Molly brushed a strand of hair out of her eyes with her free hand, while she bounced Ginny on her hip and leaned over Percy's shoulder.
"That's right, Percy dear, very good," she encouraged as he practiced writing the letter 'Q'.
"Mum?" Charlie tugged on her skirt to get her attention.
"Yes love?"
"How do you spell 'ridiculous'?"
She narrowed her eyes at him. "Why do you need to spell 'ridiculous'?"
"You said to write a story about my family," he explained as if it were obvious.
She took a deep, calming breath. "And you think our family is ridiculous?"
Ron toddled past, owl feathers stuck all over his body, Fred and George steps behind him with owl treats and a large cage.
"Get in Owl," they commanded, chasing him out of the kitchen.
Molly looked back at Charlie, who was grinning. "R-i-d-i-c-u-l-o-u-s."
Ginny started crying, so Molly bounced her a bit faster and patter her small back.
Bill frowned hard at his parchment and scratched his head. "Mum, what's the capital of Egypt?"
"Er…"
"Mum, does kiwi start with a 'q'?" Percy asked.
"No, it starts with a 'k'. Cairo," she answered Bill.
"Cairo?" repeated Percy softly. "Q-i…err…r-o."
"What? No, Percy, Cairo starts with a 'c'."
"But…"
"Try quilt."
"Q-u-"
"Mum! Ron won't get in the cage." Fred complained, dragging said cage behind him.
"But, he likes his treats," George said with a grin.
"Charlie, your father is not going to work for the Muggles. George, no more sweets before din- Did you say…?" Her eyes wandered over to the feathery Ron. "What in the name of Merlin's balls is wrong with you two?"
The boys all giggled.
"Merlin's balls! Merlin's balls!" Bill, Charlie, and the twins chanted, Ron clapping along.
"That's enough!" Molly barked, glaring at them each in turn. "Give me the owl treats."
She held out her hand and, head hanging, George turned them over.
"Put the cage back in Errol's room," she instructed Fred firmly. "And do it now; no waiting. Go!" She pointed.
Dragging the cage between them, the twins disappeared in the direction she had pointed.
"Oh Ronny, what did those boys do to you?" She knelt down and beckoned him over with a smile. "You didn't really eat those nasty owl treats, did you?"
Ron grabbed a couple of her curls and stretched them out just to watch them spring back up. She sighed and began picking feathers off of him while Ginny gurgled and slobbered on her neck.
"Mum?"
"Yes Billy?" she asked with as much patience as she could muster.
"I'm done. Can I go play?"
"Please. And take Freddie and George outside with you. But keep an eye on them, I don't need them wandering away right now," she warned.
"I'm done too, Mum," Charlie announced, wiggling his paper in her face.
"Oh Charlie," she groaned. "Our house is not going to tip over. It's very sturdy."
"That's not what Mr. Lovegood said," he argued.
"Well he's wrong," she snapped. "Fine. Just go play. And leave the gnomes alone!" she called after him, still de-feathering Ron.
"Percy, are you done yet?"
No answer.
"Percy?" She looked over her shoulder and saw him sleeping, cheek resting on the wet ink of his parchment. "Oh, Percy."
Ginny pulled at her shirt, trying to get at her milk and Ron had wandered off, still half covered.
Sighing, Molly grabbed her wand and levitated Percy to the sofa. Snatching Ron up, she carried both him and Ginny to the restroom. She had just gotten all of the feathers off of him and into the tub when Charlie stomped in, covered with mud.
"What happened to you?" she questioned, positioning Ginny at her breast.
"Fred," he growled.
"What'd they do this time?"
"We were playing tag. Billy was it. So I hid in the garden under the bush with pink flowers. Billy hates pink, so he never looks there. And I really wanted to win; Billy always wins. Last time-"
"Charlie please," she interrupted him. "What happened in the garden?"
"Oh! I was hiding under the bush with pink flowers, but then the gnomes attacked me!"
