Summary: Voldemort hates Christmas and everything to do with it. What will he do when a certain some one sends him a present? One shot.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with Harry Potter. I'm just a slightly mad writer who gets random ideas jump into her head.
It was Christmas Eve and Voldemort gazed gloomily out of a window in his ancestral home. He hated Christmas and everything associated with it. Christmas was not a good time for evil Dark Lords trying to take over the world. Take Hitler, for example, he committed suicide on Christmas after his failed war (AN: I don't think that is right but it suits my story). Not to mention all the times at the orphanage when he didn't get what he wanted. No, Christmas was just stupid.
"Jingle bells, jingle bells. Jingle all the way…" Nagini hissed slithering into the room. "Master, why are you so glum? It's Christmas! You know season of good will to men and…snakes?" She gulped as Voldemort got off his seat and strode towards her, his face murderous.
"Christmas! Christmas! How stupid can you get? Fools and goody goodies not DARK LORDS celebrate Christmas! I mean who would give a present to a Dark Lord? It's just not done." Voldemort ranted.
Nagini's scales turned white and she swiftly hid the brightly wrapped present behind a chair. "Only fools would celebrate Christmas Master." She quickly agreed.
Voldemort nodded, looking relieved as he slowly sank back into his chair. "Good. I'm glad you agree."
Suddenly an owl slammed into the back of Voldemort's head with a loud thump. Before Voldemort could 'Avada Kedavra' the stupid bird, it took off like a rocket. "Who would be stupid enough to send me this… this…" He trailed off as he noticed that the parcel was wrapped in purple paper with shining stars on. A letter fluttered to the floor.
"Master look a letter." Nagini pointed out the obvious.
"I know it's a letter Nagini." Voldemort snapped. He gingerly picked it up as if he thought that it would explode in his face.
"Read it then Master."
"Will you shut up!"
"Fine. I'll go. I know when I'm not wanted." Nagini huffed and, proudly lifting her head, slithered out of the room.
Left in peace, Voldemort warily put the parcel onto the table and opened the letter. After he had read it once, he read it again and then a third time. His face turned an ashen white and he dropped the letter onto the floor. The letter landed face up and the words were clearly seen:
To Voldemort
I'm sorry about the owl – I had to use Pig and he gets very excitable. I guess you're wondering why I sent you a letter and a present? Well, I know what it's like to not get anything on Christmas and (don't take this the wrong way) I felt sorry for you.
Look, I know you're out to get me and kill me but it's Christmas. Ok, Christmas Eve but the point's still there. You know, the season of good will to all men and sworn enemies.
I know you probably weren't expecting a gift and your 'gift' to me probably would have been a raid, but it's Christmas. (And yes I do know I'm repeating myself).
Christmas is for EVERYBODY, not just, as I'm sure you're thinking, 'goody goodies'. Well, Merry Christmas and I hope you like your present.
From the boy-who-you-keep-trying-to-kill
HARRY POTTERVoldemort frowned and tapped his long white fingers on the table. "I do NOT understand that boy." He muttered aloud. "What is he thinking? I'm his enemy! He isn't supposed to buy me presents. I'm trying to kill him for pity's sake! I murdered his parents and been trying to kill him all his life! That kid has got some serious issues."
Surprising, even himself, he picked up the present that was wrapped up in the most awfully girly paper and opened it. He gasped like a fish out of water and gasped some more.
The present was a… jumper. But that wasn't so bad about it. The colour was blue…that was all right except it had a green snake on it with the words 'I'm an evil Dark Lord so don't mess with me' around the snake.
He randomly decided to put on the jumper. (His excuse later on was that he was trying it on for size). It fitted perfectly. It was, he mused, actually quite warm and did suit him. Unfortunately a random death eater, who will remain name less, arrived and saw his Lord wearing a Weasley made jumper. He recognised this because his son went to Hogwarts. "My Lord! You're wearing a jumper made by a mud blood lover." He screamed in a shock.
"Grr." Voldemort growled and killed the nameless death eater in disgust. "I hate Christmas!" He declared, burning the jumper and letter. "I know what will cheer me up, coming up with new ways to kill that blasted Potter!"
