Writer's Note: Ah, Amelia Seyroon, you're always trying to get me to write some girl-love fics for you. And then you go ahead and make me think about these two often overlooked girls, and a whole fic pops up because of it. So, while it sounds like I'm blaming you, I'm actually thanking you. =P
Writer's Note: Occurs during Books Two and Three and contains heavy spoilers.
The first thing that Song learned about travel was that it was awful.
It was tiring, dirty, and lonesome. It was time spent hungry and thirsty and not knowing when your next meal was. It was having to pay ridiculous prices for horrific rooms that reeked of mouse-cat droppings and lacked anything resembling a pillow.
It was even worse when people learned she was a healer, and they always had to ask if she could please help them in some way. Never mind the fact that she was alone, not completely trained, and trying to catch up to someone on the way.
Song was the type of person who liked helping people. You couldn't be a good healer and not want to help people. But even someone with her temperament has a limit.
Therefore, it was a relief when she made it to the ferry docks. She had been following rumours along the road, asking questions about Li, describing his most distinct features and the fact that he was riding an ostrich-horse (she still burned a little with hurt from that). Li's face was an easy one to remember, and several people were eager to tell her that they had not only seen him, but that she should stay away.
Song respected that. She also knew that some journeys are meant to be undertaken, even if it meant being hurt.
"He left?"
Jin's face fell, feeling her heart drop right down to her feet. Pao nodded, looking like he was a second away from bursting into tears. "Yes. He and his uncle just handed in their aprons and left."
"But why?" she wondered, her hands clenched in front of her.
Pao looked away a trace evasively, as if not wanting to admit anything. "They probably thought themselves too good for the Lower Ring," he answered, picking up an empty tray and stalking into the back room.
Jin's shoulders drooped. It didn't seem fair. For the first time in a long time, she had actually been able to connect with a guy within the Lower Ring who didn't want to use her for a quick lay or a temporary cash-grab. Li had seemed like the kind of guy who was real, and she really and truly felt that he had liked her.
But he's gone. Just like that.
Jin sighed, turning to walk back out into the busy and crowded streets. It was hard to keep yourself form falling into self-pity when things looked their worst. It was hard to keep smiling when people seemed to want to slap the smile from your face.
"It's complicated…"
Too complicated to even talk to me about? Too complicated to even trust me a little? You kissed me, Li. And I know you wanted to. So why did you pull away? Why did you leave?
Ba Sing Se was rich with sickness. It was cloying and choking, full of desperation and helplessness. Fire Nation troops were everywhere. Ba Sing Se was no longer a safe haven; it, too, was swallowed by the maws of the dragon.
Song had little trouble finding work, there. She spent most of her time in the Lower Ring, lending her craft to those who needed it for food and shelter and, if they could spare it, some money as well.
Every chance she got, she asked after Li. She always got conflicted reports, mostly from people wary of sharing things that involved involvement of the Dai Li. It was frustrating. It was disconcerting. It was disheartening.
Who are you, Li? Where are you?
Song tried to keep her head up. She kept her ears open. Her hands worked hard. Her heart worked even harder.
Jin kept haunting the old teahouse. She kept trying to convince herself that it had nothing to do with Li, but of course it did. She wanted to make sure. She wanted to be there if he ever did return.
Pao found it amusing that she was holding on to such a flicker of light. But then, Pao found anything at anyone else's expense but his own amusing.
Even though he knew her motives, he never asked her to leave. She was always a good customer, despite the fact that her eyes always remained on the front door.
She stayed there as long as she could. She had to make a living somehow. But every chance she got, she took. She was tired of going home to an empty apartment. She was tired of everything being so empty.
Song was on her way to a housecall when she heard the news spoken at hushed and fearful tones.
The Avatar is dead. Ba Sing Se has fallen.
It was everywhere, on every tongue. All around her, a sea of fear and anxiety. Song stood in the middle, clutching her bag to her chest, her housecall forgotten. All she could feel was the dull thudding in her chest.
It has to be a lie... was all she could think. Hope can't die. Hope can't be dead.
But the very next day, the wall came down. And then Song knew for sure.
Jin watched, horrified, as the rows of Fire Nation troops walked through the city.
