Well it's been a while since my last update. I've just been really busy with schoolwork and stuff. But today I felt so angry that I just needed to write something, so here it goes my precious readers! Enjoy!
Artie rolled out of the locker room feeling most humiliated. He kept his head down and his wheelchair rolled slowly. He felt dejected and discriminated. He couldn't look anyone in the eye. Not one. Especially not Finn.
Getting Finn kicked out of the football team was most likely his fault, or at least, that's how he sees it. He'd never been so ashamed in his life. Seriously, what was he thinking? He was too overwhelmed with his own emotions and his desire to have a six-pack that he mainly forgot how hard it was going to be for Finn to convince Coach Beiste too.
And as soon as he saw the look on Finn's face, he couldn't take it anymore. He expected Finn to drag him out of his chair and shove him into a locker. Or maybe Puck would do it. Or maybe the other players would do it. They all blame him for taking out their quarterback.
There was a fierce look in Finn's eyes that made Artie leave the locker room in haste. He really didn't have time for locker session today. Still, he felt guilty. Finn was a good guy, and he got him off the football team.
He just can't seem to do anything right anymore. He can't even hold on to his own girlfriend—oops, ex-girlfriend.
He kept on rolling out until the locker room entrance was out of sight, where he faced the lockers and rammed his head to the door multiple times, the kind of thing he does when he's frustrated.
With every sound of his banging, he put in more effort to make the pain sink in. The good part of being hurt so much is that eventually, you become numb until you don't feel anything anymore. Your heart is an empty box. Your mind is a massive blackout. Your actions are faked. Your expressions are temporary. Your smile becomes a disguise. And your eyes reflect a betrayal.
Sweat poured down his forehead as he continued on ramming himself to the door. His face becomes red and his eyes begin to sting. This isn't right. Artie Abrams never cries. Never. Not even when his parents got divorced. Not even when he found out he would not be able to walk anymore. Not even when the love of his life was dumping him pin-straight for a six-pack.
But the longer you suspend your tears, the more likewise the possibility of creating Niagara Falls somewhere eventually in your sorry ass of a life.
However, his ramming stopped when he heard footsteps. He then heard Finn's voice.
"What the hell is that noise?" he said.
Artie quickly picked up his head and rolled away as fast as he can. He kept looking back at the now nearing silhouette of Finn Hudson that he didn't notice what was in front.
"OW!" screamed a voice all too familiar to him. Artie looked up and saw the least person he wanted to see.
Shit.
"Watch it! Damn!" Tina cried as she held her foot, which had been mercilessly run over by Artie's chair.
"S-sorry, Tina, I'm kind of in a hurry," Artie stammered and got ready to pick up his pace again.
"What's the hurry?" Tina insisted.
Artie didn't really want to talk with Tina right now. After she had ended it with him, he found it hard to believe that she would actually still acknowledge his presence. The way her words pierced him like daggers made it clear that she didn't want to be anything with him. They couldn't talk. Things are just way too awkward.
"Running away from Finn," he said softly, his voice fading at the end.
"I'm sorry, what?"
"I'm running away from Finn!" he said clearer.
"What the davy—" she began to say, "I mean, why're you running away from Finn out of all people?"
You must keep your mouth shut, Artie. You must keep your mouth shut.
"Finn got kicked out of the football team today. And it was sort of my fault."
Smooooth. No wonder she broke up with you.
"Oh my gosh, what happened?" she inquired.
"I really don't want to talk about it."
"Because it's too painful?"
"No, because he's coming this way right now! BYE!" but before he could put his hands on the wheels, Tina had grabbed hold of the handles of his chair and pushed him out of the hallway, running as fast as her black Converse would carry her.
"TINA, WHAT THE HELL?" Artie began to yell. Tina just giggled.
They turned a sharp corner and Artie nearly fell out of his chair. Whenever they would hear footsteps behind, Tina would run faster and they'd laugh some more. It was exhilarating and exciting. Artie had never had this much fun in a long time. He missed the sound of her voice and the tinkers in her laughs. He missed her smell and the way her hair would sometimes tickle his nose when she bent down. He missed the bounce in her step and the gleam in her eyes. Surely this is what pure bliss felt like.
They came to rest in front of the choir room, both panting heavily.
"Well," said Tina, wiping the sweat from her brow, "that was quite the exercise." She smiled.
"I know, right?" Artie replied and started to laugh. Tina joined in too. Oh how he missed moments like these.
But of course, the shady mist of laughter fades out after sometime and leaves them with an awkward tension so thick, you can't cut it with a sledgehammer.
The laughs of joy turned to laughs of awkwardness. Pretty soon, their brows became furrowed and their eyes would not meet each other.
Is this really what love is like? How can you tell exactly when two people love each other? The answer is, you don't. You just know it. There is a bright aura that shields them from the outside world and you know that they would do even the most minor things for each other. Lovers or not, they'll always have each other's backs.
But if Artie and Tina love each other, why are they like this right now? They're separated and broken. You rarely see them together and when you do, you'd observe some constipated looks on their faces. Why is that? Is that how love works? Is it unfair and designed to break two people that are right for each other?
Well, picture yourself as a kid. You're in the middle of a forked road and don't know which way to go. Then a person comes and tells you to go left. Another person tells you to go right. What will you feel? Well, there's only one thing you'll feel: Confusion. Kids get confused a lot. And that's what love does; it brings out the kids in all of us. We become confused by two opposing forces and we don't know which way to go.
Such was the love of these two young hearts. Their love was but juvenile and still starting out.
With a sigh, Artie plucked up the courage to finally speak.
"So, how're you and Mike?"
Tina was silent for a while, then said, "Pretty well, really. He'd been nothing but nice to me."
"Well, if he ever causes you trouble, you know where to go," Artie said with a small smile, though his eyes expressed sincere emotion.
Tina's eyes watered.
"Oh, Artie!" she wrapped her arms around him, taking him in surprise. The hug was warm, but it was different. He did not hug back.
"I missed you," she said, "More than you know."
Artie fixed his gaze upon the open windows with blank eyes.
"You'll be fine, Tina. After all, it was your choice."
He felt Tina nod against his shoulder. Each nod felt like a stab against his heart.
"You're right," she said, though she did not let go of him, "I chose this."
"Yeah, you did. You know what's best for you and... and you picked him," he said, his own eyes watering.
"You always know the right things to say," Tina said, finally letting go and wiped her eyes. "But I don't think we can be friends anymore, Artie."
At that statement, time stopped.
Artie sighed.
"It hurts too much," she continued.
"Yeah. I guess it does," he agreed.
"But I'll never forget you, Artie. Never," she tried to give him a comforting smile.
"You too, Tee," the tears started to fall, "You were my best friend. And you always will be."
"I..." she choked on her tears, "I—I love you, Artie,"
Artie just nodded. Again he was numb from the pain.
And just as Tina was about to walk away, Artie grabbed her hand to stop her.
"Wait, Tina."
She faced him with a hopeful expression. "Yes?"
"I just wanted to tell you that you chose right. You deserve a lot better than me. You deserve someone like Mike. But... I don't know if I should congratulate you or not."
"Please don't, Artie." She pulled her hand out of his grasp.
"Okay," he said shakily as the little pretty Asian girl walked out of the hallway and out of his life.