut the fuck up," I hissed angrily. She still didn't get the picture.
"Oh, I think I just reopened an old wound and poured salt on it. So tell me, what happened? Were you Mommy's or Daddy's little girl?" Okay, I was fucking pissed now; I just couldn't stop myself.
"You know something? Your theory is just a tad bit off. You see, my dad used to beat my mother and me every single fucking day. He would beat the crap out of her, rape her, then come after me and do the same. But one day, my mother just couldn't take it anymore and she killed him in front of me with a damn knife! So don't you dare fucking say I'm either one of their girl!" By the time I finished throwing my fucked up past in her face, Catherine was staring at me, her mouth open, and her blue eyes clear of rage and now sporting sympathy.
"Sara…"
"No, you know what? I'm a worthless piece of crap that can't do anything right apparently." It almost looked like she regretted what she had said. Good. "So- so don't even bother." I mumbled that last part, exiting her office quickly before the tears could start falling down my face. I kept picking up speed until I got to the locker room and grabbed my bag quickly, slamming my locker shut and punching it multiple times, my knuckles becoming torn and bloody. I exhaled in a huff and leaned my head against it, allowing the tears to flow steadily down my face.
"Sara?" I heard my voice and instantly put up my hardened walls again, wiping my tears with the back of my hand.
"What do you want, Greg?" I spat at him. I honestly didn't mean to sound that angry. Really.
"Whoa, calm down there, hun," he said, holding his hands up in surrender. I sighed and sat on the bench, not looking at him.
"What's wrong? Is it Catherine again?" he asked, sitting beside me and placing his hand gently on my back. Yeah, he knew everything about my feelings about Catherine and almost everything about me, including my craptastic past.
"Yeah," I mumbled, looking up at him slightly and then lowering my head again.
"Why don't you just tell her, Sara? There's nothing you can lose."
"Yeah, actually, she could reject me," I spat, looking at him, my mouth in a tight line, my jaw clenched. He sat there staring at me for several seconds, waiting to see if I would continue.
"That's it? You're just not willing to risk it?"
I stiffened. Was that the only reason? No. Why didn't I just tell her? Oh yeah. Not only was I afraid to risk her rejecting me, but I also didn't want to let her see the vulnerable side of me. And, she is gorgeous, smart, and incredible, has a great life, is sexy, ridiculously hot, loving caring, and knows how to get under my skin… she's perfect. And I? I'm just some fucked up, worthless, anti-social person with a horrible past. Besides, she's way out of my league, especially since she's straight, or at least really good at pretending to be. My eyes scanned back and forth between two spots on my lockers, almost looking for an answer in the cold metal.
"Earth to Sara," a voice said as a hand waved in my face. I shook away my previous thoughts and looked to my right to see Catherine sitting beside me. My expression instantly hardened once more. Where the hell had Greg gone? Why hadn't I noticed that he'd left and that Catherine had come in? I didn't realize I was staring until she raised an eyebrow and chuckled with a smirk playing on her lips.
"What? What's so funny?" I mumbled, trying to sound mad but instead sounding miserably pitiful.
"Just how cute you look when you stare," she whispered, sticking her tongue out slightly and winking. I couldn't form a complete thought as I saw her tongue dart out of her mouth and then back in, causing me to imagine how good it would feel – okay Sara, stop fantasizing.
"You're still doing it, you know," she pointed out, smirking.
"I can't help it," I whispered, biting my lip softly, with a small smirk. I saw her eyes widen and brought myself to the conclusion that I probably shouldn't have said that. "I, uh… I gotta get home." Yeah, that was the worst lie I've ever come up with; no reason to back it up even. I stood up and walked past her, but before I got too far, she grabbed my arm.
"I- I'm sorry," she whispered, almost too quiet for me to hear. "For everything," she continued, looking down at the floor. I looked back over my shoulder and saw her blue eyes sympathetic and something else… maybe love? Or affection? I couldn't help but stare again; she looked almost vulnerable. "For everything. I mean, I was way off base. I should've never said any of what I did. And, just for the record, you're not worthless or a piece of crap. I-I'm just really sorry, Sara…" I didn't know what to say, so I just stood there, a small smile forming on my face unconsciously.
"What's with that silly smile on your face?" she asked, smiling back and raising an eyebrow slightly. I turned around and she released my arm. I sat back down beside her and put my hands by my hips, my palms resting on the cold surface.
"You know, I never thought it was possible for the great Catherine Willows to apologize," I teased, my previous foul and miserable moods fading slowly.
"And I never thought it was possible for the serious Sara Sidle to tease," she teased back, winking with a smirk on her face.
"I guess there's a lot we don't know about each other, huh?" I pointed out. "How about we go for breakfast and learn more about each other?" Okay, I should've thought about what I was saying before saying it. I mean, we were barely getting along, especially before this moment. Why were we getting along anyway? I mean, we had just fought like ten minutes ago and now we're acting like best friends? Wait, what did she just say?
"Wait, what?" Yeah, very eloquent, Sara.
She laughed. "I said I'd love to. Lindsey's at Nancy's for a couple days."
