Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note it belongs to its respective owner.

This fic is what i think really would have happened after Sayu was saved from Mello. Warning contains suicide hints of rape, abuse and incest. Sorry about my other fic Wonderland I've had writers block and I was hoping this would get my creative juices flowing.

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It'd been days since she had heard from them it was like she was invisible. They were supposed to be her friends, but she never felt comfortable around them and they were always putting her down. Some times it was enough to make her want to scream or cry or do something, but she never did.

She was tired of playing the same old role day after day. It was painfully repetitive and she wanted some thing new. She tried to push these thoughts to the back of her mind, to hide them in the dusty nooks and crannies of her numb brain. She forced a smile and left her room. She walked down the hall and into the bathroom.

'A shower will clear my head' she thought as she stripped and got under the stream of steaming water. 'Why does it always happen like this?' she thought to herself. They said they were her friends, but they weren't her friends. They were nothing, they had used her and she had let them. 'I must be really pathetic' she laughed a little.

In a way she always knew she was pathetic, weak, useable, and in a way it didn't bother her anymore. She smiled, it was funny how things worked out some times. It was funny how one person could turn your whole upside down. She slid down to her knees and put the stopper in the drain. She laid back and started to read the label on the bottle in her right hand. The bottle had pills in it pills she had taken just minutes ago.

The label said to only take two, she had taken five, and she was starting to feel the effects. Her eyes felt heavy and her body felt numb. She laughed a little as she slid down into the water, and slowly slid the stake knife across her wrist in a downward motion. Her head was spinning and she felt so tired, that she closed her eyes. As her eyes closed she felt her body go cold and she smiled because it was finally over.

8:30 the next morning

Her mother walked into the bathroom upon hearing the shower. As she stepped in she felt water running over her feet. Her eyes grew wide as she ran to the shower and threw open the glass sliding door. "No, no, no please not my baby!" She let out a terrified scream and reached into the bathtub grabbing the cold blue corpse that was her daughter. Two men ran into the bathroom one a teen the other in his forties both looking grogy, until they saw what was happening. There in the middle of the floor, sitting in murky red water was Sachiko Yagami. In her arms she held Sayu. Sweet, innocent, loving Sayu, Sayu who now had slit wrist, glazed over eyes, and cold, blue skin.

Later that day

Light Yagami was sitting in his sisters room crying silently. While he read a note she had left on her desk.

To who ever finds this know that I didn't kill myself because of lack of love from my friends and family or that I was unhappy. I loved you all very much and I know you loved me, but the fact was I couldn't live with myself. Every time I close my eyes all I see is him. He has haunted every waking minute of my life since the day I returned home.

By killing myself I did not hope to cause others pain, instead I hoped to rid myself of the demon that is Mello. Riding my memory of all the nights i spent naked under him or his funky Matt. It may seem selfish and cruel, but know that the real moment my life had ended was the moment he first touched me. I'm sorry and I hope that you can forgive me, but I understand that you cannot.

love, Sayu

Light kept reading the letter until he fell into a land sleep. Where he would dream of all the times he spent with his beloved sister and lover.

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Thanx for reading review please.