All right, this is the first chapter of my KakuXHida story. This is part of a series called Illegally In Love. SOOO, I hope you either read that one first (or what I have written of it so far) or at least know the basics... Like, there are five major gangs, including the police force. There's The Akatsuki, Sound, Jiraiya's gang (I haven't named it just yet) and Hashirama's gang, which I haven't named either. :D Soooo... Yes. ^^
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Kishimoto's characters, people! But I own the plot of this fanfiction. o3o
CONTAINS: Violence, blood, gore, gambling, alcohol, yaoi, shounen-ai, some fluff, love, romance, naughty language!
A/N: There's no point in saying this over and over again, but there is OOC in this... Especially since I've not OFFICIALLY met Hidan or Kakuzu in the anime, only in the manga.... -headdesk-
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Chapter One: Smog Filled Morning
The loud sounds of guns firing and cats meowing, people next door shouting and smoking wavering in through the window. It was just an ordinary day for Hidan. He rolled over on his mattress, covering his head with his pillow, groaning into the mattress. He'd forgotten, again, to close his window. He finally forced himself out of bed. He walked up to the window in only a pair of black boxers.
"Shut your damn mouths! People are trying to sleep in here!" Hidan shouted out the window, then slammed it shut just as an empty can hit the windowsill. Hidan twitched, then bent down, grabbing an empty beer bottle from his stash and threw it out the window. He didn't stick around to see if he hit his target. Instead, he turned around and picked up a pair of black jeans. He slipped into them, then grabbed a military-style jacket and put it on. He walked out of his crappy, one room apartment, slamming the door shut behind him.
"Hey, hey, hey! Hidan!" Hidan rolled his eyes and turned around to face his landlady. She was a stubby, fat, old hag with several missing teeth and horrible wrinkles. It was ladies like her that made Hidan glad he was gay.
"Hidan, you owe me yo rent, boy!" She snapped in her fake Spanish accent. Hidan stared at her for a moment past sleepy pink eyes, then shrugged, turning around.
"Give to ya tonight!"
"Hidan, you said that last week, yo hear me, boy?!"
"Yea, yea! I promise!"
"Yo not even listenin' to me, boy!" Her voice faded as Hidan walked down the stairs and headed outside into the cold, winter air. He hated his landlord, his apartment... And his neighborhood. He turned and headed down the street, scratching the back of his head. He kept walking, ignoring the people in the alley outside his apartment. He was heading down the street, only a few blocks from the Akatsuki's Club, which was owned by the gang's co-leader, Pein. Hidan stopped at a corner as cars drove by. Hidan sighed, tilting his head to the side in boredom. He normally brought something with him to occupy him while he walked, like his MP3 player or something, but he had to sell some things to pay for his rent. He was going to lose his apartment if he didn't pay Miss. Fakey Accent. Hidan laughed at the nickname he gave her as he crossed the street. I'm such a nice person sometimes, I surprise myself. Hidan thought with a dangerous smirk. He glanced out the corner of his eye at the electronics store on the corner of the street. He was half tempted to call Itachi and ask him to bag him something, but he'd almost forgotten... Itachi was still recovering from a bullet wound at home from the accident a few weeks ago with Madara. Hidan hadn't seen his leader go that nuts since said little Uchiha was kidnapped. Hidan stopped outside the club, then pushed the door, going inside. It was still empty, not opening until evening time. The busiest time of the day.
Konan, the bartender, looked up as soon as Hidan walked in the door. She smiled, waving at him.
"Hey, Hidan. What's up?" She asked. Hidan sat on a barstool, spinning around a bit and smirking.
"Not much~ Still havin' problems with the old bag, Miss. Fakey Accent." He replied, then leaned on the counter. Konan sighed.
"Aren't you TRYING to get money to pay for your rent? You know, Pein doesn't like it when you stay the night here... You always get drunk." She added. Hidan pouted, leaning on his knuckles.
"I do not."
"Liar. You don't hold too much alcohol all that well."
"I do to!"
"Do not. You get drunk after four bottles and then you get sick."
"Not all the time..."
"Pfft." Konan turned away and went back to cleaning the shot glasses. Hidan stared at her back for a while, then beamed.
"Can I have a drink?" He asked. Konan glared at him.
"What did I just get done telling you?!" She barked. Hidan yelped.