"Oh. Fantastic," I exclaimed, grinning, but once again, not thinking. "Well, I mean, that… that Lindsey's with Nancy. I mean. She must be a fantastic aunt. And Lindsey's a fantastic girl; you're lucky to have her. She must be a handful though… er, not in a bad way, but I mean you work late nights and–"I stopped when she placed her forefinger on my lips, silencing me effectively.
"I was rambling, wasn't I?" I asked, my lips brushing against her soft finger.
"Yes, yes you were. And as adorable as it was, I'd prefer to eat breakfast before I starve to death and make you have to work longer," she said, taking her finger away; I instantly missed it. "But you probably wouldn't mind that," she added teasingly.
"I'd probably come back from the death to process my own crime scene," I replied jokingly, grinning and standing up. She giggled. God how I love that sound.
"Since when does Sara Sidle make jokes about herself?" She extended her hand, requesting me to help her up. I grabbed her hand gently and pulled her up slowly, smiling.
"Since she was given a reason to," I replied; since I met you. She stepped closer and pinned me to a locker without even laying a finger on me. I bit my bottom lip, my heart starting to beat faster in my chest.
"And what reason would that be?" She questioned, raising an eyebrow and placing one of her hands near my shoulder and the other on her hip. She smirked as she saw me grow nervous.
"Well, you k-know. Just the – uh – typical reasons. You know," I stuttered, trying not to focus on how close she was. I could already smell her perfume, the shampoo she used. I thought about how her strawberry blonde hair falls in her face whenever she leans over a table looking over evidence, the way her hips sway when she walks away, the way her eyes light up when she smiles or laughs, the way all her intense energy is focused on me when we fight, the way her lips move when she says something. Oh wait, she's doing that now.
"Wait, what?" That was the second time in ten minutes.
"Geez, Sara, try to stay with me here, Hun. I said I don't know."
"Don't know what?"
"Your reasons behind making jokes about yourself."
"Oh." She waited, expecting an answer, but when I didn't give her one, she stepped back a small smirk on her face. I frowned slightly, my bottom lip protruding slightly more than was usual. I decided to take a chance like Greg had mentioned. I put my hands on her hips gently, pulling her closer. She raised an eyebrow again but didn't pull back or stop smiling; that was a good sign.
"Let's just say since I met a certain someone…" I whispered huskily as I leaned close to her ear, my breath caressing over it. I barely resisted the urge to flick my tongue against her earlobe. I could feel her shudder and when I pulled back slightly, her eyes flickered from my eyes to my lips, her eyes darkening slowly. I knew that look. She leaned closer, her lips almost touching mine; I could feel her breath on my lips.
I closed the distance, starting the tentative kiss. I ran my hands around to the small of her back as she brought her hands up to cup my face. I pulled her closer, our bodies melding together, and nibbled her bottom lip gently and then ran my tongue over it slowly, requesting entrance to her mouth. She complied and moaned slightly, pushing me against the lockers with her body, one of her hands going behind my neck, running her tongue over mine and trying to dominate the kiss. I switched our positions, almost slamming her into the lockers – which elicted a moan mixed with a gasp – and pulled back slowly, but not before I bit her bottom lip gently again.
"Wow," we both said in unison. I leaned down and rested my forehead against hers, looking into her lust-filled eyes; I could only imagine mine were close to black by now. We stood in this position for several minutes – my hands rested once again on her hips, her arms around my neck, our bodies melded together, and her back firmly against the lockers. I smirked and kissed her slightly swollen lips softly, much more innocently than the previous kiss.
"We should probably get that breakfast now," I whispered against her lips, planting small kisses on her lips, cheek, and neck. She shook her head and I kissed her lips again, a devious smirk forming on her lips.
"I'm only hungry for one thing now, Sidle," she whispered huskily, taking my bottom lip between her teeth and bit down playfully. Well, if I wasn't turned on already, I definitely would be now, and I would've taken the implied offer if her stomach hadn't growled at that exact moment. I chuckled softly and kissed her lips gently.
"Come on, let's grab breakfast and then we'll see where that leads," I whispered against her lips before planting a small kiss. She frowned slightly and I kissed her again.
"Come on, baby, we'll pick up right where we're leaving off right after breakfast," I whispered into her ear before running the tip of my tongue over her lobe and biting down gently.
"Fine," she purred into my ear, "only if you give me a strip tease." I pulled back and looked at her, raising an eyebrow. Me? Give a former stripper a strip tease? That actually made me laugh out loud.
"What? Don't think you can do it?" she said in response. I shook my head, grinning.
"I just find it amusing that you, the incredibly sexy and skilled Catherine, want me, the geeky, workaholic Sara, to give you a strip tease." She had the devious smile again and her eyes seemed to darken another shade again.
"Maybe I could demonstrate for you…" Just the thought of that made me want to skip breakfast and go straight for dessert. I shook my head, trying to shake my fantasies away.
"Breakfast. You. Me. Now," I ordered with a grin, adding, "Stop distracting me." She was about to say something, but I silenced her with my lips on hers. I pulled back and removed her hands from my neck, holding them in my own. I smiled and kissed her gently again, stroking her hands with my thumbs. I released her left hand and entwined our other hands' fingers. I picked up my bag again and headed toward the door.
