A/N- This takes place between season 2 and 3, so summer break between junior and senior year. santana is still wih Karofsky, and Brittany and Artie are NOT together. Basically follows the same story line as the show, except more detail on Santana and Puck's friendship. And instead of Quinn moving in middle school like the Lucy Caboosie storyline, she has lived in Lima all her life. My first fanfic, so please review! Enjoy (:

Chapter One-

"San, can we talk?" Britt turned to me. I squeezed her hand before smiling and nodding. I knew what she was going to ask, but i had to reassure her that she could talk to me.

"How come this," she indicated our entangled hands, "has to be a secret? I know you're scared, but, why cant we just tell people?" I dropped her hand, starting to get angry with her. She just didnt understand why we couldnt tell people this.

"Because, Britts, you know what its like. You know what happened to Kurt. I love you, you know that! Why cant that be enough for you? I want you, just you, more than anything else in this world, but we just cant be together. We live in fucking Ohio, B." I never talked to Brittany like this, but i needed to get my point across to her. She just doesnt understand things sometimes.

"I know your scared, San, but look what happened to Kurt after he came out. Sure, he got bullied, alot, but your bullywhips stopped that! Until prom...but he's so much happier now that he's come out. He even has that cute boyfriend, Blaze, or something like that." Britt said patiently.

"Its Blaine, Britt. And Kurt's different. Kurt loves himself, he has a damn excepting parent, and even Finns mom to be there for him, not to mention how many friends he has in Glee Club. You're all I have Britt, and you already know my secret. So why do i have to tell everyone else, when it's only you that matters?" I sighed, sure she was going to make this harder than it had to be.

"Santana, listen to me. I mean it. Your parents love you, I know they're very religious, even more than Quinn's parents, but they do love you, and that wouldn't change if you came out. You have Glee club. You guys try and kill eachother almost every day, but I know they would be there for you. Just do this, San. For me." I almost said yes right then and there, just to take that frown off her face, but i knew that it wasn't that easy. I knew that she just wanted me to come out, but she couln't see the hate in people. She didnt know what would happen to me, to us, if i came out.

"Shit Brittany! What part of no do you not get? You say you love me, and that you would be with me if I would just tell people that a lesbian, but I can't! I know you dont understand that, but you have to except that. If you love me, we can just keep doing whatever were doing now." I yelled at her. I could tell she was fighting back tears, but I needed her to understand this.

"What do we have exactly, San? Secrets. That's all! We have a HUGE secret, that I cant tell because it's your secret too. You cant keep hiding! One of these days, I might find somebody who isn't ashamed of me, who wants me and all of me and wants the world to know it. And i dont know if i could say no, San. I know you say you love me, but if you did, wouldnt you do anything to keep me? I know you think of what it would feel like for everyone to know your lebanese, but did you ever think about how much this, whatever we have, is hurting me? When were alone, you tell me that you love me, but then at school i see you flirting with Sam or Finn, and making out with Puck in the hallways. Or even now, dating Karofsky? Do you know how much that hurts me? You wouldnt talk to me for dating Artie, but you seem to be able to do whatever you want with whoever you want! Do you know how that makes me feel, San? It hurts. And if I didnt love you so much, I wouldn't still be here."

I opened my mouth to respond, but I didnt have any words to say to her. I didnt know what I could say that could make it alright again. I've been hurting her? All these

months, and I've been hurting her? Tears flooded down my face as I looked at the floor, mumbling more to myself than to Britt.

"I'm, sorry- I'm so sorry. I - I didn't know." I managed to finally say to her.

"I know, San." And just like that, my world was okay again as Brittany wrapped her arms around me until i stopped crying. When i noticed Britt crying though,

I got nervous.

"San, I- I cant do this anymore. Just waiting for you to come out, so you can finally be happy and then maybe be with me, but I cant just sit here, I've tried everything, and you just won't. I think maybe its best for...both of us if we just- just stay away from eachother for a while. You know?"

I couldnt beleive what she was saying. My heart stopped beating completely. I looked at her, with pure shock.

"Wait, Britt. Don't say that. I'll...I'll dump Karofsky and I'll stay away from Finn and Sam and Puck and all those other guys. I promise." I begged her, not caring if that made me whipped.

