Another from my list. In fact, another two. It started off just being the shorter one and as I was re-reading them all again, I realised I could fit them both together. I've done it.
I own nothing, all belongs to the usual, Ryan, Brad, Fox and Co.
Reviews are appreciated. I do appreciate the amounts of Favorites and Alerts I got with the last ones I posted, but honestly, reviews are love.
I do a lot of thinking before I go to sleep. I play scenes in my head. I practice the things I want to say. I have endless 'what IF's'. I make plans for the next day. I think of all the people I miss. I think of all the ones I hate. I ask myself a lot of questions.
I know where your place is (and it's not with her).
Of course he'd break her heart. Of course, like everyone else, he'd go running back to Quinn. First it had been Finn and then Sam. Was she really that bad? Was she really a horrible girlfriend?
She had missed Finn for a grand total of 34 days before Sam came along and swept her off her feet. Quite literally, she had slipped over and he caught her in time and held onto her for a few seconds longer than he really should have done. She hadn't expected it. Not only Sam stopping her from being completely humiliated, but him sweeping off her feet and having her fall for him and his boyish charm.
He had been everything Finn hadn't been and so much more. She couldn't help but wonder why Quinn had been so stupid as to let him go. To choose Finn over Sam. Because if she knew both boys as well as she now did and had to make a choice, she'd choose Sam. He was a much better boyfriend than Finn had been. She didn't have to search for compliments, he just done it. He just told her she looked beautiful, he asked her to sing when they were watching Funny Girl, he told her that he loved her in English, Na'vi and Italian when he first said it. So, of course, she'd choose Sam.
Honestly, she thought he would choose her too, given the choice. She thought that they'd got over their exes. She certainly had and only spoke to Finn when she really had to. She thought that each time he told her that he loved her, he actually meant it. But he was another boy to add to the list of ones who broke her heart. Alright, so there was only two boys so far and one had just broken a tiny piece of it in comparison to how shattered it was when Sam told her that he was going to give things with Quinn another go.
It had taken everything she had not to break down and cry right there, outside her locker. She loved him. She truly loved him and he'd broken her. It wasn't until she felt someone pull on her arm and down to the girls bathroom that she spoke. It was Santana. Did she want to torment her over her broken heart? Couldn't she at least wait a few days? Or hours, that would be better than seconds!
"You can't let her have him." The words from the Latina confused the brunette and clearly her expression made that obvious. "Quinn. You can't just let her do this to you. She took Finn from you first and you just let her. Now, she's digging her claws back into Sam and you're going to let her? Fuck, Berry. Don't do it. Don't let Quinn bully you like this."
Rachels eyebrow furrowed as he listened to the girl in front of her. But honestly, how was she meant to compete against Quinn Fabray? "I don't understand, Santana. Quinn doing this is no different to anything else she's done in the past to torment me."
"But that other crap? You didn't love that like you do Sam." Santana chuckled as Rachel blushed. "I'm not blind, neither is Puck. Admittedly I'm here because he reckons I can do this whole girl chat thing. But come on, fight for him!"
"How though? How am I supposed to compete with Quinn?"
"Honestly? You can't." Seeing the broken look on Rachel's face, Santana reached over and took her hand. "You don't wanna be Quinn. You wanna be yourself. Tell Sam how you feel. Fuck knows why he's gone back to her when he clearly loves you. She's probably putting out again."
"You think that's why? Because I haven't had sex with him yet?" Rachel asked softly. "It's not like I don't want to, I do. I'm just scared that I won't be good enough. I love him, Santana." All her worries about having sex with Sam were running through her mind as she looked at Santana. She never expected the Latina to be the one she opened up to. "He won't listen to me now, he has her back. He probably just said all those things to make me feel as though he wanted me."
"If he did, if he does stay with Quinn, he's no better than Hudson and we both know what a douche that guy is. Finn and Quinn deserve each other. But you, you've gotta go after Sam and if you need any help, I'm here and so is Puck."
Rachel nodded slowly, her eyes not leaving Santana. "Why are you doing this? Why are you being nice to me?"
Rolling her eyes, Santana knew that Rachel had every right to be like this with her, it wasn't as though she'd ever done anything to show the girl she cared. "Because Puck cares about you and I care about him. So, if I'm not nice to you, he gets pissed at me for it. Plus, you're not all that bad really." Santana shrugged her shoulders and stepped closer to Rachel, pulling her in for a hug. "Don't you dare tell anyone about this, midget."
Rachel smiled as she returned the hug. "Don't worry, your secret is safe with me."