"They attacked you? Why would the gnomes attack you? Why are you always getting into trouble with those blasted gnomes?"
"I didn't do anything! It was Fred and George; they told the gnomes to do it."
"And you think the gnomes just do whatever anybody tells them?" She burped Ginny and moved her to the other side.
"Not anyone, just the twins!"
"Charlie," Molly sighed, "I don't have time for silly stories. Sit down, you can get in when Ron's done." She flicked her wand and Ron's hair erupted in foam.
"But, Mum-"
"Sit." Another flick and all of the soap vanished. "Let's get out, Ronny." She lifted him from the tub and dried him as best she could with only one hand.
"No Wonny, I owl," Ron argued, trying to squirm away from her.
"Fine. Fly to your- Ow! Ginny, no biting," she scolded, pulling the baby from her breast. "Fly to your room little owl!" she hollered as her youngest son streaked down the hall. "Charlie, bath. And we'll discuss your treatment of the gnomes once your father gets home."
"Phew." Charlie sagged against the wall, knowing he wouldn't get punished by his dad.
She lay Ginny in her basinet and chased Ron into his room. Going to the open window, she yelled for Bill to bring his brothers inside.
"Yes, Mum," Bill answered from a few feet away.
"Oh my heavens! What are you… Get down from there! Land that broom this instant, young man! You're supposed to be keeping an eye on the twins."
"I am," Bill defended. "See, they're right over there, surrounded by all the gnomes."
"But… What are they doing?" She squinted.
"Giving them treats."
"Why would they want to give them sweets?"
"Because they won the invasion."
"What invasion?"
"They invaded Charlie's bush."
"Are you-" Molly threw up her arms. "They really did attack Charlie?"
"Course they did."
"And you saw it, did you?"
"Oh yeah. It was great! See, we were playing hide-"
"You let them attack your little brother?"
"Er…well…"
"Land now!" she ordered, pointing to the shed where they stored their brooms. "All of you get inside!"
All three boys hurried to obey, running as fast as they could. Molly burst into the kitchen where they all hung their heads, afraid of how much trouble they were going to be in.
"You ought to be ashamed of yourselves."
She glared at each of them in turn. "Just wait until your father hears of this."
"You're going to tell Dad?" Bill asked softly.
"Yes, I am. I am tired of your nonsense. You can explain to your father why you thought it was okay to allow your brother injury."
"Awe, he's not hurt," Fred began.
"Just dirty," George finished.
She turned her narrowed eye son the four year olds and they immediately shut their mouths and looked down.
"Like I said, explain it to your father." She crossed her arms victoriously when the boys' shoulders dropped in defeat; not knowing that they were really relieved.
"Now, to your rooms until supper's ready."
The boys filed out and Molly dropped into a chair, wiggling her sore feet. She only allowed herself two minutes relaxation before getting up and cleaning the school supplies up and starting the food. Rolling out the pie crust, she heard Ron crying.
With a sigh, she wiped her hands clean and climbed the stairs, her knees ached.
"What's the matter Ronny?" she called as she opened his door. "Oh! That's so- Ugh! Boys! In here, now!"
She marched over and swept up the dozen spiders from her youngest son's bed.
"Hush, Ronny. They can't hurt you." She opened his window and set them outside. "Why does it always have to be spiders?" Molly groaned, foreseeing a phobia developing.
"Mollywobbles? I'm home!" Arthur called from downstairs.
"Dad!" Bill, Charlie, Fred, and George shouted, racing down to him.
"Arthur, at last," Molly gushed, carrying Ron to the fireplace. "You won't believe what a day I've had."
"Hello love," Arthur greeted, kissing her cheek and ruffling Ron's hair. "Is dinner ready? I'm starved."
A/N: Thanks for reading, don't forget to review!
This was written for the TE Oct ~Title Swap~ challenge, title provided by Cloudcity'sbookworm.
Enormous thanks to CloverBay for beta reading and helping me make a good decision.