Okay, folks. You've only felt the tip of the iceberg of my insanity. Here's where I go bonkers!
SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS IS NOT A POKEMON!
(This has no connection to "Love is Undying")
(On the road to Viridian City. Brock has replaced Tracy.)
Misty: So, what pokemon did you catch back there, Mr. Pokemon Master?
Ash: A really weird one! Even weirder than you, Misty.
Misty: (Starts to grow really big, flames in eyes, steam shooting out of ears.)
WHAT DID YOU SAY?!
Ash: (calmly) You're sexy when you're angry, Mist.
Misty: OF ALL THE ROTTEN... huh? (blushes)
Ash: I said you look sexy when you're angry, Misty.
Misty: (giggles) You naughty little (censored for sensitive viewers). When we get hitched, I'm gonna.. (whispers into Ash's ears.)
Ash: Whoa. Well, in that case, I'll give you a.. (whispers into Misty's ears.)
Misty: (Smiling and blushing, starts nuzzling Ash's neck.) Purrr...
Brock: (To Pikachu) Geez. First they're mortal enemies, then they're Romeo and Juliet meets American Pie. Go figure.
Pikachu: Wonder what their kids would be like?
(Brock and Pikachu look at each other, then at Ash and Misty, who are still kissing, then shudder.)
Brock: THAT was VERY disturbing...
(Ash is walking along, when he runs into... guess whooo?)
Ash: Hey! Watch it, ya freak!
Girl: Exxxcuuussee me? You're the guy who should be watching it, bucko!
Boy: This guy bothering you, Sere?
Other Girls: Hey, wait up, guys!!
(The group turns out to be no other than the cast of... SAILOR MOON!)
Brock: Whoaa... Aduuhhh. (Starts drooling.)
Ash: Who are you guys.. I mean, girls... I mean, guy and girls! Sheesh...
Serena: I'm Serena.
Mina: I'm Mina
Lita: The name's Lita
Rei: I'm Rei
Ami: Ami.
Darien: I'm your future murderer.
Ash: Eep!
Pikachu: (Steps forward) Touch Ash and you're dead meat, pal!
Lita: Awww, what a cute wittle fella! (Scoops Up Pikachu)
Lita: Isn't you the cutest..
Ash: No, wait..!
Lita: Wittle...
Ash and Misty: NO! STOP!
Lita: Peeky Cheeky Woo-woo? (gives Pikachu Eskimo kiss.)
Pikachu: (Really P'O'ed.) PIIIIIIIIIKKKKKAAAAAAACCCHHHHHHHHHHHHUUUUUUU!!!!!!! (Unleashes HUGE Thunderbolt attack, knocking everyone senseless)
Ash: He..coff.. hates.. hack.. being called that name.. ugghh..
Lita: So I noticed.. Ack..
(They brush off and decide to not call Pikachu any more names, lest another shock therapy session occur.)
Rei: (Looks at Togepi) Aww, what a cute wittle eggy-weggy!
(Sticks finger near Togepi to tickle it, but Togepi bites it.)
Rei: OWWWW!!!! WHY YOU LITTLE...
Misty: (laughs) Good one, Togepi!
Ash: (Grins evilly) Here's one you might like! (Tosses Pokeball, out pops.. CHARIZARD!)
Rei: What a cool dragon! (Starts nuzzling Charizard)
Charizard: (Growls in friendly manner) THIS girl I like!
Brock: (Hearts in eyes.) Uh.. duh.. I'm Brock.. Doyouwannagooutwithme?
Serena: (Points at Darien) Sorry, I'm taken.
Lita & Rei: Us, too.
Ami: Me three.
All: WHAT?!
Ami: Geez. Did you guys REALLY think me and Greg were JUST friends?
Misty: Spare us the details..
Rei: Puuh-leeze..
Mina: (Smiles seductivly) Brock, is it? That's soooo manly. (Kisses Brock.)
Brock: WOOHOOWOOHOOWOOHOO!!!!!!!!!! (Starts bouncing around like a lovesick idiot.)
Mina: Maybe we should get together sometime?..
Brock: Author, if you will?
(Ring appears in Brock's hands.)
Brock: Will you marry me?
Mina: (Blushes) Sure!
Brock: Bye! We're off to a deserted Island in the South-Pacific! (Picks up Mina and runs off.)
Ami: Always knew she was a seductive, self-centered, slu..
Misty: (Clamps hand over Ami's mouth.)Don't say it! Togepi is very impressionable!
(A weird guy with an extremely large nose walks up to Ash.)
A.W.G.W.A.E.L.N: I am Mr. Wacked, and I challenge you, Mash Fetchum to a Hokeycon battle!
Ash: Okay, it's ASH KETCHUM, and it's called Pokemon, smart one! Do I have I choice?
Mr. Wacked: Either this, or I do a Spice Girls impression!
Ash: AAHHH!!! I'LL BATTLE!
Mr. Wacked: Whatever. Go SpongeBob Squarepants!
S.B.S.P: Sponge, SpongeBob!
Ash: Whut the heck..
Misty: What the..
S.B.S.P: (Sees Charizard sleeping, and walks to it; starts shaking it by the neck.) (Yells into Charizard's ear via Megaphone) HEY LAZYBUTT! TIME TO RISE AND SHINE!
Charizard: WHAT THEE HEEECKKKKK???
