Of Snow and Stars:
A Timeless EncounterA V/P Two-part story for winter
Title: Of Snow and Stars
Timeframe:3 years pre ANH, 16 years post ROTS inter-trilogy (AU)
Characters: Vader, A certain Spirit of Vader's past
Themes: Mystery, angst and romance
Plot Summary: Whilst attending at an Imperial base on the snow planet Ilum, A surge in the Force leads Vader into a realm where he encounters a memory of his past thought to be long forgotten consoling him, in the form of an angel. –Momentarily.
Authors Notes: Guess I haven't posted up anything new until now, so here's a fic to celebrate the Christmas year, where we find out exactly 'what does a Dark Lord of the Sith such as Darth Vader have to do during a winter's season/ Christmas, well I've came up with a scenario for our Jedi-tunred Sith with how he experiences the emotions with the wonders of winter with a Christmassy feel. A scene is also inspired by Tim Burton's Edward Scissorhands, hope you'll find out which inspiration it is! Hope you enjoy, and have a great read!
A/N 2: I own neither Star Wars created by George Lucas or Edward Scissorhands by Tim Burton.
Love is more than a candle, its purifying light melts the coldest of hearts
In the gathering darkness that blanketed Ilum's frost-edged skies, stars barely glittered through the dense fog above. Evening had came and it foreshadowed a being who's existence delves in darkness, Darth Vader Dark Lord of the Sith emerged from his private quarters built especially for him during his rather rare visits to the snow covered planet, he had recently attended for a meeting with Imperial affairs who's team worked here for many years since the base had been first established by the Galactic Empire, to intercept any Jedi who might recklessly return to obtain Adegan crystals which are used in the construction of their lightsabers.
Ilum had been home to many of those crystals, yet it was also a place to many caverns that held them.
But for Vader this planet held a secret in which he had kept hidden for most of his adult life. No matter how much he had tried to blank it out, Vader could not escape from the fact that this is where he had built his first lightsaber, as a 12-year-old boy as part of his training with the man called Obi-Wan whom he had once called his master, a planet of a memory of who he once was.
For Vader however these memories were of no importance, he had made himself bound to his duty to the Empire and as the apprentice to the dreaded Emperor Palpatine whose entire forces plagued the very reaches of the galaxy, who made a pact with Vader on that day 16 years earlier when the true face of a once understanding and humble Chancellor of the Old Galactic Republic had been revealed before him, and that through him he will learn the knowledge of how to protect and save the woman he most loved before, before his love had taken from him. In which his Master had told him she had died at the very height of his anger, and have since then felt nothing but the fury and self-loathing that had driven him on all these years.
That was another fact of his past life, which was a path he dares not to tread upon.
Vader had trained himself becoming hardened and impervious to such emotions of joy and sorrow.
For the memory of his loss still remained in the murkiness of the dark Lord's mind.
Not so long ago Vader had been in meditation focusing on the powerful energies which the Dark side wrapped him in.
Yet something was trying to pry into the concentration of his Force meditation in his private chamber, his mental block had done little to ignore it as insignificant and it felt as though a something was trying to call out to him mentally and had been becoming more unlimited and difficult to focus. He cut himself back to reality and therefore decided to take matters outside of the technological surroundings, which filled the base.
Artic wind howled through the night air, buffeting against the Dark Lord's cape as he ventured outward into the open, the dense fog was starting to clear and the stars above glittered like little gems, which mirrored against the chrome-black durasteel that concealed him from his outside surroundings, which also kept hidden the scars of mental and physical pain he endured long ago.
Vader could not isolate the reason why he chose not to remain in the confines of the base, in the safety of his mediation chamber, yet something felt as though he wanted to spend at least some time alone to allow himself for once to wonder, to witness this environment in which he had dismissed for so long in his life, he then found himself gazing outwardly across an ever-lasting terrain of snow and many crystalline peaks that jutted from the surface that seemed to sparkle by moonlight.
Not far away Vader's Lambda-class Shuttle was docked on a platform, his means of transportation on and off world the planet.
Snow was falling softly; it made crunching sounds under the Sith Lord's heavy boots, Vader reached out and allowed the many tiny snowflakes to gather upon his gloved hand.
Curious, he looked up at the night sky and took in the dark, grey clouds that were massed above them.