"No need to get all bitchy on me! I was only asking!"
"Hmph!"
"Fine, I'll get it myself." Hidan huffed, spinning off his barstool and jumping down. He walked around back, taking out a cold bottle of beer. He stood up, leaning against the wall as he popped the top off with his teeth. He spit the cap out and chugged it. The sound of the front doors opening put Hidan on alert.
"Oh, Kakuzu! Glad you're here. I didn't want to be left along with the drunk." Konan's voice was saying.
"Drunk? Hidan's here then..."
"Yea. He's around back." Konan said. Hidan spit some of the beer out and looked hurriedly for a hiding spot. He wasn't in the mood to face Kakuzu, especially after their short kiss in the alleyway when they were rescuing Itachi. He ducked into a corner of the room between the wall and the fridge. He held his breath, listening to Kakuzu's boots hit the cement floor of the backroom. Hidan frowned. God... Why is he looking for me? I'm still feeling stupid for embarrassing myself in front of him! I totally spazzed cuz I thought he was shot... I'm an idiot. He thought bitterly, taking a sip of beer and closing his eyes.
"Hidan?" Hidan spewed the beer out. Kakuzu glared at him, the beer dripping from his face and hair. Hidan sweat dropped.
"Oh, uh... Hey, Kakuzu..."
"What the Hell are you doing back there?"
"Getting drunk?"
"Why am I not surprised... Come on, get out of there." Kakuzu sighed, taking Hidan's hand and pulling hard. Hidan stumbled a bit and grabbed the sleeve of Kakuzu's jacket sleeve. He winced, unable to stop the crimson from crossing his face as he found himself leaning on Kakuzu's chest. He quickly pulled away, pushing Kakuzu back.
"Cut it out! I could've gotten out myself!" Hidan snapped. Kakuzu shrugged.
"Fine... You could've said that before I helped you." He replied dryly. Hidan scowled.
"Whatever..." He turned around, taking a sip of the beer and heading toward the exit. Kakuzu caught his wrist.
"Hidan, wait..."
"What?"
"Why're you acting weird around me? Is it because of what happened on our 'rescue Itachi heist'?" Kakuzu asked curiously, trying to maintain eye contact with Hidan, who kept averting his eyes to the bottle of beer in his hand.
"No. I just think you're weird is all." Hidan replied flatly, looking at him past lazy eyelids. Kakuzu frowned and let him go.
"Sorry for being so weird, then... Look who's talking, you fucking masochist."
"You're a fucking sadist!"
"..." Kakuzu seemed to be thinking about what Hidan had just said. He's a masochist and I'm a sadist... He thought, finding it to be all too convenient. Hidan turned away from him again.
"'Sides, stitch-face, I'm more normal... Er than you are." Hidan said, walking into the dance room. Kakuzu glared.
"Oh? Is that why you said normaler, which isn't even a fucking word?!" He demanded angrily. Hidan sweated.
"... It's not a word?"
"That's why you should go back to school, stupid!"
"I am not stupid! Normaler is too a word! I'll prove it to you! Where's that book?! That dictionary?!" Hidan demanded loudly. Konan glared at him now.
"Quit shouting! You know, this is Pein's club! He sleeps here!" She snapped.
"Who cares?" Hidan asked, taking a sip of beer. Suddenly, a pillow flew out of nowhere, knocking the beer from Hidan's hand and across the room. Hidan twitched and looked up at the balcony that over looked the entire club. Pein was glaring down at him, his piercings flickering in the dim lights.
"I CARE. Shut your trap, Hidan!" He snapped.
"Do the world a favor and go back to school." Kakuzu muttered. Hidan scowled at him.
"I don't need to go to school! Besides, I'm too old it!"
"Actually, no, you're not, Hidan..." Konan muttered. Hidan rolled his eyes and headed to the doors.
"FINE. Forget you guys! I'll just home!" He shouted and walked out the door angrily, slamming them shut behind him. He headed down the street, shoving his hands in his pockets. I'm not stupid! I'm not going back to school either! I don't fucking need to! Jashin, everything here sucks... He thought bitterly as he headed to his apartment. He walked up the stairs and started to his room, but his landlady coughed and cleared her throat on purpose to grab his attention.
"Whaaat?! What'd ya want?!" Hidan demanded at her. She pursed her lips and snapped her fingers at him.
