, Bossu kun Here! Hope you think my story is ultra sugoi, soshite, SUGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOI
Also I do not own Toradora, but I do own this little mega kawaii Taiga sock puppet I made. Its oodles of awesome! :D (noyoucanthaveitsostopasking) Well anyway, here it is: Ryuuji's Jester Day's.
Setting: Medieval neo Tokyo (or wherever the heck toradora takes place, iono!) Know how they rebuilt Tokyo like a bagillion times in Eva? Well this time they decided to rebuild Tokyo in the likeness of Medieval England or whatever you want to imagine, im just here to entertain. Annnnd TAKE IT AWAY JESTER RYUUJI!
*ryuuji speaks*
I have this girl, well i don't have her, i never have, but im still not giving up. She's the most funniest, cutest, unique, elegant (even when she tries not to be) my inspiration and most beautiful girl in the world to me. She's my jewel, and i her guardian. She's the right to my left. And i'll do just about anything to make sure she is happy, even if that means her being happy with someone else. But i think i know why i love her so. I mean i've never felt so special for a girl in my life. Of course i discredited it before because i've only just met her, but as fate twisted and turned its crimson strings over me, we became better acquainted, which justified my feelings for her and allowed me to accept them more, but even then i was convinced it was just infatuation. I infatuated on lots of girls, but that usually passes over fortknight, well its been almost a year and that feeling of ambiguous 'like' is becoming a concentrated beam of what we non fictional humans call love. Ah love, what a tragically illogical beauty it is. You see love makes people crazy, and when someone is already crazy, love makes those people felons. Luckily i don't fall under the latter, but im no doctor.
Well this relationship with this angel of a girl that i've always wished for is coming to a point where i just gave up on hiding anything i feel and take more risks. And what i mean by risks is not physical, but more emotional risks, setting my heart out on the cutting board and hoping its overlooked by the butcher that is heart break. And each time i feel ready to beat myself up about it, but i never count myself out. Counting yourself out is the worst thing a man can do in the trial of love, unless there's a restraining order or the woman is seriously disturbed by your so called affection, don't give up. No matter what!
Speaking of affection, it brings me back to this girl that i love, that i would like to have my last name one day. Its all about bringing her happiness, as i've said even if its not with me. (NOT!) Her happiness means a lot to me, but my blindness may take my world from me. Now, my theory on why i love this girl so damned much. I was in the same situation centuries ago and history has repeated itself once again. But did i win this fair maidens heart? I do not know, maybe im here for a second chance at love, maybe im here to do it right this time. But whatever the case i will do my best for her, and for myself.
She was a princess. Well, she's my princess right now, but she was of noble blood centuries ago. But no, i was no prince, not one line of royal blood flowed through my veins. I was a lowly jester. A jester too boring for the king and queen. I was assigned to the princess as her personal entertainer. I jumped through actual hoops for her and did anything and everything i could just to see her smile. And that laugh, that laugh stagnates time filling me with the thought of defiant hope that i may one day laugh with her atop a horse's carriage. But then she shooed me off and would laugh along side yet another prince that didn't care for her half as much as i. Her being a beautiful Princess and me a dirty jester who couldn't do well enough for the king and queen, it was foolish to think that i could ever be with my desire. But my heart dictated that she must be kept happy, no matter what.
But, oh how this word can change so much with an interjection in all the right places. One day the princess came home, nothing in her face. She was sad. My chest dropped with fear.
"ohh, my princess is in pain"
I would murmur to myself in my head. I shuffled over, wearing the biggest smile possible in hopes of warding away her frown. "Good day" i said "How is the princess at this hour" i made faces and hopped around like a lunatic, all for her. She said nothing. Normally she would be a bit peeved that i approached her without permission and send me back to my chamber. But something just told her to keep walking. Up the stairs and to her door she stood and let out a small whimper before running in and closing the door quickly behind her. I took about three steps to see what the matter is. But something discouraged me from boldly going where i have not dared to go before.
Her tears brought tears to me. I didn't know what to do to make her smile. That sadness turned into pity and that pity into rage. I rampaged, smashing and throwing things in frustration. A candle fell. The fire ironically put out my fire. Frantically, the fire was put to rest. And i went to bed.
Well at least i tried, tossing and turning. The princess on my mind and nothing else mattered. Then i felt that rage build back up. I was seething with it, my legs struck the ground and i stood up, but there was really nothing i could do, or so i thought. That rage turned into passion. The kind of passion where you would go without eating and drinking until your deed is done and you are satisfied. A writer's desk sat in the back of the room. Ink and paper handy.
The next day the princess was still yet to be seen. (switchin pov! SUGOOOOOI)
He toiled in my quarters. Wishing she would come out, he hasn't spoken to her in so long. It saddened him to know that she probably doesn't feel the same about him at the moment, but his heart was her's, no matter what. In all of his time caring for the princess, there is hate in this love he has realized. It wasn't hate enough to hurt the princess, but it felt like the kind of hate where you fail at a task and attempt to repeat the task until you get it out of frustration. It wasn't "Kind of" it WAS that kind of hate. It hid deep inside of the pit of his stomach. Frittering away time he did nothing but ramble in angst and forlorn, both against the princess. He despised that he loved her at times with such fury, but like always, those three words whisper in his head. (Im not holding your hand, you know what those words are L)
He was finally done with his story. But how to get it to her. There was a hubbub around the castle, he didn't know what was up, maybe a knighting or some dire emergency, he didn't know, he didn't give a damn. He snuck his way up to the foyer, he could see the princess's door, but he wasn't allowed to approach it without permission. He liked his neck where it was attached. But just then, a miracle happened.