The Dark Lord realised that he had come here to gather his thoughts other than Imperial affairs, but also as a way of understanding the means why so many beings in this galaxy, regardless of the Empire's very control of it, that the many billions of living beings scattered across the many far reaches of space would mark an end of a year's cycle in a quiet Celebration. Marking a winter's Solstice many a being would be Celebrating in a time of giving, sharing and with such wondrous joy, entire families welcoming their relatives and loved ones in a quiet time of happiness in spite of being in the palm of the Empire's reign.
Soon afterward these very thoughts made Vader disgusted, though he was not foolish to think almost nothing of dismissive sort. He clenched his fist hearing the sound of the collected snowflakes crunch under his anger whilst delving on those facts.
It had not always been like this for him, for in Vader's youth had he once shared that same feeling of emotion like those many life forms living in fear whom have the gall to be Celebrating every new beginning of each year, alas it had been a long time ago.
Yet even in his solitude out in the frigid open he could not seem to extinguish the tiny, fragile spark that dimmed in the very centre of his conscious mind.
After many years in service to the Emperor as Second in Command and his obedient apprentice of the Sith Master, had made him into a machine oblivious to such emotions and cold to his very blood.
Vader then opened his palm and stared at the little patches of water that dampened his leather-weave gauntlets, he could almost feel a new sense of curiosity that had somehow crept it's way into him and trying to dominate over the steel-wall which symbolized a barrier around himself which shuts himself completely from the outside world.
He could not feel the wetness or coldness of its once powdery form; he was invulnerable to the harsh cold climate by his temperature control system of the machinery that was connected to him.
Vader then began to focus on the tiny remains of crushed ice the tiny fragments of snowflakes glittered in the palm of his gloved hand, "So, this is snow?"
He mused, taking in the feeling of distant memories of growing up on a desert world, being raised in a warm climate where there was nothing but sand, the very opposite of the vast blankets of white. Snow, he recalled not only does it mark the end of year's cycle as a season but it is also something that makes a person feel young at heart, children and adults alike, it is something that they simply let themselves be lost in these moments.
He paused suddenly as many tiny snowflakes had taken its hold on him, like the many fragments of memories, those that had been so precious it began to pierce into
Vader's heart and so he brushed off those remains of ice and snowflakes in a flurry as he got himself back together.
"Perhaps I had been rather foolish of thinking about coming here," He spoke to himself as he clenched his fist harder, "Perhaps I shouldn't have come back to this world."
He was impervious the cold as he had been to his emotions, that was how it has always been since rising from the brink of what seemed certain death from the flames of Mustafar granted with a power greater than what he had as that young man years before, only now he felt somewhat different than usual.
Bitterness began to swell in his breast; he can turn away and leave this place, so that he can be rid of his surroundings that somehow can give light to the forgotten memories of his past, yet something other than the dark side's energy stirred deep inside him. For once in his adult life he had tasted the truth, this was why people had often celebrated an event in which to Vader had been cast out from himself, it had been an act of 'old ways', missing the event solstice year after year.
This revelation was enough to drive him into a blind fury as the thought of those times he had once loved and those close to his heart started to tear into him, those in which he had learned to keep hidden from ever being 'unlocked' from his heart, as though they had been buried, deep within the snow. He cursed under his breath, reaching his fist upwards toward the stars, each a tiny candle of light that held the darkness at bay, which seemed to look down upon him as though he was on trail before the galaxy.
I trusted you once Padme, yet I can't help what I feel no matter where I go, I can almost feel you near me. Feel your presence once more; I want you…by my side.
I did what I had to do for you and the child we would have had together…we would have loved…That is the way it should have been…now and forever!
"To be angry is to be human." A memory echoed across time.
It was then a stab of guilt that weighed upon him, as Vader lamented his thoughts reaching back to the birth of the Empire, and what he had done to secure it to his Master's will, also to prevent the ill-fate of his beloved late wife, to protect her from dying and from loosing their unborn child in the process.
What he wanted more than anything was to keep them safe from the nightmares that haunted his mind so that they would be with him forever enjoying the wonderful spirit of the winter-season like this happening on Ilum, he wanted those images of Padme screaming, dying and the wail of an infant in the darkness to stop, so badly, to prevent them from ever coming true, he took that life-changing step that had lead him to become the most feared being in the galaxy.