"Yoz got two hours to get outta here!"
"What're you talking about?! I told you I'd pay you back tonight!"
"No way, boy! I know yo're lyin'! You always do! Yoz get your shit and be out in two hours or I'm callin' the fuzz, got it, boy?!"
"Fine, fatass! I didn't like living here anyway! And your accent's faker than your hair!" Hidan stormed into his apartment, leaving his landlady red and gaping at him. He reeled his foot back and kicked the mattress, knocking it across the room and smashing into the wall. Hidan grabbed the lamp on the nightstand and threw it at the wall in a shower of sparks. He kicked the nightstand angrily, then gripped the door handle tightly, breathing hard. Damn it! Where am I supposed to go now?! I don't have anywhere else to go.... Hidan stopped in realization. He didn't have anywhere to go. It was obviously Pein wasn't going to let him stay at the club. Nobody liked him enough to let him come to their homes either. Hidan sighed, frustrated as he leaned on the door, sliding down onto his bottom. I can't do this... Ugh, this is so hard... How am I gonna find a place to stay? I need money... Really badly... He thought, then leaned his head on his knees, trying to conjure up a plan to get money. Coming up with nothing after thirty minutes, Hidan looked around his room to see if there was anything worth dragging with him. Nothing, but beer bottles, old porno magazines, pictures of him and the gang a while back before everything was turned upside down, and Hidan's certificate that proved he'd had permission to drop out of school. Hidan got up and turned around, throwing the door open and walking out. He walked out the apartment, after leaving a note that said there was nothing for him to take. He headed down the street to the park.
"Shit." Hidan cursed as a big, fat, wet drop of rain hit his nose. He looked up as more rain began to shower down on top of him. He sighed and walked to the park, ignoring the rain as it seemed to make his clothes hang on him, making him feel heavier. Finally, Hidan managed to drop himself on a park bench. Hidan sighed, contentedly. It felt just like his mattress anyway...
Hidan woke up when something cold hit his nose. He crinkled his nose, then peeked an eye open. He stared. He couldn't remember falling asleep, but he must have been asleep for a while because the rain from the morning before had turned to ice... Snow. A white sheet of snow was falling on the wet pavement, melting. Some of it stayed in ugly gray lumps on the side of the road. Hidan sat up, brushing off the cold white flakes. He stood up slowly, wincing as his bones ached. He frowned, then looked down, crossing his eyes as puffs of air came from his mouth. He brought his hands to his mouth and huffed on them, letting the pink fingertips burn. Hidan shivered a bit, wishing he'd grabbed a shirt. All he wore were his jeans, sneakers, and his jacket, with no shirt under it. He thought about heading to the club... He may not be welcomed, but if he explained, maybe they'd let him stay until he got a job. Hidan jogged to the club, hoping the movement would keep him warm. Which it did, mostly. Hidan went around back, instead of the front. Maybe he'd sneak in first. He reached out to open the back door, but stopped to sneeze. He covered his nose, feeling it run. He made a face.
"Gross..." He muttered, then wiped his nose on the back of his hand, shaking the snot off his hand. He quickly opened the door and slipped inside quietly. The club was pounding with music. Good, easier to hide. He thought, then hurried to the opening that led to the dance room. He peeked out. Kisame, as usual, was sitting at the bar with Konan. People crowded at the dance floor, dancing and drinking. Hidan longed for money so he could have that much fun, but he knew it was just a fake dream. He ducked to the side as someone passed by the opening. He slid down on his bottom, his back against the wall. He brought his knees to his chest and hugged them close. He huffed. This is stupid... I'm acting like a little rat that needs a home... What I need is a drink and maybe a knife. He thought, looking around the storage room. There was nothing, but a couple of old couches and tons of boxes of alcohol. Hidan sighed, then gasped, covering his nose. A tingling sensation was growing in his nose, causing him to want to sneeze. He held his breath, keeping his hands over his nose. He slowly pulled his hands away...
