AUTHOR'S NOTE: All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. I do not own the characters involved in this work of fiction. It's a worked shoot, brother.

OH DEL RIO! (Tell Me Everything You Know)
Chapter 1: Get Bro-ver It!

"Take care! Spike your hair! Woo woo woo! You know it, bro!"

At the uttering of those words, Zack Ryder had wrapped up yet another entertaining episode of his web show, "Z! True Long Island Story". The man was an internet sensation. He was racking up views that went up to the millions. He has gained a rapport with his co-workers who have praised him for a job well done, week in and week out.

It was a special episode this week. As a reward for his efforts, management has agreed to put him on the flagship show so Zack decided to film this episode entirely within the confines of the arena.

But it isn't always fame and fortune for Zack. He was a popular guy backstage but women weren't exactly throwing their bodies at him. They would compliment his videos here and there but they would eventually move on with their own lives and make out with their own boyfriends. It's been weeks since he experienced that with his now ex-girlfriend. If he could compare his manhood, he would compare it to a cactus – it's there, filled with water and nutrients, but no one's really there to use it.

He approached the water cooler, wailing a sad tune.

"Ain't nothin' but a heaaaaartaaaaache!
Ain't nothin' but a missssstaaaaaake!
I never wanna hear you saaaaay,
I... waaaant... it... thaaaaat waaaaaay."

His broskis, Dolph Ziggler and Curt Hawkins, shot weird looks at the Long Island Iced Z. He didn't seem to mind belting out to the Backstreet Boys with much emotion while getting a cup of water. He reminisced the time his then girlfriend dressed up as Princess Leia and pressed her lips against his for the show.

"Would it help if I told you your ex-girlfriend's father was your dad, too?" Curt suggested.

"Are you serious, bro?" Zack snapped back. "I've only seen Star Wars, like... five times. I think I'd know that that would mean she's found someone who'd let her ride his Millenium Falcon while I only end up with something like a... medal of honor."

As Zack put the brim of the cup near his lips, Dolph gave the Internet Champion a sympathetic pat on the back.

"You keep doing your thing, bro," he added.

Dolph threw his paper cup into the trash bin and started walking away.

"Where you headed, bro?" Zack hollered.

"Double date!" he answered. "Bellas!"

"And?"

Dolph looked over his shoulder and smirked.

"Bellas."

Zack and Curt's eyes had widened in disbelief over Dolph's luck with the ladies. Despite his recent break-up with Nikki, Dolph kept contact with both of the Bella Twins. Granted, their little rendezvous for that night was just a one-off thing.

"Bellas..." Zack repeated as Dolph left the room.

A short moment of silence consumed the area.

"Damn..." Curt followed.

Zack Ryder walked around the arena with the Internet Championship flung over his shoulder. He whipped out the Flip Cam he received from his Morrison-obsessed father and looked into his reflection on the LCD mirror. The lack of a special woman in his life never stopped him from being conscious of his physical appearance. He felt up the rugged nature of his jaw and immediately thought of shaving it that night. He patted his spiked up hair lightly and fixed up his authentic Broski headband. But despite his lively and excitable personality, he couldn't help but feel a bit empty inside.

Bored out of wit's end, Zack propped himself on this big, black hard case containing some of the equipment relevant to the show's production. He hit the record button on his pocket-sized Flip Cam and simply observed his surroundings. He could see ordinary backstage personnel having a chat at one side of the hallway. He could see some wrestlers in their gear, emerging from the locker room, ready for action.

From a distance, he heard a soft moaning coming from the room to his right. He directed his camera to that general direction and watched as the door slowly opened to reveal the former Diva's Champion, Maryse, fixing her hair and pulling down the hem of her sleek, black dress. After stepping aside to check her face in the compact mirror, another figure emerged from that same room. And there he was, Alberto Del Rio, putting his white scarf around his neck and fixing the collar of his shirt. Zack was compelled to keep the camera rolling. He put part of his fist in his mouth to silence him from reacting out loud. Before parting ways, Alberto placed Maryse's falling dress strap back around her bare shoulder and whispered what was presumably sweet nothings into her ear. She responded with a small giggle and tried her best to maintain her balance on her high-heeled Louboutins.

Zack pushed the stop button at that moment. He didn't know how and why that happened but he had a pretty good guess at what transpired in that room. When Alberto turned to the side where Zack was, the Long Island Iced Z's heart leapt and caused him to frantically identify what "acting naturally" meant. Zack quickly set his Flip Cam aside and put his sunglasses on while resting his head on the wall behind him. With his hands in his pockets, the Mexican Aristocrat loomed by the hallway like a shark in the water.

"'Sup, broski?" Zack blurted out.

Del Rio was startled by this approach. He looked at Zack and chuckled as if a penis was drawn on his forehead as a rib. He playfully wagged his finger at Zack and for a split second, gritted his teeth and went along his way without responding to the question. This curious behaviour piqued Zack's interest. He waited for a few moments before deciding to follow Alberto around with his Flip Cam in hand.

Zack watched him make a turn to the catering area. He decided to hide behind the divider and observe Del Rio's actions. It was a pretty populated area. Zack doubted the possibility of any shenanigans going down but it was best to stay vigilant. The only Diva in the area was Eve Torres, helping herself to some chicken pot pie. She was dining with Jan, the make-up lady but after finishing her meal and going back to her station, Eve was left alone. Zack slowly pulled out his Flip Cam when he saw Alberto approach the booty-popping Diva's table.

"Hope you don't mind me sitting here..." he said

Eve scouted the area and playfully raised an eyebrow at the Mexican Aristocrat.

"There's like... five empty seats over there, you know," she replied with a sly smirk on her face.

Alberto chuckled and seated himself immediately next to her.

"And leave such a... mujer hermosa alone at this table?"

Zack noticed Eve's body twitching. She seemed to have let out a random, shrill giggle. As if she was being... tickled. He zoomed in at the bottom of the table to see if anything was happening there. And indeed, he could see manly hand moving around between her legs.

"Not... now... Alberto!" said Eve, struggling through her giggling fit.

She pulled his hand away from her nether region and placed it on his own lap.

"¡Qué lástima!" exclaimed Del Rio. "And to think I acquired this custom-made necklace just for you..."

He teased the former Diva's Champion by taking out a small black jewellery case from his inside pocket and waving it in the air. Eve's face lit up as she grabbed the case from his hand and pulled up the necklace to gander at its full length. She was impressed by the precision of the diamond studs lining her name. It was unlike any customized necklace. Given the material, it was an accessory that only the wealthy could afford at whim.

Using Eve's fork, Alberto Del Rio took a small bite out of her pie and daintily wiped his mouth with a clean napkin. He turned to Eve with an overly satisfied grin.

"So... hasta luego, chica? After the show?"

Without hesitation, Eve slowly nodded in response and bit her lower lip.

"That's what I thought," said Del Rio as he rose from his seat. He helped put the necklace around her neck and left her with his trademark playful wink. At this moment, Zack pressed the stop button. And he thought Dolph was a player.

Zack fled the scene before any further suspicion arrived. Alberto Del Rio seemed to have the wealth that literally brought women to their knees. What his objective was, Zack didn't have a clue. But he's probably found the solution to his on-going dry spell.