"Everyone will respect us, the whole galaxy will love us, and we will rule the galaxy together, you, me and our baby, make things the way we want them to be!"
His wife Padme's response, was of the love that flowed in her tears she shed that very day, where everything had been torn apart.
Now…
For a long time in his life from being human re-created as a cyborg did the lost feeling of despair began to take hold on Vader as he pondered afar, He could not shut out her pleas, her tears, her cries to him, for the newly christened Darth Vader had ended it all by his hand. That had been and always will be his curse to him.
Creeping up to the base of his shoulders forcing his restrained emotions come forth in a blur of hidden tears, he wept silently.
Like Palpatine's facial disfigurements, Mustafar had left the once skill-honoured Jedi scared, mortally wounded almost beyond recovery, stripped bare from becoming most 'powerful' than any living Jedi, Vader had thought those flames were nothing more than dying embers in the dark depths of his mind.
"You're not all powerful Annie."
A painful reminder that he realized, beyond the terrifying shaped mask and armoured shell he was not how many people looked at him at first glance.
The Sith Lord revived himself from his sate back to reality, shaking off those conflicting emotions and painful memories.
He gathered himself back on his feet, immediately heading back to the base.
It was then he felt a strange yet familiar sensation tug at his heart, it seemed to be that same feeling he felt earlier in his chamber like something trying to communicate, a message that made Vader yearn to travel further, he could not describe what he was about to do, yet it felt to him like the Force's will to allow him to follow his instincts and to solve the mystery of that strange mental calling.
He let his Force-awareness guide him, and found that the snow became a little lighter than before; he led himself down a snow-capped valley where large walls of rock and ice embedded with crystals took place on each side.
The crystals seemed to almost glow a magical blue-white aura in the moon's light, which caught Vader's attention to a nearby open entrance in that was the opening of a cave. He took a few steps foreword, daring himself at utmost feeling as though, he regarded the unnatural beauty of those jutting crystals that riddled the area.
Something seemed to be calling him, and Vader traced it as he entered into the cave.
I sense something…
He was not sure what it was, yet he felt that strange sensation calling to him, not willing to break it's mental contact with Vader, the Dark Lord prepared himself his lightsaber held at the ready as he ventured into the unknown cavern's entrance, using his Force awareness to alert him of any danger that could be lurking within the darkness of the cave, particularly predatory Gorgondons that preyed upon anything foolish enough to cross their path on the snowy plateaus of Ilum, Vader however was never foolish, he knew of this planets inhabitants long before the Empire's rule, in another time.
The Force's energy could not pinpoint any living being's life signature to Vader's knowledge, yet in those minutes taking a few steps into a tunnel from the cave's opening a sudden indescribable urge took over, a newly awoken feeling of curiosity and possibly even a little wonder as he noticed a feint glow ahead of him which seemed to glow brighter with each step Vader took foreword, he felt to his private astonishment as if he carried those same feelings which he had not felt since he was young.
The tunnel was lit with an illumining glow, which made the small crystals embedded in the snow-iced walls glitter like diamonds and finally Vader reached the tunnels end which let him into a centre of a large, domed roofed cavern, he allowed his vision to take in the many masses of crystals gathered together like formless ice-sculptures that shone as bright as an angel's halo, their light delved around them, the very sight of these tightened Vader's throat in sheer wonder and automatically loosened his grip on his lightsaber attached to his belt. He was frozen where he stood staring at the ethereal glow that basked these crystals, without thinking of his sudden action Vader surrendered the urge he fought within as he reached out with his gloved fingers into the pulsating glow that surrounded him, and felt an unnatural sensation that shot through his fingers through the metallic android frame that served as his arm and warmed his very heart. He in all his years could not believe what he could feel as he let as though his hand could touch in response like he could feel a long time ago, when his hands and arms were made of flesh, he was sure that he did not just imagine that sense of touch, he could actually feel it!
It felt wonderful.
Yet despite having surgically, grafted machinery that replaced his arms could he almost feel in that moment somewhat whole again, that was how Vader could explain it.
