Listen to /watch?v=ZGCJxDbZSxQ while reading. xo
(song) Losing Your Memory - Ryan Star
"Selena?!" He shook her, her head on his lap, "Stay with me! You're not leaving me! Selena!"
Her eyes fluttered open slightly, smiling weakly, "I would never leave you.. What a silly thought."
Derrick gritted his teeth, "Damn it, Selena. Why couldn't you just have waited like I told you to?!"
Selena raised a shaky hand to stroke his cheek, "My sister could have died.. I couldn't let the curse take her… I had to redeem myself."
"But YOU got hurt! She could have defended herself!" Derrick nearly shouted. He propped her head on his arms. "Stay with me…" He grabbed Adelaide's wrist as she came by. "Where are they?! Is help coming?!"
"T-they're coming—only a matter of time," Adelaide said in a shaky voice, yanking her wrist away. Her gaze dip to Selena, her face losing more color. "Selena.. you shouldn't have.. I could have taken it."
For a moment, Selena's face sharpened as if she still had her strength. "No.. I would never let you feel what th-that curse feels like. I won't let what y-y-you go through what dad went through."
"I'm not a little girl anymore!" Adelaide snapped but kneeled to Selena's level.
"You'll always be my little sister," Selena smiled before a cough took her of her. Her head spun and throb for a few minutes when the cough took over her body. Somewhere in the distance, Selena heard her name being called in horror. It was too late. She closed her eyes and drifted into some place warm.
4 days later.
"Has she awaken?" Derrick asked.
The Mediwitch glanced at Derrick taking note of his weight loss and bags under his eyes. "No, Mr. Patton. She's been sleeping since she was brought here. She'll come around shortly.. Why don't you come back later? Get some rest and eat something."
Derrick grounded his teeth together, "It's been 4 days.. I need to see her…At least for a few minutes."
The Mediwitch sigh getting irritated seeing Derrick every hour, she ushered him over, "Fine. 5 minutes and that is it. Are we clear?"
Derrick nodded quickly.
She unlocked the double doors, leading him into a brightly lit hall. Too bright for such a sad place. They stopped at room number 599. "She's in here," The Mediwitch said almost rudely.
Derrick paid her no attention and rushed into the room the moment the door was open. Selena look cleaner than he last saw her, her hair was neatly combed back, all traces of dirt and blood scrubbed away. She looked as if she's been sleeping the whole time.
He took a seat beside her bed, taking her hand in his. He frowned noticing how much weight she was losing. "Sel… It's me, Derrick." He felt a little awkward talking but pushed on. "If you can hear me… Please show a sign that you're still there.. The Medi wizards and witches said you might not make it.. Please prove to me that they're wrong."
No response.
He gave her hand a little squeeze. "Sel… Please… You said forever and always." His voice breaking.
He felt a twitch and his heart skipped a beat. "Sel?... W-was that you?" Another twitch and then a gentle squeeze in hand. A single tear escaped his eye, "Godric.. Selena… You survived." He looked up and jumped seeing that she was staring right at him. "Selena!..." He leaned down and pulled her in a warm hug.. "You're alive… You're alive!.."
Selena felt bewildered. The first scary part was seeing a needle box in front of her, that almost made her wet herself. The second was a strange guy holding her hand and then hugging her. She feebly pushed him away. He let go but stared at her in confusion.
She took a moment to register his face. Under other circumstances she would have enjoyed a moment being hugged by this guy but right now she was just scared. She gave a dry cough which made the boy leaned slightly to her. She leaned away, "Uh.." Her voice was raspy and it hurt to talk. "Do you.. have water?"
The boy didn't respond but instead ran out of the room and was heard shouting for medi witches to come in and get her water. She felt flattered for a moment but then she began to realize there was a throbbing in her head.
She had no time to collect her thoughts when the boy came back in and a few other medi doctors. She flinched at the sight of them feeling fear creep up her spine.
"Mrs. Patton… You're finally awake." A medi wizard spoke up.
"Mrs.?" Selena asked, confused.
Derrick's eyes widen for a moment.
The medi wizard caught that and looked worried for a fleeting moment. "My bad.. ma'mn.. I mean, Ms. Marie.. Ah.. Another patience is named Mrs. Patton.." He exchanged a warning glance at Derrick and returned his glance back to Selena. "You're in St. Mungo right now.. You were in an accident and Mr. Patton here—" He patted on Derrick's shoulder. Derrick didn't seem to register that, he was staring at Selena in shock eyes. "Rescued you… You have been asleep for 4 days."
"4 days?!" She was alarmed.
He nodded and the medi witches came near and gave her a cup of water. She drank it, eyes trained on the medi doctor. "Yes.. 4 days.. I see that you're awake now. I would like it if you were to stay at St. Mungo a few more days just to see if you're okay."
