Title: To Extricate Myself
From the Song: Medication by Garbage (PERFECT song for Lia!)
Pairing: (Friendship) Elijah/Lia
Rating: T (Strong T for Dark Themes)
Disclaimer: I don't own Wintergirls, the absolutely AMAZING (my favorite author) Laurie Halse Anderson does!
Summary: What if Elijah hadn't left Lia at the end of the book? What if he agreed to take her to Mexico with him? Would he be able to help this wintergirl? And more importantly, can she help herself?
A/N: I obviously can't write as good and poetic as Laure Halse Anderson and this isn't one of those "How I thought the ending should have been" stories. I think the REAL ending was perfect; this is just a "What If" type of thing. :)
Lyrics for Medication:
I don't need an education
I learnt all I need from you
They've got me on some medication
My point of balance was askew
It keeps my temperature from rising
My blood is pumping through my veins
Somebody get me out of here
I'm tearing at myself
Nobody gives a damn about me or anybody else
I wear myself out in the morning
You're asleep when I get home
Please don't call me self defending
You know it cuts me to the bone
And it's really not surprising
I hold a force I can't contain
And still you call me co-dependent
Somehow you lay the blame on me
And still you call me co-dependent
Somehow you lay the blame on me
Somebody get me out of here
I'm tearing at myself
I've got to make a point these days
To extricate myself
Chapter 1
Elijah is sitting at the tiny table by the window, cigarette in his mouth, the flickering shadows from the television lighting his face. He shuffles cards once, twice, three times. Deals a hand. Puts it back in the deck and shuffles again – once, twice, three times. His sleeves are rolled up to his biceps. The man/monster tattoo on his forearm glows brighter than the end of the cigarette. Smoke rises from his skin and hangs above his head like it's on fire. Elijah becomes the monster in the skin or the monster becomes Elijah; they switch back and forth as fast as the cards being dealt on the table: flash, flash, flash.
My eyes fade to black.
"Lia?" Someone shakes my shoulder lightly. "Lia?"
"No, Emma." I wave my hand.
"Lia? It's Elijah?"
I open my eyes groggily. It feels as though I have taken the New Seasons medication – the one that makes fog wrap around my brain. "What time is it?" I mumble.
"A little after noon."
I sat up, slowly, waiting for the black dots in front of my eyes to disappear. Elijah steps back to give me room, making the sunlight he was blocking pour into my eyes. I put a hand up to shield my face. I look at him.
"Why are you covered in snow?" It was true; his jeans and black boots were covers in partly melted snow and ice and little snowflakes were collected in his black hair. He was also shivering.
"I just finished shoveling."
A wave of guilt washes over me. "You should have woken me up sooner. I would have helped." Slowly, I stood up, the pain from the stitches in my torso tearing through me.
He shrugs. "Don't worry about it. There was only one shovel, anyway. Here." He hands me the coat and mittens he hung on the bathtub last night. I put them on, shivering at the sudden cold of them over my body. They'd warm up soon. Maybe.
I looked around the sunlit room. "You packed already?"
He nodded. "Why didn't you bring anything?"
"I did." I pointed to my purse and knitting needles and my scarf/shawl/blanket thing.
Elijah shakes his head. "I meant clothes."
"Uh…I didn't really have time."
"Huh?"
"I took a cab from my shrink's office to the bank, pizza place and then to here, okay?" I confessed, irritated by his sudden interest.
He was silent for a minute, and then he shrugged. "Alright. Ready to go?"
I nodded. I picked up my stuff, grabbed a few of Elijah's garbage bags and follow him out the door. We get to his car and put everything in the trunk. The car was already started, so when I climbed in the passenger seat, I was happy with the warmth. Elijah climbed in and shifted it into drive, and we were off.
We must have driven for miles before he broke the silence.
"Hungry?"
I shook my head no before thinking. It happens automatically now. My stomach erupted with noise and he laughed.
"That's not what your body's saying."
I almost protested until I remembered our deal last night.
"You have to eat enough to keep from passing out or dying."
Elijah pulled into a Quick Trip and stepped out of the car, obviously waiting for me to follow. I got out and shivered. We walked in the convenient store. It smelled like coffee and bleach.
He immediately walked over to the doughnuts and picked up a small box. I walked over to the coffee machine at the far end of the store.
"Elijah?" I asked. He turned to look at me. I pointed to the machine.
"Black." He said.
I walked over to the counter and put two to-go cups with coffee on it. Both black. Elijah walked behind me and set the box down. I looked up at the cashier, a young woman, maybe around 22 with brown hair and green eyes. BMI-29. Maybe 28.
I reach for my wallet in my purse but Elijah's hand comes out from behind me, handing the girl a 20. She gives him his change and I grab the coffee, he grabs the doughnuts and we walk out to the car. He drives and eats at the same time and I sip my coffee apprehensively.
He glances at me and raises an eyebrow. We had a deal, missy. He's thinking.
I pick up one doughnut (293) and nibble on it. I wish I had a knife, or at least a fork to cut it with. It would make this easier on me. He finishes his first doughnut and turns on his radio. Soft Rock comes through the speakers. He turns it up some.
By the time I am half-way finished with my doughnut, he's already had three and drank all of his coffee. He's apparently saving the last one for me.
Funny, Elijah. But it's not happening.