She couldn't believe it. She was born and raised in Ba Sing Se. She had always been told that things were safe. That everyone within the walls were safe. That no matter what, there was no war.
But war was here. She was watching it invade the city. She was watching it take over.
What else have I been lied to about?
The Fire Nation occupation did a number on Song's resources. She was surprised to learn that many of the townspeople were reluctant to follow the new regime, but instead of being taken to the Dai Li, they were dealt with by the Fire Nation. Even in their own city, the Dai Li's hold was slipping.
Song had been in the walls for a short time, but even she knew that the Dai Li's control was absolute. She had heard and seen enough to know this.
Seeing first had that perhaps there was a more controlling power out there shook her deeply, and she wished she could run away.
But there were injured people, and sick people. She was needed her. And a healer never looks away from the pain of others.
Jin spent most of her time in the teahouse now. Work was hard to find now that most people had to put up with the Fire Nation occupation. Pao kept it open, discovering that the troops didn't care what he served and how bad it was as long as it was hot and drinkable. His shop was more often than not filled halfway with them.
Jin watched it all, silent and wary. She couldn't remember a time that was as bleak as this.
It happened when she was sipping her last cup of tea for the day. After this, she would retreat back to her small apartment and try to sleep over the sounds of drunken soldiers making catcalls to the nightworkers, as she did every night.
The door opened, and a woman walked in, carrying what looked like a hearvy bag and wearing clothes that seemed to nice and colourful for the Lower Ring - a sort of pink and white affair that billowed. Her hair was tightly plaited and fell down her back, and her face was pale and tired. She looked around, found an empty table, and sat down, keeping a firm grip on her bag as she eyed the menu before her.
Jin's interest was sparked. The girl was clearly from outside of Ba Sing Se, and yet she seemed to know her way around. It was odd to see outsiders within the city now that the Fire Nation was here, and Jin found herself wondering if the girl had arrived before it began.
Jin wasn't the only one who noticed her. A pair of Fire Nation soldiers sitting a table away noticed her, too, and began gesturing and whispering loudly in her direction. The girl didn't so much as look up, but her fingers dug into the strap of her bag hard, so it was obvious that she knew she was the subject of interest.
She sighed, looking down into her mug. She saw every day how the troops of the occupation abused their power and made it their project to annoy the local women - and men - of the city. The more the targets protested, the more the troops got interested. It usually ended very, very badly, in violence or in tears. She was tired of seeing it happen. She was tired of the fact that it happened at all.
A shout, and Jin's head snapped up. One of the troops had gotten to his feet and now stood over the girl, who was trying to ignore him. When he had reached forward, she had slapped his hand, and he shouted out in protest. He leaned forward and tried to yell at her, but his friend got up and dragged him back to their table, muttering to him something that she didn't catch. No one else seemed to notice, but Jin saw that the girl's hands shook.
That settled it.
Jim grabbed her mug, got to her feet, and walked over. "Hi," she said cheerfully, smiling. "I'm Jin. Can I sit here? I'm bored."
The girl looked up with large brown eyes, and Jin was surprised by the amount of wariness and exhaustion that lurked in their depths. She looked confused for a moment, so Jin flicked her eyes over to the sullen troops who were still glaring over at the table. The girl reddened and nodded. "Yes," she said softly, her voice low and lovely. "Please."
Jin did so, and the girl said, "I'm Song."
They were left alone for the whole evening.
Song found herself relaxing for the first time in months. Jin saved her from being harassed, true, but it wasn't just that - the other girl was really good company, as well. Song had thought that all of the really good people had left with the occupation, but then - here was Jin.
She found herself wondering why a person like Jin was even around. What could Ba Sing Se have to offer anyone like her now that the Fire Nation was infesting it like fire-ants over a discarded lolly?
They talked long into the evening, the antagonists from the table over long forgotten in a flurry of chitchat and discussion.
"I've lived here all my life," Jin admitted with a smile, toying with her teacup's edge. "Always here in Ba Sing Se, always in the Lower Ring. My parents were poor, but happy."
Song nodded. "I lived with my mother, close to the ocean," she replied.