Selena looked conflicted, "No. I want to go home.. To my parents, to my sister."
"You can't go home!" Derrick blurted out. The medi doctor shot him a look.
Selena turned her gaze to him. "Look… thank you for rescuing me but I don't want to be here.. I don't like it here.. I want my family. You don't know who I am, don't boss me around. I'm not a little girl!"
Derrick flinched as if he'd been slapped.
"Ms. Marie…. I insist, you must stay here a few more nights."
She glared at him and swung her legs around the bed standing. She toppled and Derrick was there instantly, catching her. "Selena.." He said exasperated. "You're not well.. You can't go home!"
She pushed him away roughly. "Who ARE you?!"
He looked conflicted, "I'm your hu-"
"Friend," the medi doctor cut in. "He's a friend.. His name is Derrick Patton." For a moment he looked trouble as if he can't find his words. "It seems like when you were in your accident, you've gotten memory lost."
That made her look up. "Will I get my memories back?"
The medi doctor frowned, "Possibly." Behind Selena, Derrick paled slightly.
"Explain possibly," Selena narrowed her eyes.
"If you try to remember too much…" The doctor looked directly at Derrick. "Your brain might not be able to take it and you might never get them back and that could be bad for your health.. For now.. Focus on resting your body and don't push yourself… Stay over night."
"No," Selena said, firmly. "I am going home.. I'm 18.. I am legal to do what I want." She turned to Derrick, "And you aren't stopping me." Derrick clenched his jaw. She turned her attention back to the medi doctor annoyed, "May I please contact my sister?"
The medi doctor looked like he was about to bash her head against the door until she falls back asleep but he nodded. "Of course."
A few hours later at home.
"Does mom and dad know that I was at St. Mungo?" Selena asked, frowning.
Adelaide didn't face her, busy cleaning the fireplace. She felt terrible. "Yes," she lied. "They just cant come now.. They have a very important business errand to be at you.. You know them."
Selena sighed feeling annoyed at her mother. She rested her head on the couch pillow. "And what about that boy Derrick? He seems like a close friend but I can't remember."
Adelaide whirled around, "Selena.. You're not suppose to think too hard. It's not good for you."
Selena sighed again. Awhile ago, Derrick offered to get Selena home and she had to agree. He didn't apparate her but took her through the train station home. He didn't say much to her but Selena did remember seeing him out of the corner of her eye, staring at her. It was almost like he was in love with her which she thought was amusing.
When she got home, Adelaide ordered Derrick to lay her on the couch. Embarrassingly, she had to be picked up like a small child and laid on the couch. He didn't complain and went outside to talk to Adelaide. Maybe they were together.
"Is Derrick your boyfriend?" Selena grinned.
Adelaide gaped, "WHAT?! NO! He-" She paused remembering her conversation with Derrick.
"Don't try to make her remember me.. I don't want her to push herself," Derrick had said. He looked like a man who had lost everything in his life, no reason but hope to hold onto. Adelaide couldn't help but did as he told, she was sadden by the sight of him. She has never seen him this broken.
"He's just a close family friend," Adelaide said quietly.
"Do ya like him?" Selena grinned, taking a bite of a cookie.
Adelaide shook her head, "You're silly. Now get some rest-" The door bell rang. "Now who could that be?" She sighed setting down her feather duster and opening the door, "Derrick?"
He stood awkwardly on the front door step, flowers in his hands. "Hey, Ade…" He greeted awkwardly. "Selena awake?"
"Uh..yeah." Adelaide said, opening the door wider for him to come in. He stepped in, eyes going to Selena. "Hey Sel.. Glad to see you're awake."
Selena sat up, smiling brightly. Derrick froze for a heart beat seeing that smile on her face thinking she remembered him.
"Are those for Adelaide?" Selena asked brightly. Behind Derrick, Adelaide face palmed herself.
"Er…No.." Derrick said, eyebrow raised. "These are for you." He pulled up a chair and handed it to her.
"Awh, that's sweet of you." She took them and smiled softly at them. She glanced at the clock. "It's 15 minutes before 12. Shouldn't you be asleep? It looks like you haven't slept in forever!"
Derrick chuckled, "It's you who I should be asking.. You're the one who just got out of St. Mungo."
Selena laid the flowers across her lap. "I don't sleep. Sleep is for the weak."
From the kitchen Adelaide called out, "You sleep the most out of the whole family!"
Selena scowled causing a slight smile on Derrick's face.
"What?" She asked him.
He shook his head, "Nothing.. I.. uh.. should get going." He stood.
"But you just got here?"
"I have…things to do.. I just wanted to see if you were okay." He glanced down at her having a flash back of when they were in 1st year when he told her not all 2nd years are bullied. The same expression was on her face.