Then his mind took in his surroundings and took his hand out of the bathing light, he though he could almost feel the velvety softness of a woman's skin to his sudden shock and felt his anguish take hold once more, "If you can hear me my love," Vader called outwardly, to an opening in the cave's ceiling where the stars of night shone from the heavens into the cave centre, "I cannot think of another way to spend each Winter's passing to be without you, those were the time we used to celebrate together, Padme…I'm sorry…I'm so sorry…I miss you so much."
Vader took in his words and dipped his helmeted head in utmost shame as his despair of his loss came rushing back to him; those words to his surprise came from the very core of Vader, like the warming glow of the ice-crystals that surrounded him.
"You may deny it this time, but as I look into your heart where the light shines I knew one day you'll find a way…there is still good deep within you…"
"That voice," Vader alerted himself as he thought he had been in a trance as he searched for the disembodied voice that spoke to him, he could sense nothing in reality but chocked a feint whisper as it again spoke forth,
"Whoever may enter here, through me you enter, come into the light for outside love is cold…"
"Could it be?" Vader spoke his thought aloud as he drew himself nearer to the pulsating light once more and reached out with a gloved hand, and then he pulled his arm back forth to reveal a small glittering object placed in the very centre of his palm.
Like the many crystals shining throughout the cavern was a little jewel, which glowed a silvery blue aura and was shaped into a little star.
"This is for you, my gift for you." The voice clearly echoed through Vader's minds eye.
"For…me?" Vader found himself asking the disembodied voice finally, confusion taking over and a sudden mixture of emotions began to break free.
" But I…I do not deserve such a gift." Vader knew it was true, for he could not wipe out those echoing visions of his love, who's heart had been broken by the fire of his anger. He looked down into his palm where the star-jewel lay at what seemed a lifetime before long gazing into the maze of crystals, where some outreached the other into the purifying light.
A presence I feel here…Vader could feel in spite of the cold emptiness of the crystal cavern the welcoming light, which made him feel he was not alone.
The cold heart of steel in his chest that pumped venom and fury like the flowing rivers of lava on Mustafar had began to melt not by the anger and lust of power that drives Vader on, but something different.
Trough many years of living amongst the shadows Vader's emptiness inside had felt it had been taken over by a warm feeling of a sort.
Suddenly Vader froze as if he would turn to ice himself.
He felt his heart shudder in shock, thinking that his imagination had got the better of him when he thought he could see a ghost-like form bathed in the crystals luminescence. He nearly choked on a gasp, when he could actually see its
features begin to clear, a woman's, delicate, slender frame standing erect, striking to the human eye. The spirit woman's shoulder blades joined by two, magnificent ghostly wings that had both unfurled and raised high above her head.
Her hair, was a long sea of mahogany curls, with little swirled strands of pearl beads, embedded also with pure white moonflowers found only on Naboo.
The spirit wore a long, white beaded gown that sparkled magically, like the very stars of the galaxy.
The silvery moonlight shone through the open crevice above upon the angelic woman; there Vader felt could not believe what he was seeing as he felt it struck him immediately, the light revealed the staggeringly beautiful face of the woman Vader had always known and loved.
Again he felt his heart wanting to leap into his throat almost overcome by the shock, by the sight of a small pendant of a little wooden snippet connected by a delicate silver chain around her neck. For this had been a precious gift, one made long ago carved by the skilled hand of a kind nine-year old boy from a desert planet in the outer rim.
Vader too moved to speak not believe this was happening. He was being haunted he thought disbelieving, he thought he were seeing things!"
"Hello Anakin," the spirit woman spoke to him, calling him by his forgotten name.
"Padme…?" Vader answered, unsure if this was a trickery of illusion or that he had simply fallen into a comatose dream, he looked around at his surroundings in the cave everything seemed normal, even by his very touch he found himself turning to look at her again, she had not disappeared from his sight.
The Dark Lord could not expel a single thought that raced from every corner of his mind, nor explain of how he was feeling seeing a ghost-like image of the past
Vader spoke finally. "How can this be?"
"I have come to see you again, I may not be a Jedi but through the Force's power that binds us when we had been together I focused my form outside the afterlife, yet I am not sure how long this will allow me to remain. I had been calling out to you before and by the goddess you heard these calls didn't you."
Her beautiful face began to look sad, "You've changed so much."
"So this could not be a dream." Vader replied, still struggling with himself inwardly of what to make of his beloved wife's spirit's sudden appearance.
"Why did you not join me that day Padme, your life would have been spared and none of this would have happened!" But then controlled himself.