It had been a week since Sam had broken up with her, a week since Santana had dragged her into the bathroom to talk and since then, she'd had Santana or Puck at her side at almost all times. She was hurting, she wasn't over Sam and it was going to be a while before she was. Still, she had so many thoughts running through her mind, she needed to say something to him, she needed to try and get it off her chest.
Seeing the two blondes at Sam's locker afterschool, she cautiously approached them, clearing her throat before speaking. "Sam? Can I talk to you?" The brunette asked softly, her gaze switching between the blondes, lingering on the taller longer, the look more pleading. "Please?"
"Keep your paws off my man, Berry." Quinn snapped, causing Rachel to roll her eyes.
"I'm not you, Quinn. I don't feel the need to steal other peoples boyfriends. I just wish to talk to Sam, in private."
Rachel watched Sam look at Quinn, telling her he'd meet her by his car in a few minutes, kissing her cheek before she walked off. "Hey," he said softly, turning to Rachel. "You alright?"
Rachel nodded her head slightly before taking a deep breath. "I do a lot of thinking before I go to sleep. I play scenes in my head. I practice the things I want to say. I have endless 'what IF's'. I make plans for the next day. I think of all the people I miss. I think of all the ones I hate. I ask myself a lot of questions. But up until recently, I never questioned your feelings for me," she stopped as she heard him say her name and she just shook her head. "Don't. Let me finish. Last night, I thought about what we had, how amazing it was. I asked myself why you suddenly left me for Quinn, what does she have that I don't. I get she's beautiful and popular and I'm neither, but I thought you loved me. I believed it every time you said it. I've tried to come up with reasons as to why you would tell me you love me only to go back to her and I haven't found a single one. Not one. I just know that I still love you and I'm pretty certain that feeling won't be going away for a long time. I just wish the feeling was mutual. I really do. I understand that you won't feel for me what I feel for you and that's fine. But Sam, I know where your place is, and it's not with her. You're not happy with her, I'm not the only one to notice either." She fell silent, her gaze drifting to the floor as she picked a bit of non-existent fluff from her skirt. "I should let you go, thank you for listening to me, I appreciate it." She didn't wait for a response before turning down the hallway to the auditorium, she could hide there for a while, wait until she knew they were gone.
The brunette knew that if she called Santana, she'd come and sit with her, so would Puck. But she just wanted to be alone, away from everyone else before she went home. Rachel couldn't believe that it had been over so soon, she had honestly believed that things with Sam would work out, that this once, she wouldn't lose something to Quinn Fabray. The blonde was welcome to Finn, but Sam? No, he was Rachel's. She was his.
She must have been in the auditorium for about ten minutes when she heard his voice. She closed her eyes and hoped that he'd just leave her alone. Shouldn't he be with his girlfriend?
"Rach?" Sam called as he walked into the auditorium, seeing her sitting on the stage, he walked over and sat down beside her. "You were right, you know? My place isn't with her, it's with you. I screwed up, I know that. I get it if you hate me and don't want to give me another chance. But I wanna prove that I'm in this, with you. I do love you, I love you so much. I'm in love with you, beautiful. You are, so beautiful."
Rachel remained where she was, her eyes still closed, she couldn't look at him, because if she did, she'd forgive him straight away and she couldn't do that. "Why? Why did you do it?"
"Because I'm the stupidest guy ever?" Sam offered, his eyes not leaving Rachel. "Because for the past couple of weeks, I've wondered, 'what if' about my relationship with Quinn. She suggested with give things another go and I stupidly agreed. This past week, all I've realised is how much I love you. How happy you make me. I missed our Sunday together, my Mom was annoyed with having me around the house she's got so used to me being at yours all day on Sunday's." Sam paused and Rachel felt him take her hand and squeeze it, and she opened her eyes to look up at him. "I'm done with Quinn, for good. She's welcome to Finn or whoever else she wants, I don't want her. Because there's this tiny brunette who has my heart and if she's willing to give me another chance, not that I deserve it, I'm gonna take it and prove to her that she's it for me."
"Promise you'll never do it again, because it's hurt so much this past week, Sam. So, so much."
"I promise, I shouldn't have done it this time. I'm not going to make the same mistake twice. Plus, I'm pretty sure Santana and Puck would kick my ass if I did." He replied, giving her hand another small squeeze. "Wanna head home and watch Funny Girl?"
"Then Avatar afterwards? You can teach me more Na'vi." Rachel said softly, a small smile spreading across her face.
"Sounds perfect."