Frodo Baggins decided that he, Merry and Pippin would take a day trip to Isengard. There was nothing better to do, and things were getting pretty boring in The Shire. So Frodo grabbed some maps, and away to Isengard they went. After hours of walking, and changing economic times in Middle Earth, the hobbits appeared at Wal-Mart.
"We got lost. We took a wrong left or right or something!" Merry exclaimed. "We followed the map." "Well apparently we got lost. This is 'Wal-Mart'. Not Isengard!" "Pippin, I'm pretty sure I can read." Replied Frodo crossly. "Someone didn't have second breakfast." Merry whispered to Pippin. "According to the map, we are in Isengard. Why it's a huge building called Wal-Mart, I don't know. But maybe Isengard is inside the Wal-Mart. Or maybe the guards can tell us where they placed Isengard." "Then let's go in!" Merry said, leading the other two hobbits into the store.
"Hi! Welcome to Wal-Mart." The hobbits were greeted. "The guard is pretty happy." Pippin said, almost walking into a display of 2 liters. "I don't think that's the guard… she's too happy and what guard has smiley face stickers to give away?"Merry said who walked directly into a Snuggie display. Merry quickly got up, and left the pile of Snuggies to be picked up by whoever had that job.
"This place is weird. And I don't recall Bilbo ever telling me any story about a place like this. We need to find Isengard. Now." "Calm down Frodo! I'm sure one of these can help us!" Pippin held up a playground ball that looked like the globe. "A ball?" "It has a map on it." "That's not going to help us. MERRY! What are you doing?" "I'm eating these things called Doritos." "I don't think those are free." "Who cares?" Pippin said, grabbing a handful of Doritos out of the bag Merry had.
"Gandalf!" Frodo shouted, as the hobbits walked down the small appliances isle. "Frodo! What are you three doing here?" "We were going to Isengard." Merry said mouth full of Doritos. "Oh. I see. Yes, unfortunately, due to money issues, Isengard is now this Wal-Mart. But this is the only place on Middle Earth where you can get great deals on small appliances. Like this toaster oven!" "We don't care about your toaster oven! We want more Doritos!" Pippin said, finding a WWE beach towel and wiping his Dorito covered hands on John Cena's face.
Gandalf looked at Frodo and shook his head. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?" "Because I didn't think you would go to Isengard for fun." "But what if I wanted good deals on items?" "Frodo, Frodo, Frodo." "What do you need a toaster oven for? Are you going to oven bake your toaster?" Gandalf laughed. "No, Frodo. A toaster oven is a toaster that's also a small oven. It cooks more than toast. I can bake pizza and other good things in it." "Why is that necessary?" "It's convenient. And only 25 dollars. You should buy one. I think you would like it." "I have an oven. Why do I need it in toaster form?" "Fine, don't get a toaster oven. But don't get angry waiting for your oven to preheat just for toast."
"LOOK AT ME!" Merry shouted, riding a pink Disney Princess bicycle. Frodo did a face palm. But what Merry did was nothing compared to what Pippin did. Pippin climbed into the crate of large rubber playground balls and threw them as people were walking by. "If I would have known that this was a Wal-Mart, I would have left Merry and Pippin at home and brought Sam. Hell Sméagol would act more appropriately." "Wal-Mart is a curious place, Frodo." "Not that curious…"
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Okay, I DO NOT own any Lord Of The Rings character. This is a parody...this is a longer version of a Flash-Fiction assignment for my Fantasy and Myth class. Enjoy!