Jin blinked. "What made you leave? I always thought the colonies close to the ocean were spared humiliation like this," and here she waved her hand idly around the teahouse.
Song looked down at her cup. "Mostly. But war has a way of ruining everything. My father was forced to fight."
"For or against?" Jin wondered.
Song hesitated. "Against."
Jin smiled widely. "He's brave."
Song's heart warmed in a single instant, her eyes stinging with pained tears. It was still hard to think of her father, after all of this time. Her burned leg twinged a little at the thought - it always did. "Thank you."
After that one night in the teahouse, it was as if an unspoken agreement had been exchanged. Both Song and Jin found themselves gravitating towards the simple teahouse in any spare moment, and it wasn't for the tea - no matter how often Pao bragged that it was.A sort of kinship had formed between the two, despite having such different temperaments and pasts; they were united in this moment, this instance.
For Jin, it was because Song's solemn personality and melodic voice kept her calm and feeling as if things would eventually clear up, despite the turbulent outcome of Ba Sing Se. For Song, it was Jin's exuberance, her ability to find joy and excitement in the smallest of things - perhaps for even noticing those small things in the first place - and sharing her joy.
It was almost symbiotic, how they got along with each other.
Once, just once, Song gathered up the courage to ask Jin about her past. She knew it was very unsteady ground, and also suspected that by doing so, she would be ending the friendship they had, but she had to know. She had been upfront with her own past, so why shouldn't Jin?
Jin's eyes darkened considerably, which worried Song, but not for long. Jin didn't get up to leave, nor did she say anything hard or with epithets. Instead, she said, quite softly, "In my past, I did what I had to do to survive. And in my present, I still do what I have to do. When your parents die and you're left with nothing, there is very little you can do but work with what you have, Song." She looked right into Song's eyes. "You're lucky, Song. Your trade is about healing and health. Mine... not so much."
Song suddenly realised what she meant, and her cheeks burned with both embarrassment and sympathetic anger. Why should a girl like you have to live like that? she wondered, her eyes on Jin's slight form, her large eyes and uneasy smile.
"Come live with me," she blurted suddenly.
Jin looked over, her eyes suspicious. Song realised how it sounded, and she held up her hands. "No, I mean... not that way, Jin. I mean..." She sighed, looking at her hands instead. "I know that I live in the slums, and my work doesn't give me that much money, but... if you'd like, you can live with me, so that you don't have to work anymore. I don't mind."
Her words fell to silence, and she dared to look up from her hands. Jin was staring at her, her face pale, the smile gone from her lips. Her eyes were wide, and for once she looked her age. "You mean that?" she said softly, still sounding suspiciouste and wary.
Song smiled brightly. Her heart felt warm. Finally, finally, she was helping someone who deserved it - and they were accepting that help.
Jin moved in that very day. She didn't have a lot of stuff, and she noticed right away that Song wasn't lying about living in the slums. Her apartment was akin to a hole in the wall, a single room with a kitchenette and a curtain over a bucket as a privy. Even with her tiny amount of stuff it seemed like the place shrank even more.
Song didn't seem to mind much. She kept the place clean and tidy as much as possible, and even added rugs and a wall hanging to make it look almost homey. Compared to Jin's own hole in the wall, one that she couldn't keep clean or homey no matter what she tried, it was a nice and almost soothing change.
"Song?" she said softly. She was standing in the middle of the room, her eyes unfocused, but she saw the other girl raise her head from the teapot and look over. "Thank you."
Song nodded and smiled, a faint pink blush spreading upon her cheeks. Jin wondered why, but didn't ask. She had no more words.
It was easy to fall in love with Jin, Song realised. Easy, because Jin was so kind and warm, so outgoing and cheerful. She made a person feel like the centre of the universe - her universe - no matter who they were. Jin was always there in the morning, sleeping just a few feet away on a separate futon, and she was there when Song came back from housecalls, a pot of tea and a catlike grin always greeting her the moment she opened the door.
Song was raised with the concept that love came in many forms and could never be limited by gender. It felt natural for her to fall for Jin, just like she had almost fallen for Li.
Even though she knew that, she wasn't sure how to tell Jin. Who knew what she thought about love? Especially when it came to her own background, who knew if she felt the same way?