"Adelaide is boring to talk to.. I think you're pretty interesting." Selena beamed.
Derrick chuckled and leaned down kissing her forehead and froze. Selena stiffened.
An awkward silence.
"….Is this tradition?" Selena pulled back, eyes wide confused. "I mean… I do this with my family but I'm not too sure about us."
Adelaide stepped in to save the day. "Yes.. He does this all the time to you."
Derrick pulled back, looking away. "Sorry...Habit."
Selena smiled and pulled him down by the shirt. She kissed his forehead. "Well… Maybe I'll remember if I do the same." He looked stun momentarily remembering of how she was in 1st year again. He pulled back again and coughed. "Well…Good night you 2." He turned on his heels. "Good night, Derrick Patton!" Selena called out.
The door closed.
Adelaide turned to her sister eye brow raised, "Now… What was that about?"
"Well he is good looking… I mean… Why not?" Selena grinned almost childishly.
Adelaide almost smiled.
Next night at a bar.
"Selena?" Derrick looked startled. "What are you doing here? You shouldn't be here!"
Selena turned to the voice, surprised. "Oh.. Hi, Derrick…" He continued to stare at her in shock. "Well… Adelaide was treating me like a kid so I snuck out to have a drink.."
He shook his head, "Go home.. You need rest."
She frowned, "Derrick.. I'm 18.. I can take care of myself. Adelaide is still younger than me."
"I'll OWL your sister if you don't go home.. I'll take you home."
Selena pushed away her foot, turning her chair to face you. "What is it with you?! Since I've woken, everyone has been bossing me around.. Especially you. I just want to be able to find myself again." She stood and stormed out of the bar.
Derrick stood still for a moment before chasing after her. "Selena! Wait!"
She continued walking. He ran up and grab her arm, turning her around. "What do you want, Derrick?!" She snapped.
The words slipped out before he can stop them. "I don't want you to look at me the way you do."
Confusion flashed across her face for a moment then irritation. "Why do you care of how I look at you?"
His mouth open for a moment trying to find his words. "Because…"
She raised a brow, "Because?"
In an instant, he grabbed her and pulled her into a desperate kiss. It didn't matter anymore. This hurt too much for him. 5 days gone and he has to pretend he's a friend, stand on the side lines as if nothing between them ever happened, playing along while she loses herself. He couldn't take it. Her mouth was the same as he remembered and she given into him for a moment before pushing him away.
It felt right to her, as if this was somehow normal, just for a moment. Then the pain came in her head, pieces of her memories coming back. She remembered her dad being killed by a death eater. She remembered Derrick leaving her, throwing down the engagement ring leaving her alone in her old house to go work for the Dark Lord. She remembered that. She pushed him away roughly making him stumble back. "Y—you… I remember." Her voice shook.
Derrick stared at her in awe. "You remember?.. You remember us?"
Her voice was hard, "I remember you left me.. You worked for him. You work for You-Know-Him. Son of a bitch, stay away from me."
Derrick recoiled, "Selena!-"
"I don't want to hear about it. Stay out of my life and stay away from Adelaide," She sneered. She took out her wand and apparated out before he can reach out to her.
"What have I done?" He whispered.
When the door bell rang, Adelaide stomped to the door and open the front door to see Selena, a lecture already embedded in her head. "WHERE THE HE-" She stopped seeing the anger in Selena's face, everything forgotten momentarily. "What happened?"
Selena pushed her way in and slammed the door shut. "Why didn't you tell me?" Selena whirled on her. "Why didn't you tell me Derrick is a deatheater?!"
Realization dawned her. "Oh, Selena-"
"WHY didn't you yell me?" Selena repeated.
"He's not-" Adelaide started.
"Oh yes he is! I remember.. I got my memories back! Clearly he IS one." Selena shouted. "Our FATHER was KILLED by one. I don't trust death eaters, Adelaide! I thought you knew this!"
Adelaide grabbed Selena's hand. "Selena! The war is OVER! Derrick is INNOCENT. He never wanted to fight for that side! He is your HUSBAND."
Selena froze, "What?"
Adelaide eyes widen knowing she said too much. She shook her head but Selena yanked away, grabbing her. "Derrick is my.. What?"
Adelaide took a seat on the couch, hands covering her face. "You don't remember… You're married to him, Selena… He fought on our side.. You 2 were engaged in your 6th year and married as soon as the war was over.. Selena.. he loves you."
Horror and shock washed over Selena. She couldn't be married to a monster. Every death eater is a monster and she knew that. That was the rule she lived by. "No." Even the coldness in her voice scared her. "I don't believe you-" The door opened and Derrick stepped in. "I wouldn't marry monster." The world stood still for a moment. "Selena…" Derrick said.
