She watched him sleep. Four months aboard Astraeus, lost in space, had left him paler, made his dark lashes stark against his skin.
And he desperately needed a haircut. She found herself wondering if no one had packed scissors. They'd planned on a six month journey – surely someone had the forethought to bring along a comb and a pair of clippers? But maybe he'd just never taken advantage. Either way, his hair was as long as she'd ever seen it, falling into his face and across his cheekbones.
He'd shaved, though. Just this morning, if she had to guess. She wondered if he'd known, if he'd woken up and thought, 'this is the day, today we make it back,' if he'd shaved on purpose, thinking she might be waiting.
She might not have been.
It had taken Carter two months to find her. Two months in which she'd explored America, talked to strangers in diners, browsed art galleries, watched dance recitals, and struggled to find meaning in her life.
Two months where she'd searched for herself, and found only a gaping hole where Zane ought to be.
Carter had sworn on pain of eternal torment never to tell anyone that she'd fainted when she'd heard Astreaus was lost. Fainted. God, she was still embarrassed. But she'd only barely realized by then that she was never going to find what she was looking for outside of Eureka. Never.
What she wanted was community. Love. Respect. Everything she'd had and not realized the value of.
But there'd been a missing piece.
Honesty.
She still didn't know if she could find it here.
This Zane . . . the heat was there, every bit of it. But the trust wasn't.
He'd been an ass. Really, that was just the truth of it. When they'd gotten here from 1947 and he'd smart mouthed Carter, trash talked Tess, flirted with every passing pretty blonde – that wasn't her Zane. That wasn't anyone she knew, and it wasn't anyone she liked.
And getting to know him hadn't erased those days, hadn't erased the bitterness of interacting with a guy who looked like her lover and acted like a douche.
His eyelashes fluttered and she held her breath. On the other hand, there had been the days before Astreaus. The days when he'd tutored her in orbital mechanics, encouraged her to believe in herself, laughed with her as they studied.
The truth was, she didn't know who he was anymore. And for a while, she hadn't known who she was either. But the months she'd spent walkabout and even more, the months she'd spent back in Eureka, struggling with the rest of the town to find their missing friends, they'd taught her a lot. She knew now so much more about who she was, where she wanted to be.
His eyes opened. God, they were so blue within the borders of his lashes.
"This is real?" His voice was husky.
She nodded.
His eyes closed.
She waited.
His eyes opened again, and then he was lunging for her and she was, startled, letting him pull her down to the bed, falling across him, feeling him beneath her, feeling his hand behind her neck, his lips hot against her own, his other arm tight around her waist, her knees bumping into the bed, her protest dying, unspoken, in her mouth as she kissed him back, fiercely, the fire rising and flaring between them as if four months apart had never happened.
"Oh, God, Jo," he muttered, sliding his hand up her shirt.
"Infirmary," she gasped. Hell, there were witnesses. She was letting him grope her in front of at least three fascinated interns and any random passersby.
"I thought I'd never see you again." It was a whisper, right before he nipped her earlobe, and then caressed the soft spot at the corner of her jaw with his tongue, making her shiver with delight. Damn it, how did he do this to her?
But then his words sank in, and oh, she thought, blinded by a momentary insight. She knew what it had been like for her. What had it been like for him?
He answered her unspoken question, pulling away from her and cupping her face in his hands. "I promised myself I'd say this if we made it back. You are the most annoying woman I have ever met."
What the hell? she thought, indignant. Okay, that was honest, but really, did he have to say it the very day he got back? Couldn't they just have a day to enjoy each other before they were back to the doubt and uncertainty?
"And I love you," he continued. "You are uptight and self-righteous and crabby, and when I am with you, everything is right with the world, and when I'm not, everything is wrong."
Oh. Um. Okay. That was better. Sort of. She let him tug her to him, let him take her lips with his, forgot about the interns, and slid onto the bed so that she was lying next to him, their bodies pressed together.
"You're a criminal," she told him, between kisses.
"Pardoned. And not anymore."
"Huh," she scoffed, but she didn't stop kissing him. Maybe she didn't care anymore. Maybe it didn't matter. For so long, she'd been confused about who he was and what he would or could do.
But he'd been lost, and now he was found. And she'd spent months missing him. Maybe it was time to just appreciate that he was back.
"All right," he conceded. "A criminal only when you need me to be."
Oh. Jo couldn't help laughing at the thought. All right, she thought. That worked.
Truth was, they worked.
A/N: Yes, I changed my name – sorry if that was confusing! And yes, it has taken me this long - months! - to wrap my head around season 4.5 and find a place where I can believe in Jo and Zane getting back together. I hope this sounds plausible to you all, too! (As always, reviews are really nice. I'd love to hear what you think!)
Also, I've mostly been writing original(ish) fiction over at fictionpress. I've finished my first long story and am starting my second. If you'd like to give them a try, the links are in my profile.