S.B.S.P: Time to brush your teeth! (Yanks back Charizard's lips and uses a HUGE brush.)
Charizard: (Yanks S.B.S.P off and Fire Blasts him) Who the hell do you think you are, psycho!?
Mr. Wacked: Return! GO PSYDUCK!
Psyduck: Psy yi yi yi yi yi! (Holds a tuna in one hand.)
Misty: That thing looks dumber than my Psyduck!
S.B.S.P: Now witness the power of the Starving Crazed Weasels! Psyduck, Stale Fish Slap!
Psyduck: (Slaps Charizard repeatedly with tuna.)
Charizard: Fried Fish tonight! (Fire Spins Psyduck.)
M.W.: Return! Go, Yenrab!
Rei: Oh dear god, NO!
Ash: ANYTHING BUT THAT!
Barney: Ah-yuk Ah-yuk! I'm Barney, your new special friend!
Charizard: AHHHH!!! IT'S THE UNHOLY MAGNETA MENACE! (Jumps into Ash's arms.) KILL IT, KILL IT, KILL IT!
Barney: I luv you, you love me..
Charizard: (Holding head in claws, with confusion swirls in eyes) AHH! THE STUPIDITY IS WARPING MY BRAIN!
Ash: Return! Aw crap, I didn't think I'd have to use this Pokemon..
Misty: What Pokemon?
Ash: I just KNOW I'm gonna regret this.. GO, DOPETRIO!
(Dopetrio looks like a Dodrio on Jolt cola. )
Barney: No.. not that! ANYTHING BUT THAT!!
(Dopetrio's heads fall off to reveal.. THE ANIMANIACS!)
Yakko: Hello, Baloney!
Dot: Do you remember the very special song we taught you?
Barney: NO!!!! NOT THAT!!
Yakko: An anvil's black and shiny..
Barney: No, STOP!
Dot: It's really heavy too..
Barney: (Sweating and flailing his paws) NOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Wakko: So watch out, my tubby friend..
Barney: I'M NOT YOUR FRIEND! AAAAAHHHHHHH!!! (Starts running away.)
Wakko, Yakko, and Dot: OR ONE WILL FALL ON YOU!!
(WHAMO!)
Barney: (From beneath the anvil.) Medic..
(Barney crawls out and stands up, stars and planets are orbiting his head.)
Barney: Wok at all the pweety colors.. Oyyy..
Yakko: It's made of solid Iron..
Barney: No..
Dot: It weighs a ton or two..
Barney: Wait..
Wakko: We know you want to meet it..
Barney: BUT I DON'T WANT TO MEET IT!! WAAAAAHHHHHH!!!
Yakko, Wakko, and Dot: IT WANTS TO MEET YOU, TOO!!
(BOING!!!)
(Barney is dead.)
Rei: Woo-hoo!
Ami: (Starts singing) Joy to the world, the b#$@%&%'s dead! We dropped anvil's on his head!
Ash: Now the bad part comes.. (Sweatdrops.) Here, Misty, put this on. (Hands here a paper bag with eyeholes in it.)
Misty: Just what are you insultating? (Gets angry.)
Ash: That you don't want to french kiss the three stooges over there. (Points to the Warner Bros.)
Misty: GAHH! (Puts on bag. Ash puts one on as well.)
Wakko and Yakko: (Start staring at Serena and Co.) HELLLLLOOOOO, NURSES!!
Dot: (Stares at Darien) Hello, Hunky! (hearts in eyes)
Serena and Co: AAAAIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
Darien: NNNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
(Serena and Co., including Darien, start running like crazy)
Yakko, Wakko, and Dot: (Running after them) Wait! We have 9 tickets to Pokemon: The first Movie!
Serena and Co: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!! (Run faster)
Wakko: They can run, but they can't hide! (Pulls out Rocket. Warner Co. climbs on it, and it shoots off after Serena and Co.)
Ash: Well, since they're all busy, and this really psychotic fic is almost over, let's you and me make out.
Misty: Okay! (Grabs Ash into WET French Kiss.)
Pikachu: They need help. Professional help.
Charizard: (Holding Video Camera) We can afford it soon! I'm making $1,000,000 off making videos of their 'moments!'
Togepi: (Under breath) Pervert.
(Ash and Misty are still kissing)
Pikachu: I'm surprised they can hold their breath that long!
Charizard: I'M surprised Cyber Blastoise is dragging this fic out so F$%#@&@ long!!
Cyber Blastoise: Whoops.
THE END
Okay, that's it.
I'm serious, you're wasting your time!
WHAT PART OF "THE END" DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND!? THAT WAS IT!!! THE END!! T-H-E E-N-D! FIN!! GO AWAY!! SHHOOO! SCRAM, STUPID!!
Oh, yeah.. the epilogue..
Ash and Misty are boyfriend and girlfriend. Brock and Mina had an erotic honeymoon. Charizard, Pikachu, and the rest of Ash and Misty's Pokemon now enjoy only premium Pokechow due to Charizard's movie business. Serena, Rei, Ami, Lita, and Darien had to get psychiatric therapy. (They needed it, anyway.)
Sailor Moon: HEY!!
Cyber Blastoise: Uht-Oh..
Sailor Moon: MOON TIRIA MAGIC!
Cyber Blastoise: OW! Stay tuned for more (owch!) Pokemon (ow!) fanfiction! OW! Stop it! ENOUGH ALL READY!!
THE (real) END