She turned on him, "Haven't I already told you to stay away?!" Sparks flew out of her wand.
Adelaide stood abruptly, grabbing her sister. "Enough.. Selena.. You're tired go to sleep."
Selena yanked away again, advancing on Derrick, shoving at him. "Listen, you bastard. I would never marry your kind. You're a disgrace to the wizarding world. Everyone has a choice and clearly you 've chosen your choice." She glanced down at his rolled up sleeve, the death mark staring right at her. She looked back up at his shock and hurt expression. She felt a twinge of guilt but her anger washed over it. "Stay. Away. From. Us."
Derrick saw the battle has lost. He would never get her back. Every word she said was like an arrow through him. His time with her was over. His voice sounded distant from him, "Fine… I'll leave at dawn, 6am sharp and you would never see me again." He gave Adelaide an apologetic look, she only stared at him back in horror. Selena blocked his way and slammed the door in his face.
When the door was shut, Selena stared at the door wondering what she just did.
"SELENA!" Adelaide rushed to the door, opening it but Derrick was already gone. She turned to face her sister, "SELENA, YOU LOVED HIM AND HE LOVED YOU! HOW COULD YOU DO SUCH THING?!"
"I don't love him!" Selena shouted back. "Now leave me ALONE!" She rushed upstairs and slammed her bed room door, collapsing on her bed, feeling like her head is going to split. Sleep stole over her.
Her dreams were weird and murky. It was purple and black fog. She was walking to a light at the end of the room. When she got there, she felt a terrible pain in her head, worst than before as if her head was going to combust. Far away she heard a scream and then there was a flashes. The last pieces of her memory. She remembered and then she woke up, finding her cheeks wet. "Derrick." She whispered.
She look at the clock. 20 minutes to 6. She thundered downstairs finding Adelaide looking like she's been crying. "Where is he?!" She asked immediately.
"Dad's not her—" Adelaide started to say in a trembling voice.
"Not dad.. Derrick." Time was running out.
Adelaide perked up but then shook her head. "I'm not letting you hurt him anymore—"
"Damn it, Ade. I remember him. I remember marrying him. I remember everything. WHERE is he?"
Joy crossed Ade's face quickly replaced by fear, "I don't know.. I tried OWLing him 8 times but I never got a response..—"
Selena didn't stay to listen but opened the front door, seeing a note on the door step which couldn't have been seen last night. She picked it up and read it.
"Selena,
I knew this time would come and this is the moment whether you remember me or not. I've told you I could not live without you and I mean it. I cannot bear to think of you with anyone else, I know it sounds selfish of me but you belong with me Selena. After everything we've been through, I cannot simply throw it away like that. Selena, I love you and I'll love you to the day I die but I can't live without you. I'd said I do anything you want and you sent me away and away I will go unless you'll find me again. If you don't remember me, perhaps we will meet in another life time and I will be able to redeem myself for being the monster I am. If you do remember me, you would know where to find me before it's too late because we should have no place with a bad story. You said forever and always, Selena. Please remember before it's too late.
-Derrick
She didn't hesitate, she dropped the letter and apparate out of her home, leaving a scared Adelaide alone.
Derrick glanced at the old clock in Selena's old home. Only 5 minutes left. He stared at his wand frighten. He wanted her to remember, more than anything. It hurt to think of his life without her but he said he would do as he was told of her. A promise was a promise, a Slytherin is loyalty bound, more so than a Hufflepuff. A choke sob escaped him but he swallowed it. He will not cry. He chose this path, it was his fault. His fault to blame. If only he could have took the curse instead of Adelaide, if only he didn't give in to the Dark Lord, if only he was strong enough. The clock stroke 6. Selena doesn't remember.
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath raising his wand, pointing at himself. "Av—"
"Expelliarmus!" His wand flew out of his hand. He opened his eyes glaring but then froze, "Selena…"
She stood in front of him glaring and he swallowed getting ready for another torrent of insults. "I—"
She didn't give him a chance to speak but launched at him. He caught her, confused and she sobbed into his neck. "I'm so sorry—Derrick, I'm the monster—I should have never said that—I'm sorry-Der—" He pulled her away, staring at her face with a blank stare.
She stared at him in horror, "N-no-no.. Y-you-" He looked at her in confusion. "Please - pelase—Derrick.. Please remember me.. I'm not late-Please tell me you didn't try to forget me!" She shook him.
He stopped her and she froze, staring at him frighten. "Selena… I love you."
She gasped and hugged him again, knocking him down against the wall. "I love you, too, Derrick. Forever—"
-and always," He finished. He stroked her hair. "You came on time…"
She nodded into his neck, shaking from everything. "You're no monster… You're my hero."
"And you're my goddess.." He said, smiling softly, feeling his cheeks getting wet, holding her closely.