"I…I did not want to loose you that day on Mustafar Padme, My only intention was to keep you and the baby safe, I thought that you had allowed Obi-Wan to come in secret to stop me, he is a traitor to the Empire Padme and will always will be."
Padme shook his head and had somewhat stopped Vader from making a new sentence, "You still have much to understand, that is what I wanted you to know if I were to see you once more, more than anything,
"You may think from the way you had seen your former mentor standing on that ramp of my starship that I was against you by confiding in Obi-Wan, then I tell you now straight from my heart, on heaven itself I was just a shocked to see him there, for I came alone, apart from the company of our trusted droid 3-PO I alone came to find you, I was truly worried for you that day, I thought I had lost you. But blaming others for your downfall, as the man I knew has not prevented those nightmares from becoming true, for many years now you know this. But as you learnt of my death you had paid the ultimate price, bound to your grief for following a path of evil."
She stopped there, and allowed her words to be taken in by the ever-expressionless- masked Vader, it's effect to the fallen Jedi was such a staggering blow it made him understand how she had felt for him in this new reality, she was afraid of loosing him just as he was of loosing her to his nightmares, yet he did loose he and he had endured what seemed a lifetime of pain and hardened emotions that could not be diminished, these emotions made him into Vader, the monstrous Sith apprentice to the Emperor, it was the truth being played before him it was Vader's trail for his unspeakable doings to secure the Empire after his wife's passing.
Now here she was before him, was she real? It seemed a mystery to the Dark Lord, yet her enchanting beauty told him otherwise to believe in the spirit of his wife.
Stripped bare did he feel now of his armoured shell of Vader into the weaken form of the man he once was, human, and of deep emotions, he felt a surge of the emotional grip take hold as the eyes of Padme's angel turned penetrating, as though they could see right into Vader.
"I can see what your anger has become of you." She spoke. "You have become more than half machine, you can remember what the power you gained had been but that power you can touch is only a memory." By becoming what you are under the mastery of Palatine whom I knew as my Chancellor and Senator of my home planet before that you have destroyed not only the lives of innocent beings and of the Jedi Order who's council raised you and took care of you when you were very young, but you destroyed our lives, by severing the bond of our love we shared, I am your wife as you are my husband."
Vader had nothing to say on his behalf, he waved a hand outwardly as he had almost heard enough, as he was about to say in defence that the Jedi were traitors they did nothing to help me save you from those horrifying visions of you dying Padme, but he knew in the deep blackness of his soul where the tiny light that flickered the guilt made him feel for what he had done many years before. He was a monster, doing the Emperor's every command until one day he will rise to power and overthrow him. He could not deny the truth that swelled in him; he knew it was pointless to mask these thoughts in shadow before his beloved angel.
Until then he wordlessly admitted the fact of his sin, taking the lives of others, even those of the Jedi younglings, hiding the Council Chamber in the Jedi Temple where the slaughter took place. Frightened, confused he saw it in their eyes, which were their blood he could not wash out so easily.
Vader could not find a word that would describe how he was feeling at this time, the light had taught him in his heart that what he had done was wrong.
Everything he had done was wrong.
"Padme." He uttered, finding the courage to speak in such words that were completely the opposite of those used by Darth Vader.
"If…only I can change…if I can go back and took another path and not Palpatine's offer…if only I could look upon you now with my own eyes."
How he wanted more than anything to remove the restrictive and heavily built armour and protective durasteel that conceal him from the outside existence around him. Like being bathed in a brilliant sensation he had felt earlier that felt wonderful and alive.
But it wasn't to be so; Anakin Skywalker is dead, only Darth Vader remains.
Vader chose this path and the events that had occurred in his life so far was what happened by joining the Emperor as his apprentice, if it wasn't for Palatine he would have died on the blackened sand shores as the fires would eat his body alive, he remembered it well, and of the fact that his one true friend and mentor had left him there to die, seeing the man Obi-wan 's face looking down upon him, taking his lightsaber from him. Vader made an oath that one day he will return and he would look at what had become of his one time Jedi apprentice by his mistake of leaving him for the flames. He will see…
"I'm sorry Padme, my love I know what I have done, but I cannot change it."