"ACHOOOO!" Hidan sniffed at the snot that was running down his nose. He listened. No one seemed to have heard him. Hidan sniffed again, making a shnuck noise. He coughed into his knees, then groaned quietly. Crap... I've got a cold... I need cold medicine... He thought, then peeked out into the dance room. Maybe I can get Kakuzu to help me...? No, no way... He probably hates me right now... He sighed, leaning back against the wall. Hidan sniffed again. His nose felt like it was getting stuffer than it was before. He grumbled under his breath, noting how his nose was turning a slight pink, like his fingertips... Or his eyes. Hidan scowled to himself, shutting his eyes as the congestion seemed to cause him a horrible headache. This time, he groaned louder than before, hoping someone would stop and offer him help. However, the person who stopped by was someone Hidan was regretting.
"Hidan? I thought you left." Kakuzu said, standing in the doorway. Hidan gasped, jumping a bit, but stayed seated. He buried his face in his knees.
"I need you to take me somewhere..." He grumbled. Kakuzu raised an eyebrow and got on his hunches.
"Hm? I can't hear you. Lift up your face."
"Mm mm." Hidan shook his head, keeping his face hidden. Kakuzu frowned.
"Fine, then. I won't help you." He said, getting up. Hidan grabbed his arm and pulled him back down so he was sitting by him. Hidan lifted his face up a bit, keeping his eyes downcast.
"I need you to take me to the general store."
"Whoa... Hidan, are you all right? Your nose is pink... And you sound congested." Kakuzu noted, looking at Hidan with real concern. Hidan sniffed again to stop snot from trailing from his nose. He was already embarrassed enough. He didn't need a stream of snot hanging from his nose.
"I need some cold medicine..."
"What happened? Were you outside? You know, it's below twenty degrees..."
"I know that! Look, I was kicked out of my apartment and I had to sleep in the park- Achoo!" Hidan gasped and gripped the side of his head, groaning. Kakuzu sighed.
"All right, all right. I'll give you a ride to the general store and drive you back. I'll see what I can do... My apartment's not too big, but I guess I can sleep on the couch." He explained. Hidan looked at him.
"What? I never asked to stay-"
"I know, but you can't sleep on a park bench all your life. I'll help you out, just grab a Kleenex before you spew snot everywhere." Kakuzu stated. Hidan laughed a bit.
"Thanks..."
"Oh, don't get sappy on me, Hidan. Come on. Up ya go." Kakuzu helped Hidan to his feet and they walked out the back door and to Kakuzu's small black car. Hidan got in the passenger seat, folding his arms tightly over his chest as his breath came out in clouds. Kakuzu started to drive down the street. He glanced at Hidan, then rolled his eyes.
"Masochist my ass. If you can't stand the cold, what makes you think you can stand getting hit or shot or something?" He asked. Hidan sneezed, then glared at him, a hand under his nose.
"Being sick and getting hit are two totally different things, moron!"
"Look who's talking..." Kakuzu replied as he pulled up to the general store. Hidan huffed and leaned back in the seat. Kakuzu opened the door, getting out.
"Don't hotwire this thing or I'll shoot your face in." He warned, shutting the door and heading to the store. Hidan smirked to himself, then looked at the panel under the wheel, then back at the store. He snuggled down in the seat, curling up to keep himself warm. Even with the heater on, he wasn't feeling all that warm. He needed to be close to something. Someone-Wait, what? Hidan hit his head on the window.
"You'll get brain damage doing that." Kakuzu said, getting in and tossing a bottle of cold medicine at him. Hidan scowled, then looked at the bottle, making a face.
"Yuck... You got the syrup."
"It was the only one on sale."
"You cheap bastard."
"Shut up, Hidan."
"Eww, and it's grape too."
"I could've gotten cherry."
"Ew, ew, ew, no thank you. Glad you got grape." Hidan muttered and tore the cap off. He didn't bother to measure the syrup and gulped it down. He smacked his lips together and flicked his tongue out a few times, almost as if he had hair on his tongue.
"What?" Kakuzu asked as he drove back to the club. Hidan stuck his tongue and stuck his finger in his mouth.
"Yuuuuck."
"You're such a child."
"You're a child!"
"You're the one who's sick."
"You're sick!"
"... Hidan, shut up... That has robitussin in it. It'll make you a little drowsy."
"Are you trying to drug me?!" Hidan cried. Kakuzu rolled his eyes as he pulled up to the club.
"Hidan, quit it." He said, then opened up Hidan's door, then glared at him. Hidan had just finished off the rest of the cold syrup. Kakuzu grabbed Hidan's arm, jerking him out and making him drop the bottle on the ground. He easily pulled Hidan up into his arms. It would have been bridal style, if Hidan had of twisted around, causing Kakuzu to be holding him somewhat upside down.
