The vibration in your pocket coincides with the tone of an incoming email from the account that almost always means Good News.
So you open your phone, and the notification says:
A Very Special EMERGENCY LIVE Webcast of Fondue for Two!
So you click the link.
It's been maybe 14 months since Fondue for Two webcasted. That's the first thing you notice. The second thing is that they've been crying. Like, Brittany's eyes are rimmed in red, but Santana's drip with mascara.
You've never seen Brittany this focused. You've never seen Santana this distraught. But there they are, pinkies entwined, on the crappy couch of their tiny crappy apartment.
Brittany is saying, "People in power have demonstrated time after time ad infinitum, and I'm a math genius so I know what infinitum means, that if you repeat a lie, repeat it a lot, it starts to sound like the truth."
Santana nods once, her head up, back straight, black streaks dripping out from her eyes.
"BUT," says Brittany, "IT. IS. STILL. A LIE.
"If you are a queer person, you need to know this: It can be a hard road, but it doesn't necessarily end badly. People in power operate from a position of privilege, and they should know. They should understand that we are not a plot device. You are not a plot device.
"You all know how much crap my wife Santana and I went through before we got married. We'll probably go through more. But we are in it together, to quote the classic film and musical Grease."
"That's right, babe," Santana croaks out.
"And we've been together since we were teenagers–"
"Off and on," says Santana.
"Mostly on," says Brittany. "Anyway, having awesome lady sex won't kill you. And we've had a lot. Like a lot a lot. And we know lady couples who have been together longer than we've been alive. It's real and it's possible. And if you haven't found your soulmate–"
"If you're not currently partnered–" interrupts Santana.
"If you're not currently partnered, it doesn't make you any less than anyone else. If you're a queer person, you're okay. You're valid. You're perfect. You deserve more that just survival. We all do. We can all live our lives, repeating the truth, repeating it so often and so loud that the powers that be begin to recognize that it is the truth.
"Tell the truth."
"I love you, Brittany."
"I love you, Santana. And you out there, we love you, too. That's it for Fondue for Two: A Very Special Emergency Live Webcast edition. Take the best care of yourselves."