Padme's face had a slight look of pain before Vader added,
"I lost you once and now here you are, and you are as beautiful as I have always known you. For so long I could not remember feeling so alone."
Padme's sad face relaxed and smiled a little but she began to look serious.
"I cannot stay in this life forever."
Vader's suddenly realized what Padme's spirit form had told him earlier, the woman he had loved more than nay thing in this galaxy was about to leave him again, and this time she will never be able to return. His sudden reaction aroused a fear like a monsoon of emotion, the fear of him not wanting to let her go, in spite of being told by his wife's spirit that she is no longer among other living things.
"Do not leave me…please…not again please!" Vader sputtered desperately, raising a hand, his arm outstretched trying to reach her uncontrolled was he of his emotions spilling forth, as though a different person other than the Dark lord has spoken with a different voice, with a different heart the echo of his former self had sprung forth form the depths of his icy heart and took over for him. He Darth Vader had actually pleaded with this almost non-existent spectre, but that same feeling he had felt as a child being parted from those he loved into his adult life still remained, that tainted his soul.
Padme's dark eyes gave him a warm, comforting look, her very gaze upon the man she loved, almost seemed like it could pry into him and expel those thoughts of fear and anguish that weighed her husband down into the darkness.
Vader had never felt so racked with guilt, the guilt he had kept secretly to himself all these years. This was a perfect moment he could be with her, but how can that be if she is not a living person she once was.
"How can I turn back? He asked vehemently. "I…I can't go back to the way things were, how could I undo everything I've done?"
"I'm afraid that is something you have to find out on your own, my part in this life is done, I may not be able to be with you a living person but try to remember that I will be with you in spirit like the remaining light that glows, flickering from within you. As I have told you by my vows on the day we wedded,
I love you. I am yours in life and in death wherever you go, whatever you do we will always be one, never doubt me my love I am yours.
You still have so much to learn, as you are no longer the man I once knew, but I still love you in spite of your actions, however soon you will learn that you are not alone in this galaxy, years would have passed until all is revealed."
"What do you mean Padme?" Vader asked as the figure became more transparent as the angel of Padme continued to fade in the background.
"It is not my place to tell you so soon," She answered him, " but time will tell in the future, but now all I ask of you above all things for once is for you to be experience the excitement of the coming new year, be happy by your surroundings and think of the wonderful times we shared together in times like this, it will help you to experience these feelings as a person not someone who is bitter and twisted.
Please my love for once in your life do something to make your memories of the past as wonderful not as a dark place of bitterness and sorrow you keep running from, if not for me then do it for the child we would have had together and the children we would have after that, they would have wanted you to enjoy this night as aside from being a dark Sith Lord."
"Happiness?" Vader uttered the word for himself in the dark "To be happy for once?"
"Padme, I must confess that is something I'm not quite sure I can recall myself to do." He said honestly.
"Though, I want you to know after all these years, my body maybe shattered from it's true form, encased in armour, my feelings towards the Empire's enemies are different to that of theirs, I may not be the man you call by 'Anakin' but my love for you has not changed after knowing the grief I have caused you."
He paused and Vader took in a deep breath speaking finally, "But for our child's sake and the children would have had, and for you my love it is what I'll do."
Padme face brightened into a warming smile "I know." enveloping Vader with sheer emotion as her love coursed through him comfortingly, he kept watching her fade, remembering her very smile embedding it into his memory before she will leave him, forever.
"Be happy my love," She said softly "Remember this night, and of the good times we shared, of our winter outing we shared as you completed your training terms, my gift in your hand will help you remember as a token of my love for you, letting you know that you are not alone. You have been given this symbolic golden key to a treasure chest overflowing with emotions that you've never felt before.
As I return to the afterlife, your mother is there waiting."
"My.. mother?" Vader whispered clearly shocked still struggling to believe; this information was too much to take in so suddenly.
"Seeing you like this causes her great pain even in spirit, she watches over you, she still cares for you in spite of what you have done and right now she would want you more than anything in this galaxy to keep with you only the happy thoughts of your life, those you have kept hidden from yourself, trying to forget those times of youth doesn't change the fact of who you once where before you became what you are now."
"I know you are such a good person, deep down inside of you, and you wouldn't want your mother suffer watching you as Lord Vader the rest of your life, wouldn't you?"
