It was the tail end of a long and sticky day for the Sanzo ikkou, and they were thoroughly sick of camping out. Goku had eaten the last of the supplies the night before, and had been complaining from the back seat every hour or so that he was going to die of starvation. Hakkai's false smile had become more and more pronounced as the day had progressed.
The rocky terrain was no longer even a rough approximation of smooth, so they had been forced to proceed at a snail's pace through bumpy, cracked stretches of ground, flanked on either side by the imposing walls of the ravine. The remains of recent avalanches had meant that, twice, they'd had to clamber reluctantly out of the jeep and scrabble over mounds of sharp, dusty, unstable rocks. Sanzo had slipped once, and now sported a rather large purple bruise on his right shin, which didn't improve his temper at all.
Even Gojyo, the indefatigable red-haired water sprite looked wilted. His normally perky bangs hung limp on either side of his face and clung to his face and neck. The rest of his hair was tied firmly back in a ponytail, and his tank top was plastered to his chest in damp splotches.
Unfortunately, their day was not getting any better. Directly in front of them, a looming forest brooded darkly. Gojyo picked his teeth with a toothpick he'd stuck in his jeans pocket, a dim reminder of their last trip to a restaurant. After one long stare at the forest ahead of him, he let his head fall with a dull thunk against the back of the jeep and sighed.
Goku eyed the toothpick narrowly, trying to determine whether it might not indicate that Gojyo had food squirreled away somewhere.
Hakkai rubbed the back of his head sheepishly and smiled his fake smile, eyes closed. "Sumimasen, Sanzo, shall we make camp then?"
Sanzo's arms were crossed tightly over his chest, concealing his scraped and bruised knuckles. "Absolutely not. We've wasted enough time as it is. I refuse to spend another night with my legs smashed up against the dashboard. And I've had just about enough of the stench of fermenting kappa behind me."
"Oi!" Gojyo called out warningly, his head lifting off the back of the jeep and one hand scratching an itching armpit. "At least I don't snore like the monkey or shoot at people when they leave to pee in the middle of the night."
"I'm huuuungry," Goku whined, then he glared at Gojyo. "And I'm not a monkey, perverted water sprite."
Hakkai, sensing the current downward spiral the conversation was taking, intervened. "The trees are too dense for Hakuryu, I'm afraid. We'll have to walk."
Sanzo nodded his head slightly, accepting the inevitable. "What does the map say?"
The map rustled as Hakkai drew it out of the black, and therefore scorching hot, glove compartment. Gojyo and Goku's argument had degenerated, once again, into a physical struggle. "Ahhh, it appears that this forest is not on the map, Sanzo-sama," Hakkai explained apologetically. He gestured as if to hand the map to Sanzo, but the priest turned around to thump a thrashing Goku, whose dusty shoe had connected with the back of Sanzo's head, over the head with his harisen instead.
"Baka saru!" Sanzo hissed, on his feet and chest heaving in irritation.
Gojyo, sprawled awkwardly in the back seat with his legs braced against the front seats for leverage, smirked triumphantly at the instantly contrite Goku. Seconds later, the harisen landed across Gojyo's nose.
"At-cha-cha!" Gojyo mourned as his hands curled protectively over his reddening nose. "What the hell!?! That hurt, you impotent priest!" He scowled fiercely at the towering figure in (slightly smudged) white, who was glaring right back at him. "What's with treating me like the saru, anyway? Don't I at least rate the pea shooter?"
Before Sanzo could decide whether Goku and Hakkai would really mind leaving the useless kappa's corpse out in the sun to dry up, a loud crack rang out, clear as a bell, from the confines of the dense forest in front of them. Startled, Sanzo stiffened, and, slightly unbalanced from leaning toward the back of the jeep to tower over the annoying kappa, Sanzo fell forward, once again banging his shin as he fell on top of the two idiots in the back seat. "Well, that's torn the last of my shredded dignity," he thought irritably as his face mashed up against a well-muscled, stiff, and sweaty shoulder. The smell was overpowering.
Gojyo froze for a second too, caught between the shock of what sounded very much like a gunshot and discovering that he now had an irate priest draped across him. As his mind tried desperately to make sense of the situation, his body couldn't help tingling a bit at the feeling of a firm, warm weight resting against his body. The proximity of all that silken blond hair right under his nose didn't help either. He had an irrational urge to sniff it. It would probably just smell like sweat and dust, though. Damn. It had definitely been too long since Gojyo had last had a woman.
Silence reigned for a heartbeat, then two, as Sanzo's heart raced and his ears strained for some form of explanation. Three more shots rang out in quick succession. "Tha-that wasn't you, was it, Sanzo?" Goku asked, stunned, voice muffled by the priest robes draped over his face. When Sanzo, still lost in thought as he tried to gage the location from which the shots had originated, didn't immediately respond, Goku asked again, "Sanzo?"
"Oi! Sanzo, get it together." Gojyo shoved at the blond's shoulder and squirmed a bit. "Not that I'm not flattered and all, but ..." That definitely got Sanzo's attention. The priest rolled awkwardly out of the back seat, elbow casually crashing into Gojyo's gut, and landed on the ground behind the jeep, his face a bit flushed but his eyes narrowed and focused. Gojyo coughed and wrapped his arms around his throbbing stomach. Damn. The pissy priest really was in a rotten mood today.
"Of course that wasn't me, baka. My 'peashooter' is fully loaded." Sanzo's tone was brisk, his hand sliding his Smith & Wesson out of the inner recesses of his robe and checking to make sure it was actually present and fully loaded. His eyes flicked toward the wincing redhead in the back seat.
"Then who the hell was that?" Gojyo gasped, eyes watering, as he slid out of the jeep, well away from the fully armed and dangerous blond.
"Yeah, and what're they doin' with a gun, anyway!?" Goku demanded, incensed that anyone would dare encroach on Sanzo-sama's rightful territory.
Hakkai climbed out of the jeep and tapped its hood gently. Hakuryu transformed into his dragon form and kyuued plaintively before settling on his master's shoulder. "Why don't we go ask them?" Hakkai's brow was furrowed, and he was staring at the trees ahead.