"Grahh!"
a knight regurgitated in his helmet nearby.
'Kerplunk' the helmet full of vomit then rolled over near by the jester. The jester saw two things, he saw a knight that doesn't quite chew his food all that well, and an opportunity.
Acting on impulse he snatched up the helmet and rammed it on his head, knowing that if he stopped to think about it he wouldn't have gotten this far. He dashed around a corner so not to let the victim of his steal see him. He must be too sick to care because he just kept walking doubled over without even attempting to look for his fallen item. Off to the princess's it is then. The more ground he covered the more he started to think that this was a stupid idea. The more ground he covered the more the vomit covered him. It was a jester in a helmet. Not much to see there, but to a royal guard, it was trouble.
"Hey, you! With the oats falling from your head"
he stopped. Though it wasn't oatmeal, he couldn't possibly be talking about anyone else. The jester turned at attention and saluted the guard. Thinking quickly, he gave this ruse a character.
"Yes sir! oats it is Sir!" he saluted
the guard walked close up on the jester. Looking him up and down. Questioning his appearance in his head. Jester stood still, indulging the man shorter than him.
"It keeps the face tough, and clear of blemish sir!" he jested (soshite SUGOOOOOOOOI)
"I've heard of no such thing" he accusingly speared the jester in disguise with his eyes
"uh, its new! All the way from the nile! Keeps you looking young, and protects against unnecessary scarring, sir!"
the guard was still a bit skeptical. He waved him to move on. The jester turned tail and walked off quicker than he was walking before, but before he could take 4 quick steps
"Hold on! Stay right there!"
he stopped in his tracks. The guard stepped firmly towards him, looked him in the eye one good time. And scooped what he thinks is oatmeal from the neck of his helmet, smearing the still warm substance on his face, and sucking off the remains from his digits.
"Carry on"
he said looking satisfied.
The jester walked with a bit less confidence so not to jinx himself. Rounded the corner of fate and yes, he was in the clear. Not an obstacle is sight. He smiled in pre-triumph, and then quickly closed his mouth remembering the contents of his helmet. Out of his pants, if only he had pockets, he pulled out what he called a "fairy tale" and stopped at the princess' door. Her locked, strong wooden door. -.-
But this may be for the best. Would the princess really let in a armor-less guard with nothing but what others called oats dripping from his helmet? And at this time of despair, most likely not. He doubled over, looked for any potential threats, and slid the papers under the door.
'Objective achieved.'
he thought to himself. But irony had it in for him.
"Objective achieved" said the helmet-less guard after banging his fist into the back of the lowly funny man's skull.
TIME SKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP!
Nothing in his head told him the reason he had come back. Why he traveled so far that his feet soared over with blemish and bruises. Had it been out of desperation? He didn't want to come back, ever. He knew that only hurt waited for him with a smile in that castle. His feet led him there to the outside of royal ground he once fled from, the dark clouds dispersing lightning from their light arms. Any sense he had before had to have been long gone, his back to a tree rooted in the outer most banks of the forest, he thought about her words, her kind appreciative words and wondered why his heart was a juggernaut for the princess. Why couldn't he have been a slave to someone who was a slave to him? (Minori :3) 'Why can't you just stay with me?' he had not been able to answer that question before, but to someone that was not there, he spoke.
"I promised someone. I promised them and i left them. I won't promise you and break another one of my promises, what sense would that make? But i will do this one thing, i will pick up the broken pieces of my promise like a shattered vase and reassemble it bit by bit, until i have reestablished it to its former glory, until i have the smile that i dreamt of every suspenseful night, until she feels nothing but love and loyalty to me and me only, until i have her love. Or something like it. No matter what"
The rumbling thunder punctuated his last utterance and told him it was time to lay eyes upon her once again.
(jester finally comes back from his "escape" from the castle and learns of himself and she herself realizes that the jester was more important to her than she thought and was not just a play thing.)
"You're weak. You ache for attention where ever you can get it. The charms of one isn't enough for you, you're a selfish waste of time. Even when someone had your heart you still looked for attention elsewhere, your insecurities leading you down a path of immeasurable perverseness. I was there for you when you were down, and you did nothing but bring me down with you. Then when you got heart broken, what did you do? From then on you made it so you were no longer vulnerable, no, you won't be taking that risk again anytime soon. You'd rather lock away your heart for no one to see rather than find someone who can care for it for an eternity. You're weak" he belted sternly.
she tears up and weakly beats on his chest, his face still tight with frustration. He holds her and looks down his nose to her, and then kisses her forehead, taking her cry to a silence now.
"I'm weak" he exhaled and still held her close, but tighter for his own comfort as well.
After the moment passed, she stopped sobbing felt his presence of security, it calmed her, its like she was looking for it all this time, but never opened her eyes to see it smack dab in her face. She took him by the hand after they gave up the embrace and walked him upstairs to her room. They stood before the door, his first time getting to stand this close without having to wear a helmet full of vomit. She pushed the door open and led him to her bed, where she sat and beckoned with eyes that sought for someone to hold her tight through this stormy night, and he obliged.
"I'll always be here to hold you" Jester promised getting into bed after taking off his soaking wet shirt and pants.
"No matter what?" she heartfully replied in a near whisper, ridding herself of her attire that was the opposite of dry.
he smiled a smile that the darkness hid from the princess and squeezed her close until his lip was outside the ridge of her ear.
"No matter what"
THE END!