Song resolved to just enjoy what she had. It was the least she could do. And when Jin woke her up in the morning with a poke and a cup of tea, it was worth it.
Jin was confused. She enjoyed having time off, and enjoyed not having to work any longer, but she still felt that something was amiss. She filled her days with keeping the apartment clean while Song was out working, and made sure that tea was ready when she got back. If there was no work to be done, she and Song spent the day chatting in Pao's teahouse or eavesdropping on Fire Nation settlers to see if here was any news on the war.
But something was still amiss.
One day, while Song was grumbling hesitantly about one of her patience and his "busy hands", her cheek propped on one hand and the other hand around her mug of tea, Jin realised what it was, and felt stupid for being that oblivious.
For Jin, who had had a life full of ups and downs, who refused to stay down once pushed, who took joy and comfort and happiness where she could find it, love wasn't defined - it just was.
Song wasn't looking at her - she was glaring at the table and her mouth was pursed with revulsion at the thought of her afternoon. Jin smiled, got to her feet, and leaned in close. When the other girl blinked in surprise, Jin planted a soft kiss on the top of her nose. Song went scarlet, her story forgotten, her large eyes pinned to Jin's with shock and... something like hope.
"Sorry," Jin said happily as an explanation. "I didn't realise until now that I'm in love with you. Is that okay?"
Song stared at her for a long moment, and Jin suddenly wondered if she had done something horrible. But then, very softly, Song replied, "Yes." And then she smiled, and Jin's amiss feelings went elsewhere.
Not much changed.
Song let Jin lead the way, for several reasons, one of which was so that Jin could set the pace in accordance to her comfort level. The other reason was that she simply had no idea how to begin, and she trusted Jin more than herself in that regard.
Jin seemed to find this acceptable, for she never asked for changes. Instead of sleeping in separate futons, they shared Song's, which not only gave them more space but kept them both warm during colder nights. Song was so embarrassed at first, because she was so sure that she had horrible sleeping habits that would be too humiliating to ignore. Jin, however, never seemed to mind - in fact, she seemed to enjoy Song's little quirks. They went to bed curled up together like spoons, and usually awoke tangled together, but that was okay - that was part of the fun.
Song had never had so much fun in her life, really. Jin was a joy and a wonder, always keeping a hand on her and always telling her something nice and sweet every single day. Even when she came home in a bad mood, Jin was always ready with a way to comfort her.
And it wasn't just that. Song was discovering a new world in Jin - more specifically, in terms of physical love. Before Jin, she had never so much as been kissed before, and now she could say she had been kissed in more places than just her lips - and that she liked it and wanted much, much more. Jin never pushed her, never rushed, but went at a pace that suited Song very well. In fact, Jin suited Song very well.
For a while, she was able to forget the war. She was able to forget anything else.
For a while, she even forgot the reason why she came to Ba Sing Se in the first place.
And, oddly enough, it was Jin who reminded her.
"Have you ever been in a relationship before?" Jin wondered softly, her eyes closed. Song's head was pillowed on her bare chest, and Jin was relishing in the sensual feel of running her fingers through the long and dark brown tresses lazily. She admired Song's hair, really - what was it like to have straight hair that never knotted when you tried to tie it back? - and playing with it was one of her favourite pastimes.
"Hm..." Song murmured, sounding both content and tired. Jin liked that, too. She liked that those sounds were for her, alone. She liked that Song fit so snugly against her, clothed or naked - like now. "No. Never."
Jin had honestly figured as much, really. There was an innocence about Song, a softness that seemed to suggest virginity. But then, most people said that about her, too - that is, before they got to know her - and were always wrong, so she never assumed.
"Once, though, I thought there was a chance of a relationship," Song finished.
Jin's eyes opened in surprise. She looked down and saw that Song's eyes were open and startled. "Actually, it's whyI came here. To Ba Sing Se. I was looking for someone..."
Someone... Jin's heart ached all of a sudden in fear. "Who?"
Song shook her head. "I doubt you know him. I was following rumours and I never found him." Him. Again, an ache. "But I had thought... once... that there was... something there..." She trailed off, looking confused.