Vader knew that everything his wife's spirit had told him were true, it is time to let go of the dark energy, his burning hatred and desire of controlling the galaxy in the palm of hand, these things he realized no longer mattered to him as he took in the angel's words consoling the good man locked behind a life-sustaining suit of armour and allow the beauty and wonders of this night enrapture him with the joy of a winters Celebration, for once not as Vader but through the eyes of a young man who valued the wonders of life around him who dreamed of reaching the stars a little boy, many years ago.
"No…Padme my love." He replied quietly, "to be happy is what she would have wanted me to be so, I failed her before now I would more than anything make this night one where I will let her know I am still her son, you know I would have given my own life for her, as well as yours."
"You will always be my Annie." Said Padme.
Her arms had outstretched to either side and the ghostly wings rose gloriously as though she were ready for flight, pearly white as a swan's as feathers gleamed in the moonlight.
Her time was slipping by and for once, before she was completely defabricated from Vader's view, she reached out an almost non-visible, small delicate hand, which reached outwards toward the gloved one of her man-machine made husband's.
He may not have felt her very touch but he swore to himself again of the same warming essence of the crystals and of his wife's presence, to feel that very sensation awakened him with a glowing light, both magical and wonderful at the same time.
Reviving him from the misery he followed, his senses, after a long time he had never felt such a wonderful feeling to be close to a woman he loved beyond words, to be loved by this woman even in death, Padme Amidala Skywalker.
Once again after all these years of serving his master alone by his side, only now Palpatine did not matter to him, the entire Empire did not matter, they were nothing compared to this very moment he was in.
Seeing Padme for one last time had been a wish granted in some wondrous way, and he secretly thanked and blessed the heaven's above for it, to hear her words once more was everything he needed more than anything and her light did happen to enlighten Vader banishing his dark mood to either side.
"You mean everything to me Padme, and I never forgave myself the day I lost you from hurting you badly, it had been unforgivable I'm sorry."
"Annie," the angel reassured him lovingly, "Don't live entirely in self pity, it will dominate your life, you know we have shared so many wonderful memories, your mother was not able to break the barrier to the living world but she entrusted me to speak to your of how much she missed you and had always kept you in her heart, and no matter what happens she will always love you she wanted me to tell you this."
"Padme, Vader spoke gently, "tell my mother I love her, I have always loved her,"
" I know Anakin, I will tell her and she knows how much you've missed her."
"I love you, my angel"
"Remember this night, remember who you really are, never forget I am yours, in life and in death I truly, deeply love you as well.
Goodbye my love." Padme's voice echoed throughout the cave for the very last time.
"Goodbye…"
A sudden gust of wind and snowflakes caught the last flickering, beautiful image of Padme, smiling to her love for the last time, and like the ripples that muddle's a person's reflection she vanished from sight completely as the icy wind howled into the open crevice in the cave above, leaving in the place cold and empty.
The light that had once filled the cave entirely had burnt out like a candle-flame except for the single beam of moonlight that shone where the angel of Padme had once took place.
That could not have been a dream. Could it?"
Many minutes in what seemed like hours or even a lifetime to Vader had passed.
He forever stood in that very spot gazing at the very spot were the ghost of his lost love had appeared, so suddenly and miraculously before him on this very night, leaving him utmost stunned and dazed altogether, but now he was able to reflect for the one time in his life.
Finally Vader awakened himself back to reality, being left on his own but with his wife's ethereal voice that spoke to him, echoing in his mind as though he had just risen from peaceful slumber. He then noticed in his hand the little-sapphire star jewel that as it had been told to him, "his gift" from his beloved wife's angel.
It was then he realized it had not been all a dream.
I want you to be happy my love.
Suddenly Vader began to experience the emotions breaking through from their shell. Now he felt like he wanted to laugh, to cry, shout and dance all at once, as the those golden feelings of the light made him feel joyful and wanted more than anything to fulfil his wife's wish to him, to make this night a happy one to remember.
"I will remember you always, Padme."
He now recalled that this celebration he once experienced, as a small child was a truly happy moment, one in which Vader had secretly yearned to rekindle once more all these years, as he dwelt in shadow.
Being here on this planet of snow under a sky sea of stars, seeing again the beautiful angelic face of Padme, her form being so visibly real, Vader can almost swear he could feel her very touch as she stood before him as an angel of the heavens.
