Nine Crimes
written by: ohwhatsherface

-

Leave me out with the waste
This is not what I do
It's the wrong kind of place
To be thinking of you
It's the wrong time
For somebody new
It's a small crime
And I've got no excuse

Is that alright?
Give my gun away when it's loaded
Is that alright?
If you don't shoot it how am I supposed to hold it
Is that alright?
Give my gun away when it's loaded
Is that alright
With you?

-

Lacus Clyne glared at her reflection, a very uncharacteristic action of her to do. Tears of frustration, anger and disgust welled up in her eyes as she fought off the memory of a gentle, brown haired boy who showed her empathy and kindness when others either spared her false concern or frank abhorrence. She ran a brush through her long, pink hair as she thought over the very few moments that they had together. Her lips tugged into a small smile as she remembered the way his lavender eyes twinkled when they laughed together or the way she could see the genuine happiness on his face when he grinned.

"He smiled a lot…" she whispered to herself.

She replayed the time when they were staring into space together, discussing various topics. Topics such as Naturals and Coordinators, the war, Athrun—

Her smile faded as she remembered what she had said.

'Athrun Zala is the man I am going to marry one day.'

At one point, Lacus believed that she loved Athrun. It was not a sort of love that happened and just appeared out of no where, bombarding a person with confusion, jealousy and giddiness all at the same time, but one that seemed manufactured and forced. Their fathers both suddenly informed them of an engagement to a person that they never met before and they had to live with it. Lacus tried to smile, remembering when they first met.

She had been waiting in front of her home with her father and a few soldiers from ZAFT to provide protection. Patrick Zala, and his wife, Lenore Zala had both gotten out of their limo first, escorted by their own set of soldiers and then came Athrun, clad in a professional looking suit with a large bouquet of red roses held in his arms. His cheeks were red as he stared meekly at the floor. He had given them to her and she accepted them kindly, smiling at him.

It had been a forced smile, one to ensure both their father's that she would go along with the arranged marriage. The bouquets of roses he had offered her at almost every single one of their meetings were signs to remind them that he too was going to concur with the betrothal. Eventually, things began to feel less required and grew natural.

Lacus sighed and put the brush down gently.

She looked into the mirror of her vanity, her blue eyes meeting with the ones seen in the glass.

"What have you become?" Lacus mumbled to the reflection.

Self loathing washed over her as she narrowed her cerulean orbs. As much as she hated it, she couldn't get the thought of that boy she had met on the Earth Alliance ship, the Archangel. It was wrong. She was with Athrun Zala. Her gaze wandered to the framed photograph beside her. She and Athrun were both smiling for the picture with a few of the Haros he had given her jumping in the background. Despite staring at an image of her with her fiancé, she couldn't help the way her thoughts drifted back to the gundam pilot who she met months ago. He was so kind to her. He saved her from floating aimlessly in the pod throughout space then watched out for her when others merely scorned her for what she was.

"Kira Yamato…"

-

Leave me out with the waste
This is not what I do
It's the wrong kind of place
To be cheating on you
It's the wrong time
She's pulling me through
It's a small crime
And I've got no excuse

Is that alright?
I give my gun away when it's loaded
Is that alright?
If you don't shoot it, how am I supposed to hold it
Is that alright?
I give my gun away when it's loaded
Is that alright
Is that alright with you?

-

Athrun Zala exhaled loudly as he dropped backwards onto the top of the submarine that was docked by Orb. Part of him scorned Rau Le Creuset for dubbing him as Commander Zala. He had a new responsibility as a leader; he was now the one in charge of getting rid of the Archangel, which also meant getting rid of Kira, his best friend. Athrun sighed. Not only was he afraid of Kira being on that ship when it had to go down, but for that girl he met when he was on the island.

"A princess, huh?" he said to no one in particular.

He was alone as he drowned in his thoughts. Like a hamster to its wheel, Athrun's mind went in circles as he thought over various things. For some unknown reason, every thought he had just so happened to go back to that girl. Unconsciously, the arm he had been resting on his left side touched his stomach, gently going over a scar that had formed.

A small chuckle passed through his lips as he remembered his first reaction to seeing her on that hill with a gun in her hands, aimed straight for him. He automatically believed that she was in fact a man and took no mercy on her as they fought for that short time. When he got her on the floor, under him and with a knife raised above her head ready to kill her, she screamed and he grew shocked. The shrill shriek belonged to no man, but a girl. He remembered the way that she was furious when he accidentally let out his awareness of her gender.

"Strange," Athrun described. "Brave, cute, and spirited… But strange…"

Guilt ate as him as he contemplated over the way all he could think about was the amber eyed girl. It confused him greatly; he had the one girl just about every boy his age and even maybe those younger or older most likely fantasized being with, as his future wife, so why couldn't he stop thinking about someone he barely knew.

Lacus Clyne, in the eyes of just about everyone was considered perfect. She was beautiful, gentle, kind, generous, caring. She spoke to everyone politely and treated them nicely; even when insulted or criticized horribly, Lacus managed to keep her cool and still be nice when any normal person would snap. He was sure the girl he had met, if she hadn't been tied up, at any of those moments where he mocked her, the blonde would have jumped him and scratched his eyes out like some sort of cat. But of course, like his fiancée, this girl had her gentler moments.

'I'm Cagalli! What's your name?'

He hesitated to shoot at the Archangel when he heard the broadcast she had made, even trying to pull back Dearka long enough to keep him away from damaging the legged ship until the Orb forces were in the way. Many people paused in their fighting at her bold statement, questioning whether or not they should believe it. Back on that island, she told him her name was Cagalli. Her voice stayed had been in his head ever since then, making him question many of his decisions regarding the war. When he heard the announcement, Athrun knew it was her and he just couldn't find it in him to hurt her.

He turned his head away to stare at the ocean rather than Orb which was right in front of him, berating himself for obsessing over a girl he knew almost nothing about while saying a silent apology to Lacus for what he thought of as infidelity. As hard as he tried to resist, an image of her smiling at him before they separated to go back to their groups came into his mind.

"Cagalli Yula Attha…"

-

Is that alright?
I give my gun away when it's loaded
Is that alright?
If you don't shoot it, how am I supposed to hold it
Is that alright?
If I give my gun away when it's loaded
Is that alright
Is that alright with you?

Is that alright?
Is that alright?
Is that alright with you?
Is that alright?
Is that alright?
Is that alright with you?

No…

-

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THE END!

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Disclaimer – I do not own Gundam Seed or the song 9 Crimes which is beautifully sung by Damien Rice and Lisa Hannigan.