Jin tried to keep her voice calm. "Who was it?" she wondered.
"A boy named Li."
Jin was sitting up and shouting before she knew it. "What?"
Song stumbled, then caught her balance and sat up also, forgetting her nakedness in her surprise. "What's wrong?" she cried, looking panicked, now.
Jin stared at her. There's no way. There is no way. Hundreds of people are named Li... it has to be a coincidence...
But she asked, all the same. "This boy... was he taller than you, had yellow eyes? Was he also..." she hesitated, then blurted it out. "Was he burned? Here?" She gestured to her own face almost jerkily.
Song's eyes widened and the colour fled from her face. Her mouth parted in her shock, and she nodded. "Yes!" she cried, her hands going up to her mouth. "That's him! You saw him, he was here!"
Jin looked away. "Yeah. he was here."
"Did you talk to him? Do you know where he went?"
Jin nodded. "Yeah, I spoke to him. I also kissed him."
She didn't look at Song when she said it. She was too afraid to. Things were so new and so fresh between them, so amazing and wonderful, that she knew that this was bound to be a deal-breaker.
But when Song suddenly laughed, Jin looked at her in surprise. "You have more guts than I do," Song was saying, the colour back in her cheeks. "I was too afraid to even think about kissing him. He was so angry. And he stole our ostrich-horse."
Jin gaped at her, especially when she started giggling again.
"It seems funny now, but it wasn't funny then," Song admitted finally, looking at Jin earnestly, now. "He was so troubled and confused... his dad is in the war too, did you know? Just like mine."
"No," Jin admitted. "He didn't say. He didn't talk about himself much, actually. It was just him and his uncle, working at Pao's and making tea. He always seemed so miserable when he did it, but..." She smiled a little at the memory. "But I could tell he did it for his uncle."
"Mushi," Song offered.
"Right!" Jin replied, finding a smile on her own lips, now.
Song lay down again, on her back, holding her arms open with a smile. Jin - who never blushed, not anymore - found a curious heat upon her cheeks, and shyly - again, another oddity - she moved closer and lay down in Song's soft embrace.
"How strange," Song murmured. Jin looked up to find that her eyes were closed. "How strange that we found each other. I'm glad we did. I'm so glad we did."
Jin slid her arms around Song's waist and pushed herself closer, shutting her own eyes tight.
That afternoon brought the two of them even closer, which was something Song had never imagined to be possible. She had thought that they had gotten as close as they could - emotionally as well as physically - but with that moment, a whole new level had been reached. It was wonderful.
"Did he ever tell you where he was going?" Song wondered one day, watching Jin pour a mug of tea for her, then for herself.
"Nope," Jin replied. She had seemed rather upset the first time Song had mentioned Li, almost as if she thought that Song was playing a trick on her. It was only when Song proved herself to be genuinely curious and not jealous or spiteful about the whole thing that Jin relaxed - and found it as funny as she. After all, how likely was it that two women who had never met suddenly found themselves sharing a common moment in time with the same boy?
"He just was gone one day, a few days after a huge fight. One of the Upper Ring fatcats offered Mushi his own shop, and since Pao is such a bastard of course he accepted. Hell, even I would have," Jin smirked, catlike once more. "Since then, I never heard from him. No one knows where he went."
"Same," Song agreed, picking up her mug and breathing in its bouquet. "I hope he's okay."
It was a nice thought, but Jin's silence was enough to ground her in reality. The war was getting bad, and the yoke the Fire Nation had on Ba Sing Se grew tighter and tighter each day. It was unlikely that a refugee like Li was okay.
Still, Song was always an optimistic girl. She wouldn't give up until she was certain. She felt that doing so was a kind of betrayal, and she was unwilling to betray Li. Not yet.
The Comet came. its fiery orange glow lit the entire Lower Ring, a stain that seemed to be permanent. Huddled in the furthest corner of the apartment, Song and Jin kept together, a bundle of limbs, fearful eyes kept on the door. In this chaos, anything could happen. Especially in the Lower Ring, when people had so much less to live for, it wasn't unusual to assume that in this moment, all hell would break loose.