"San, this just Isn't going to work while your still hiding in the closet! If you come out, fine, then we'll talk. But i just cant keep waiting much longer."

"What if..." I trailed off knowing nothing would work with her now.

"Santana, please listen to what im trying to tell you. It's going to be better if you just let people know who you really are. Even just a little bit at a time. But until then, just, leave me alone." She barely managed to finish with tears rolling down her face. I stood there, finally knowing what it felt like to be dumped, even though we weren't really together. I shuffled up to my room, crying to much to even change my clothes as i crawled into bed. I called Brittany over and over, but she never picked up. Either she forgot where the talk button was again, or she was serious about avoiding me. I texted her, just trying to make sure she got home okay. She never replied. I cried into my pillow, waking up the next day with an urge to call Britt. After three rings, I remembered our fight the night before, and broke into a new round of tears. After 5 days or barely getting up, only to eat, I made up my mind. I knew my life would change SO much if I came out. Not to mention ruining the reputation i spent years trying to perfect. But living without Brittany, even as just a friend, was so much more difficult. I drove to her house, forgetting to brush my hair or change the clothes I'd been wearing for 5 days. I probably looked hidious, but Britt had seen me look so much worse. I pulled up to her house, knowing it was only her home since it was Tuesday and both her parents worked on Tuesdays. I knocked on the door repeatedly, until a shocked looking blonde opened up the door, slightly puzzled. She tried to shut the door in my face, but I pushed it open, getting straight to the point, in case I ran out of time.

"I'm telling them, my mom and dad, tonight." I waited for her response. Her shock slowly grew into a grin, and then a frown.

"San, are you sure your just not saying this? You mean it?"

"Living without you is just too hard, B. I gotta to do this to have you? Fine, fuck them. I'll do it." She smiled, pulling me into a hug, but hesitated once again.

"San, I trust you. I do. Its just...this is a serious thing. How about you call me tonight, and tell me yes or no. If its a yes, you can come over tomorrow, and we'll talk. If not, well then...just tell me what happens, but dont come before then. Please. I was serious when i said we should stay away from eachother." I drove away from Brittany's house with just a little more hope than I had waking up this morning. That night, I was freshly showered, I made my moms favorite dinner, and had my entire coming out speach prepared, hoping that my parents would take this well. My mom walked through the door, looked at me, looked at the food, and then said,

"Santana, honey, what did you do with Noah this time?"

I looked at her, disguisted.

"Mom! Thats fucking gross. We're just friends, I swear! And this isnt because I did anything, I just wanted to thank you and dad for being such great parents."

"Language, Santana!" She called me out on it every single time.

She looked reluctant at first, but after a few seconds she seemed to beleive me and helped set the table before my dad got home. My dad walked in, and nearly coppied

my moms reaction.

"Santana, did Noah get you pregnant?" He asked quietly, with a tint of anger in his voice.

"No! Puck and I are just damn friends! And this is just my way of saying thank you to you and Mom." He took his seat next to my mom, after mumbling something about watching my

language, and we all began eating our food. After a few minutes, I took a deep breath and started my speech. For brittany, I said to myself. This is for Britt.

"Mom, Dad? You guys you love me right? For me? Not for how perfect I am, but for just who I am?" They nodded looking confused.

"Well, I wanted to tell you, I think, no, I know, I'm in love with someone." My mom smiled, but my dad looked cautious.

"This person, is, well, different than what you expected for me. But this person makes me happy, and we love eachother, so that should be enough to make you

guys happy too, right?"

"And who is this young man?" My dad asked.

"I'm, uhh, getting there, dad. So, this person isn't exactly what you would expect for me, but I'm different than the HBIC you think you know. I'm not the Santana Lopez you

think I am. Because the..." I took a breath, "...the straight girl you think is me, Isn't me. Mom, dad, -I'm gay."

A/N: PLEASE review! I'll upload the next chapter really soon, if you even want to hear more, but next chapter I promise some serious Pucktana frienship and maybe some Quinntana friendship... I havent decided yet on that. Well, Hope you enjoyed it. My first fanfic so hopefully its okay. I'll probably get chapter 2 up this weekend or the beginingof next week, for anybody who is actually reading this.