This, he thought had to be the one moment in his whole adult life he had felt he were Anakin Skywalker again. He believed it so when he looked down at the little gift his angel had given him, he seemed to have woken up to the fact she had loved him always beyond that of the living and that he hadn't lost her forever.
In spite of what he had inflicted upon her before, before he became a Dark Lord of the Sith he had lived in nothing but seething and despair, as he bore this title it had been like a curse to him, his curse.
Vader knew he could not surpass the guilt that held him down after hearing those words of his wife's spirit being spoken to him, yet they continued to echo softly trying to lift that weight and allow the spirit of the festive season fill him like the warm glow of an angel's light.
Her gift had been the most wonderful beyond words, now he wanted to do the same in return.
He knew he could never see her again, but an idea struck him as he recalled himself vowing to remember this night for as long as he lives.
Vader then ignited the crimson blade of his lightsaber and began to carefully melt away certain areas of the nearest block of ice that stood as nearly as tall as Vader, and continued to carve away using the heat of his blade against the ice like a skilled ice-sculptor- into place a memory awakened in his mind, after being locked away for so many years it had finally emerged forth and was free.
Vader began to revive that sense of feeling as he had once felt the soft skin of Padme as he closed his eyes and inhaled the sweet, fragrant scent of her.
In a beautiful garden overlooking a vast, glistening lake and majestic mountains stretching across the landscape Vader awakened to find himself as a young man on a central island on a warm day, looking across the balstrade that reached outwards across the magnificent view.
He had been able to remember the very words Padme had spoken to him as he remembered falling into a lost dream.
"There was a very old man who lived on that island over there." She told him as he pointed out the very island for him to see. "Some people say that he used to make glass out of sand, vases and necklaces too out of the glass.
You could look into the glass and see the water. The way it ripples and moves, it looked so real…but it wasn't."
Her voice seemed to echo across time and space dreamily.
"Sometimes when you believe something is real it becomes real." Vader recalled his words speaking back to her, feeling the intensity he used in his voice, remembering how very nervous he was being with the woman he loved.
The way he looked at her, before the very first time their lips would meet, in a moment of deep passion, beginning that decent into the glass loosing himself in her beauty and warmth.
The very moment that shared the same feeling he had experienced now, a feeling he wanted to remember her by.
After another long hours of perfecting the ice block into a sculpture, with every little detail Vader had completed his work. Deactivating his sabre he gazed upon his most wondrous piece of work he had ever created in a long time.
It was though he was gazing at an exact replication of his Padme as the angel he saw before him, carefully shaped by lightsaber from ice, but not too much heat form the close contact from the blade whilst moulding around nooks and areas so that it does not end up out of place. Gazing upon this masterpiece Vader found he could find a place here, where is memories of this night will be safe and by keeping that memory alive of her appearing before him again and of the good times of his past.
A precious moment cherished in snow.
The ice sculpture was an angelic woman with wings with wings that were raised above it's crown, capturing the immortal beauty of how she appeared before Vader, it's hands were raised at either side as if dancing in the falling snow whilst bathed in moonlight.
On a slab of stone, which lay beneath the ice sculpture, words had been engraved by Vader's, sabre, which was written,
To Padme Amidala Skywalker, beloved wife, mother, Queen and Senator, may the angels watch over you and that someday we will be together.
YOUR ANAKIN AKYWALKER-
This is his gift to her as he gave her the Star jewel.
It was from this night onwards on every year's end during a winter's Celebration did Vader return in secret to this exact place in the ice-riddled cavern on Ilum would he come to pray for his love, paying his respects and having his own private celebration by using the ice monument of Padme he sculpted to preserve the memory of that very day on the planet she had appeared. Vader could never find it in his heart to run away from that place and forever burying his past, as he remembered her words spoken to him after all these years, that he should remember those times that made him a person full of emotions of joy and wonder, it had been a night that had brought him such happiness and he had never felt such emotions so wonderful, so indescribable that his anger was held at bay and it kept him going strong as he had ever been as a man, not a machine, a man called Skywalker.
The Oceans Power, the heavenly sights,
Cannot outweigh a love-filled heart.
And sparkling stars of glowing pearls
Pale as love flashes beams and darts.
(Of Pearls and Stars)- A Poem by Heinrich Heine.
THE END