Jin kept Song pressed close, her glare aimed on the door, her mouth twisted in a snarl. She had come this far, survived this long, and she was not going to go down without a fight.
She had no idea that Ba Sing Se, at that moment, was being rescued by a teahouse owner she once knew and adored.
After what seemed like eons, Song raised her head and listened. She held her breath and strained her hearing - and realised she hadn't gone deaf; it really was that quiet.
"Jin?" she murmured, her voice sounding much too loud.
The other girl stirred, loosening her hold on Song and pulling away slowly, getting to her feet. She looked dazed, like a sleepwalker. Song followed her, reaching out to grasp her hand tight. Jin's fingers were like ice.
"Silence," Jin murmured.
"Is it over?" Song wondered, her heart racing.
"One way or another," was Jin's stony reply.
They were saved.
In all of her life, Jin had never felt so much hope - ever - until the moment she and Song stepped from their apartment and into the street, seeing dozens of other people do the same. The entire city was scarred all over, but that was nothing compared to the fact that, from the looks of it, the Fire Nation occupation was gone.
Her eyes met countless others, strangers who walked the same charred streets as she and Song, and Jin saw a flicker of hope and wonder there as well.
She had never felt a kinship with her fellow townspeople before. Indeed, she found herself more often than not loathing them, hating them for sitting back and watching her ruining her life without so much as a finger lifted to help her.
But now, as she and Song walked hand-in-hand down the emptied streets, she couldn't help but feel that odd kinship with them.
It was perhaps a month after that eerie peace that a visitor graced Pao's teahouse.
Jin and Song were at their usual table, chatting and giggling over the fact that they could walk down the street and not get any grief from anyone - and how it was absurd that such a thing should be considered a novelty - when a lone individual walked in, dressed in Earth Kingdom peasant clothes that didn't really seem to suit him.
Jin noticed him first and stopped talking in mid-sentence, her large eyes going larger and her face paling. Song blinked in shock and followed her gaze, only to find herself struck just as dumb.
Standing there, looking embarrassed, was Li.
Jin stood up quickly, stumbling over her chair in her haste to reach him, but Song merely stood and stared in shock. It was like a dream - a weird, bizarre dream.
To her surprise, Jin didn't throw herself at Li, didn't move to hug him or anything like that. Instead, she stopped in front of him, her hands in front of her and close to her, as if she had no idea what to do with them.
"Uh," he said, his voice a little hoarse. "Hello."
"Li," Jin answered, sounding bewildered. "You came back!"
Li blushed, looking suddenly very embarrassed. song wondered why - all Jin had said was the obvious.
Then he answered her question before she even asked it.
"My name's not Li. It's Zuko."
Both Song and Jin stared. They both knew what than name meant.
Li is from the Fire Nation...
Song stood up slowly, calling attention to herself. Li - Zuko's - eyes darted over to her, and the previous blush drained from his cheeks in a moment. Then his eyes darted back to Jin, then back to her. "What... how...?" he stammered.
Jin, to Song's relief, suddenly smiled. It was her happy, disarming smile, the one that meant she really was happy. "Shall the three of us go for a walk?" she offered.
Li - Zuko - told his story as they walked. Jin listened quietly, grateful for Song's soft hand in hers. As he went through his story, the three of them looked around the city, inwardly marveling at how much it had changed - for the better - in such a short time.
Although it was quite a story, Jin found herself believing it. He really had no reason to lie to her or Song, and although it sounded very far-fetched, Jin realised belatedly that she actually had heard of him before now - and that he was rather infamous.
It took them a whole walk around the block before Zuko was done telling his story. He then stopped once they reached the teahouse again, surprising Jin and Song by standing before them and bowing low and deep, his hands held before him.
"I'm sorry," he murmured, his eyes downcast. "You met me during a rough time, and I think I probably took some of that out on you. You didn't deserve that."
"It's okay," Song said quickly, surprising both Zuko and Jin. She was smiling. "Really, the truth of the matter is that without you treating us that way, we would have never, ever found each other."
Song's eyes slid to Jin's, and they shone. Jin found herself smiling back.
"You did us a favour, Li...Zuko," Song added, though her eyes were still on Jin's. "So no apology is needed."
-End