"Shall we?" I asked, smiling at her. She smiled back, walking in step with me.
"Let's," she responded as we walked out of the locker room and headed toward the front.
About twenty minutes later, we were at a small diner, sitting in the back and talking about random things ranging from Lindsey to people at work. Another topic was why the waitress was flirting with me.
"Hey, don't ask me," I said, laughing and putting my hands up in mock surrender, "it's not like I'm sending her any signals. My signals are only for you, baby." I clicked my tongue as I snapped my fingers into a 'gun' and winked with a smirk. She rolled her eyes and grinned.
"You're crazy, you know that?" she teased, chuckling softly. I exhaled with a grin and waved my hand at her dismissively.
"Crazy for you baby, besides don't forget that you want me to give you a strip dance and you're willing to give me one too… plus more. So maybe you're the crazy one," I reminded her, continuing to grin. A blush graced her cheeks and she lightly kicked my leg from under the table. I laughed and reached across the table, putting my hand on hers gently. I slowly stroked her hand with my thumb for awhile.
"I think," I started, staring at her hand while I continued to stroke it, "that you should come sit over here. I'm feeling a little… lonely." I looked up to her blue eyes and she smirked and raised an eyebrow.
"You sure it's just lonely you're feeling?" I had to laugh at that, while shaking my head. Of course it wasn't just that. She slid out of her side of the booth and joined me by my side.
"See, I'm less lonely already," I stated, turning towards her and taking one of her hands and brushing the back with my lips teasingly.
I kissed my way up her hand, wrist, arm, and then neck, stopping at her pulse point and kissing it with slightly more force than the previous feather-like kisses. She bit her lip and I kissed down her jaw line to her chin and finally reached where I was going for the whole time: her lips. Just as I was about to kiss her, the waitress came with the food and I could see Warrick, Nick, and Greg coming in from the parking lot. I pulled back but took her hand in mine as I positioned our hands on her thigh. The waitress smiled at me and glared at Catherine, who returned her look with the famous Catherine Willows death glare. I snickered as the waitress turned quickly and scurried away. Nick, Warrick, and Greg joined us on the other side and Greg smiled and winked at me. I responded with a grin, slight nod, and a wink causing Catherine to look at me questioningly. I shrugged, indicating I would share with her later.
"Hello ladies. I hope you don't mind us joining you," Nick said with hi southern accent, a smile on his face.
"…and if you do, well… that's just too bad, 'cause you can't get rid of us now," Greg added, laughing at his own comment and picking up a menu.
I rolled my eyes at them and laughed softly, starting to eat with my left hand, Catherine taking my lead and starting to eat as well. Greg shot me a look and mouthed 'why are you eating with your left?' I shot him a glare, but shifted my eyes to my right then back up, smiling, not wanting the other guys to notice, even though they were busy chatting animatedly with Catherine. The waitress brought food for the guys and smiled at them all and then scurried away again without looking at me or Catherine.
"What are you guys up to anyway? We didn't see you two even leave the lab," Warrick state curiously. Catherine started blushing slightly and lowered her head slightly, bringing a piece of toast to her mouth.
"Work was over. Figured we would grab breakfast," I answered, squeezing Catherine's hand gently and stroked her hand with my thumb. Catherine looked back up, her blush and piece of toast gone.
"And you guys haven't killed each other yet? Well, that's a good sign at least," Nick started. He thought more into it, a puzzled look forming on his face, and then added, "Wait, why haven't you guys?" I laughed and Catherine glared at him then grinned. Nick and Warrick looked at each other, raised their eyebrows, and then looked back at us.
"I think they've lost it," Warrick answered Nick with a laugh. "All that crime must have finally turned them insane."
"I don't think they had it to begin with," Greg joined in, grinning.
"Yeah, or maybe they've been hanging around the chemicals too much lately," Nick added to the theories. Catherine and I rolled our eyes at the boys and smiled at each other. Greg winked at me and we all laughed.
After several more minutes of small talk, Catherine and I were becoming quite impatient.
"Well, since you guys joined us without an invite, I think you guys deserve to pay the bill," Catherine said. "Besides, I have to get home to Lindsey. She's been expecting me and we need to finish something we started earlier." I looked at her when she added that, my brows furrowing together slightly. She had told me that Lindsey was at Nancy's. She winked at me and then I knew what she meant. I was 'Lindsey' in this case and we had to finish what we started earlier.
"Yeah, and uh, I – I have to go home and water my plant," I added not very convincingly. Greg rolled his eyes, a smile on his face. The only plant I had was a plastic tree in one of those basket… things. We unlinked our hands and crawled out of the booth, heading for the doors.
"Bye, ladies. See you later tonight!" Greg called to us, causing us to stop and glare at him.
"Actually, Catherine and I have tonight off," I clarified, trying to hide my excitement and doing so successfully. Greg grinned.
"Well then, enjoy yourselves, ladies," was the last thing we heard before we walked out into the 'cool' Vegas morning.