"Idiot." Kakuzu muttered as he carried Hidan to the club. Hidan groaned.
"I don't feel good."
"You shouldn't of drank all that shit, idiot! Jesus Christ, what's wrong with you?" Kakuzu muttered. Hidan huffed.
"There's no such thing as Jesus." He mumbled. Kakuzu shook his head and carried Hidan up the stairs, thankfully avoiding any Akatsuki members. He snuck into a room, dropping Hidan onto the bed. Hidan gasped a bit in surprise, then looked around.
"Mmm... This bed's warm..." He murmured, cuddling in the blankets. Kakuzu sighed, rubbing his temples.
"You're such an idiot... Look, take off your clothes. They're all wet from the snow. I'll go get you a spare change."
"Uh huh." Hidan replied absentmindedly as Kakuzu left. Hidan finally sat up, feeling a bit dizzy from the medicine. He pulled off his jacket, tossing it on the floor uncaringly. He did the same with his pants, then stopped at his boxers. Did Kakuzu want him to take those off too? Hidan looked around, then shrugged. He pulled his boxers off, then gasped at how cold it was. He pulled the blankets over himself, tossing his boxers to the floor. He curled up in the blankets, frowning a bit. Jashin... I should probably find a job... Great. I hate working! He thought with an angry huff, then sneezed again and mentally cursed Kakuzu for not getting enough cold syrup. Soon, Hidan was drifting off to sleep. Kakuzu came back with a change of clothes, then found Hidan asleep on the bed. He sighed and walked over, dropping the clothes on the nightstand. He turned to go, but Hidan groaned in his sleep.
"I'm not going back to school..." Kakuzu glanced over his shoulder. Hidan was still asleep... He talks in his sleep? He thought, finding the situation amusing. He carefully sat on the bed, listening as Hidan mumbled. Some sentences coherent, other's sounding like a foreign language.
"... Mngh, hate teachers... damn paper... Fluckighewr... Mlufglr... Sooo cold... Kuzuuu... more syrup..." Kakuzu didn't know if he was faking or not now. He reached out, nudging Hidan's cheek with his knuckles.
"Hidan?" He asked. No response, Hidan didn't even twitch. He was still fast asleep. It's the medicine... It's probably making him have weird dreams. He thought, shaking his head.
"Kuzu- OH JASHIN!" Hidan shot up in bed, making Kakuzu jump back in surprise. Hidan was flushed now, sweat trailing down his body. Kakuzu stared at him for a minute.
"Hidan, are you all right?" He asked, although, he found it extremely awkward that Hidan was looking like this. God... Oh Jesus, that's not good... Kakuzu thought when he felt his jeans become uncomfortably tight. Hidan seemed to have the same problem. Hidan was staring at Kakuzu, keeping himself barely propped up with his hand. Only his sweaty chest and a bit of his stomach were revealed under the blankets. Hidan knew he wasn't sweating because he was still sick... Ohhh... Jashin... I need to get rid of my problem in the basement, damn it! He thought, wiggling a bit to hide even more under the blankets. He turned his back on Kakuzu, curling up.
"Sorry... Just... A bad dream." More like naughty. Hidan thought with a cringe. Kakuzu looked at him for a while, debating whether he should ask or not... It was probably best not two for two reasons. A) Hidan could get nasty with him and just keep him guessing. And B) His hard on was just too much. He had to relieve himself somehow.
"All right... I'll let you sleep I have to go help Konan. I'll be back later." Kakuzu said, getting up quickly and leave. Hidan sighed with relief when he heard the door close. That was close... He thought.
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A/N: For those of you who don't know, in the other story while Hidan, Kakuzu, and Deidara went to rescue Itachi, Kakuzu kissed Hidan before he went to risk himself to let them escape, sine they're the three youngest Akatsuki members. Hidan yelled at him after he returned, safe and unharmed. Hidan thought it was embarrassing for doing that, so he tried to avoid Kakuzu.... ANYWAY, yes, there is OOC. I don't particularly like the cute Hidan, but... I don't know how I'm going to write a masochistic Hidan, but I'm working on it. :D I hope you're enjoying this!